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how do you guys deals with crushing self doubt

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - DO' started by ruthslayderginsberg, Sep 5, 2014.

  1. ruthslayderginsberg

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    super emo post alert: anyone completely overcome with self doubt?
    i'm a non trad who gave up alot to go back and do a post bac, and have just been kind of moping around since finishing my classes in may (im working, just not enough)

    aand i just got rejected from every school i applied to except two, where i have interviews (thank god)
    so now, in spite of my amazing fortune to even have interviews at all, my morale is at an all time low, and i'm just beginning to realize that this might have all been for naught. and realizing that i don't have a real back up plan.

    any tips? words of wisdom?
     
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  3. DoctorSynthesis

    DoctorSynthesis Friendly osteopath
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    Why not apply to more schools? Still early
     
  4. ruthslayderginsberg

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    i'm geographically constrained or i would in a heartbeat
     
  5. DoctorSynthesis

    DoctorSynthesis Friendly osteopath
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    Can't be in this process
     
    Goro likes this.
  6. ruthslayderginsberg

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    many people are, though
     
  7. IslandStyle808

    IslandStyle808 Akuma residency or bust!
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    like financially or family?
     
  8. ruthslayderginsberg

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    it's personal or i would share the details - it has to do with family
     
  9. IslandStyle808

    IslandStyle808 Akuma residency or bust!
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    I see... Not sure what to say, but do the best you can. If it doesn't work out this cycle, then I suggest if your family situation is temporary (meaning a couple years at most), then make sure to take care of that first. Then apply more broadly.

    I have had my fair share of family situations (and I mean the medical emergency type), even now I have one family member with me and have to leave them. I had to be pretty much okay with where ever I can get in. I am from Hawaii and that is almost as bad as it gets (except for Alaska), when you look at it geographically.
     
    ruthslayderginsberg likes this.
  10. Sean Lee

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    How many schools did you apply to?

    I would kill those two interviews.
     
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  11. kkosp2451

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    At least you got 2 interviews. Some people don't get any interviews at all.
     
  12. IslandStyle808

    IslandStyle808 Akuma residency or bust!
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    Plus they are near by. OP is very lucky.
     
  13. nontrad78

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    I focus on my interviews.
    I'm also a nontrad (check out the nametag). It sounds like your family situations are a little bit more constricting than mine, but I'm married and have a 3 year old little boy. MOST of the last 3 years, since we decided that I would return to school to pursue this again, has been filled with doubt. I've got 2 interviews now also, and a tremendous amount of pressure has been relieved. I know that interviews don't equal acceptance, but as older applicants, interviews should be where we excel.
    If you've got two interviews, you're probably in pretty good shape. Study up on the schools, potential questions, and just go in and have a conversation about your lifelong dream, which just so happens to be at your fingertips now.
    Good work!
     
  14. nontrad78

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    Another thought: crushing self doubt does not belong to people about to become physicians. We have no right to wallow. We owe it to everyone else in the world who does not have the same opportunity, to grab that **** by the throat and own it. And then find a way to make it better for them.
     
    hawruh likes this.
  15. Ailleurs

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    I'm not sure I agree with you. Being able to acknowledge temporary weaknesses and overcome them can be what defines the happier moments, IMO. This is just based on how I am and from my experience. As long as you don't wallow and swim in self-pity too long (1-3 days tops), I don't see any harm in it.

    Try your hardest to get yourself to the gym so that you can get some endorphins released by working your butt off, even if it's for 20 minutes. It's like an instant happiness makeover if there ever was one. And if you've been moping around already, have you been following an irregular sleeping schedule? When I was dealing with depression, I took a long hard look at everything that triggered all the negative emotions in me (took me about a year and I'm still learning new things). Poor sleeping and eating habits are my biggest culprits other than issues that are beyond my control (family and etc). For me, those are things I forget to focus on when I have so many other stressful pre-DO things to worry about. Perhaps look into yours, it might be exacerbating your situation.

    Read stories about successful entrepreneurs and businessmen who made it from nothing. A lot of people have difficult situations but they don't let those situations define them. They use it as a way to find hope of something better. Read/watch stuff about athletes who sacrifice a boatload for their goals. When I compare myself to people like that I feel ashamed for feeling self-pity. Maybe you might feel the same. I'm sure you know Ruth Bader Ginsburg still fulfilled her duties while doing her chemotherapy.

    OP, give yourself one day to yourself to do whatever you want. Fall into a book and forget the world, get lost in a video game, or just hang out with people whose company you enjoy. For extroverts especially, hanging out with people whose company you enjoy and whose ethics you value, might be just what you need to get yourself on two feet. Something that I want to add is not to over indulge in an excess of bad food. I'm not sure about other people but overeating crap makes me feel like crap the next day.

    Also, this is what you want. After your day off, I do agree with nontrad78 that you should grab those interviews by the throat and own it. They're clearly interested in you, now you must return the favor. There are plenty of books, thread, and advice about acing interviews. Get on it :)

    TL;DR - give yourself a day off to do anything and everything that will temporarily make you forget about your situation. Try not to overindulge in crap food and try to sleep properly if you aren't. People underestimate this, but it really affects a lot of people. Immediately afterwards get yourself motivated by remembering why you are doing this and not to forget about what you want. You made it this far, you owe it to yourself to continue and let the self-doubt fall to the wayside.

    P.S. my name is ruth! Hahah.
     
    #14 Ailleurs, Sep 6, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2014
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  16. nontrad78

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    I agree with everything Ruth says. My second thought is just a little pep talk I give myself when the wallowing has gone too long. Of course, it's extremely important to be aware of your weaknesses, but there is a healthy middle ground we have to find.
    Good advice on the food and sleep too.
     
    #15 nontrad78, Sep 6, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2014
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  17. TurkTurkleton92

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    From a guy with mediocre stats, I went 2/2 with my interviews. If you do well in your interviews, then you'll have nothing to worry about.
     
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  18. JPickos9989

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    "When I get sad or depressed, I stop being sad and depressed and be awesome instead." - Barney Stinson
     
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  19. ruthslayderginsberg

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    wow, thank you guys so much for all the support, it has, somewhat surprisingly, since this is bastion of anonymous posting on the internet, genuinely bolstered my spirits. it's also made me feel bad for whining, which is good, since i should just be like barney stinson and not like a sad clown.

    i'm going to go take a hike and attempt to pour my free time into some volunteering rather than moping
     
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  20. Tirian

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    One more thing. You can doubt all you want, and be scared, and whatever you want to feel. But don't let that stop you from working your plan.

    This is why people like Nick Saban (sorry, too much football) talk all the time about the process. Emotions run high and low, the breaks go one way then the other, and generally speaking, life has a 100% chance of being weird. So if you establish a sound process - you're studying X and Y and Z, and you're prepping interview questions, and you're doing a mock interview or two, and you're doing the other sorts of things that are part of a healthy "process" in becoming a physician, then THAT is what is important.

    Because when we're there at the bad end of 30 hours, and it's another car accident with three babies and a screaming mother and a crying father (who is 6'17" and played for Nick Saban), then I hope to hell we Work The Process rather than thinking about how we're feeling, because we will most certainly feel like hiding under the stairs and calling for someone else to do this thing.

    But we won't run. We won't back away. We will work our well-established process.

    Just like you're doing now. And like I'm doing when I get off of here and work on my biochem.
     
    ruthslayderginsberg likes this.
  21. JBtt

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    Two interview invites are awesome! and I'm sure you're going to do amazing. Because you're a nontrad, you've had a different experience than most to get to this medical school path and you should emphasize that experience during your interview.

    I'm in the same boat as you, in the sense, that I'm a nontrad and haven't had many interview invites. But I've had one for my top choice school and I found the best way to boost my self esteem is practice my interview skills until I know I'm going to kill the interview. Good luck!
     
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