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I am sure that I am not the only one but just have to vent.

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - MD' started by FattySlug, Aug 9, 2011.

  1. FattySlug

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    I think I am gonna lose it if the next person I talk to tells me "don't worry you will get in." Every time I am on the phone with my dad he would start talking about the future starting of with "when you start school next year..." With my average stats I got a 50-50 chance of getting in and everybody around me seems to think it is all going to be a walk in the park. I wish I could somehow hide the fact that I am applying from people around me but it is impossible.
     
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  3. Whatyousay

    Whatyousay A few loose screws
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    Do you expect them to say "Get ready to reapply?"
     
  4. MSU2009

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    Cheer up bro, you'll get in.


    Srs answer: People are going to wish you the best; it just means they care. :)
     
  5. Deathstar

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    You won't get in.
     
  6. kexy

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    I feel your pain.
    Solution: show everyone the absurdly depressing stats in the MSAR. My boyfriend was always like, "You'll get in somewhere." Then I made him flip through the MSAR. Now he gets it.
     
  7. HH Holmes

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    That's how parents are... They think their kids are the best, no matter what. Happened the (kind of) same way when I was applying to college. According to my mother, Columbia, Duke and Emory would be 'stupid' not to take me (I was ~20 percentile, if that).

    Keep your head up, and just know they care.
     
  8. tn4596

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    Not mine, my mother always say I am a failure.
     
  9. Deathstar

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    You can't have parents sugar coating everything. Sometimes you have to just take it and face reality.
     
  10. MSU2009

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    You are gonna turn out just like your brother did.. Now get off SDN and study already.

    Love,
    Mom
     
  11. torshi

    torshi Squirrel
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    if you applied very smart then you have a chance. Applying to a lot of D.O schools doesn't hurt
     
  12. Whatyousay

    Whatyousay A few loose screws
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    If you're depressed with a 3.9 cGPA, the rest of us might as well start applying to McDonald's :laugh:
     
  13. FattySlug

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    They don't think I am the best but they surely underestimate this whole process and I don't have the energy to explain things to them. The only silver lining: they haven't told my relatives how I am going to start medical school next year.
     
  14. Slowpoke

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    One of my letter writers is so sure that I am going to get in somewhere that when I told her my excitement for my first interview, she kind of brushed it off and asked where it ranked on my list. Verbatim she said "have I heard of that school before? mhmm", "that will be one of many, there will be more interviews for you, I am sure!"

    Although I am ecstatic that she has great confidence in me, I have to remember that not everyone is aware of the crapshoot that this admissions process is. For those wondering, Jefferson or any school that I applied to IS my top choice because...

    All I need is one.

    Mark my word.

    One.
     
  15. StephanieZ

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    I understand completely. That's why I keep coming back to SDN. Nobody sugar coats anything here. If your are feeling a bit over-confident with average stats, nobody will hesitate to knock you down a few pegs.

    My biggest problem is nobody around me seems to understand what it takes to get into med school. Everyone is very reassuring that they want me to go to medical school, but when I tell them I plan on volunteering X amount of hours this summer, or shadowing, etc. they seem to think it's pointless.
     
  16. 1TB4RKSB4CK

    1TB4RKSB4CK wussup doge
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    I'd rather have someone say something positive than negative. There's already too much negativity in this world.
     
  17. iceman132

    iceman132 Membership Revoked
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    Would you rather have them tell you that you're terrible and you'll never get in?

    You're lucky to have parents like that.

    Treat school like some guys treat women. Never give up... Until the restraining order comes up.
     
  18. Stumpyman

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    Then only people who know I'm pre med (besides the people who read this) are my 3 family members (parents+ younger brother). For the chance that I don't get in, I just don't think I could live through all my relatives and friends looking at me as a failure. I just tell 'em I'm going to be a biomedical engineer (one of the perks of biomed E :) ).
     
  19. nysw

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    OP, I totally know what you mean. All of my friends tell me that - and it's great that they believe in me, but at the same time, it's so frustrating because I feel like I'm going to let them down/they'll look down on me if I don't get in.
    At least we're being realistic? A couple of my friends are premed and planning to submit their apps in October.. and they think that they have a really good shot at Texas schools. :/
     
  20. Goblue89

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    I know how you feel. Nothing is more frustrating to me than people giving false encouragement. Especially when it is coming from peers who have already gotten in. But in all honesty its not going to stop so learn to deal with it.
    P.S. Its even worse if you are a re-applicant
     
  21. Launcelot

    Launcelot Lord of the Flies
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    You shouldn't be mad at their ignorance, you can't blame them, they only want whats best for you and they themselves have not been down that road themselves.

    inb4 "lol u mad"
     
  22. hiyaman

    Physician 7+ Year Member

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    Parents do that to try to make you feel less stress I think. It's always reassuring when someone shows some faith in you.
     
  23. cal2012

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    Yep, even if they don't get the whole process, they're just trying to be supportive :)

    ...

    ...though I was just a LITTLE peeved today when my dad started going on about full-ride scholarships...we'll see dad, we'll see...
     
  24. TheMightySmiter

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    My family and friends are the exact same way. I love that they're supportive, but sometimes it's even more nerve-racking that they think the med school admissions process is just a walk in the park. I'm constantly getting, "So when do you hear about med school?" as if it's just a simple process. "Oh, don't worry, you'll get in somewhere." My solution to this is just to tell people the average percent acceptance rate for individual schools, just so they have a better idea of what I'm up against.
     
  25. ponyo

    ponyo 人魚姫
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    This is why I hate talking to people who are at HMS/Johns/UCSF/Yale...
     
  26. Barcu

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    Meh. That's how it works. And it's only gonna get worse as the cycle goes on so get used to it.

    And to defend those who try and give you hope after they get in. Unless they're being a jerk about it, cut them some slack. They are in a good position, but it gets real awkward, real fast when you have an acceptance and your friends don't. Should they say nothing and ignore the situation? That doesn't help.
     
  27. I hear that sometimes too and it is annoying sometimes. But you know, there's an entire thread for venting: http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=405300

    maybe you can commiserate with those guys (but not the kid who is crying about a 77, that kid is just a lamer)
     
  28. jhamaican

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    take it easy man. Your dad is just trying to be supportive.
     
  29. nctw

    nctw "Don't give up…don't ever give up."
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    The problem is that most people don't understand how difficult the process is. I had someone tell me "all you need to be accepted is a 3.5, you'll be fine":bang:

    The only person I met who has been reasonable about the whole process was my aunt's friend. Her daughter had a cGPA of 3.7 (not sure about sGPA) at Baylor and 31 MCAT. She applied to 10 or so schools and didn't even get a single interview. I was shocked till I heard she followed the advice "GPA and MCAT only." She didn't have any shadowing or clinical experience, and her ECs were mediocre. She's going to PA school now.

    OP, encouragement is better than "Let me get the Walmart app for you"
     
  30. Perrotfish

    Perrotfish Has an MD in Horribleness
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    There aren't just two options here. What you want is a response that is positive, but a vaguer way that doesn't actually make any predctions. What you want to hear is something that reminds you of how much you've already accomplished, reminds you that even if things don't work out it just means a delay rather than a defeat, and which makes the admissions process (win or lose) seem like less of a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Failing that, I'd settle for 'good luck'.

    'You'll definitely get in', though, is a little too prophetic, and flies a little too much in the face of reality. It forces that rational, scientific of part of your mind to argue, because it doesn't like hearing things that are flat out wrong. However the emotional part of your mind was trying to avoid thinking about those exact arguments. That's why people get angry when they hear positive predictions stated as facts. It dredges up anxieties we put a lot of effort into suppressing.

    BTW this never ends. I'm applying for residency now. My family is sure they'll take me.
     
    #29 Perrotfish, Aug 10, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2011
  31. n3xa

    n3xa "the anchor"
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    Tune people out. Put on your headphones and hit the gym. Or go for a walk/run in the sunshine. It works wonders.

    Surround yourself with positive people that can carry on conversations about everything BUT applications or can severely limit the application talk. It's going to be a long, stressful year and it's important to maintain your sanity as best as possible.

    This is also going to be a great exercise for what's to come, as people are always going to be constantly chatting and comparing themselves to everyone else.
     
  32. Hoegaarden

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    Honestly, I joined SDN just to respond to this post, although I've been reading it for a long time.

    I understand you can't keep your applications from your family/close friends/relationship.

    But, not as close friends, co-workers, etc....you can definitely not tell them. It's a good lesson in humility too. I work at an office job right now and because our store's cashier randomly quit, I had to go in for the day to cover as a favor to my boss. When I got there, the people who worked there asked if I was a student and I told them I had just graduated. They laughed and said "Welcome to the world of minimum wage"

    I could have been an a**hole and said "Actually, I don't make minimum wage and I'm applying to med schools" but i just shut my mouth and said "yeah, i know, right"


    It is frustrating though.
     
  33. docmayer

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    I know exactly what you mean, I hate it...not that I don't like the encouragement but I am not in medical school, and in reality it is going to be very hard to and I don't like hearing family tell people that "I'm going to be a doctor" and that "I'm studying to be a doctor", because I am still far from it and it may not happen...gets annoying
     
  34. mark1989

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    Everybody said I would do great on the mcat too. Uhhhh not so much
     
  35. mitchlucker

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    That's what happens when you tell people your goals. Plus it's something to talk about.

    What really annoys me is when people say things like "Man I shouldn't of done that"

    of done? really?

    Or "I could care less"

    Oh, you can care less than you care now? So it means you care a little bit about what you're talking about?
     
  36. mark1989

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    Did this come from a mcat vebal passage?
     
  37. 1TB4RKSB4CK

    1TB4RKSB4CK wussup doge
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    I didn't mean it in a way in which someone is saying "dude, you are going to get in no problem." But yeah, I do get were you are saying. Congrats anyways, I have a long way to go, what residency are you doing?
     
  38. mitchlucker

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    No, just everyday conversations and facebook status updates.
     
  39. isoquin

    isoquin Allopathetic
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    Take it one step at a time, and let it be known that you really don't want to talk about it. If you have to, let people know that you are doing the smart thing and making a backup plan.
     
  40. Drogo

    Drogo hakuna matata
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    Honestly, nowadays the only people I really get indepth about anything related to medical school or how rigorous the whole process is from mastering the prereqs and MCAT to fulfilling a schools ideals is well mostly just professionals in the medical field and competent premed advisors.

    With family, coworkers and friends I am now choosing to not bring up the topic as much as possible. I'm learning more and more that I just need to stay focused and discuss what it truly takes to get from point A to point B with someone who knows 80-90% more than the general public. I'd rather save my time and stay low key then discuss details with most of my family and friends; and the only exception being friends or other students who are genuinely interested in going this route also.

    When people ask me what I'm planning to go into I just say, "I'm just volunteering/shadowing and getting some insight into some careers that interest me". I just don't want to be 'that guy' who says "I'm going to be a doctor" like it's not that hard and have others butter me up with superficial comments and advice.

    I enjoy the reality checks from what I read and hear from others for we all know, no matter how good you are there's always people out there working even harder to achieve their goals.
     
  41. twentyone

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    Sounds like a case of Special Snowflake Syndrome by Proxy.
     
  42. dmf2682

    Removed Rocket Scientist 2+ Year Member

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    It's not so bleak as long as you apply broadly.

    Given
    N = number of schools applied to
    P= probability of being accepted at a given school

    If you assume you stand a paltry 3% chance and apply at 30 places, your chance of getting in nowhere is
    Pnowhere = (1-p)^N = (1-0.03)^30 = .401

    This means your chance of getting into at least one school is

    P anywhere = 1-p nowhere = .599 or 59.9%

    Conservative assumptions. You'll do fine
     
  43. FattySlug

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    ?
     
  44. bonoboMD

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    my mom has been telling me that harvard would be crazy not to accept me since i was in middle school. she was none too pleased that I did not apply there for undergrad and saw medical school applications as another chance! the fact that harvard mailed me a generic letter inviting me to apply (just because i am a minority) fueled her madness and all i can say is THANK GOD i only took 1 semester of calculus in college!

    PS: don't get me wrong, i know that she means well!
     
  45. MeatTornado

    MeatTornado On Sabbatical
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  46. Elpenor

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    Don't worry OP you probably won't get in anyways.

    After a couple cycles you'll find what you really want to do
     
  47. Druggernaut

    Physician Lifetime Donor Classifieds Approved 10+ Year Member

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    I had a professor tell me that in only marginally nicer words when I asked for a LOR. I got sick of all the blindly positive statements by everyone too, but man, that was uncomfortable.
     

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