OP here's my very long take:
I am not Korean or any other minority, but I am the daughter of a man with a very high profile job, one that requires him to look "good" (whatever that means) to the outside community at all times, and that extends to his family as well. I grew up with a lot of pressure to be perferct, or at least appear that way, and it's taken me a long time to even recognize how much that affects me, let alone to try to do something about it.
Since I've started applying to medical school everytime I turn around, I find out that my mom is telling someone about her daughter, the doctor to be. It drives me crazy. I specifically took time off after college to give myself time to figure out if I was going into medicine because it was right for me or because that's what seemed to impress other people. So now that I am applying, having my mom brag about it makes me really uncomfortable. But worse than that, if I don't get in I keep having these visions of my mom hanging her head in shame and trying to mumble some excuse on my behalf to all of those people she was bragging to. This process can be brutal, but it's downright demoralizing when your failures are shared with and judged by people whom you value, and even some you don't.
But the important thing to remember is that this process is not in any way a reflection on you. We've all heard the story of at least one amazing, perfect candidate who got rejected for reasons no one understands. Sure someone's application may not be ideal, and that may be hurting him or her, but we all have mistakes in our past that we have to explain at some point or other. And no one, and I mean no one can actually be perfect, and those who appear to be so scare me. I've found that it's usually a sign that something really dangerous is lurking underneath the surface. I know a girl who got interviews at seven schools with as many acceptances. She looks fabulous on paper and knows how to put on the right show, but my god, she's got serious inner problems. If I saw that "perfect" candidate one day as my future doctor, I'd run screaming.
So yes, rejection hurts ... a lot. Let it. Give yourself permission and time to feel like crap and recognize where you could use improvement. But then let go of it, fix what you can, and move on. And be proud of what you have accomplished. Your MCAT score is amazing, and I'm willing to bet your GPA is nothing to be ashamed of. Plus, I'm guessing your academics and scores are not the only good things or even the best things about who you are.
It is hard to deal with the added pressure of feeling you've disappointed your family, and you can't write that off easily. But if you can, seek some support from outside sources, and try to give yourself room to not be perfect. Recognizing that others' expectations were both unrealistic and unfair helped me a lot.
