How would you deal with this?

Discussion in 'Medical Students - DO' started by Ryan, Mar 22, 2002.

  1. Hey everyone, this may sound a little bit off the wall, but my grandma, grandpa and to a certain extent my mom, absolutely despise that fact that I am going to DO school instead of MD. I am starting AZCOM this fall. I have been through this time and time again with all of them, and they can not seem to deal with it. Everyone else in my family is really supportive. Heck, our family doctor is a DO, needless to say, my mom doesn't go to him. Anyways, I chose to go to DO school, didnt even apply to any allopathic programs. As I research it, it just felt right, so that is the way I went. I know that I should not be worried about what others think, but this is my family, I am very close to all of them, and I want their good blessings. Anyone who has had experiences like this your input on how you dealt with is will be much appreciated. Thanks, Ryan.
     
  2. drusso

    Physician Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor Classifieds Approved 10+ Year Member

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    I'd try to find out what drives their animosity towards DO's so much and patiently educate them. Also, the best way to introduce someone to osteopathic medicine is wait until there's an opportunity to treat them with OMT. Sooner or later your mom, dad, or some other family member will throw their back out and you'll be able to do some OMT and provide great relief.
     
  3. titan

    titan Senior Member
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    Ryan,

    I too will be joining you at AZCOM, and I too have grandparents who questioned my choice to go DO. My mom works for a group of MD's and DO's so she has been pretty OK with it. She basically has just asked me if I will have the same opportunities as a DO. Other than that she is very suppoortive and proud. My grandpa had some bad experiences with DO's as a youngster so I think he is against it. You know how the older generation sticks to what they believe no matter how much I try to explain to them how things have changed. But, either they have accepted it and are happy for me, or they are just choosing not to talk about it....I think it's the former cause we don't talk about it much anymore. I think my whole family realizes that I have a good head on my shoulders and that if I think this is the best thing for me then they are behind me 100%. Ole' grandpa is just stuck in his ways and I don't fault him for that. As a whole they all realize that I am going to medical school, that I am going to be a doctor, and that I can be any doctor that I choose to be. Understanding these three things makes them very happy for me, and proud of me!!! I think your family will come around.....but don't start questioning your decision to go DO, because AZCOM is a great school and it will provide us with some great opportunities. What worries me is the EXTREME debt that we will accrue :( <img border="0" alt="[Wowie]" title="" src="graemlins/wowie.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Wowie]" title="" src="graemlins/wowie.gif" /> !

    E-mail me if you want to talk about this any more...
     
  4. Thanks for the response guys. I have done a lot to educate them, it is mostly my grandma and my mom. Every time I bring something up, they try to shoot done the profession, for example, the other day I printed an article about Apollo Anoton Ohno's physician, and how he treated Apollo without using any drugs to aid in his olymic performance, all my grandma could say was some nonsense about how the problem with "this type of medicine" was that the drug companies are in charge, and w/o them you are no where. Ha Ha. Titan, you hit the nail on the head, all my grandma keeps saying is that she is from the old school. I know that they are so supportive of me, and I appreciate it so much, but for some reason they are all caught up in the preceived, higher level of prestige with the letters MD behind your name, I think this is what is driving most of their doubts. They are worried about how people will look at me with the letters DO behind mine. I would never question my desire to go DO, I know that this is the right way for me, and I know I will get a wonderful education at AZCOM, and become a wonderful physician, despite the debt, man it is expensive.
     
  5. tjmemtp

    tjmemtp Junior Member
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  6. tjmemtp

    tjmemtp Junior Member
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    Ryan,
    Give them a copy of the book by Norman Gevitz, The DO's Osteopathic Medicine in America. I am just finishing the second chapter and I have never learned so much about the advent of medicine in general. This year I applied to both MD and DO programs and should I not get in again this year after reading this book I would not go the allopathic route again. By the way I am reading this book because I didn't get into any MD schools and I am on the alternate list at CCOM and I really want to attend.

    tjmemtp
     
  7. jhug

    jhug 1K Member
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    ry,
    i feel for you-- i have two older brothers that tried and failed to get into med school so they can be pretty bad as well. Knowing we share some similar beliefs i can tell you this w/o sounding stupid!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> I hit on the feelings thing-- i told them i prayed about it and know this is what i'm going to do and nothing you say/do will change the answer i've been given-- then i told them that when they come to me for stuff in the future i wouldn't hold this against them :) that seemed to quiet them up. All in all, be sure of the decision yourself and then they will come. This is a real life decision, and one that will enable us to help a lot of people-- you bet there is a bit of inspiration/direction in there somewhere!!! Best to you!!!
     
  8. Aloha Kid

    Aloha Kid Senior Member
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    Ryan,

    It looks like your family needs to trust you more as an individual. Let them know what some of your goals are and how Osteopathic medicine will help you acheive them. Let them know that you are not on drugs and that you sincerely feel this route will allow you to accomplish the most with your LIFE. When your family can begin to see that you have your head on straight and that you are trying to make right decisions in you LIFE, they will begin to respect and trust your decisions more. Let them know that you are trying to become the best doctor and person possible.

    Respect their opinions even though a lot of them may be off-based. In return they should also respect your opinions as well.

    As people we always tend to have our flaws. We want a nice car and yet we forget that sometimes no matter what kind of car it is, it'll get us from point A to point B. I can definitely promise you that being a DO will get you from point A to B. The vehicle may not be a porche, but it still works. When the journey is over, you'll realize two things. First, you made it and you are alive and well. Second, you've gone 100 miles further than the porche becasue you have better gas mileage.

    Relax and be happy.

    You soon to be senior classmate

    Aloha Kid AZCOM MSI
     
  9. lala1979

    lala1979 Junior Member
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    Hey there
    I am kind of the reverse situation as you. My mom is encouraging me to go DO instead of MD. After NYCOM came to my school, I told her all about it(before she did not really know about it) I gave her some literature and things they gave us. All the sudden after that, she was finding out about her friends, and her sister's doctor was a DO, my mom had always been skeptical of doctors for some strange reaon in general, but after she talked with them about their physicians they told her nothing but good things about them. They absolutely loved their DOs. Since then my mom is very familiar with what DOs are and do, and every time I mention medical school she exclaims "you better go DO"
    I think if you maybe provide them with literature on Osteopathhic Medicine take it from there. It seems once people are educated about it they are really interested about it. Good luck:) But in the end only do what is going to make you happy, bc it's your life.
     
  10. nebaker

    nebaker Member
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    Hey Ryan!

    I know exactly where you are coming from. I have a grandmother who is completely opposed to me being a DO. I get comments like "why aren't you trying to be a REAL doctor?" or "I know you are smart enough to be a real doctor" I've also heard her talking to my aunt and them saying that my program doesn't sound like the program from a REAL med school because we only have classes for 2 years and then go out on rotations. I interjected and explained that my schedule was a traditional medical school (not just DO) schedule and they didn't seem to believe me.

    The worst part is that my grandmother has grown up and lived most of her life in Northeast, MO. The birthplace and osteopathic medicine!

    Like you, my family has always gone to a DO. Whem my mother was pregnant with me, and had her exams from a DO, my grandmother would call her on the days of her appointments. My grandmother would find out everything the DO told my mother and then her MD and ask if everything the DO said was correct. Guess what? It was. But that had no effect on my grandmother's preceptions of DOs.

    Anyway, this is how I have dealt with it. First I tried education, like has been suggested in earlier posts. I found out just how stubborn old people were. No matter what I said or what facts I presented, she wasn't going to change her mind. Then, when she made bad comments about my profession I would simply tell her that she was hurting my feelings. I think that got her. If she said anything else, I would simply leave the room. I think that made a big impact as well.

    She doesn't make comments anymore and I think I have gotten her to think a bit more about it, just because I think she understand how much what she was saying was upsetting me.

    Now, at family functions, I give medical advice (like I really know anything, but everyone has a question) and do OMM on people. Most are very accepting of DOs and I think they try to help me out by telling me how good they feel afterwards. Now, my grandma watched me give treatments. I think she is seeing that they stuff I learn works.

    I don't think she will EVER see a DO or completly accept what I am doing but I have the feeling that now she may be trying.

    Hope that helps.
     
  11. Nebaker,
    Your situation sounds very similar to mine. I think I have gone as far as I can in the education department as well. I have brought articles, books, and curriculum comparisons, stubbornness is definitely the correct word. I do think I may have to play the feelings card a little more, that is until I can start explaining by example (ie OMM, and the rest of my medical education I will recieve). Thanks for the advice, maybe, our respective families will come around some day as we continue to show our ability to care for people through this wonderful practice of medicine. It makes me feel so good to know that I am joining a group of people that are as receptive as all of you, as well as reassuring my desire to become a DO. Thanks. Keep posting, the advice is great, and may serve to help some others that are in the same situation.

    Ryan
     
  12. drchrislareau

    drchrislareau Member
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    Tell them that President Nixon's and Vice President Rockefeller's personal physicians were D.O.s who used OMT on these famous people on a regular basis. (Rockefeller donated the land on which is built my alma mater --NYCOM-- in Old Westbury, New York.) The former Surgeon General of the U.S. Army was a D.O. as is the Physician General of the state of Pennsylvania.
     
  13. Dr JPH

    Dr JPH Membership Revoked
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    Which former Surgeon General?
     
  14. drchrislareau

    drchrislareau Member
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    Ronald Blanck (a PCOM grad) was Surgeon General of the U.S. Army. See <a href="http://www.armymedicine.army.mil/history/tsgs/Blanck.htm" target="_blank">this link</a> for more info.
     
  15. nebaker

    nebaker Member
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    if you wanna name-drop famous DOs don't forget Sam Shepard, you know "The fugitive." He attended KCOM for his first two years and then ended up graduating from med school somewhere in California before he started practicing in ohio where the murder took place.

    He may be more infamous than famous but he was considered a wonderful doctor.

    nebaker :cool:
     
  16. drchrislareau

    drchrislareau Member
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    You mean Sam Shepard, M.D.?
     
  17. TCOMwife

    TCOMwife New Member

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    btw..Dr. Blanck is currently the president of UNT Health Science Center (TCOM).
     
  18. themedic

    themedic Junior Member
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    Here are a couple of quotations that I think may be helpful....

    "There will always be those whose built-in sense of inferiority will lead them into dangerous personal and professional waters.

    There will always be those whose feeling of inferiority is an actuality rather than a complex.

    They will try to protect their actual inferiority by false status symbols.

    True status is earned, not granted.

    The measure of a physician is not a matter of degree but a matter of service.

    Neither an M.D. degree nor a D.O. degree makes a
    physician--it merely identifies him.

    And the physician who seeks status rather than
    knowledge worships at the feet of a false god and prostitutes his ability for service."

    --George W. Northup, D.O.

    This one is just really funny (explaining why some MDs look down on DOs)!!!!!:

    Jealousy, plain and simple. with a little anger thrown in for good measure...do you know how many MDs have lost their wives to DOs? Billions. Once those trophy-wives realize what us DOs can do with our hands, they drop the MDs faster than GW can snort a line of columbia's finest

    at least, that's what I've heard

    (From someone on SDN Forums)
     
  19. miami

    miami Junior Member
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    My step mom also wanted me to go to a MD school. This is what changed her mind. Her aunt was Dx with breast ca and my step mom asked around for the best Heme/Onc breast ca doc where they live (near west palm) She went to the doctor and loved her. At the end of the visit she said that her stepson was in medical school. She started to say that "He tried to get into a MD school but had to go to a DO school at Nova instead". The doc said to her "I am a DO and I went to NOVA, its a great school" She never questioned my profession again. My grandmother (a retired nurse) had similar negative beliefs when I started NOVA. The fact is that DO's were treated like 2nd class doctors 30 years ago and are just now starting to gain the respect that they deserve. Her attitude soon changed with a little education and when she realized that most of here "condo buddies" in Florida go to a DO for medical care. My advice to you would be to give it time and develop some thick skin. Don't get angry, just try to educate people. Our profession is going in the right direction and educating the public about our profession without putting down MD's is the key to the success of the DO profession. Good luck. I hope this helps.

    Miami MSIV NSUCOM
     
  20. DOcjoshua

    DOcjoshua Member
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    First of all congratulations on being accepted. I will be starting at the Chicago partner to AZCOM in the fall. I can't really relate with your problem because my family has been pretty supportive and is always behind me, they just want what is best. I don't know if you have tried this publication but try giving them a copy of "The Difference a D.O. Makes" by Bob Jones. It was originally written in 1979 and was updated with a millenium edition with new figures and statistics. The author was not a D.O. and it is written in a way that any lay person could understand. Had I read this book before applying I don't think I would have applied to one allopathic school. The book made me think why anyone interested in medicine would not want to become an Osteopathic Physician. Good luck in your medical career and hopefully your stubborn family members will come around and eventually see the light.

    Josh
    CCOM '06
     
  21. hosskp1

    hosskp1 Senior Member
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    I have friends that tell me this kind of thing aabout their parents, but not about the school,, about wives, girlfriends, hobbies, sports, cars and all other crap. Tell your parents you will do whatever you want, you are an adult-- and you will act like it. I can tell you want to be a DO-- that should be good enough. Do not argue, fight, moan, just ignore, leave and whatever else you want.
     
  22. nebaker

    nebaker Member
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    Sam shepard was and MD, but he attended KCOM for his first two years. According to my information, family problems forced him to leave KCOM and transfer to a different school.
     

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