How Involved are you Parents in your MCAT / pre-med process?

[Blueprint MCAT Tutor]

Just a quick question, mostly out of curiosity: how involved are your parents in your MCAT / pre-med process?

I ask because as a test-prep professional I get *a lot* of parents arranging everything for their kids, but I wonder if I'm seeing a really unrepresentative sample (only the kinds of people who can afford to spend lots of cash on tutoring and who take the time to seek out professional guidance).

It's also kind of weird to me, since I'm from a generation where the idea of having your parents involved in the MCAT process at all would've been mortifyingly embarrassing. I get that things have changed, and I'm curious to hear from college-age folks on a pre-professional path what you think about this trend of parents being more directly involved in organizing the lives of their adult children. If not your parents, are your friends parents really involved? And what do you think?

(mods, if this topic is perhaps a bit too off-topic for the MCAT discussions thread, I'm happy to delete it and move it elsewhere)

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[1TB4RKSB4CK]

All my MCAT material and test registration came from my stipend from the summer research program. However, since I do not have a job, they are willing to pay for my AMCAS application process, provided that I take up a summer job right before I (hopefully) matriculate to pay them back.

 

[docemmettbrown]

I had to pay for my prep books and will also have to pay for the application process. My mom does encourage me to study and try my hardest but I pay for the books.

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[CastleG8]

I have paid for all my prep materials from my GI Bill benefits and a savings account. I am older and my parents are high school dropouts who have absolutely no clue about higher education. I do everything myself, but I do have emotional support from siblings. I take all the help I can get.

 

[23premes]

I do everything myself. Parents haven't done anything for me since HS


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[Czarcasm]

I have paid for all my prep materials from my GI Bill benefits and a savings account. I am older and my parents are high school dropouts who have absolutely no clue about higher education. I do everything myself, but I do have emotional support from siblings. I take all the help I can get.

 

[gettheleadout]

I get that things have changed, and I'm curious to hear from college-age folks on a pre-professional path what you think about this trend of parents being more directly involved in organizing the lives of their adult children. If not your parents, are your friends parents really involved? And what do you think?

I think this is unusual. I don't know of anyone whose parents are that directly involved in their pursuit of med school.

Personally, my parents just trusted me to plan everything out in order to meet my goals as far as the MCAT.

 

[gnarledout]

My mom doesn't even know what the MCAT is. She could never pronounce "molecular" in molecular biology and she always kept asking "what's your school called again? San Diego University?" "No mom, its University California San Diego." She has no education outside of high school and cosmetology school and just knows that one day her son is going to be a doctor and reminds me of how much I owe her every time I talk to her. I am her ticket to the good life. Sigh.

I've been on my own since 17 and have paid for everything I've ever had since 17 and have had no financial assistance from my mom. I don't have a father.

 

[NervousNerd]

My parents are actually not very supportive. They don't think I can make it. Hence I've had to front for everything MCAT related as well as study with nagging.

 

[darklabel]

I think this is unusual. I don't know of anyone whose parents are that directly involved in their pursuit of med school.

Personally, my parents just trusted me to plan everything out in order to meet my goals as far as the MCAT.

+1, aside from moral support and asking about the process they haven't been involved at all. I plan and pay for everything (flying, interviews, etc) and they just hope that I get in somewhere.

It might also be an education gap? Both my parents never went to college so they don't have a clue about this process or the level of difficulty so they can't really have an opinion (at least a well informed one). I do find it kind of sad though that some kids get their parents to do everything. It's good to be involved and give in their 2 cents, but sometimes kids have to learn to take initiative in this process or they're going to end up failing.

 

[docemmettbrown]

Yea see I think it is pretty much the same for first generation college students

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[gettheleadout]

+1, aside from moral support and asking about the process they haven't been involved at all. I plan and pay for everything (flying, interviews, etc) and they just hope that I get in somewhere.

It might also be an education gap? Both my parents never went to college so they don't have a clue about this process or the level of difficulty so they can't really have an opinion (at least a well informed one). I do find it kind of sad though that some kids get their parents to do everything. It's good to be involved and give in their 2 cents, but sometimes kids have to learn to take initiative in this process or they're going to end up failing.

It's funny, both of my parents have doctorates, and both actually understand the process pretty well, I think they're just confident I can take care of business and don't worry about me anymore lol

 

[plumhill]

Especially after reading some of the posts on this thread, I am SO fortunate that my parents are willing to support me financially to prepare for the MCAT. We've been able to split the cost on a lot of materials and a prep course, and when it's time for me to apply, they've agreed to try and cover for whatever costs my jobs and previous savings don't cover.

That being said, they haven't gone as far as to actually arrange things for me. Even in high school when I was prepping for the ACT, I always took the initiative in finding the right way to prepare and seeking out the most effective (cost-wise and results-wise) resources for me. It's weird to me that as 20-somethings, kids still have their parents holding their hand in this way.

 

[rolliespring]

I'm pretty sure the majority of parents have no idea about the application process or the MCAT. I just told my mom it's something like the SATs for med school but it's harder.
Mom: Oh, like the SATs? I'm sure you'll get 700+ on each subject
Anyways I'm happy she's always supportive, both financially and emotionally (well, not all the time ). She texted me when MCAT books arrived at home during finals week. Best mom and strongest woman ever. Pretty much dedicated her life to me and my brother after she got divorced with my dad. All my relatives aren't in the US so it must have been hard for her to take care of two kids on her own (dad basically disappeared). I was 9 back then and we're an immigrant family.
People need to appreciate what their parents are doing for them.

 

[BerkReviewTeach]

Rolliespring, thank you so much for posting that. This thread will take a different tact because of your heartfelt words.

Also being on the side of the fence as the OP, I get where his question is coming from. It's a very small percentage of students that have parents involved in the process, but the ones that do often have over-the-top helicopter parents. I had to ask a parent to not stay in the class before, which is incredibly awkward when you're 24 years old, but they kept interrupting lecture. It's only happened once thankfully.

I'm very impressed by what I read here in terms of commitment and self-support. I never thought it'd be such a large percentage that are self-supported. But I tend to think that anyone who gets help from their parents might be hesitant to add to this thread at this point. My guess is that there are more students in prep courses who are getting the costs covered by their family than there are people paying their own way. At least that's probably true for undergrads at least.

 

[Bear Grylls]

My parents are supportive and helped pay for things, but I worked all the logistics through. They don't know anything about the process. Love 'em though!

 

[WalSlave]

My mom (father isn't around) doesn't pay for anything that has to do with med school. I haven't ever asked her to, either. I actually find it kind of weird that a 23+ year old would have their parents shelling out thousands to apply to any sort of graduate program. What really shocks me is that when I worked at the campus pharmacy, parents would call in their kid's prescriptions. I even had one student pull out her car insurance card once when I asked her for her insurance card. I find the majority of college students aren't independent from their parents at all. Could just be my area though.

 

[blahblahblagh]

My parents are not financially involved with my MCAT prep and won't be for the application process, but they are incredibly emotionally involved with literally all of it (even though they're not knowledgeable about the process). It's kind of hard to deal with tbh!

 

[QofQuimica]

I was working for Kaplan and so didn't need any help to afford my MCAT prep, but my family would have helped me as much as they could if I had needed it.

I'm going to argue against the negative tone of the posts here. While I'll readily grant that there is such a thing as too much of a good thing, it's also a fact that you could buy one heck of a nice mansion in my part of the country (South) for as much money as the premed, app, and med school processes combined cost. Paying your own way through it all out-of-pocket is going to be difficult to impossible for your average applicant. And from the other side, the med school financial aid offices sure consider your education to be an investment by your entire family. There's also an awful lot to be said for not starting out your life as a new physician with six figure debt if you don't have to. So if your family is willing to help you with any part of this process and able to afford it, thank them profusely and accept the help. Accept their help as a non-interest loan if accepting it as a gift hurts your pride too much.

As for the OP's point, well, dealing with annoying family members of patients is part and parcel of being a physician. It would definitely be worthwhile to develop productive tactics for dealing with it now. And analogously, speaking as a physician, the neglected children and elderly patients whose families have abandoned them sadden me a lot more than the overly involved obnoxious families annoy me.

 

[DrStraggler]

My mom doesn't even know what the MCAT is. She could never pronounce "molecular" in molecular biology and she always kept asking "what's your school called again? San Diego University?" "No mom, its University California San Diego." She has no education outside of high school and cosmetology school and just knows that one day her son is going to be a doctor and reminds me of how much I owe her every time I talk to her. I am her ticket to the good life. Sigh.

I've been on my own since 17 and have paid for everything I've ever had since 17 and have had no financial assistance from my mom. I don't have a father.

Goodness...is it just me or did this make the hair on your neck stand up? Worst internet cringe I've had in a while. I'm on my own too, work two jobs, paying for things blah blah basically like majority of students out there.

And, my parents are foreigners, don't really understand everything I'm doing but heck I owe them my everything and dream of the day that I'll be able to pay them back. Their support of my dream means more than if I had some detached rich parents who threw money at me.

I'm not trying to judge you I swear! I'm not sure of you're relationship with your parent but doubting the intelligence of the people that gave you life...I don't know man. Haha, best of luck though.

 

[bcurtis]

My mom is on disability so she can't really help much,;however she supports me more than anyone else. She is one of the many reasons I want to become a doctor. My dad has never been around, and I live with my grandparents who provide financial assistance when needed. My grandma, through much teaching from myself, understands the application process and supports me/ asks questions. So really the only involvement my family has is financially, not much more than that other than support which should be present anyways.

 

[TXKnight]

I do everything myself. Parents haven't done anything for me since HS


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Same here. I've paid/done everything since HS

 

[lysine9740]

My parents kept yelling at me that I had to take better care of myself, and that I shouldn't be studying all the time... In their lifetimes, they have never heard of needing to study so much for any one thing. So they kept bugging me about it, so all in all maybe a negative effect, if any.

 

[SolarPower]

I'm fortunate enough to have supportive parents. They never pushed me into medicine, but do support me now and encourage me when I need it. Financially the only thing they've paid for since high school is my final year and a half of undergrad, (which is still a lot of money). Other than that, I've paid for everything involved with my education and otherwise.

I do find it strange that parents are heavily involved in helping their kids get into med school, (like signing them up for prep courses and such). None of my premed friends or friends currently in med school had their parents planning anything for them.

 

[Blueprint MCAT Tutor]

As for the OP's point, well, dealing with annoying family members of patients is part and parcel of being a physician. It would definitely be worthwhile to develop productive tactics for dealing with it now.

I've gotta reply to that one thing: nowhere in my original post did I say anything about being annoying. Maybe you're letting some of the negative tone of some replies color your interpretation of my original question.

I never said (and in fact do not believe) that having parents call me to arrange the prep for their kids is annoying. It's the norm these days. If my reaction has any emotional content to it at all, it's a vague twinge of jealousy since I never had that kind of support from my own folks. They took more of an adversarial approach to parenting: "beat the kid up to toughen 'em up, that'll grow 'em up good".

It is kind of weird to me, and just think it always will be (in the way that facebook will always be kind of weird to Grandma) just b/c I'm from a different generation where that never happened.

 

[QofQuimica]

I've gotta reply to that one thing: nowhere in my original post did I say anything about being annoying. Maybe you're letting some of the negative tone of some replies color your interpretation of my original question.

I never said (and in fact do not believe) that having parents call me to arrange the prep for their kids is annoying. It's the norm these days. If my reaction has any emotional content to it at all, it's a vague twinge of jealousy since I never had that kind of support from my own folks. They took more of an adversarial approach to parenting: "beat the kid up to toughen 'em up, that'll grow 'em up good".

It is kind of weird to me, and just think it always will be (in the way that facebook will always be kind of weird to Grandma) just b/c I'm from a different generation where that never happened.

I wasn't specifically responding to your post at all. And even if you did find some of the families of your students' families annoying (like the parent BRT had to throw out of his classroom), that would be a normal and understandable reaction. People are difficult to deal with sometimes, even people with good intentions.

Looks like you graduated college in 1999; if so, I'm a couple years older than you are. And this kind of parental involvement doesn't seem weird to me. It didn't happen to you, so it seems weird. It happened to some extent to me and to people I knew. (Not test prep classes specifically; we didn't really have those in the late 80s/early 90s when I was in HS). I'll wager that to many people from other cultures and backgrounds where family is typically more involved and interdependent than the American ideal of rugged individualism, it seems normal. I can tell you that what seems "weird" to me is parents who have no interest in their kids' futures. (Again, please don't misconstrue this to be specifically referring to you or your parents.)

 

[Temerit]

I actually find it kind of weird that a 23+ year old would have their parents shelling out thousands to apply to any sort of graduate program.

My parents paid for my MCAT prep books, the AAMC practice tests, and the fee for the test itself. I intentionally told them I did not want to take a class because I knew that I had enough drive and motivation to self-study on my own and I didn't want to waste any money I could avoid spending. Like others have said when it comes to logistics for classes in school and studying for something like the MCAT, my parents haven't been involved at all since high school. Making this into a response to WalSlave, I'm also only 20 years old and took the MCAT four months ago and I'll only be 21 when applying. My parents will assist me financially in applying to schools as well. I work a part time job at school and have for a year and a half now (I also worked for 2.5 years at the end of high school and summers before and after my freshman year of college, part-time during school and full-time during summers) and there's no way I could pay for all the MCAT stuff, application fees and interview flights on top of my already absurdly high rent, bills, and food.

They see it as what it is, a high-yield investment in my future and as long as I'm doing very well in school, working, and being involved on and off campus they are more than happy to support me financially in my pursuit of medical school.

 

[darklabel]

My parents paid for my MCAT prep books, the AAMC practice tests, and the fee for the test itself. I intentionally told them I did not want to take a class because I knew that I had enough drive and motivation to self-study on my own and I didn't want to waste any money I could avoid spending. Like others have said when it comes to logistics for classes in school and studying for something like the MCAT, my parents haven't been involved at all since high school. Making this into a response to WalSlave, I'm also only 20 years old and took the MCAT four months ago and I'll only be 21 when applying. My parents will assist me financially in applying to schools as well. I work a part time job at school and have for a year and a half now (I also worked for 2.5 years at the end of high school and summers before and after my freshman year of college, part-time during school and full-time during summers) and there's no way I could pay for all the MCAT stuff, application fees and interview flights on top of my already absurdly high rent, bills, and food.

They see it as what it is, a high-yield investment in my future and as long as I'm doing very well in school, working, and being involved on and off campus they are more than happy to support me financially in my pursuit of medical school.

That is usually the norm. There is some sort of unnecessary stigma with a 22+ year old still having his/her parents paying for the majority of the application cycle on these forums. Heck, even though FAP has a sort of liberal definition of poor (300% of the poverty line), the majority of applicants still do not fit the bill and most applicants have parents who are making 100k (it was in an AAMC study, don't feel like linking it, but Google it if you're curious). I wish my parents could help out and I didn't have to open a credit card or work a sh*ty job just to pay for the application process, but I accept it and move on. I don't hate on anyone who's parents have the means to help them financially and usually just have a twinge of jealousy since their application cycle has one less component to worry about, debt.

Most applicants are like yourself and in fact even better off since their parents can foot the bill for almost anything and they don't have to work any sort of job, but won't ever post about it on SDN. If they don't get in the first time, then they can easily go through a second cycle. I truthfully went in "all or none" and if I didn't get in the first time, then I probably wouldn't be able to afford another go around for a while.

 

[Temerit]

Yeah, from a social justice perspective it's absolutely amazing to me that the AAMC allows the application process to remain as obscenely cost-prohibitive as it is. It's very unfortunate. I have a ton of respect for people in your position darklabel, best of luck!

 

[neekzg]

Pretty much same situation as Temerit. My parents aren't super well off or anything, but they've been able to give me anything that I've ever needed and much more. They're happy to pay for whatever I need for school or medical school application stuff, even if we're somewhat tight on money. I've been trying to keep costs to a minimum and have decided to self-study even though my parents were willing to pay for a course. I am grateful for all their support and work my hardest to make the most of their investment, and I also try to educate them as much as possible on all the different things I'm doing for my application.

 

[WalSlave]

I'm also only 20 years old and took the MCAT four months ago and I'll only be 21 when applying.

This might just be me, but I see a world of difference between 20 and 23+, but that is probably because I have always been directly involved in filing my FAFSA and so on. At the age of 20, the government still takes into account all of your parents income for pell grant/federal loan purposes, so I think it is perfectly normal for a 20 year old to be getting help from their parents financially (for school). Once you reach that age of 24, however, you are considered independent of your parent's income, which is where I got the 23+ number. I should have probably put 24+.

But honestly, if you have parents who are willing to invest in your future in the way of application fees/MCAT prep/whatever, then that is awesome, no matter your age. I only said it was "weird" to see a 24 year old having their stuff all paid for because in my mind, someone at that age should at least have a semblance of financial independence. That doesn't mean it's wrong or bad or anything. That is just how I was raised and that is my own reality, so yeah, it's weird to me. I would never, however, expect a 20 year old to navigate the finances of applying all by themselves. Best of luck!

 

[EMDO2018]

Not involved at all.

 

[1TB4RKSB4CK]

Yeah, unless people are embarrassed over a forum to admit, or really super hard working, most students (traditional) would have trouble paying directly out of pocket (with his own earned money) for his classes, his prep material, and all his AAMC applications, travel expenses, secondaries blah blah.
I got to a private school so naturally, even with a bunch of scholarships, I still have to pay a bit out of pocket. I am ever so grateful for my father who dedicated his to helping his sons(I'm a twin) achieve their dreams after we lost our Mom. He actually kind of discouraged me in getting a job in fear that my grades will suffer due to me taking heavy courseloads year round. After I received a nice stipend from my summer internship, I paid for all my MCAT material, the money that is left over will go to my application fees. Travel costs is another story. While my father doesn't really have much of an idea of the grueling process of getting into med school, the most valuable support, over the little monetary support he provides, is his motivation for me to succeed in the career I want to enter.