How to confront a friend about being pre-med?

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Lannister

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I have this friend who recently decided that she wants to be pre-med. However, our other mutual friend (I'll call her C) and I think that the reason she wants to be pre-med is because she feels like all of her friends are pre-med, and her family is pressuring her to be successful. It is very clear that she is more interested in humanities and fine arts (she's an English-psych double major and has expressed an interest in film), which is totally cool and if that's what she wants to do then we totally support her.

But she insists she wants to be pre-med, so C (who is going into nursing) and myself have tried to be as encouraging and helpful as possible. We have told her about all the pre-reqs she needs to take, the amount of volunteering she needs to do, the shadowing, the research, the GPA she needs to get, etc.

As of right now, she's a sophomore in college, and she hasn't taken any pre-med pre-reqs other than a psych class and a year of English. We keep telling her she needs to start bio and chem, so this year she enrolled in "remedial chemistry", which doesn't even count as a real class so it won't even be on her transcript. She claims the reason she's in remedial is because she had to take a placement test to get into gen chem, but when she requested to take the test the testing center never got back to her. If she was really determined to be pre-med, it seems like she would have made more of an effort to take that test.

She also doesn't have any clinical experience and seems to have no desire to seek any out. We live in a huge city with tons of hospitals that need volunteers, yet I don't believe she has applied to any volunteer programs.

Lately we have been trying to hint that she really needs to get started on her pre-reqs and start taking being pre-med more seriously, but she tends to ignore us.

So my friend C and I are in a dilemma. We know that if we tell her to accept the fact that she doesn't really want to be pre-med (and, at this rate, she has demonstrated that she is not mentally capable of being pre-med even if she does want it on some level), she will get upset with us. She seems to be going through a difficult time with family members and other friends and school in general. On the other hand, we feel like we are bad friends if we don't tell her, because at this rate she's going to need at least 1 extra year of undergrad, something we know she can't afford.

We really need some advice on how to deal with this friend. Should we just wait to see how she does in "remedial" chemistry? Hope she figures it out by herself? Or confront her?

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Honestly with people like that you just have to let them figure it out for themselves. Trust me, when it comes time for her to study for the MCAT, she'll decide whether or not she wants to continue. So many people I know said they'll do medicine and then when it came time to start studying for the MCAT, almost all of them backed out. There are so many big obstacles that prevent people from "casually" applying to med school (hell even applying to med schools takes a huge amount of mental and physical effort) that a lot of them will just forget about it when those obstacles finally hit them in the face. It sounds like your friend is going to be one of those people who gets hit in the face.

But be supportive of her... for now. If she truly wants to do medicine, she'll do things on her own and figure it out. Keep trying to guide her in the right direction. If she continues to be totally unenthusiastic like you say she is, you kind of just have to keep "nagging" at her to be realistic about what she wants to do after college.
 
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I have this friend who recently decided that she wants to be pre-med. However, our other mutual friend (I'll call her C) and I think that the reason she wants to be pre-med is because she feels like all of her friends are pre-med, and her family is pressuring her to be successful. It is very clear that she is more interested in humanities and fine arts (she's an English-psych double major and has expressed an interest in film), which is totally cool and if that's what she wants to do then we totally support her.

But she insists she wants to be pre-med, so C (who is going into nursing) and myself have tried to be as encouraging and helpful as possible. We have told her about all the pre-reqs she needs to take, the amount of volunteering she needs to do, the shadowing, the research, the GPA she needs to get, etc.

As of right now, she's a sophomore in college, and she hasn't taken any pre-med pre-reqs other than a psych class and a year of English. We keep telling her she needs to start bio and chem, so this year she enrolled in "remedial chemistry", which doesn't even count as a real class so it won't even be on her transcript. She claims the reason she's in remedial is because she had to take a placement test to get into gen chem, but when she requested to take the test the testing center never got back to her. If she was really determined to be pre-med, it seems like she would have made more of an effort to take that test.

She also doesn't have any clinical experience and seems to have no desire to seek any out. We live in a huge city with tons of hospitals that need volunteers, yet I don't believe she has applied to any volunteer programs.

Lately we have been trying to hint that she really needs to get started on her pre-reqs and start taking being pre-med more seriously, but she tends to ignore us.

So my friend C and I are in a dilemma. We know that if we tell her to accept the fact that she doesn't really want to be pre-med (and, at this rate, she has demonstrated that she is not mentally capable of being pre-med even if she does want it on some level), she will get upset with us. She seems to be going through a difficult time with family members and other friends and school in general. On the other hand, we feel like we are bad friends if we don't tell her, because at this rate she's going to need at least 1 extra year of undergrad, something we know she can't afford.

We really need some advice on how to deal with this friend. Should we just wait to see how she does in "remedial" chemistry? Hope she figures it out by herself? Or confront her?
What could you possibly hope to gain by confronting your friend about not being "serious" enough about being a pre-med? Why on earth would you want to do this, unless you WANT her to be upset with you? What would it hurt to simply continue to try to guide her on what she should be doing and let her choose her own course for her education? As far as being "mentally capable of being pre-med" there ARE no mental capabilities necessary to be "pre-med," as evidenced by the huge number of freshman pre-meds at any university. Whether she completes the courses necessary in a satisfactory manner will determine whether she is mentally capable of getting into med school. None of the issues you think she has need you to "confront" her about not being pre-med enough.
 
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Just be supportive and mind your own business
 
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I agree with a poster above me. She is an adult who is supposed to be capable of making rational decision for herself. You continuously "pushing" her is basically treating her like a child which would anger anybody. You did your part when you informed her what needs to be done to get in. Now it is up to her and you should respect her choices regardless how irrational you find them.
 
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I knew several friends who were similar in college.

My opinion in each case was that they more or less deliberately allowed themselves to be weeded out.

This took the pressure off from disappointing their parents by telling them they didn't want to do medicine.
 
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The main reason why we have considered confronting her or at least having a serious conversation about her being pre-med is that
a) if she truly wants to be pre-med, we want her to know that we are happy to help her study and find opportunities,
b) that it's okay if she doesn't want to be pre-med, and that we would never look down on her for not going into medicine, and neither should anyone else who truly cares about her,
c) because we don't want her to waste her time taking classes and doing activities that make her miserable when she could be getting involved in stuff that would benefit her in the career she actually wants to do.

But on the other hands we see the merit in not confronting her and letting her figure it out for herself. Everyone needs to learn to make their own decisions and suffer the consequences if they make bad decisions.

And sorry, when I said, "mentally capable of being pre-med", I should have said, "mentally capable of being able to get into and prosper in medical school". To us it seems like she doesn't really like school, can't make herself study, won't go out of her way to achieve something she supposedly wants, doesn't want to put much effort into stuff, etc.
 
Point her to SDN and back away -- Maybe mention SDN in her hearing a few more times over the next few months. Either she'll investigate and find out for herself what she needs to do, or she won't care enough to do even this much and the 'problem' will evaporate.

Sounds like she really doesn't want to go to medical school all that much anyway, so pushing her to try harder won't do her any real good anyway.
 
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I just told her about SDN a few days ago and told her it was a really great resource...If I remember correctly she completely ignored me. :(

I think you guys are right, we have done everything that it's our place to do by encouraging her. We will continue to help her whenever she asks us, but I guess we will just stop bringing up anything relating to pre-med from now on.
 
It seems like your heart is in the right place, but this isn't your battle. Make sure you're supportive, and if she does give up on medicine, let her know that you've seen how passionate she is about film or psych or whatever and you think she would be great at that.
 
It isn't like she's an alcoholic and needs an intervention or something. Just let her do her thing, she'll figure it out eventually. Just play along. It's like if a kid tells you they're going to be an astronaut. You just nod and smile and say good for you damn well knowing that they have no idea wtf becoming an astronaut entails, nor what the job itself is like. You run into all sorts of people in college that have unrealistic goals and dreams, but shooting them down or telling them they have no idea what they are getting into will do nothing but shrink your social circle. Offer encouragement if needed, otherwise, let her figure it all out on her own.

I've seen literally hundreds of "premeds" crash and burn by junior year. Not once did I say a word to any of them, because nothing I could do would save them nor change their mind. So I'd just be like, "You're a premed? That's great. Good luck!" The ones I really liked that had some hope I would loan my MCAT books to study from, but that's it.
 
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OP, I understand your sentiments in wanting to help your friend, but the change has to come from within. No matter how much you want to help her, no matter how much you want it for her, it doesn't matter if she doesn't want it enough herself.

If she's made bad choices and you've given your advice that she simply won't follow, there's nothing more you can do.
 
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The main reason why we have considered confronting her or at least having a serious conversation about her being pre-med is that
a) if she truly wants to be pre-med, we want her to know that we are happy to help her study and find opportunities,
b) that it's okay if she doesn't want to be pre-med, and that we would never look down on her for not going into medicine, and neither should anyone else who truly cares about her,
c) because we don't want her to waste her time taking classes and doing activities that make her miserable when she could be getting involved in stuff that would benefit her in the career she actually wants to do.

But on the other hands we see the merit in not confronting her and letting her figure it out for herself. Everyone needs to learn to make their own decisions and suffer the consequences if they make bad decisions.

And sorry, when I said, "mentally capable of being pre-med", I should have said, "mentally capable of being able to get into and prosper in medical school". To us it seems like she doesn't really like school, can't make herself study, won't go out of her way to achieve something she supposedly wants, doesn't want to put much effort into stuff, etc.


I know you have already done things to help her, but you can still do these things without it being a confrontation or questioning her drive/abilities.
Also, keep in mind that not everyone needs to have the same pathway to medical school. You may be further along than she is, but given that she is a sophomore, there is still a lot of time in her life to make these choices. I had no clinical exposure, nor did I attempt to get any, as a sophomore in college either, but that didn't preclude me from continuing to pursue medicine and getting into medical school. I just had a different path. She'll figure things out, just be supportive and her friend regardless.
 
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As an adjunct to this conversation, am I the only one who really loathes the term "premed?" I always feel as if it's someone trying to claim some sort of status for something they have not yet accomplished. Imagine if every engineering student was running around calling themselves "pre-engineers" or the accounting majors were calling themselves "pre-CPAs." I guess at least those people would have better odds of actually becoming their "pre-whatever" dream job. When only 1 in 10 premeds even makes it to the point of application, and only one in two of those gets accepted, it really becomes a meaningless term. You're basically saying "I'm a person taking a bunch of courses for a training program that 95% of people taking my courses will never actually manage to attend." They say premed, I hear "there's a 95% chance I'm a future failure."
 
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As an adjunct to this conversation, am I the only one who really loathes the term "premed?" I always feel as if it's someone trying to claim some sort of status for something they have not yet accomplished. Imagine if every engineering student was running around calling themselves "pre-engineers" or the accounting majors were calling themselves "pre-CPAs." I guess at least those people would have better odds of actually becoming their "pre-whatever" dream job. When only 1 in 10 premeds even makes it to the point of application, and only one in two of those gets accepted, it really becomes a meaningless term. You're basically saying "I'm a person taking a bunch of courses for a training program that 95% of people taking my courses will never actually manage to attend." They say premed, I hear "there's a 95% chance I'm a future failure."

I gag a little bit every time a person brags about being pre-med for those reasons.
 
As an adjunct to this conversation, am I the only one who really loathes the term "premed?" I always feel as if it's someone trying to claim some sort of status for something they have not yet accomplished. Imagine if every engineering student was running around calling themselves "pre-engineers" or the accounting majors were calling themselves "pre-CPAs." I guess at least those people would have better odds of actually becoming their "pre-whatever" dream job. When only 1 in 10 premeds even makes it to the point of application, and only one in two of those gets accepted, it really becomes a meaningless term. You're basically saying "I'm a person taking a bunch of courses for a training program that 95% of people taking my courses will never actually manage to attend." They say premed, I hear "there's a 95% chance I'm a future failure."

Well, AMSA and other premed organizations are just instilling the Premed Pride! Being premed is a social symbol these days! :couchpotato::smug::smuggrin:

OT: OP, you may be concerned about your friend's performance and interest, but honestly, let her take care of it. She's in college now so she is self-sufficient. If she wants to go to SDN, fine. It doesn't matter. But don't get involved in what your friends do.
 
Sometimes adults have to let other adults make mistakes.

You'll have as much chance of breaking her away from her path before she's ready as you would convincing her to break up with a boyfriend you didn't like. Which is to say, not a second before SHE is ready to.

As others have said, stay supportive but don't give unsolicited advice. She'll get there eventually.
 
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I think @Reckoner and @SN12357 are right on, and I'm wondering how its possible to take a "remedial" college course. Do you mean she is taking chem for non-majors? Even still, I don't see how you could take a college course and it not show up on your transcript. Wish I could've pulled that off a couple times!
 
I think you should tell her what's required and where she can go to get those done. I feel like all you should do is tell her what you think about all of this. I wouldn't push and try to convince her that her passion is art or humanities and that she should quit the premed route. I'm sure she knows already. Whatever she does should be her decision.

If she chooses to live for other people, that's her choice. Tons of people live their lives to make their families or friends happy instead of themselves.
 
I don't really understand the whole "remedial" class thing either. She and our other friend C go to the same public university, but I go to a private school in another state, so I'm not familiar with how their university works, really. From what I understand the class doesn't count for credit so it doesn't show up on your transcript.
 
I don't really understand the whole "remedial" class thing either. She and our other friend C go to the same public university, but I go to a private school in another state, so I'm not familiar with how their university works, really. From what I understand the class doesn't count for credit so it doesn't show up on your transcript.

I've heard of this at community colleges but not 4-year schools. The idea is basically that some people come in not actually performing at a college level, so they need to remediate before the school will let them take classes worth college credit.
 
Yeah my friend says that remedial chemistry is supposed to be for people who took the placement test to get into gen chem (my school doesn't have placement tests so I don't really understand that part either) and failed it.
 
I was hoping this would be a satirical post complaining about their friend who they believe to be pre-med, "I caught him shadowing and volunteering" "I think he's going over MCAT review books in Bio 1", etc.
 
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As an adjunct to this conversation, am I the only one who really loathes the term "premed?" I always feel as if it's someone trying to claim some sort of status for something they have not yet accomplished. Imagine if every engineering student was running around calling themselves "pre-engineers" or the accounting majors were calling themselves "pre-CPAs." I guess at least those people would have better odds of actually becoming their "pre-whatever" dream job. When only 1 in 10 premeds even makes it to the point of application, and only one in two of those gets accepted, it really becomes a meaningless term. You're basically saying "I'm a person taking a bunch of courses for a training program that 95% of people taking my courses will never actually manage to attend." They say premed, I hear "there's a 95% chance I'm a future failure."

Taking my cue from NCAA, "Premeds: most of us are going pro in something other than medicine." Could we run an ad campaign broadcast on old episodes of House MD and Scrubs?
 
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Be a friend and let her figure it out herself.
 
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Being premed is a social symbol these days!

jQfG5Hc.gif
 
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If you are looking to lose out on a friendship, then by all means tell your friend not to be pre-med. If anyone (friend) every tried to discourage me, they'd get shut out forever.
 
As an adjunct to this conversation, am I the only one who really loathes the term "premed?" I always feel as if it's someone trying to claim some sort of status for something they have not yet accomplished. Imagine if every engineering student was running around calling themselves "pre-engineers" or the accounting majors were calling themselves "pre-CPAs." I guess at least those people would have better odds of actually becoming their "pre-whatever" dream job. When only 1 in 10 premeds even makes it to the point of application, and only one in two of those gets accepted, it really becomes a meaningless term. You're basically saying "I'm a person taking a bunch of courses for a training program that 95% of people taking my courses will never actually manage to attend." They say premed, I hear "there's a 95% chance I'm a future failure."

Jeeeezusss this is harsh. Most engineers or accountants don't have to undergo an additional 4 years of school. That is where the "pre-" comes from. WOW. I believe pre-med sometimes carries a negative connotation, but thats only if the person in question lets that connotation ring true to who they are. When I hear pre-med I hear "I'd like to go to medical school someday after college." That's really all there is too it.
 
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So my friend C and I are in a dilemma. We know that if we tell her to accept the fact that she doesn't really want to be pre-med (and, at this rate, she has demonstrated that she is not mentally capable of being pre-med even if she does want it on some level), she will get upset with us. She seems to be going through a difficult time with family members and other friends and school in general. On the other hand, we feel like we are bad friends if we don't tell her, because at this rate she's going to need at least 1 extra year of undergrad, something we know she can't afford.

We really need some advice on how to deal with this friend. Should we just wait to see how she does in "remedial" chemistry? Hope she figures it out by herself? Or confront her?

I think I vomited a little bit when I read this post.
 
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Jeeeezusss this is harsh. Most engineers or accountants don't have to undergo an additional 4 years of school. That is where the "pre-" comes from. WOW. I believe pre-med sometimes carries a negative connotation, but thats only if the person in question lets that connotation ring true to who they are. When I hear pre-med I hear "I'd like to go to medical school someday after college." That's really all there is too it.

well true, but we could call them engineers in training if they have passed the FE but still need to work for 5 years before they can take the PE and become a licensed professional engineer with all the fun responsibilities. anyways, off topic - but now I feel like I should have told people i was pre-med pre-engineer in college, darn.
 
OP, have you considered other possibilities? 1. She could be "pursuing" pre-med to appease her family and secretly sabotaging those efforts to pursue what truly makes her happy or 2. She truly wants to do medicine and will figure out her own path into medicine as she goes through life. Nothing in the world you say or do can change that; she will figure it out. Just be supportive of her, as a friend should be.
 
Do some research on motivational interviewing techniques. If your concern is that your friend lacks the required dedication to pursue a career in medicine, then talk to her about why she wants to be a physician. You can start it off casually, by offering some story of your own motivation and excitement about medicine, and then leave her space to talk about her motivations and goals.

This is a time at which many of your peers are trying to understand what they want from their lives. Your friend will need your support as she goes through that discernment. Do your best not to alienate her.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motivational_interviewing
 
Jeeeezusss this is harsh. Most engineers or accountants don't have to undergo an additional 4 years of school. That is where the "pre-" comes from. WOW. I believe pre-med sometimes carries a negative connotation, but thats only if the person in question lets that connotation ring true to who they are. When I hear pre-med I hear "I'd like to go to medical school someday after college." That's really all there is too it.
It's just a meaningless label is my point, yet people flaunt it like it's a status symbol in undergrad. No one else refers to their major with such a sense of superiority. Anyone else states their major when asked- only premeds state their dream profession, with their degree just one stumbling block on the way to getting there.

From now on if we're playing by premed rules, I'm pre-Congressman Mad Jack. This doctor thing is so just my stepping stone.
 
It's just a meaningless label is my point, yet people flaunt it like it's a status symbol in undergrad. No one else refers to their major with such a sense of superiority. Anyone else states their major when asked- only premeds state their dream profession, with their degree just one stumbling block on the way to getting there.

From now on if we're playing by premed rules, I'm pre-Congressman Mad Jack. This doctor thing is so just my stepping stone.


Pre-Congressman Mad Jack, I am pre-Speaker of the House, BurberryDoc. You can call me Burbs. I look forward to our paths crossing in Washington.
 
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Pre-Congressman Mad Jack, I am pre-Speaker of the House, BurberryDoc. You can call me Burbs. I look forward to our paths crossing in Washington.

Hi there pre-Speaker of the House, BurberryDoc! I'm pre-Nigerian Prince ichor. I need to borrow money from you to unfreeze my sizable fortune--all of which could be yours!
 
Hi there pre-Speaker of the House, BurberryDoc! I'm pre-Nigerian Prince ichor. I need to borrow money from you to unfreeze my sizable fortune--all of which could be yours!

Sorry, pre-Nigerian Prince @ichor, I already gave $140,000K to a Liberian, $230,000K to a Namibian, and $320,000 to a Mauritanian. I'm all tapped out!
 
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Elitism exists everywhere at college, it's just different in different social circles:

Scientists hate pre-Meds because they aren't pure scientists and feign actual interest in subjects ( by stereotype )
Scientists hate Engineering Majors for selling out their analytic/scientific talents for money
Scientists hate Liberal Arts Majors because they "don't add value to the world." (a dumb argument, but whatever)
Scientists hate Business majors most of all because they are the only group who went to school to learn nothing at all but how to network. (again, untrue, but it's all just generalizations)

Engineers hate Business majors for being "talkers" and not "doers"
Engineers hate Scientists because they won't get jobs and "waste a lot of time asking pointless questions" (read: are interested in non-short term results)
Engineers hate Liberal Arts Majors because they won't get jobs and "don't add value to the world." (vomit, again)
Engineers hate pre-Meds because they are wasting their time in school when they could be making money.

Business majors hate Engineers because they have no idea how to communicate with other human beings
Business majors hate pre-Meds because they have no idea how to communicate with other human beings.
Business majors hate Scientists because they really have no idea how to communicate with other human beings.
Business majors hate Liberal Arts Majors because they won't get jobs and are hippy-liberal treehuggers.

And Liberal Arts Majors hate freaking everyone because Nietzsche showed them that God is dead, Camus told them that life is absurd, and history taught them that people are crap.

*I'm kidding, of course*
 
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Just to avoid future disappointment for those who open this thread, here's what the real original post should have been:

Hey guys, I'm posting today because I'm worried about a friend. She used to be so fun-loving and carefree. She was the life of the party and a genuinely cool person. But lately, things have changed. I think she may have become a premed...

It all started a few months ago when we had course registration. We were planning on taking "Underwater Basket Weaving" and "Golf Course Management" to fulfill the requirements for our liberal arts major, but at the last minute she switched into Orgo I and started an indiegogo campaign to raise $5,000 for her service trip to Syria. A couple weeks later we threw her a birthday party and she showed up wearing scrubs, mumbling about how the ethanol in our tequila shots would serve as a good polar protic solvent in her next Sn1 reaction for orgo lab. Things quickly spiralled out of control from there. I sat next to her for a test one day and watched her frame a fellow pre-med student for cheating, getting him an F on the exam. Afterwards, she smiled at me and kept repeating "one pre-med to rule them all". As if the metaphorical backstabbing wasn't enough, she proceeded to literally stab our friend in the back with a pen, screaming that she needed to practice her sutures or she'd never get into Harvard.

I've finally decided that I've had enough. How do I confront my friend? How can I tell her I don't like who she's become? How do I tell her that there's a strong likelihood she'll be charged with aggravated assault? I really need advice, thanks in advance!
 
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She'll figure it out as she takes pre-reqs (if she ever does). If she feels like doing medicine later, she'll figure it out. Nothing will be gained by confronting her and being like "B****, listen, you suck at pre-med."
 
I agree with just about everyone else in this thread. This is a non issue. You just keep trying to offer the best advice you can, and let them figure out what they really want if they happen to crash and burn. Failing is a great way to figure out what your priorities are.

The title of this thread makes it seem like being pre-med is akin to being an alcoholic. "My friend is pre-med and in total denial. I don't know how to talk to her about it. I want to help her before it's too late..."

Some of these threads are amazing to me.

But no matter what happens, I hope your friend figures out what path she wants to be on. Because that is always the hardest part. :]
 
And the issue here is?

You're trying to control something that you can't control. Let her explore.
 
As if the metaphorical backstabbing wasn't enough, she proceeded to literally stab our friend in the back with a pen, screaming that she needed to practice her sutures or she'd never get into Harvard.

Hahahaha thank you, this made my day. Sorry for the misleading title, everyone!
 
And thank you for the advice, everyone. After reading what you all had to say I totally understand why I shouldn't confront her about this. I guess if I was in her position I wouldn't want someone to confront me about it, either. I'll just let her figure things out on her own and hope for the best!
 
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Elitism exists everywhere at college, it's just different in different social circles:

Scientists hate pre-Meds because they aren't pure scientists and feign actual interest in subjects ( by stereotype )
Scientists hate Engineering Majors for selling out their analytic/scientific talents for money
Scientists hate Liberal Arts Majors because they "don't add value to the world." (a dumb argument, but whatever)
Scientists hate Business majors most of all because they are the only group who went to school to learn nothing at all but how to network. (again, untrue, but it's all just generalizations)

Engineers hate Business majors for being "talkers" and not "doers"
Engineers hate Scientists because they won't get jobs and "waste a lot of time asking pointless questions" (read: are interested in non-short term results)
Engineers hate Liberal Arts Majors because they won't get jobs and "don't add value to the world." (vomit, again)
Engineers hate pre-Meds because they are wasting their time in school when they could be making money.

Business majors hate Engineers because they have no idea how to communicate with other human beings
Business majors hate pre-Meds because they have no idea how to communicate with other human beings.
Business majors hate Scientists because they really have no idea how to communicate with other human beings.
Business majors hate Liberal Arts Majors because they won't get jobs and are hippy-liberal treehuggers.

And Liberal Arts Majors hate freaking everyone because Nietzsche showed them that God is dead, Camus told them that life is absurd, and history taught them that people are crap.

*I'm kidding, of course*

Well at least no one hates economists, physicists, astronomers and programmers. :cool:
 
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What could you possibly hope to gain by confronting your friend about not being "serious" enough about being a pre-med? Why on earth would you want to do this, unless you WANT her to be upset with you? What would it hurt to simply continue to try to guide her on what she should be doing and let her choose her own course for her education? As far as being "mentally capable of being pre-med" there ARE no mental capabilities necessary to be "pre-med," as evidenced by the huge number of freshman pre-meds at any university. Whether she completes the courses necessary in a satisfactory manner will determine whether she is mentally capable of getting into med school. None of the issues you think she has need you to "confront" her about not being pre-med enough.

This. Besides, if her heart isn't into it, she'll probably bomb organic chemistry and be out of the running in due time.
 
Wow, girl problems never cease to amaze me
 
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