How to respond to unprofessional (even illegal?) interview questions?

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kbird

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Hi all,

As an older female applicant (at least this is why I suspect I get asked these...) I routinely find that I get asked questions that I find uncomfortable, and in many cases are actually not legal. For example, I've been asked in the past what my plans for children are, if I'm married, or how I will handle medicine as a woman whose "biological clock must be ticking."

I am wondering if anyone can suggest the appropriate response to these questions. While I feel it may be my right to either politely decline to answer or even report such questions to the university, I also worry that doing so will negatively impact me.

How should I handle this?

Thanks!

Those questions are definitely illegal, the interviewer should know not to ask you those types of questions. I would politely decline, maybe say something like "I don't feel comfortable answering those questions". I would report it as well. It shouldn't affect your outcome in any way. They may just have someone else interview you and disregard the comments made by your initial interviewer.
 
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I'm not sure how it works because I haven't been in that situation yet. I just knew someone who was asked similar questions, reported it and was offered another interview. She didn't tell me if she told them the day of or in writing though. I would probably speak to the dean or someone else that has a more authoritative role in the admissions process. You could call the schools that you have already interviewed at and report it and see what happens. But see if more responses come on this thread. Someone may have had a similar experience as you, and could give you more advice on how to go about informing the admissions committee. I'm sorry that this happened to you though, it really is none of the interviewer's business on how you handle your personal life.
 
I remember reading in a thread about ageism in residency interviews that some of these types of questions can actually be legal, but if they reject you, they have to be able to prove that they rejected you for some reason other than your age or family plans. Unfortunately, that can be as simple as saying you weren't a good "fit" for the program, as intangible as that is.

I would say something along the lines of, "I am not sure of my family plans right now. My primary focus is to become a physician..." and lead the conversation away from the topic. You might also choose to address it head on and say something like, "When the time comes for me to start a family, I plan to seek out mentors who are women that have successfully juggled a growing family and a career in medicine and learn from their experiences. However, I don't know when that time will be."
 
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I remember reading in a thread about ageism in residency interviews that some of these types of questions can actually be legal, but if they reject you, they have to be able to prove that they rejected you for some reason other than your age or family plans. Unfortunately, that can be as simple as saying you weren't a good "fit" for the program, as intangible as that is.

I would say something along the lines of, "I am not sure of my family plans right now. My primary focus is to become a physician..." and lead the conversation away from the topic. You might also choose to address it head on and say something like, "When the time comes for me to start a family, I plan to seek out mentors who are women that have successfully juggled a growing family and a career in medicine and learn from their experiences. However, I don't know when that time will be."

Excellent answer.
 
If you feel you had an illegal question, you need to report it to the admissions department on the day of your interview. More often, they will find someone else to interview you. I had a mentor who was on admissions at one point and she told me that school are fully willing to reinterview someone, but if you do not report it right away, they look down on your ability to be assertive and it creates a huge headache for everyone to schedule a completely new interview day. Hope that helps.
 
As an older female applicant (at least this is why I suspect I get asked these...) I routinely find that I get asked questions that I find uncomfortable, and in many cases are actually not legal. For example, I've been asked in the past what my plans for children are, if I'm married, or how I will handle medicine as a woman whose "biological clock must be ticking."

I'm also an older female applicant, and I've also gotten this question. I had the distinct impression that my interviewer was gauging my reaction to the question more so than my answer, but I said something along the lines of, "I've given careful consideration to pursuing a career in medicine at this point in my life, and certainly I've thought about some of the things you just mentioned, however I am absolutely certain that this is the right decision for me because..." and shifted the discussion to why I want to be a doctor. Seemed to work out ok.
 
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Another excellent answer Monkeyfeet --

Illegal or not, women are sometimes gonna get this question. Capable deflection or assured handling is, IMO, a better strategy than calling "no fair!" to admissions -- even though it is no fair... It's also no fair that we have to make those choices. Buy what can you really do about the biology of it?... Cue Jeremy Irons from Lion King "Life's not fair..."
 
Another excellent answer Monkeyfeet --

Illegal or not, women are sometimes gonna get this question. Capable deflection or assured handling is, IMO, a better strategy than calling "no fair!" to admissions -- even though it is no fair... It's also no fair that we have to make those choices. Buy what can you really do about the biology of it?... Cue Jeremy Irons from Lion King "Life's not fair..."

I disagree with the idea that you should not report this -- it is not simply about "calling 'no fair!'" In the interview, I would answer as monkeyfeet suggested, however, afterward, reporting this to the dean of admissions is imperative in my mind. There is no school that wants to make the impression that is being made by this interviewer, not just for the sake of reputation but also liability. But for the sake of the female applicants who come after you, I think it is the right thing to do. While some of us may handle it well, others will be so flustered that the interview from that point on and perhaps the next interview might be tainted. Furthermore, if an interviewer breaks this rule, I'm going to take the stance that I don't want him/her picking future physicians.
 
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I have hired/ interviewed dozens of people, and have always been trained not to ask these questions - along the same lines as "no what country are you originally from." :stop: I know the legality of the family planning issue is hotly debated, and it is also sticky as someone said above because technically you can just be the wrong "fit." I don't know if medical schools would actually be screening you out for planning to have a family, they probably just want to know if you have reflected on how to juggle it much as they might ask us to reflect on how we will handle med school period.

With that said, has someone actually said the "biological clock is ticking" line? To be honest, this entire interaction feels like a gendered/ageist microaggression to me, and while maybe/maybe not legal and even if the interviewer is "well-intentioned", I think you should politely but directly report to the admissions office that it made you uncomfortable. The system won't change if we don't demand that it change. :punch:
 
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I feel that reporting it will leave a negative mark on you and maybe leave some slight bias against your application. You're in your right to report it and be granted another interview, but when it comes to med school applications, I always believe that its best to be careful and tread lightly. Even if they grant you another interview and such, I doubt the previous interviewer will be fired and s/he is part of the committee so you'll always have that.

I think what's been suggested is best, just answer vaguely and kindly and then sway the conversation elsewhere. Unless the person keeps pressuring you with these sort of questions, I wouldn't make a fuss and do everything you can to be accepted. Then once you are, you can try to change the system from the inside. I feel that admissions will be more receptive of your comments as a matriculated student rather than an applicant.

It's a crappy situation that you shouldn't have to deal with it, but remember you're still an applicant. As said, they can reject you after your second interview because of something as nebulous as "not the right fit" and it might have to do with you reporting your experiences. I would only report if the interviewer was truly harassing you.
 
Do you think your interviewer had a lot of experience? I ask because I had an interviewer ask me the standard "where do you see yourself in 20 years" question, and I answered talking entirely about my professional life and aspirations for my career. When I finished she said "what about family? every time I ask that question people always just talk about their job and never family!" She didn't seem to be aware that most people would deliberately avoid talking about family planning, so it seemed like she had never been told not to talk about certain topics. Although this seemed much more of an innocent comment than the questions you were asked.
 
The "biological clock ticking" comment is quite offensive. But aren't the questions regarding marriage and kids legitimate? I'm a guy and I've been asked that question. Medicine is a demanding career. I don't see why they can't ask you these questions, because surely you've asked yourself the same thing. Most of my friends in/considering medicine are worrying about it to some degree. It's an interview, and if you say "Oh, well, I never thought about that." you'll come off looking like you haven't actually thought about the career. Just say it's a challenge that you've thought about, your priority now is on medicine, and in the future you'll figure it out or find a compromise to make things work. I reversed the question on my interviewer to find out how he made it happen (I had already learned that he had a happy family. Risky move since your interviewer have had some family problems due to medicine)
 
how is a biological clock ticking comment offensive to you
you're a guy

when im an overworked resident i sure dont want to be picking up even more patients because some female resident got pregnant and left the rest of us in the lurch
i mean sure ive heard of some surgery residents being in the OR until they were practically having contractions but how many women are actually like that
 
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how is a biological clock ticking comment offensive to you
you're a guy

when im an overworked resident i sure dont want to be picking up even more patients because some female resident got pregnant and left the rest of us in the lurch
i mean sure ive heard of some surgery residents being in the OR until they were practically having contractions but how many women are actually like that

Rofl I was saying that the comment to the OP was offensive.

So what, women should sign a contract with med schools and residency programs promising they won't get pregnant? Might as well force all women in medicine to have their tubes cut! Hell, why not stop at medicine. EVERY women in existence who wants to work should be sterilized, right yehhboiiii?
 
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Yeah, I'm a young woman (traditional applicant) and have been asked very personal questions about my relationship status and plans for children at several interviews. At one, the interviewer tried to convince me that the field/type of practice I want to go in to isn't practical as a woman who wants children... But I got in so I guess it didn't have bearing on their decision.
 
For a long time, there was a push to move away from the paternalistic side of medicine. I've spoken with a lot of administrators/MDs about the issue. And they all say one thing "You guys have it so much easier than we did. We did q2 call and didn't b!tch or complain one iota. You guys want to go home at 9am after taking call? It's pathetic. We're breeding compassionate, caring INCAPABLE doctors."

Now while I tend to disagree with a lot of what I quoted above... Most attendings are bitter because they've been screwed over work wise by a female resident/med student.

I don't think we should require doctors to work a prescribed amount of hours. But, I think it's a bit selfish if the doctor went through all that training to work 2 days a week... It's a waste of resources. That being said, I understand the importance of wanting a family/kids etc.

A good friend of mine is a PGY-1 (first year resident), in a competitive specialty with a small program. She flat out told me "Yeah, I'm waiting to have my kids in residency because I get paid mat leave. No point in having them in med school."

With regards to how to answer those questions... deflect and redirect. You have to realize that medicine is a conservative old boys club still. So if you go tell the admissions people, they might feign (as much as I hate to say it) concern and set up another interview. Or they could be genuine... just tread lightly.
 
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how is a biological clock ticking comment offensive to you
you're a guy

when im an overworked resident i sure dont want to be picking up even more patients because some female resident got pregnant and left the rest of us in the lurch
i mean sure ive heard of some surgery residents being in the OR until they were practically having contractions but how many women are actually like that

The Family and Medical Leave Act is gender neutral and allows males to take "paternity leave" if their female significant other gives birth to a child. It is illegal to disallow a male "paternity leave."

The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) provides an entitlement of up to 12 weeks of job-protected, unpaid leave during any 12-month period to eligible, covered employees for the following reasons: 1) birth and care of the eligible employee's child, or placement for adoption or foster care of a child with the employee; 2) care of an immediate family member (spouse, child, parent) who has a serious health condition; or 3) care of the employee's own serious health condition. It also requires that employee's group health benefits be maintained during the leave. The FMLA is administered by the Employment Standards Administration's Wage and Hour Division within the U.S. Department of Labor.
 
Hi all,

As an older female applicant (at least this is why I suspect I get asked these...) I routinely find that I get asked questions that I find uncomfortable, and in many cases are actually not legal. For example, I've been asked in the past what my plans for children are, if I'm married, or how I will handle medicine as a woman whose "biological clock must be ticking."

I am wondering if anyone can suggest the appropriate response to these questions. While I feel it may be my right to either politely decline to answer or even report such questions to the university, I also worry that doing so will negatively impact me.

How should I handle this?

Thanks!
I was asked a borderline "illegal" question along the lines of how I intend to balance my schedule (the fact that I've been in a 7 year relationship came up) if I were to get married/have a family in med school or residency, etc. There was another one along the lines of if English was my first language/how I would rate my own skills (they were under the impression I wasn't born in this country).

You can decline to answer in a less obvious way by deflecting it and addressing the "root" concern of the question, which is whether or not you'd be able to perform all tasks and duties regardless of additional non-med school responsibilities you may have. And re-emphasize what skills you have that would ensure that any of these outside responsibilities will not interfere with your ability to practice or perform to the best of your abilities. Everyone's happy, and it doesn't leave a bad taste in your interviewer's mouth :D
 
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I interviewed at five schools and had two interviews where illegal questions were asked. One was "waht other schools are you applying to?"==I didin't mind answering that one so much and did so truthfully, but I decided that that school was a little unprofessional, although that is the most common "illegal interview question. I answered truthfully because tat's just what I do, but in hindsight, I think the best thing to do is to simply say that you would only attend an interview at that school if you were interested in matriculation there.
 
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Schools vary on whether "where else are you applying?" is fair to ask or not. It's not at my school.

The genetics question posed to you makes me think that you mentioned it somewhere in your app. Why else would the interviewer ask? Was he/she just lucky in that you carry a particular trait? IF you did indeed mention this in your app, it's fair game to ask about.

My stock answer to OP is that if any of you think an interviewer crosses a line, then you need to tell the Admissions dean. It's the only way the system can fix itself.

I interviewed at five schools and had two interviews where illegal questions were asked. One was "what other schools are you applying to?"--I didn't mind answering that one so much and did so truthfully, but I decided that that school was a little unprofessional, although that is the most common "illegal" interview question. I answered truthfully because that's just what I do, but in hindsight, I think the best thing to do is to simply say that you would only attend an interview at that school if you were interested in matriculation there.

The other question (a little more interesting and certainly more illegal) was whether I had any "surprising" genetics, say for [a particular condition that runs in my family, for this example we'll call it Huntington's Disease although it is not]. This physician was a geneticist at and a dean and should've known better, but I did not file a grievance. I believe it stemmed from her looking in depth into my family history, which I think is probably okay, but I wish that she did not ask me that question because it threw me off and spoiled an otherwise good impression of that school.

It is absolutely unethical to ask an applicant if they have the genetics for Huntington's Disease or any other genetic vulnerability that a parent might have, even if there is only a 50% chance of having the condition if I have the particular genetics. I do know my status and I am heterozygous, but I did not want to make the interview about me defending my genetic fitness to become a physician. I am of the opinion that physicians have a duty to test themselves for certain vulnerabilities to disease since it could potentially affect patient care and disclose it if prompted (especially if asked by the military or residency boards), but a disorder with incomplete penetrance (I only have somewhere around a 5% chance of having this problem and would get treated if it ever came up) should not be grounds for an interview question.
 
Hi all,

As an older female applicant (at least this is why I suspect I get asked these...) I routinely find that I get asked questions that I find uncomfortable, and in many cases are actually not legal. For example, I've been asked in the past what my plans for children are, if I'm married, or how I will handle medicine as a woman whose "biological clock must be ticking."

I am wondering if anyone can suggest the appropriate response to these questions. While I feel it may be my right to either politely decline to answer or even report such questions to the university, I also worry that doing so will negatively impact me.

How should I handle this?

Thanks!
Here is what you say to shut them up about your personal life:

I can't have kids.

I said that - they moves onto the next (non-personal) question real fast.

Irony - 4 months later, my OBGYN tells me I probably can't have kids :/
 
Here is what you say to shut them up about your personal life:

I can't have kids.

I said that - they moves onto the next (non-personal) question real fast.

Irony - 4 months later, my OBGYN tells me I probably can't have kids :/

That took guts, did you get in to that school?
 
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