How do you personally motivate yourself?

[Onward]

Question to non-traditional students: How do you stay motivated?

Currently, my life plans mean that I won't be out of medical school until I'm 33. And while sometimes I am motivated and excited, other times I just wake up scared and wonder if I should just give up and try to be satisfied with what I have. I worry that I'll go through all this effort and get rejected. I worry that even if I don't get rejected, I'll be so old that I just become one of those people who never leave school.

It doesn't help that my family gives me an almost daily assault asking why I am thinking of giving up a good job at the UN to pursue medical school. Home for Easter, I just got a 2 hour lecture from my mother. My sister goes on and on about how I'll spend half my life in school, how I just can't accept what I have, etc. My dad repeats the "half your life in school" thing, and they all add that I better not come to them for money.

How do you all keep motivated at the start of this long journey, especially if friends and family unanimously all just discourage you?

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[Klemptor]

The time and financial commitments of med school are daunting, and it's not surprising that you sometimes feel scared or that your parents don't support your decision. But if, in your heart, you really want to go to med school, then you have to tune out all the people who get in the way of that. They probably mean well but they're not you, and this is your life, so their opinions aren't worth much. And once you've tuned them out and you're listening only to yourself, ask yourself how badly you want it, and whether or not you're going to be OK with the time and financial commitments.

Since your parents are unsupportive of your decision, try motivating yourself with the thought of proving them wrong. And since you sometimes feel scared, try motivating yourself with the thought of proving to yourself that you can hack it.

 

[ILikeFood]

Question to non-traditional students: How do you stay motivated?

Currently, my life plans mean that I won't be out of medical school until I'm 33. And while sometimes I am motivated and excited, other times I just wake up scared and wonder if I should just give up and try to be satisfied with what I have. I worry that I'll go through all this effort and get rejected. I worry that even if I don't get rejected, I'll be so old that I just become one of those people who never leave school.

It doesn't help that my family gives me an almost daily assault asking why I am thinking of giving up a good job at the UN to pursue medical school. Home for Easter, I just got a 2 hour lecture from my mother. My sister goes on and on about how I'll spend half my life in school, how I just can't accept what I have, etc. My dad repeats the "half your life in school" thing, and they all add that I better not come to them for money.

How do you all keep motivated at the start of this long journey, especially if friends and family unanimously all just discourage you?

= My situation for the past 2 years. Now it's over and I'm headed to medical school in the fall. I'll be 31 when I graduate, but then I'll be 31 anyway.

 

[Crelal]

For me, motivation is about being aware of the big picture, but truly focusing on the next goal, whatever that may be.

Now with 127 days until orientation, I am focused on the logistics of selling a house and moving a family to a new city. (Daycares, schools, apartments, resources, financial aid,

Once school starts, my *plan* is to focus on each course, keep up in the reading, and set goals related to exams in the courses. *** this is what worked best in undergrad... I will probably have to adjust study habits, goals, etc. as I settle in this fall***

As far as family- mine has been fairly supportive, just b/c they knew how unhappy I was out of the medical field and saw the effort I put in to get to this point. Their support will be important in the future; however, that being said, this is your life, and your decision, so let them know that you hear their concerns, but this is your dream and you do not want to regret not going for it.

 

[beckhunter116]

OP, I completely understand where you are coming from. Sometimes families just don't know what would make us happy, it sucks b/c medical school is a stressful situation. Applying, getting an acceptance, going through four years of rigorous schooling, and then matching into a residency (hopefully a top choice)--it all takes a lot out of us.

I don't know if I recommend the 'I'll do it to spite them method', I feel like it will leave you bitter towards your family. Or maybe that's how that would leave me feeling towards my family. I go much more with the less they know, the better. Especially before getting accepted to a school. Good luck! I hope it all works out.

 

[Micahfeld]

There's no better motivator than success. Just work hard for yourself, and ignore the naysayers.

"If you think you can or you think you can't, you're right."
- Henry Ford

 

[EricH]

They don't have to know anything until you're accepted

Honestly I think it's gonna be a lot funnier that way.."Hey dude, can you come to my wedding this summer?" "Oh really? I didn't know you were moving across the country" "No way you're going to MED SCHOOL???? What the f?"

+1, DO THIS, these conversations are delicious...not to mention reunions.

Oh, and I am starting MS1, almost 32 years old. It's less of a big deal, from my perspective, because advances in medicine and improvements in lifestyle will mean that we will likely live much longer than people are projected to live today. Even if I struggle, at least I chased my dream to the end. That has a quality all its own. I've known too many people who gave up on their dreams and pined for the rest of their lives.

 

[MNresident]

1. First know what you want to with your life (paint a bigger picture). EX...Job, marry great guy/lady, car, house, boat????

2. Make small goals to help you get there. EX...doctor? then shadow, volunteer...surround yourself with those aspects on a frequent basis to keep you excited and "updated".

3. Flows with number 2, find friends with similar ideas...buddy up.

just IMO...

 

[Appless]

Well when say my mom starts giving me crap about med school like you, i tell her if she doesnt be quiet im going to not let her see her grandson next weekend!!! then she shuts up!. Seriously though I used to get that a lot especially since i have a son they would always ask why would i sacrifice my time with him to pursue this...in the end i just stopped listenting and I stay motivated just by knowing i finally found something in my life i love and am interested in. Also when I look at my son i realize that while it may be hard now, ill be able to take care of him eventually and he wont have to grow up like I did with absoutely nothing always struggling in poverty.

 

[Nasrudin]

Question to non-traditional students: How do you stay motivated?

Oh boy. You wanna know. Here goes.

First. Wake and bake. Second. Full-body coconut oil rub down. The junk, between the toes, whole deal. A couple of yoga poses. A demonstration of superior flexibility. In case you know, somebody's you know...you gotta think about how you market yourself.

Then I go the mirror. And tell myself.....I am the most delicious man walking this earth...at this time....right now. Delicious. "Dr. Delicious." "Paging Dr. Delicious" "Dr Delicious to ICU stat"

And I just go on like that for like maybe 2 or 3 hours or so. Depending.

 

[2008orbust]

How about this:

You tell your wife you want to be a doctor. (You will be 38 when you graduate.)

She sums up the speech you just made with "so, you want to quit your job and not get another one for ten years?"

She came around quickly and has been SUPER supportive and I know I could not be doing this without her.

MOTIVATION:
*Control the information--only tell those that will be your cheerleaders. The rest do not have to know.
*My kids see me working my butt off to excel in medschool and I believe that it's a great example for them.
*My wife points out to the kids and anyone else that will listen that she's proud at how hard I am working to reach my dream.
*Assume haters are jealous.

 

[EricH]

Oh boy. You wanna know. Here goes.

First. Wake and bake. Second. Full-body coconut oil rub down. The junk, between the toes, whole deal. A couple of yoga poses. A demonstration of superior flexibility. In case you know, somebody's you know...you gotta think about how you market yourself.

Then I go the mirror. And tell myself.....I am the most delicious man walking this earth...at this time....right now. Delicious. "Dr. Delicious." "Paging Dr. Delicious" "Dr Delicious to ICU stat"

And I just go on like that for like maybe 2 or 3 hours or so. Depending.

Holy crap

 

[EricH]

*My kids see me working my butt off to excel in medschool and I believe that it's a great example for them.

I hadn't thought of this one. Sweet, I have a brand new motivator to stick under my cap.

 

[njbmd]

I actually like what I do. This goes a long way in terms of motivation. If you think of the journey as a chore, it will be. You are going to be whatever age 40, 50 etc so why spend your time doing something that outsiders can affect your motivation for? Life is too short and there are certainly other things that you can do with your life if you seek the approval of others. If you don't love learning new things and mastery of your studies, then you won't like medicine and it definitely won't like you.

 

[jinx520]

Oh boy. You wanna know. Here goes.

First. Wake and bake. Second. Full-body coconut oil rub down. The junk, between the toes, whole deal. A couple of yoga poses. A demonstration of superior flexibility. In case you know, somebody's you know...you gotta think about how you market yourself.

Then I go the mirror. And tell myself.....I am the most delicious man walking this earth...at this time....right now. Delicious. "Dr. Delicious." "Paging Dr. Delicious" "Dr Delicious to ICU stat"

And I just go on like that for like maybe 2 or 3 hours or so. Depending.

Nas, you make me laugh! And with a full-body coconut oil rubdown, you'd certainly smell delicious. Let's just hope for the sake of your patients and your colleages, you don't look like Ron Jeremy. One hot-oiled Cal Jammer, coming right up! Eeww, gross!

Back to the OP. For me, it's a combination of visualizing the big picture and tunnel vision. When I start to get discouraged, I allow myself a brief episode of daydreaming about how my life will be when I'm done with school/training. When I'm in a sucky moment of drudgery, I focus only on doing what I need to do immediately to get the job done. I also meditate/pray and try to fit in some exercise here and there.

 

[chocolaterie]

I'm not too far behind you I'll be 30/31 when I get out of med school. What you're expressing is exactly why I have only told a handful of people. I have a good job in HR for a local college and in a time when my friends/family are being laid off, I know they'd give me the one eye look if I were to tell them. The only person in my immediate family that I have told was my younger brother - his response - do you know how many MORE years you'll be in school? do you know how much med school costs? proceeded with raised eyebrow.

Sometimes I feel like it's easier for people to be negative than support you, because everyone knows that med school is tough.
I would recommend not bringing it up. I find this is the simplest solution. Like batteries said, surprise them. "Do just once what others say you can't do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again" - James Cook. Yes, I actually have a list of 8 quotes tacked to my office wall. When I need encouragement, I just read them. Also, is there anyone who gives you inspiration? If you do, I would put their picture next to the quotes. It's the little reminders that keep me going.

 

[Lil Mick]

I'll be 33, too (starting next fall). What was your motivation for a career switch? For me, my motivation (teacher-- 1 student shot in a drug-related crime and 1 overdosed before my class) gave me the determination to wade through all the necessary steps to start a new career. Make sure your family supports your decision. I needed to lean on them many times while trying to juggle a job, family, and going back to school.

 

[ThinkTooMuch]

While flying on an Airline...

Flight Attendant: HELP THIS MAN IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK IS THERE A DOCTOR ON BOARD!????


Me: Everyone Stand Clear, I am a Doctor.

 

[Conashaugh]

Becoming a millionaire

 

[dragonfly99]

If someone is really having a heart attack on a plane, there won't be much you can do (doctor or not) other than ask the pilot to land the plane, and give the person some aspirin, if anyone has some.

 

[EricH]

If someone is really having a heart attack on a plane, there won't be much you can do (doctor or not) other than ask the pilot to land the plane, and give the person some aspirin, if anyone has some.

I would think that they would have a basic med kit on the plane, no?

 

[janalex]

Question to non-traditional students: How do you stay motivated?

Currently, my life plans mean that I won't be out of medical school until I'm 33. And while sometimes I am motivated and excited, other times I just wake up scared and wonder if I should just give up and try to be satisfied with what I have. I worry that I'll go through all this effort and get rejected. I worry that even if I don't get rejected, I'll be so old that I just become one of those people who never leave school.

It doesn't help that my family gives me an almost daily assault asking why I am thinking of giving up a good job at the UN to pursue medical school. Home for Easter, I just got a 2 hour lecture from my mother. My sister goes on and on about how I'll spend half my life in school, how I just can't accept what I have, etc. My dad repeats the "half your life in school" thing, and they all add that I better not come to them for money.

How do you all keep motivated at the start of this long journey, especially if friends and family unanimously all just discourage you?

I completely can relate with you and will be similar in age with you also. Best advice I can give would be that you have to follow your goals, desires, and aspirations, and not others. If you listened to everyone elses comments, then each person is gonna pull you in a separate direction. I have a great job, with great pay, and excellent benefits and security. When I told one friend I was considering leaving for more school, he asked if I was crazy to leave such a good job only to go thru more years of education, more stress, and responsibilty.

However I tend to find that if you look at their lives, the ones that are negative towards you are often dissatisfied with their careers or some aspect of their life. To go into medicine is a difficult path, but you have to block out all their negativity if you truely want this....focus on the inital reason why you decided to pursue medicine, and that should help motivate you.

My family is also very discouraging against me going to more school, however dont stress about trying to change their own ideas-thats beyond your control, and you shouldnt waste your time worrying over it. Instead focus on you and doing well.....they will see you are committed and dedicated, and MAY eventually support your decision. As far as money, I dont know if they supported you in school, when you were younger, but when my father starts bringing up finances...I remind him I put myself thru college.....and that I didn't ask for help back then...that shuts him up real fast.

 

[doctor712]

The way I stay motivated is by getting into the OR! All I need to do is see what I'll be doing in a few years and my battery gets recharged. When you love it, it's real easy.

But I get your question, during those moments when life is hard, and everything seems too insurmountable...I say, still, get into the OR. Decompress, find something ELSE that you love, reading, a movie, tennis, beach, and escape there. Gives you a nice perspective. Look at old photo albums of the kids, your favorite TV show, exercise. You'd be surprised how these things help.

GOOD LUCK,
D712

 

[sumstorm]

For your folks, as long as your choices don't affect them (ie you don't have to move in with them, they don't have to pay your bills) then they don't get a say, same with the sister. Sit each one down for a one-on-one chat. Explain that you are doing this for YOURSELF and that you are determined to do it whether or not they approve of it or like it. Tell them that trying to discourage you from doing this is only discouraging you from sharing your life with them; it makes you not want to be around the negativity. Finally, tell them this will be the last discussion about it unless they want to have a positive attitude towards it.

Then, you have to either ignore them whenever they bring the subject up (just change the subject, or even say 'not discussing it' and bring up a relevant topic for conversation) or leave when it starts. By leave, I don't mean you have to storm out. A simple 'while you all are covering this topic, I am heading out to the deck. when you get to another topic, let me know.' Don't reinforce the negativity by even trying to participate in the conversation. If they find themselves talking to the wall every time, eventually they will give up.

I agree with others...I will be 34 when I graduate, but I will also be 34 if I don't attend school. Simple as that.

On a more practical level, I try to see how what I am doing relates to my eventual career. That generally keeps me motivated.

 

[femmes07]

SELF MOTIVATION... you need to weigh things up... you don't need to listen to what others might say... think of yourself, think about your future, and of course do you think you can finish this without even trying how to be in med school? it's really hard but if you think positive that you can do it, and if you'll just study hard, why not? Life is not a matter of choice, it's indeed a matter of what we choose... so be careful of what you choose, it is better if you think deeply about it... well, it doesn't matter if you fail, at least you have tried it, then you'll learn...

 

[AllThatIsGreen]

My family is very unsupportive since I gave up a six figure salary and been doing a bunch of random gigs, shadowing, volunteer work, odd jobs to get into med school as I take my pre-reqs. I hear the same lecture all the time: "You'll be old.. spend your whole life studying.. when are you having kids/married.. blah blah blah". In the end, it's about your happiness. Not to sound cruel, but you won't be living with your parents 10-15 (maybe 20) years from now. You can either be 40-50 dreaming of applying to medical school at an earlier age, or buck up and do it when you want to!

I have found the most support by associating and being friends with other postbaccs and career changers. Only when you have other people in your situation will you feel less miserable and more motivated... i love my girlfriend but she can't understand the challenges of being a postbacc. I have found myself being better friends with postbaccs since they understand the constant mental pressure of studying for each and every quiz, exam, paper, etc. (This is the reason why med schools love postbaccs - we work much harder for our grades and we're way more motivated than most undergrads).

 

[InHIShand]

I am in a similar situation as you. So, instead of getting told by everyone that I am too old, will be a waste of time, etc. I just shared my thoughts with my SO, and the rest can wait to hear from me once I am a MS-1 (Godwilling). BTW, I am 29, so no matter how you look at it, we are aging. I want to be a doctor, or die trying to become one, not giving up because everyone else thinks they know what's best for me.

Good Luck!

 

[ivorywhisper]

Wow, I thought I was the only one who was nervous about coming out and telling my parents,lol......and I don't even live with them, Im married so the fact that I'll be in school for an extra 8 years shouldn't even affect them but Im still dreading it! (that's if I get accepted!)

My husband is very supportive but then he is very easy going as well . When I told him I wanted to go to med school and how much time it would take, he said "so? you have to do what you want to do. And mid thirties is NOT old!".......(and neither is late 40's!!). Anyway, my plan about my parents is to not say anything until I have been accepted and all set and ready to go! I don't want any jinxes or anything of the sort!

 

[Dr Trip]

Oh boy. You wanna know. Here goes.

First. Wake and bake. Second. Full-body coconut oil rub down. The junk, between the toes, whole deal. A couple of yoga poses. A demonstration of superior flexibility. In case you know, somebody's you know...you gotta think about how you market yourself.

Then I go the mirror. And tell myself.....I am the most delicious man walking this earth...at this time....right now. Delicious. "Dr. Delicious." "Paging Dr. Delicious" "Dr Delicious to ICU stat"

And I just go on like that for like maybe 2 or 3 hours or so. Depending.

 

[EkramVahsedi86]

Any non-trad who wants motivation, just pm me.

 

[ThinkTooMuch]

by imagining how I would feel if 10 years from now I was in the same social and financial situation as I am now....Id rather be dead!

 

[GH253]

dude.. F your family. n*ggas be hatin

 

[CogitoA1]

Once you are IN medical school, your family's attitude will change. They will become supportive.

It's your life and it's your call. You're undertaking a huge commitment, which will demand more of your energy, time, and discipline, than most jobs will. When they're in your shoes, then they can make the call. In the meantime, thank them for the advice, explain, calmly, why you disagree, and move on to other things. If you cannot explain to them, calmly, in a manner that a reasonable person would find persuasive, then frankly you haven't done enough research or given this enough thought.

When someone gripes about you spending half your life in school, ask them what their point is. Do they think you're hiding from hard work? Nothing easy about medical school. Do they think you're not taking your future seriously? Everything about this is future-oriented. Explain to your dad that you understand that he wants you to succeed. Explain why you think this is the best route to that success. The number of years you've previously spent in school is, frankly, irrelevant. It's what economists call a sunk cost. You can't change the number of years you've spent in school. The proper way to assess this is to look at the years going forward.

Imagine if a CEO at a major car company said "Damn, you know we've spent the last 40 years building up these brands. We can't just abandon them." But the brands are losing money, and the best move for the future would be to abandon them since they're going to keep losing money, especially compared to more attractive investments. Pretty stupid right? How about the trader who thinks to himself "I've been invested in this stock for 2 years now, and I've lost 30%; I can't give it up now!" Also pretty stupid. Traders call that getting married to your trade; it prevents you from making the right call given likely future costs and benefits.

Okay? So the question is what is the best move for the years ahead. Those CEOs and traders are now looking for other work. Maybe you'll run into one at medical school.

Now, to yourself, understand this: you get one life. You know yourself better than anyone else. You've done the research into this choice. Your father hasn't. Your sister hasn't. Your mother hasn't. You have. If you don't have confidence in your choice, do more research, and then decide. If you've done enough research, and you've made your call, then that's that. If they're not on board for this one, so be it. They'll get on board eventually.

You're going to be 33 one day, God willing, no matter what. You can either be celebrating a new promotion at the UN, or you can be graduating from medical school.

It sounds like your family's approval is important to you. That's good. Their approval isn't a good substitute for your judgment though. If it starts to bother you, envision their faces as you graduate. Okay? Now, if you've got work to do, close this window and get back to it. Self-doubt is fine in moderation, and it's had its moment. Get up and move.

Good luck.

 

[j-med]

Hi all- It is motivating to see all the comments here. Thanks for the postings.

I have the same concerns when it comes to telling friends. Because they do question your motives and decision.

But I think it's hard not to tell anyone because I think you still need some emotional support from your friends, don't you?

For those of you who chose to withhold the information from your friends and colleagues, still, how many people did you tell?



I do not want anyone but my closest friends to know, but because of one or two conversations at one group trip, I realized actually more people now know I'm considering. I dont care if they know, except that I dont particularly enjoy the questions and the eye I get from them. Plus, I haven't even tell my research PI, and I hope the news, when the time comes, come from me not others. At this stage, is there ways to mend the situation with those not so-close friends who happened to have found out? Perhaps just brush it off and say it's a thought but nothing decided yet, or?

 

[Micahfeld]

How about this:

You tell your wife you want to be a doctor. (You will be 38 when you graduate.)

She sums up the speech you just made with "so, you want to quit your job and not get another one for ten years?"

She came around quickly and has been SUPER supportive and I know I could not be doing this without her.

MOTIVATION:
*Control the information--only tell those that will be your cheerleaders. The rest do not have to know.
*My kids see me working my butt off to excel in medschool and I believe that it's a great example for them.
*My wife points out to the kids and anyone else that will listen that she's proud at how hard I am working to reach my dream.
*Assume haters are jealous.

Good advice! I've done my best to avoid the nay-sayers, and I've even turned a few of them into believers by doing what they said couldn't be done.

Success is the best motivator for me, so I try to find ways to motivate myself with intermediate goals that are actionable. It may be something as simple as getting my transcripts in or some other task, but the key is tracking and seeing the progress towards the goal.

 

[Tasha11]

Its trusting someone with your hearts desire because you can't decipher the haters from the believers.What keeps me going is knowing that one day I'll have the freedom to make decisions that will affect change that I can see. That helps me fight my battles on the way to the war of becoming a doctor.