i need help deciding if i should become a doctor. first, let me tell you for the past 13 months, i have been so depressed because of not being able to make my decision. every day when i wake up, i wonder if this is the last day that i am undecided, but that day never comes. right now i was praying to the lord that he help me, and something in my head told me to post this on this forum. ok... i graduated from a university in the united states with a degree in math. i enjoy working with numbers, reading chart. i also enjoy statistics, calculating probabilities, risk, how to reduce risk. i think i enjoy stats more than math. during my undergrad years, i also took most of the med school prereqs becasue i was also considering medicine as a possible career. about 3 months ago i started shadowing this amazing doctor at a hospital. he is a surgeon, but he is unlike any surgeon i have ever seen, he is not nerdy, he is cool. he says the f word a lot. he is coooooool. he is just my hero. he is confident, i am not. he is socially skilled, i am socially inept. he is just everything that i want to be. one side of me tells me i should do what i enjoy, which is something like data analysis or actuary, because its so much easier, i dont have to deal with the mcat, and all the difficulty of med school, and the step 1....but this doctor's personality is so amazing, it just makes me want to be like him. the other side says medicine is so much more rewarding. when someone is ill and you make them better, that is so much more rewarding than working a 9-5 job analyzing some bull**** data. now let me say BASED ON MY SHADOWING EXPERIENCE SO FAR i don't hate medicine, but i also haven't found it enjoyable. i mean it doesn't turn me on. maybe i have the wrong impression about what a doctor does every day, but this is what i have seen while shadowing: how old are you ? (boring) when did you get your first period? (boring). has anyone in your family ever had cancer? (yawn) oh, you used to be an actor? (who cares). what is this bump on your leg? (boring) my cousin told me the reason why you dont enjoy it is because you are not getting paid, trust me if you got money for it, you would enjoy it. (sorry this isnt something i made up, this is what he said) so i dont know. thats all i have to say for now, if you have any questions just let me know. this decision is so hard for me to make i am seriously considering saying the hell with it and just going on welfare for the rest of my life.