How many married women who kept their last name or hyphenated..

[EMTLizzy]

I made a deal with my BF that when I get a ring, he gets an LCD screen TV.


I think he'll like that more than if I got him a diamond ring.

I consider myself to be a pretty non-traditional woman. Maybe not a feminist. I just do my own thing and don't let people stand in my way.

I plan to keep my last name when we get married, have a career, have my own finances etc. It's important to him to do the whole proposal with a ring and down on one knee thing. I don't demand it, but I do think it's sweet.

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[pillowhead]

show me a relationship between a man and a woman where the woman buys the man a ring that is half a year's income for her, and where the guy chooses everything that goes into the registry, and where the guy is the one who throws the wedding showers, and i'll eat my words. but i have yet to see ONE example of this, let alone see it about half the time. what's your explanation for why the tradition is the way it is?

Show me a man who wants a ring that is worth half a year's income and wants a ton of wedding showers. I've never met one, although I'm sure one might exist. You're acting as if women are denying men all these wonderful things that little boys have been dreaming of their whole lives. If that's what a woman wants and her fiance wants to provide that, what's the problem? And then if the husband wants to spend all day Sunday sitting in front of his 50 inch TV watching football and drinking beer and the wife is happy doing something else, what's the problem? Men and women stereotypically have different ideas about what's fun. And that might require some sacrifice from the other partner sometimes, but that's what relationship is about.

 

[ice_23]

For those women wishing to retain their last names during marriage, whose name do you personally wish for the child to get (unless you've found some dude to change his name to yours)? And if you wish for a hyphenated name, whose name goes first in the hyphen?

Also, what about if you and your husband (for argument's sake) both have hyphenated names? Would you introduce a multiple hyphen last name to your child?

-Ice

 

[doc05]

you might as well keep your maiden names. That will simplify things when you get divorced.

 

[Ypo.]

you might as well keep your maiden names. That will simplify things when you get divorced.

not 'when', 'if'


Yet another cynical mind.

 

[EMTLizzy]

For those women wishing to retain their last names during marriage, whose name do you personally wish for the child to get

His. We talked about this when I said I planned to keep my last name.

My last name could also be a first name...so that's a possibility. Or a middle name.

The more I get to know is psycho mother, the more I'm glad I will never be Mrs. X like she is. ::shudder:: The more I can distance myself from her the better.

 

[medstyle]

omigod!! it's never ever occurred to me before that women dress sexily to attract men! wow, thanks for opening up my eyes...apparently I've been living in a world of lies my whole life!

SOME women dress to reveal skin because they think that men will only be attracted to them if they do so. SOME women dress to reveal skin because that's just what they see other women do (esp women plastered on magazine covers) and want to fit in. SOME women dress to reveal skin because they think they're all that. You know, women aren't like homogenous creature that have a unified mind that all do the same thing for the same reason. When have I ever said NO woman has EVER dressed revealingly to attract a guy? Of course many do! But the evolutionary biology crap that people try to throw around to justify the way men and women treat each other is bull. (and I have taken evolutionary biology courses in college. I absolutely believe in evolution, but too many times people have used "evolutionary psychology" theories to justify immoral behavior...eugenics anyone?) I don't deny there's something to it, but as intelligent human beings with large forebrains and morals, we don't blindly obey our evolutionary instincts to screw every attractive person in sight. people can be attracted to others because of their minds, too. Relationships would never last if people weren't.

BTW, SOME guys where tight pants too. I do, to show off my nuts and so you can see I am in shape. I dress like that solely to attract women.

If your comfortable with your wife not changing her name, that's cool. But I really think tje "independance" that comes with that takes away from relationships and probably is the reason most marriages end in divorce. Independance is good, but so is dependancy. I think the people who protect themselves so much are the ones who are the worst at marriage. I don't get why so many intelligent women on this site are looking for a marriage where they don't have to comprimise anything. When a man gets married, he loses the right going out, bang other chicks, and basically get to keep his girlfriends in the 18-30 year old range while he proceeds to turn into an out of shape fart. Women and men get a hell of a lot in a marriage, but men are definately the ones that lose more when they are no longer single. Especially since the fact is that they are losing their looks from the moment they hit 18 but guys are more marketable as age increases.

But hey, if you want a "man" that raises ur babies, takes ur last name because its "nicer", and stays at home so you can sling your co#k at work, hope you're happy. I think its fun to say now, but the reality is that most women dont find joy in such a relationship, and i think those that due find themselves divorced after a few years.

 

[mancreatedgod]

women in china do not change their last names since 1949!

women here are having sex long before they get married, how many of them are still virgins before they get married, why do they still want to change their last names to be "traditionaly?" how odd.

 

[Ypo.]

BTW, SOME guys where tight pants too. I do, to show off my nuts and so you can see I am in shape. I dress like that solely to attract women.

Classic. I think that kind of dress usually draws more humor than attraction.

 

[pillowhead]

But hey, if you want a "man" that raises ur babies, takes ur last name because its "nicer", and stays at home so you can sling your co#k at work, hope you're happy. I think its fun to say now, but the reality is that most women dont find joy in such a relationship, and i think those that due find themselves divorced after a few years.

Do you have proof that women do not find joy in such relationships? Do all women want exactly the same in a relationship because you seem to be implying that. What about relationships where both people have careers outside the home? Your entire reply assumes that someone has to stay home full time. What about marriages that don't children? There's more than one way to have a successful marriage.

 

[Ypo.]

Do you have proof that women do not find joy in such relationships? Do all women want exactly the same in a relationship because you seem to be implying that. What about relationships where both people have careers outside the home? Your entire reply assumes that someone has to stay home full time. What about marriages that don't children? There's more than one way to have a successful marriage.

Take my advice. Don't go down that road with medstyle. You could, but it would be a colossal waste of time.

 

[medstyle]

this will be my last post in this discussion, but no, i think it is great if women work and have a career. I just think that a women should also realize that she is a women and should expect to run a home and etc. You can have a career and do that, even if it requires hiring a nanny and housekeepers or whatever.


Sure thats not the solution for everyone. But its pretty much the only way you can have a family with children and a career.

I mean, i am not just pulling this out of my arse. Have you ever read what women themselves say? Has anyone been raised by a housedaddy? I have never met a girl in real life that was looking for a man to take care of, ok? And i have never met a guy who was looking to be taken care of either. So sure, you womyn can "act a fool" on this forum, but I doubt you will be happy with a housedaddy long enough to be married until you:re dead.

i said this long before, but i actually want ot marry a women in med school too. But i want to maintain traditional gender roles in my house.

In this day of single mothers throwing baby showers, multiple divocees wearing white dresses at their weddings, all rules go out the window. But some things won:t change. Men and women are not the same, so the roles in an intimate relationship will be different. You can argue otherwsie, but real life and theory clearly contradict each other.

Remember when Rush limbaugh called out women and saying they shouldn:t be in the military? Well, there was this woman a month or two ago that refused to go on a mission delivering contaminated fuel because she saw that the risk was very high that she would die and maybe it wasn:t worth it. Well, she should have been shot for not going. Thats how it was for men in WWII and korea. There is no choice or fairness in war. You want to play tough, then be tough. I don:t think women should be in combat and I certainly wouldn:t want one next to me on a battlefield. Thats an extreme example, but its just too much for me to see how women cry for mens rights and responsibilities, but aren:t really expected to measure up.

If you want a stay at home husband, i wonder how you:ll feel when you come home after a 16 hour day and he`s out with the boys at ESPN zone, racking up a 200 bill. Or cruising in that new expensive car so he can spend the day at the country club golfing. When the kids grow up, housedads aren`t gonna making it to the pta meeting, thats for sure. Anyway, just think about it.

BTW, i am pretty sure the tight jeans work. Its not like i wear tight jeans to class or something, but when you:re going out to a party, it beats having those wigger jeans on. And by tight, not girl tight, just they are tighter than those fat boy abercrombie pants.

 

[ice_23]

women in china do not change their last names since 1949!

women here are having sex long before they get married, how many of them are still virgins before they get married, why do they still want to change their last names to be "traditionaly?" how odd.

I think what some of the people here are pointing out is that sometimes feminism, although being publicly defined as a movement for equality, tends to be more a movement for the self-interest of women. If feminism suddenly publicly announced that it will act solely in the self-interest of all women everywhere, even if it means causing all men to become subordinate to all women everywhere, then we'd have nothing to argue (although we'd probably then argue that such a stance would be unethical on numerous grounds).

It's the inconsistency in the definition of "equality" that is problematic. It seems that when a particular tradition is considered unequal by many women, it's usually when most would agree that the man is reaping the benefit (i.e. changing last names). But, when the tradition would seem to be unequal in favor of the woman (i.e. man paying for wedding, proposing, etc.) then there doesn't seem to be as much of an outcry for equality by women.

The scenario above is completely consistent with women solely looking out for their self-interest. However, it does not seem consistent with women solely looking out for the more noble goal of equality for both sexes. Inconsistency, as new posters will find, is one of the worst traits one can have when posting on SDN. Just ask Kinetic.

-Ice

 

[pillowhead]

Remember when Rush limbaugh called out women and saying they shouldn:t be in the military? Well, there was this woman a month or two ago that refused to go on a mission delivering contaminated fuel because she saw that the risk was very high that she would die and maybe it wasn:t worth it. Well, she should have been shot for not going. Thats how it was for men in WWII and korea. There is no choice or fairness in war. You want to play tough, then be tough. I don:t think women should be in combat and I certainly wouldn:t want one next to me on a battlefield. Thats an extreme example, but its just too much for me to see how women cry for mens rights and responsibilities, but aren:t really expected to measure up.

what about all the men in the military who have refused orders to go out and fight? I'd be surprised if the female number/proportion of dissenters who refuse to fight because they're afraid to is any higher than the male number. Anyone who goes into the military and is that afraid of getting hurt isn't too bright....that isn't gender specific. What about all the women who bravely fight that you don't hear about all the time? You have a very selective memory. This one woman isn't representative of every female soldier.

 

[dynx]

So if it is all about what works best for each couple why do women get so offended when I say that I would never marry a woman that wants a job outside the home once kids are involved?

 

[pillowhead]

So if it is all about what works best for each couple why do women get so offended when I say that I would never marry a woman that wants a job outside the home once kids are involved?

I don't know. Maybe for the same reason that so many men seem to get offended when they say they will only date a rich man who can buy them everything they want.

 

[dynx]

I don't know. Maybe for the same reason that so many men seem to get offended when they say they will only date a rich man who can buy them everything they want.

Probably, I think both cases are examples where poeple get upset for no reason. Its not demanding the other sex to be that way, its just stating a desired characteristic.

 

[toofache32]

Since when did women get so disenchanted with the most important profession on earth: Motherhood. It's way more important and time-consuming than anything we doctors do. At least I get a day off from the hospital every week. It's like "feminist" women are insulted by their very own uterus.

What's wrong with being a full-time mom?

As far as the Rent-A-Moms that some people call nannies, that's another whole soapbox for me.

 

[typeB-md]

Since when did women get so disenchanted with the most important profession on earth: Motherhood. It's way more important and time-consuming than anything we doctors do. At least I get a day off from the hospital every week. It's like "feminist" women are insulted by their very own uterus.

What's wrong with being a full-time mom?

As far as the Rent-A-Moms that some people call nannies, that's another whole soapbox for me.

because women have beautiful minds and they should be allowed to express themselves while neglecting their children. and another thing, how come it's always the woman having the children? when are men going to get off of their chauvinistic asses and learn that women are beings too and shouldn't have to soley carry the burden of child bearing. Sheesh!!!! Why is this world so messed up!!

 

[delchrys]

i have been and am still TOTALLY looking forward to being a stay-at-home dad and raising my kids to be the best human beings they can be. my wife will bring home the bacon via surgery, and i will maintain the home, remodel, cook, and raise the kids, plus probably write and maybe even practice a little law on the side.

it is LAME when people act as though the base requirement is that women take care of the kids. it's not their "job" any more than it's my job to go out and bring home money, or wooly mammoth meat. i'm not down with social programming.

 

[dynx]

i have been and am still TOTALLY looking forward to being a stay-at-home dad and raising my kids to be the best human beings they can be. my wife will bring home the bacon via surgery, and i will maintain the home, remodel, cook, and raise the kids, plus probably write and maybe even practice a little law on the side.

it is LAME when people act as though the base requirement is that women take care of the kids. it's not their "job" any more than it's my job to go out and bring home money, or wooly mammoth meat. i'm not down with social programming.

Thats cool...I 100% agree. My problem is that I want to be a surgeon and I don't want to give my kids to some stranger to watch, hence, I would only marry a woman that would want to stay home and watch the kids, its not a male/female role thing...its an honest look at what I know I want to do with my life and how I think kids should be raised. However, when I explain this to many, many women I have talked to the overwhelming response is that it is somehow sexist. I am not trying to stir up anger here, I just don't honestly understand how that is sexist.

 

[quideam]

oh, come on!!! it's not about being 'insulted' - it's about not being satisfied with being stay-at-home moms! Some people want that, and that's fine - and others don't. Don't you think you would be bored sitting at home all day, cooking, cleaning, etc? Don't you want a greater intellectual challenge? That's why you went to med school. Why can't women make that same decision? And as far as raising kids - there are SO many options. One spouse can work less, or if one is a doctor they can go into a less-demanding field, or you can have the grandparents help, or nannies, etc. I'm not saying that these alternatives are ideal, but it's better than confining women to 'motherhood' and nothing else. Personally, I was raised by two working parents, and I don't think I missed out.

 

[Elysium]

And why do the women have the market cornered on raising children? I mean, besides the whole point about having a uterus and female hormones. Why does having a uterus mean that rearing children should de facto be the female role? Do you not believe that women might want to raise children and have some intellectual conversation? Have an interaction that doesn't involve picking cereal out of a toddler's hair? I think it's absurd that some men honestly believe that the only value women have is making sure the house is clean and the children are quiet when daddy gets home from the office. I don't believe men and women are the same, but that we have equal things to contribute to both family and career.

 

[typeB-md]

And why do the women have the market cornered on raising children? I mean, besides the whole point about having a uterus and female hormones. Why does having a uterus mean that rearing children should de facto be the female role? Do you not believe that women might want to raise children and have some intellectual conversation? Have an interaction that doesn't involve picking cereal out of a toddler's hair? I think it's absurd that some men honestly believe that the only value women have is making sure the house is clean and the children are quiet when daddy gets home from the office. I don't believe men and women are the same, but that we have equal things to contribute to both family and career.

soon we will be giving the men hormones so that they too can breast feed.

and i'd have no problem staying at home to raise kids... they would all be superstar athletes.

it's like a paid vacation, keep a cell phone on you and give me a ring if the kids have a problem. laundry is easy as pie, and with modern driers you don't even need to iron.

but evereyone's entitled to work and i guess some people would not like to stay at home pursuing other interests such as music or sports.

 

[pillowhead]

soon we will be giving the men hormones so that they too can breast feed.

and i'd have no problem staying at home to raise kids... they would all be superstar athletes.

it's like a paid vacation, keep a cell phone on you and give me a ring if the kids have a problem. laundry is easy as pie, and with modern driers you don't even need to iron.

but evereyone's entitled to work and i guess some people would not like to stay at home pursuing other interests such as music or sports.

this is exactly why many women don't want to take the most important job in the world as a previous poster put it. because often the very same people who say they want their wives to stay at home and raise the kids insult the job of motherhood and think it's a "paid vacation." The very same people who tell women they shouldn't want full time intellectually demanding careers demean the one thing they think women were actually born to do. so hypocritical.

 

[typeB-md]

this is exactly why many women don't want to take the most important job in the world as a previous poster put it. because often the very same people who say they want their wives to stay at home and raise the kids insult the job of motherhood and think it's a "paid vacation." The very same people who tell women they shouldn't want full time intellectually demanding careers demean the one thing they think women were actually born to do. so hypocritical.

it is like a paid vacation. you sit at home and do housekeeping while your SO brings home the $$. then you take the $$ and spend it while your SO goes back to work. Seems like it works for me.

Not to mention that once the kids are older, your role is less.. which means more free time.

 

[quideam]

it is like a paid vacation. you sit at home and do housekeeping while your SO brings home the $$. then you take the $$ and spend it while your SO goes back to work. Seems like it works for me.

Not to mention that once the kids are older, your role is less.. which means more free time.

If this is how you - and other men - feel, then why don't men stay home more? If the wife can bring home the $$, why aren't more husbands volunteering to stay home, if it's such a great deal?

 

[pillowhead]

it is like a paid vacation. you sit at home and do housekeeping while your SO brings home the $$. then you take the $$ and spend it while your SO goes back to work. Seems like it works for me.

Not to mention that once the kids are older, your role is less.. which means more free time.

Do you know how that makes people feel? How would you like someone telling you that "your role is less" in life? That makes people depressed and/or alcoholic and/or suicidal. My best friend's mother was a stay at home mom her entire life...very Christian family who believed that's just how things should be. Very nice people, too. Dad was very supportive, kids turned out great. When her youngest child went to college, she tried to commit suicide because she felt she had nothing left to live for anymore and that all she had worked for was just gone. She was become an inpatient on a psych ward. Someone who was so lucky to have a "paid vacation" for her entire life lost everything. She had absolutely no previous history of mental illness. As part of her treatment program, her psychiatrist made her get a part-time job at a local retail store. It was the only thing that finally pulled her back to her old self. Drugs and therapy couldn't do it.

So if you think a whole lifetime of free time and "paid vacation" is the best way to live, then go drop out of school and find yourself a sugar mama. We'll see how long it takes for you to start having two glasses of wine with dinner every night...and lunch every day....and maybe some champagne with breakfast...and a gin and tonic with some ambien "just to help me fall asleep." I have seen that pattern more than once with stay at home moms once their kids don't need them in the same way anymore. People who have no role in life don't do well for long.

 

[toofache32]

If this is how you - and other men - feel, then why don't men stay home more?

Because we men can't be a mother.

 

[toofache32]

this is exactly why many women don't want to take the most important job in the world as a previous poster put it. because often the very same people who say they want their wives to stay at home and raise the kids insult the job of motherhood and think it's a "paid vacation." The very same people who tell women they shouldn't want full time intellectually demanding careers demean the one thing they think women were actually born to do. so hypocritical.

Let me expand upon what I mentioned earlier. My wife is a full-time mom who works much longer hours than I do in my surgical residency. When I come home I am done with work. She never gets to "turn off her pager" like I do.

Intellectually demanding careers?? Give me a break. Women want to be doctors so they can say, "I'm a doctor" just like everyone else. If you want to stimulate your intellect then read a book. Barefoot. And pregnant. And in the kitchen.

 

[pillowhead]

Let me expand upon what I mentioned earlier. My wife is a full-time mom who works much longer hours than I do in my surgical residency. When I come home I am done with work. She never gets to "turn off her pager" like I do.

Intellectually demanding careers?? Give me a break. Women want to be doctors so they can say, "I'm a doctor" just like everyone else. If you want to stimulate your intellect then read a book. Barefoot. And pregnant. And in the kitchen.

I wasn't really referring to your previous post but someone else's. you said before that you believe motherhood is very important and by the what you have written about your own wife, I completely believe what you say. What I took issue with was type-B md saying that being a stay at home mom is just like a "paid vacation." It's not that easy as I'm sure your wife could tell us because she never gets to leave the workplace.

But that said, I am pretty disheartened that you believe everyone goes into medicine so they can say "I'm a doctor." That's pretty sad. Not that everyone in medicine needs to have the desire to save the world either, but come on. Some of us really do like the intellectual stuff with medicine (that's why we're not all surgeons.)

And I do read books. Lots of them. But I prefer slippers to barefoot and the living room to the kitchen thank you very much.

 

[typeB-md]

If this is how you - and other men - feel, then why don't men stay home more? If the wife can bring home the $$, why aren't more husbands volunteering to stay home, if it's such a great deal?

that is what i'm looking for. i'm waiting to find someone who can provide the $$. i will have full physician knowledge to treat my children as well.

 

[typeB-md]

Do you know how that makes people feel? How would you like someone telling you that "your role is less" in life? That makes people depressed and/or alcoholic and/or suicidal. My best friend's mother was a stay at home mom her entire life...very Christian family who believed that's just how things should be. Very nice people, too. Dad was very supportive, kids turned out great. When her youngest child went to college, she tried to commit suicide because she felt she had nothing left to live for anymore and that all she had worked for was just gone. She was become an inpatient on a psych ward. Someone who was so lucky to have a "paid vacation" for her entire life lost everything. She had absolutely no previous history of mental illness. As part of her treatment program, her psychiatrist made her get a part-time job at a local retail store. It was the only thing that finally pulled her back to her old self. Drugs and therapy couldn't do it.

So if you think a whole lifetime of free time and "paid vacation" is the best way to live, then go drop out of school and find yourself a sugar mama. We'll see how long it takes for you to start having two glasses of wine with dinner every night...and lunch every day....and maybe some champagne with breakfast...and a gin and tonic with some ambien "just to help me fall asleep." I have seen that pattern more than once with stay at home moms once their kids don't need them in the same way anymore. People who have no role in life don't do well for long.

your role as a stay at home mom isn't important? WTF are you talking about?! i said that once the children leave for school, grow up, etc... THEN your role is less important (not totally useless). That's a given fact. at this point in life you can then pursue other interests... flying, scuba, personal business, art, etc. full time.

it is immensely important that a child have a very good upbrining. the fact that you women have inferiority complexes about it says a lot. and i bet men are probably even better suited to stay at home because they aren't emotionally unstable. a man wouldn't cry like a &itch just because the kids left... I would just like to see the look on the mothers face when she came home and the kids were playing with swords in the living room.

if i stayed at home, i'd have my own gym at home. lift 7 days a week. because a master chef. build an outdoor archery range. the ideas are limitless.

another thing to mention is that by the time the kids are all gone, the other "working parent" should be retired so that the couple can live happily ever after with a successful legion of sons and daughters.

i just wonder how long it will take before the women start complaining about how their husband gets to stay home with the kids all day while they work their ass off and still have to take that ambien "just to help me fall asleep." Many working women are doped on drugs as it is... it's not cause they stay at home. It is because they are weak women which is the case a lot of times with these ostentatiously type-A women.

 

[typeB-md]

Let me expand upon what I mentioned earlier. My wife is a full-time mom who works much longer hours than I do in my surgical residency. When I come home I am done with work. She never gets to "turn off her pager" like I do.

Intellectually demanding careers?? Give me a break. Women want to be doctors so they can say, "I'm a doctor" just like everyone else. If you want to stimulate your intellect then read a book. Barefoot. And pregnant. And in the kitchen.

i have to agree. doctos are not "intellectuals" in the sense that i think of intellectuals.

intellectuals are the physicists, the PhD researchres, the theoretical analysts.. people who memorize facts are not intellectuals in my book. we are, however, very hard workers with an interest in science.

 

[pillowhead]

Just found this posted in another forum and thought it would be appropriate given the discussion at hand. Sounds like a grand life to me!

Why I Want a Wife by Judy Syfers (1971)

(Editors Note: This classic piece of feminist humor appeared in the premier issue of Ms. Magazine and was widely circulated in the women's movement.)


I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am A Wife.

And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother. Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?

I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife a wife to keep track of the children's doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children's clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturing attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife's income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while my wife is working.

I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals,serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue care for me and my when I need a rest and change of scene. I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife's duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course of studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have written them.

I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life. When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who take care of the baby-sitting arrangements. When I meet people at school that I like and want to entertain, I want a wife who will have the house clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk about things that interest me and my friends. I want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us. I want a wife who takes care of the needs of my quests so that they feel comfortable, who makes sure that they have an ashtray, that they are passed the hors d'oeuvres, that they are offered a second helping of the food, that their wine glasses are replenished when necessary, that their coffee is served to them as they like it. And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night out by myself.

I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies. And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to relate to people as fully as possible.

If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.

When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife's duties.

My God, who wouldn't want a wife?

 

[erin682]

Why must we classify everyone into these broad sweeping categories. All men/women do this or should do this. Just let everyone lead their own life the way that works best for them. If a man wants to marry a women who will stay at home and raise kids then thats certainly his perogative. If a woman wants to stay home and raise kids then thats her choice. If a man wants to stay home and have a wife that works thats his right to choose that life style. The list goes on. The whole great point about living in a society like ours is that we have the freedome to choose what we want and what works for us while at the same time accepting the benefits and consequences of our decisions.

I'm choosing to have a career and want a husband who also has a career. Thats my decision and I know that there will be difficulties associated with that path. I also think that there will be great rewards in a career that I know I will love. If at some point I choose to stay at home to raise kids thats my decision to make and its no one else's business except a husband.

 

[delchrys]

it is like a paid vacation. you sit at home and do housekeeping while your SO brings home the $$. then you take the $$ and spend it while your SO goes back to work. Seems like it works for me.

Not to mention that once the kids are older, your role is less.. which means more free time.

anyone who says this has never had to do it. it is one of the hardest jobs on earth, end of the story. the total lack of understanding and appreciation of this work is a good source of resentment.

 

[delchrys]

Women want to be doctors so they can say, "I'm a doctor" just like everyone else.

if that is why you are in med school, you are incredibly pathetic.

 

[typeB-md]

anyone who says this has never had to do it. it is one of the hardest jobs on earth, end of the story. the total lack of understanding and appreciation of this work is a good source of resentment.

yea, definitely beats out the 4 years undergrad, 4 years medical school, 7 years of 80+ hour work-weeks during residency.

i couldn't even imagine how much harder it is to be a stay at home mom.

 

[quideam]

Because we men can't be a mother.

Now that's just silly - about the only things you CAN'T do that a woman can is give birth and breast-feed. All the other goodies that come with parenting can be done just as well by men.

 

[kinetic]

Why I Want a Wife by Judy Syfers (1971)

I love how wimmen have to pull that crap. "Oh, I drive the kids to school, so I'm a chauffeur! I carry the plates to the dinner table, so that makes me a waitress! That alone makes me worth $60,000 plus tips!" Holy crap! You also picked up a book, which must make you an Olympic-level weightlifter!

 

[toofache32]

yea, definitely beats out the 4 years undergrad, 4 years medical school, 7 years of 80+ hour work-weeks during residency.

i couldn't even imagine how much harder it is to be a stay at home mom.

Like a previous poster said, you have obviously never done this. I take care of my kid for just a few hours on my day off so my wife can go out and gets stuff done. I'm am more worn-out and tired after 3 hours with my kid than all day at the hospital.

80 hours? My wife wishes she could only work 80 hours per week as a mom. It's a full-time, 7 days per week job.