how do mothers get along in med school?

[gabiella]

I am seriously debating going to dental school because I am sooooo afraid of not being able to manage med- school and the life style of becoming a doctor together with maintaining a good relationship with my husband and being a good mom. I am 29 years old and am hoping to have a baby in the next year.
I love medicine and that is were my heart is but I see how I can also fall in love with dentistry as soon as I learn more about it. I don't think that dental school is easier but it is shorter and the lifestyle that follows the four years of school is definetly easier (right?!).
I have been thinking about this forever and can't reach a decision since my passion for medicine and for having a family and being a mom (that is there for her kids and husband) are both very strong.
any suggestions? any moms in med school that can share their experiences?
(excuse me for spelling mistakes, english is my 2nd language)

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Haemulon]

I can only say that it is possible. Difficult, but possible. You are doing the right thing by reaching out to find others that have already done it, to learn from their experiences. For what it is worth I am a MS2 and a father of 3, all under the age of 5. It is hard but we have all adjusted. Have you shared your concerns with your husband? You two will definitely need to be on the same page should you go this route.

 

[UnderdogMD]

Go to MomMD.com and talk with moms. Hear opinions but remember they are only opinions. Everybody's situation is different.

My opinion:

It is hard but doable. Whether you should or shouldn't totally depends on your personal situation. I know a mother who went through medical school and had two small kids. I imagine it was very tough for her but she had a very supportive husband and most importantly, the full support of both of her retired parents who lived with them.

consider the path

4 years of med school-(First 2 years are tough. Rotations are harder in terms of flexible time)
3-4 years of residency-(Except for a few specialties, very difficult and time consuming.)

 

[DrMom]

Everybody's situation is different.

This is the key. Some manage very well, others really struggle with the family/school balance. There are way too many variables involved for anyone to give a real answer, but I'll ditto the importance of your husband's support. I also agree that MomMD.com's forums are a good resource.

 

[lilnoelle]

There aren't a whole ton of us, but there are med student moms around.
I'm a third year student and mother of a five year old (who started kidnergarten today) and a three year old. First two years weren't too bad. This year is harder. I may be able to write more later, or if you want to ask me any specific questions, pm me.

 

[MILK07]

There aren't a whole ton of us, but there are med student moms around.
I'm a third year student and mother of a five year old (who started kidnergarten today) and a three year old. First two years weren't too bad. This year is harder. I may be able to write more later, or if you want to ask me any specific questions, pm me.

I'm assuming your avatar is your kids... they are precious!

 

[blankette]

4 years of med school-(First 2 years are tough. Rotations are harder in terms of flexible time)
3-4 years of residency-(Except for a few specialties, very difficult and time consuming.)

I've been wondering this myself -- which are considered "easier" residencies? Would this be like FM or psych, path...??

 

[nonesuchgirl]

I've been wondering this myself -- which are considered "easier" residencies? Would this be like FM or psych, path...??

IM, psych, pathology, opthal to a degree, peds, ob/gyn, rads, derm...

Anything but surgery, for the most part.

(That is, for scheduling issues. The ROAD-E are difficult to match in, but they're lifestyle specialties. Surgery is hard because it requires a special brand of crazy.)

 

[daniellema13]

IM, psych, pathology, opthal to a degree, peds, ob/gyn, rads, derm...

Anything but surgery, for the most part.

(That is, for scheduling issues. The ROAD-E are difficult to match in, but they're lifestyle specialties. Surgery is hard because it requires a special brand of crazy.)

ob/gyn is one of the hardest residencies as is rads to an extent (crazy call, etc). IM is also pretty intense and really so is peds depending on where you go. pathology generally has less work hours but WAY more outside studying than most specialties and is by no means easy...you have to master a TON of info for path. Not sure where nonesuch is getting her info. Although no residency is a cake walk, i would say that psych and derm are probably the most "lifestyle" friendly and least time intensive. That said, most of those that she listed have decent lifestyles AFTER residency, but definitely not IM (especially for subs) or ob/gyn (unless you're in a sweet practice with multiple other ob/gyn's to pick up the slack). Radiation oncology can also have a pretty sweet lifestyle, but is hard to match into.

 

[roseglass6370]

Emergency Medicine gives you a pretty family-friendly lifestyle (eventually) because once you're off the clock you're off the clock until your next shift. Although the shift hours vary...could be days, nights, long, short, etc.

But like I said, the big plus in EM is that there is no being "on call" once you're out. That's part of the reason why I'm considering it. For sure not the whole reason...but it's part of the reason.

 

[nonesuchgirl]

ob/gyn is one of the hardest residencies as is rads to an extent (crazy call, etc). IM is also pretty intense and really so is peds depending on where you go. pathology generally has less work hours but WAY more outside studying than most specialties and is by no means easy...you have to master a TON of info for path. Not sure where nonesuch is getting her info. Although no residency is a cake walk, i would say that psych and derm are probably the most "lifestyle" friendly and least time intensive. That said, most of those that she listed have decent lifestyles AFTER residency, but definitely not IM (especially for subs) or ob/gyn (unless you're in a sweet practice with multiple other ob/gyn's to pick up the slack). Radiation oncology can also have a pretty sweet lifestyle, but is hard to match into.

Sweetie, don't call me nonesuch. We aren't that friendly. OB's not that hard. Neither is IM or Peds. Come back when you've been around the block.

 

[McDoc]

I'm an EM resident, my husband is a dentist. We've been together since college so I've been through both. We have a 2.5 year old son.

Don't go to dental school unless you know you like it. He loves it. But he lost more people in his class (dropped out) first/second year than I did in med school because of the technical challenges of restorations and all that. Some people underestimate the skill it takes. Shadow a dentist before you decide.

I had my son as an intern, it would have been easier during med school so you can do it if you decide to go that way. I think dentistry is a more family friendly path but you have to want to do it, don't do it because it is similar to medicine and won't be as long of training. You have to be an artist and be able to work in little spaces. I could never do it but my husband loves it. He is a great dad with his nice office hours right out of school and all too.

 

[Tropicana]

Here's a discussion about best specialties for moms

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=361994

 

[daniellema13]

Sweetie, don't call me nonesuch. We aren't that friendly. OB's not that hard. Neither is IM or Peds. Come back when you've been around the block.

Wow, condescending much? Trust me "sweetie" my calling you nonesuch had nothing to do with friendliness.. it's called abbreviation, it's not a novel concept. And believe it or not, when i questioned where you were getting your info it was out of curiosity not rudeness because all of my amateur time on the "block" working closely with residents and doctors has shown me that in fact these residencies are not "easy." I've made no claims to have experience in every residency as you seem to...

The OP was asking about "lifestyle" RESIDENCIES and from everything i've seen and heard i'd tend do disagree that all of the ones you mentioned fit the bill. So i was just offering some additional educated advice as that is the purpose of these forums. Sorry if i offended you, it wasn't my intention.

 

[nonesuchgirl]

The OP was asking about "lifestyle" RESIDENCIES and from everything i've seen and heard i'd tend do disagree that all of the ones you mentioned fit the bill. So i was just offering some additional educated advice as that is the purpose of these forums. Sorry if i offended you, it wasn't my intention.

Experience has shown that your attitude is the rarity. The odds were with me, but I guess they were wrong.

I work for what is currently considered the top hospital in the nation. I've been most places there and have second hand on the rest.

Maybe to an IM or Peds or Path resident they've got it hard. To a surgery kid, or EM, not so much- especially surgery.

There's not really that much to OB unless you're working the highrisk clinic.

 

[daniellema13]

Experience has shown that your attitude is the rarity. The odds were with me, but I guess they were wrong.

I work for what is currently considered the top hospital in the nation. I've been most places there and have second hand on the rest.

Maybe to an IM or Peds or Path resident they've got it hard. To a surgery kid, or EM, not so much- especially surgery.

There's not really that much to OB unless you're working the highrisk clinic.

Actually even within this forum, most posts i've read are pretty consistent with what i've seen of residencies. Sorry if you working as a premed in the best hospital holds less weight than what actual residents and med students have told me about their experiences. I've been working in a hospital for 3 years but i don't clout that as making me an expert in something i've never done.

I agree that surgery is by far the hardest specialty out there and blows the others out of the water. Maybe "hard" wasnt the best word to describe OB... what i meant was that in terms of scheduling and hours it can be very difficult in regards to lifestyle because you can't exactly predict when someone will have a baby, how long they will be in labor, etc. A few resident friends of mine have also said that OB is very gruelling. Anyway, I am simply sharing my knowledge with the OP based on my own experiences. And you have yours. there is no need to rudely tell people to "come back later" just because you think your experience trumps everyone elses. The OP is i'm sure intelligent enough to decide of her own accord based on a wide body of material how accurate the info given here is.

 

[nonesuchgirl]

Actually even within this forum, most posts i've read are pretty consistent with what i've seen of residencies.

Seriously, about OB... if you're a resident, you've got set call hours. It's not like you're suddenly going to have call. What happens on call is anyone's guess for any given shift.

Within pre-allo, or the real world? Anyone's going to tell you they've got it roughest. The reality is probably vastly different.

And I'm not premed, kiddo.

 

[daniellema13]

Seriously, about OB... if you're a resident, you've got set call hours. It's not like you're suddenly going to have call. What happens on call is anyone's guess for any given shift.

Within pre-allo, or the real world? Anyone's going to tell you they've got it roughest. The reality is probably vastly different.

And I'm not premed, kiddo.

My mistake. If you don't mind my asking, what does your interest in pre-allo stem from if you don't intend on going to med school? Just curious

I'd prefer not to be called kiddo as i'm 26 years old.

Oh and i was referring to the real world. I was just adding that many SDN threads pre-allo and beyond have validated my own experiences.

 

[DrMom]

I'm not sure why this thread has taken this turn, but lets stay more civil, please.


On the note of lifestyle residencies, it depends a lot on definition/expectation. Short residency hours, for the most part, tend to be 60-ish hours a week plus reading/lectures. Most residencies I've been exposed to are 70+ hrs a week, with some programs in blatant violation of the hours rules. You'll be hard pressed to find a residency with frequent 40 hour weeks, even if after residency practice in that specialty is shorter hours. I'm not saying that no such residency hours exist, just that they're extremely hard to come by.

 

[teddybear]

I don't think that dental school is easier but it is shorter and the lifestyle that follows the four years of school is definetly easier (right?!).

I don't know if this is true or not but I think it would definitely be the wrong reason for you to decide on dental versus medical school. I think if that was your deciding factor then you would live to regret it.

 

[Nanon]

IM, psych, pathology, opthal to a degree, peds, ob/gyn, rads, derm...

Anything but surgery, for the most part.

(That is, for scheduling issues. The ROAD-E are difficult to match in, but they're lifestyle specialties. Surgery is hard because it requires a special brand of crazy.)

... Yep.

 

[gabiella]

I stilll am very confused but I really appreciate your insight and sharing your experiences. I think I should shadow a dentist very soon and maybe that will help my decision. Also I would ask around some more. Right now I have no idea... what I really want to do is medicine. I just wish it did not conflicting too much with family life, cause' that's what makes this so hard for me. Thanks again!

 

[Jolie South]

I don't know if this is true or not but I think it would definitely be the wrong reason for you to decide on dental versus medical school. I think if that was your deciding factor then you would live to regret it.

yea, i have a friend that decided to be a dentist because he listened to all the advice about how it's easier and you can have a better lifestyle. he totally regrets it.

plus, i don't know how easy dental school is. i know a bunch of dentists and when i hear them talk about their boards, i don't think it's that much different than us with Step I and II. i think it's probably challenging as well.

 

[smq123]

IM, psych, pathology, opthal to a degree, peds, ob/gyn, rads, derm...

This is a very strange list.

I would not say "ophtho to a degree." Ophtho is a GREAT lifestyle specialty, as many ophtho residents will tell you. It is basically exclusively outpatient - minimal rounding, few call responsibilities. Very few eye emergencies.

And I would not characterize OB/gyn as an "easier" residency.

Sweetie, don't call me nonesuch. We aren't that friendly. OB's not that hard. Neither is IM or Peds. Come back when you've been around the block.

The difficulty of an OB residency (in terms of hours) depends on the residency site.

Smaller OB/gyn programs, with fewer residents, will require at least q4 call for all 4 years. Bigger programs can create a night float system which makes it "easier" for the residents. Still, 70-80 hours a week is going to be normal.

While I would say that IM and Peds are less intense than surgery, I would NOT characterize them as "not that hard." Unless you do them, you can't judge. And I know that you're neither a med student or a resident yet.

And it's kind of arrogant to tell someone to "come back when you've been around the block" when YOU haven't been around the block yet either.

There's not really that much to OB unless you're working the highrisk clinic.

Again, how do you know? You have not even rotated through OB, or spent a night taking care of patients on L&D.

Your assumptions are insulting and simplistic. Wait until you're on L&D and then 3 patients come in for r/o labor (or, even worse, r/o PROM), while simultaneously one patient has definite fetal distress on the strip and needs a c/s NOW, and then, at the same time, two patients start crowning.

(And, actually, high risk clinic [MFM] usually has an easier lifestyle than regular OB/gyn.)

Seriously, about OB... if you're a resident, you've got set call hours. It's not like you're suddenly going to have call. What happens on call is anyone's guess for any given shift.

You have set call hours on surgery, too. Particularly with the advent of night float.

And I'm not premed, kiddo.

Well, you're not a med student OR a resident either. So....doesn't that make you pre-med?

 

[unsung]

This is a very strange list.

I would not say "ophtho to a degree." Ophtho is a GREAT lifestyle specialty, as many ophtho residents will tell you. It is basically exclusively outpatient - minimal rounding, few call responsibilities. Very few eye emergencies.

And I would not characterize OB/gyn as an "easier" residency.



The difficulty of an OB residency (in terms of hours) depends on the residency site.

Smaller OB/gyn programs, with fewer residents, will require at least q4 call for all 4 years. Bigger programs can create a night float system which makes it "easier" for the residents. Still, 70-80 hours a week is going to be normal.

While I would say that IM and Peds are less intense than surgery, I would NOT characterize them as "not that hard." Unless you do them, you can't judge. And I know that you're neither a med student or a resident yet.

And it's kind of arrogant to tell someone to "come back when you've been around the block" when YOU haven't been around the block yet either.



Again, how do you know? You have not even rotated through OB, or spent a night taking care of patients on L&D.

Your assumptions are insulting and simplistic. Wait until you're on L&D and then 3 patients come in for r/o labor (or, even worse, r/o PROM), while simultaneously one patient has definite fetal distress on the strip and needs a c/s NOW, and then, at the same time, two patients start crowning.

(And, actually, high risk clinic [MFM] usually has an easier lifestyle than regular OB/gyn.)



You have set call hours on surgery, too. Particularly with the advent of night float.



Well, you're not a med student OR a resident either. So....doesn't that make you pre-med?

Just ignore nonesuch, s/he is a troll. His/her posts are always inflammatory. In another thread, s/he advocated to the OP to basically ditch ailing parents by moving far away. It wasn't what s/he advocated as much as his/her tone-- totally condescending toward any posters who dared disagree with him/her. Seems s/he has a huge chip on his/her shoulder.

 

[DoctorSteinman]

Solution: Go back to the kitchen.

 

[lilTXcatMD]

Gabiella - I am a 2nd year medical student and currently 30 weeks pregnant. PM me if you have any questions about actually being pregnant in med school. Sorry I can't help with the actual knowledge of having the kid but I can share what I have learned.. good luck in whatever you decide to do!

 

[oxeye]

I'm a second year medical student, mom of two little girls (3 and 5 years old) with #3 on the way. Obviously first year wasn't too bad or I wouldn't be attempting to do this with another one.

It's going to be completely different for everyone. I can study well with noise and children climbing on me and lots of interruptions to get snacks and wipe bottoms for little people so it works for me. I'd feel differently about this whole school thing if I needed quiet time in order to be productive.

I expect third year will be harder on me simply because I will be away from the kids more and I will miss them, but I know I will manage (even if I do take a year to do an MBA or MPH to delay rotations a bit).

PM me if you have any questions. I am happy to help but I may not see a response here very quickly.

 

[teddybear]

Solution: Go back to the kitchen.

She will as soon as you get out of it.