How does this come off to a medical student?

[lifeguard2014]

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I have a few questions on components of my personal statement. I feel that my essay is complete, and I am no longer actively adding to it, but someone brought a few interesting points up when reading my essay, and I was wondering if anyone could take a look, and let me know what they think.

 

[lifeguard2014]

If your not planning to add to it then what is the purpose of having reviewed

I meant add content, as in I am no longer adding full paragraphs or scrapping the essay and starting from scratch. I am happy to continue to make corrections, and slight changes.