how do you guys deal when

[vixen]

your SO is long distance....and things are changing....my bf and I have been together 2.5yrs, and the last year of it being long distance....now this coming year will also be long distance and he just started school in boston....I think I can deal w/the long distance thing one more year, but Im uneasy with how he moved to a bigger place with students everywhere, going to be busy w/school etc....plus I have a new job this fall so there's lots of change at once...im terrible with change....I totally trust him and I have absolutely no reason to doubt him, but its still hard...he has been extra reassuring w/me because all of this change and the "unknown" is bothering me, and he's said some important things basically saying we'll always be together...like he is stuck living in a dorm this year, and I hate the fact that there are 50 other people living w/him that I dont know, and half are girls....some of you may think this is crazy, but maybe because my ex (~4yrs ago) cheated on me....after that I was so hurt, its taking some practice to learn to fully trust again....its hard but getting better....I applied to schools in boston for next year....I hope I get in, cause after 2yrs, this long distance crap is really killing me....Eh, I should try calming down somehow...how are you guys doing?

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[Wifty]

Hi Vixen!

Sometimes things have to be faked before they are truly felt.
You have no reason not to trust your boyfriend, but because of the past, its hard for you to 'feel' trust even if logically its there (your head knows it, but your heart doesn't quite feel it).

It will just take time of seeing how he does and that there is no reason not to trust him and hopefully, your going thru the motions kind of trust, will lead to the actual, complete, never doubting kind.

Partially though, alot of it just sounds like there is so much on your plate with all the changes and emotions, that past vulnerable emotions (like trust) can be brought to the forefront and they will become easier to deal with as things settle down.

Good luck with getting into the Boston schools! I can't imagine how aggravating it has to be to be long distance for so long!

With a smile,
Wifty

 

[vixen]

oh thank you so much for replying wifty....that was really good to hear (well read!) ....we are def working on things and time will help also....luckily things are getting better each day...hopefully this will continue!!