I am too ultra competitive, help!

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kentuckyman

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Does anybody else have a problem with being way too competitive?

Now, I don't consider myself a gunner, but in undergrad I found myself being way too competitive with other med students that were applying to the same schools I was. I actually stopped hanging out with some friends because when I heard how great their grades were and how many great extracurriculars they had done it made me freak out and feel like I needed to do more. It also made me feel inadequate and awkward so I alienated myself from them.

Now, we have all gotten in to the same med school, and I find myself being friends with them all over again.

How can I avoid this when applying to residencies, as my group of friends and I are all planning on applying to derm (if we get descent board scores, etc..), which is super competitive? I can see myself in a year or two becoming way too competitive and ruining these friendships again.

I am wacked out, I know. But I seem to not be able to help it. Any advice? Anyone else feel this way?

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Okay I was just looking for some advice. It's amazing how some people are so anxious to pull out the trolling card. I am not trolling for anything. If you think I'm trolling than ignore my post.
 
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Okay I was just looking for some advice. It's amazing how some people are so anxious to pull out the trolling card. I am not trolling for anything. If you think I'm trolling than ignore my post.

So we have ruled out a troll post. Good :)

First, unless your class has only 20 people and 12 are your friends, you can all just work very hard and all squeeze into the top 10%.

Second, if you all want to do derm at this point, most likely some will change their minds.

Third, I hate to teach people to care more about themselves than their friends, but you need to have your priorities.
 
So we have ruled out a troll post. Good :)

First, unless your class has only 20 people and 12 are your friends, you can all just work very hard and all squeeze into the top 10%.

Second, if you all want to do derm at this point, most likely some will change their minds.

Third, I hate to teach people to care more about themselves than their friends, but you need to have your priorities.

Thanks. I appreciate your input!
 
how does ultra compare to super?
 
You need to relax have a beer or get laid, actually you need both.
 
Does anybody else have a problem with being way too competitive?

Now, I don't consider myself a gunner, but in undergrad I found myself being way too competitive with other med students that were applying to the same schools I was. I actually stopped hanging out with some friends because when I heard how great their grades were and how many great extracurriculars they had done it made me freak out and feel like I needed to do more. It also made me feel inadequate and awkward so I alienated myself from them.

Now, we have all gotten in to the same med school, and I find myself being friends with them all over again.

How can I avoid this when applying to residencies, as my group of friends and I are all planning on applying to derm (if we get descent board scores, etc..), which is super competitive? I can see myself in a year or two becoming way too competitive and ruining these friendships again.

I am wacked out, I know. But I seem to not be able to help it. Any advice? Anyone else feel this way?


The nice thing about medical school is that if you are taking care of your own business, there isn't much time to be concerned with what others are doing. If you have some chums, then great. If not, you still have to keep your own "house" in order.

If you are applying to derm, you can only be concerned with what you do. Either your work is adequate or inadequate and what others have done or achieved plays no role in whether you get into that specialty/residency or not.

If you are worrying about the grades of other folks, you have way too much time on your hands. Take up a research project or something that will further your career because comparing yourself to others isn't going to get you anywhere.
 
Does anybody else have a problem with being way too competitive?

Now, I don't consider myself a gunner, but in undergrad I found myself being way too competitive with other med students that were applying to the same schools I was. I actually stopped hanging out with some friends because when I heard how great their grades were and how many great extracurriculars they had done it made me freak out and feel like I needed to do more. It also made me feel inadequate and awkward so I alienated myself from them.

Now, we have all gotten in to the same med school, and I find myself being friends with them all over again.

How can I avoid this when applying to residencies, as my group of friends and I are all planning on applying to derm (if we get descent board scores, etc..), which is super competitive? I can see myself in a year or two becoming way too competitive and ruining these friendships again.

I am wacked out, I know. But I seem to not be able to help it. Any advice? Anyone else feel this way?


My opinion. Ignore if you want to.

1. You enjoy being competitve. You like to win.

2. You are either intentionally or subconsciously setting yourself up for the same scenario again. Derm.

3. Your confidence level is low and/or you really, really need to win. When you feel threatened you will isolate yourself .
This is about the time you will stop hanging out with them, as soon as you see them as a threat.
If you crush them in all your classes you won't stop hanging out with them.
Is there anything necessarily wrong with that. Not really. That's what most gunners do.

So, if you think there is a problem and want to change, all you need to do is see it through.
 
Okay I'll also add don't ask your friends what they got on a test/grade/board, then you won't have most of your problems. Then go out have a beer and try to get some.
 
Does anybody else have a problem with being way too competitive?

Now, I don't consider myself a gunner, but in undergrad I found myself being way too competitive with other med students that were applying to the same schools I was. I actually stopped hanging out with some friends because when I heard how great their grades were and how many great extracurriculars they had done it made me freak out and feel like I needed to do more. It also made me feel inadequate and awkward so I alienated myself from them.

Now, we have all gotten in to the same med school, and I find myself being friends with them all over again.

How can I avoid this when applying to residencies, as my group of friends and I are all planning on applying to derm (if we get descent board scores, etc..), which is super competitive? I can see myself in a year or two becoming way too competitive and ruining these friendships again.

I am wacked out, I know. But I seem to not be able to help it. Any advice? Anyone else feel this way?

Get over it . . . or don't

Seriously, why does this matter?
 
If you are worried about being competitive, don't talk about grades with other students. Feel like bragging? Tell your mom - she'll love to hear about how smart you are, anyway.

When you tell other students your scores one of two unpleasant things can happen.

1) You beat them - they resent you
2) They beat you - you resent them

In the best of worlds, with the best of colleagues, no one resents anyone, but if you want to avoid both scenarios above, try not to scratch that itch. It's hard to resist scratching, but if you leave it alone, the urge to scratch will be less and less.
 
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As many others have said, don't talk about scores with your friends. I developed several very good friendships during first year and I never once asked any of them what they scored on a test or what their grade was for a theme. One of my buddies asked me once early on, but after I basically refused to tell him he stopped asking. I too am a very competitive person, but you can't control what other people score. Take care of your own crap academically and when you're around your friends just enjoy their company and have a good time. Sitting around with a couple beers on a Friday night and talking about your test scores is not how to enjoy your friends.
 
Not sure about the whole you and all your friends applying to derm thing, but let me offer some advice.

One way to avoid the problems with gunning or whatever you want to call it, is to have process goals instead of outcome goals. Don't compare yourself to others or even to grades for that matter. You can focus on things like being prepared for class, keeping good notes, reviewing your notes etc. If you have a sound study process, this will allow you to do as well as you are currently capable. The theory is that by reducing some of the self induced stress of these goals, you will relax and in turn produce your best results. It's counterintuitive for some, but give it a try.

There are whole fields of psychology that deal with this area.
One book I'd recommend is "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns. It is written for the lay person. The chapter on perfectionism might be applicable.
 
I find people tend to mellow with age, or they burn out and end up working at a free clinic somewhere.
 
And out of the ashes of shattered friendships, a gunner was born:
PhoenixRising.jpg
 
Do what I do. Become really good friends with all those that are better than you. Then once you are good enough friends to hang out with them one on one slip them some roofies and while they are asleep perform a craniotomy and scramble their hippocampus. If you are really good they will never know.
 
Do what I do. Become really good friends with all those that are better than you. Then once you are good enough friends to hang out with them one on one slip them some roofies and while they are asleep perform a craniotomy and scramble their hippocampus. If you are really good they will never know.

:thumbup::thumbup:
 
Do what I do. Become really good friends with all those that are better than you. Then once you are good enough friends to hang out with them one on one slip them some roofies and while they are asleep perform a craniotomy and scramble their hippocampus. If you are really good they will never know.

And you will be really good because... after all... you are ultra-competitive.
 
Does anybody else have a problem with being way too competitive?

Now, I don't consider myself a gunner, but in undergrad I found myself being way too competitive with other med students that were applying to the same schools I was. I actually stopped hanging out with some friends because when I heard how great their grades were and how many great extracurriculars they had done it made me freak out and feel like I needed to do more. It also made me feel inadequate and awkward so I alienated myself from them.

Now, we have all gotten in to the same med school, and I find myself being friends with them all over again.

How can I avoid this when applying to residencies, as my group of friends and I are all planning on applying to derm (if we get descent board scores, etc..), which is super competitive? I can see myself in a year or two becoming way too competitive and ruining these friendships again.

I am wacked out, I know. But I seem to not be able to help it. Any advice? Anyone else feel this way?
You need to step your confidence game up. Why are you letting another student's performance affect you? Don't worry about them. You just do the best you can do and that's it.

Listen to lil wayne, the dude has the confidence of a giant.
 
don't let those p---ies slow u down, bury em. Isn't that what you really wanted to hear?
 
Does anybody else have a problem with being way too competitive?

Now, I don't consider myself a gunner, but in undergrad I found myself being way too competitive with other med students that were applying to the same schools I was. I actually stopped hanging out with some friends because when I heard how great their grades were and how many great extracurriculars they had done it made me freak out and feel like I needed to do more. It also made me feel inadequate and awkward so I alienated myself from them.

Now, we have all gotten in to the same med school, and I find myself being friends with them all over again.

How can I avoid this when applying to residencies, as my group of friends and I are all planning on applying to derm (if we get descent board scores, etc..), which is super competitive? I can see myself in a year or two becoming way too competitive and ruining these friendships again.

I am wacked out, I know. But I seem to not be able to help it. Any advice? Anyone else feel this way?

dude...

Get over yourself. You're no Michael Phelps. Face it... you're just another face in the crowd, there are thousands of 'wackos' like you. You already know you'll do derm, and this smacks of lemming-like mentality that most medical students develop, and which propels them toward certain specialties. Have you even START medschool yet? If you haven't, believe me you're in for quite a shock. Maybe reality will make you rethink your 'competitiveness'.

Besides... if you were truly competitive, you would not be here asking for any advice.
 
Hilarious, this guy and his friends are like two minutes into first year and they already know they are going "DERM". It's unlikely any of them have any experience in derm but hey, that's what super smart people do right? Who cares if you really like derm, if you want people to know how much better you are than them, it is imperative you do dermatology.
 
And the ironic thing is, if you're at kentucky, good luck getting into derm. Theres not even a derm department at UK and no derm residents!
 
Hilarious, this guy and his friends are like two minutes into first year and they already know they are going "DERM". It's unlikely any of them have any experience in derm but hey, that's what super smart people do right? Who cares if you really like derm, if you want people to know how much better you are than them, it is imperative you do dermatology.

i have to admit, the whole "my group of friends and i all want to do derm" made me throw up in my mouth a little bit, especially just starting first year. warning...rough road ahead my friend.
 
Hilarious, this guy and his friends are like two minutes into first year and they already know they are going "DERM". It's unlikely any of them have any experience in derm but hey, that's what super smart people do right? Who cares if you really like derm, if you want people to know how much better you are than them, it is imperative you do dermatology.
Fuk that. People that do derm are *******. Real super competitive people do ortho spine. That will really show your friends whos the fukin boss.

http://www.allied-physicians.com/salary_surveys/physician-salaries.htm
 
please, relax and enjoy med school
 
Since my forum got moved, I might as well post my take here:

**Help, I'm worried that I'm too amazing, help**


I could really use some help here, even though I don't know any of you personally and am unfortunately (for you) much better than all of you anyway.

The issue I'm having is that I think (i.e. know) that I'm just too perfect. I'm worried (i.e. totally confident) that I'm going to be so much better than everyone else in my 1st year class that I will challenge them so much they'll be driven to quit med school, abandon their dreams, and have to be janitors for the rest of their lives . . . in prisons . . . for leprosy patients . . in Siberia.

As it stands right now, after getting a 50 on my MCAT (secret extra credit obviously included in my score) and a 4.0 GPA after quadruple majoring in 2 years in physics, electrical engineering, international diplomacy, and physical education (did it on a dare) I'm concerned that this might be too easy. In addition, I'm planning on getting a 285 on Step 1 in 684 days (I've pre-studied this summer and have a 98% on USMLEWorld).

I really feel like I owe it to society to combine a residency in dermo-pathology with an integrated plastics-neurosurgery fellowship involving the tactical use of rockets. Is this attainable? Most of my friends have talked about this too, but I'm worried that I might not be able to out-gun them.

In terms of my gunner profile, right now I'm flying a stealth bomber with a flame on the side and a tied-back surgical cap on while controlling a battalion of tanks on the ground blowing up a family of puppies. This should give you a profile about where I'm at as I start orientation.

The real questions I have, I guess, is how you all manage to:
1) Get the residency you want (i.e. most competitive/lucrative regardless of interest) in as little time as possible?
2) Make your awesomeness known to everybody at school and prove to your professors what kind of intellectual losers they are
3) Crush your friends dreams while appearing kinda-sympathetic
4) Being so ridiculously smart, good looking, and badass all at the same time (you're not, I'm just trying to make you feel better and my only vice is revealing my true thoughts through the untimely use of parentheses)
 
You're not getting into derm. Cheers.
 
Since my forum got moved, I might as well post my take here:

**Help, I'm worried that I'm too amazing, help**


I could really use some help here, even though I don't know any of you personally and am unfortunately (for you) much better than all of you anyway.

The issue I'm having is that I think (i.e. know) that I'm just too perfect. I'm worried (i.e. totally confident) that I'm going to be so much better than everyone else in my 1st year class that I will challenge them so much they'll be driven to quit med school, abandon their dreams, and have to be janitors for the rest of their lives . . . in prisons . . . for leprosy patients . . in Siberia.

As it stands right now, after getting a 50 on my MCAT (secret extra credit obviously included in my score) and a 4.0 GPA after quadruple majoring in 2 years in physics, electrical engineering, international diplomacy, and physical education (did it on a dare) I'm concerned that this might be too easy. In addition, I'm planning on getting a 285 on Step 1 in 684 days (I've pre-studied this summer and have a 98% on USMLEWorld).

I really feel like I owe it to society to combine a residency in dermo-pathology with an integrated plastics-neurosurgery fellowship involving the tactical use of rockets. Is this attainable? Most of my friends have talked about this too, but I'm worried that I might not be able to out-gun them.

In terms of my gunner profile, right now I'm flying a stealth bomber with a flame on the side and a tied-back surgical cap on while controlling a battalion of tanks on the ground blowing up a family of puppies. This should give you a profile about where I'm at as I start orientation.

The real questions I have, I guess, is how you all manage to:
1) Get the residency you want (i.e. most competitive/lucrative regardless of interest) in as little time as possible?
2) Make your awesomeness known to everybody at school and prove to your professors what kind of intellectual losers they are
3) Crush your friends dreams while appearing kinda-sympathetic
4) Being so ridiculously smart, good looking, and badass all at the same time (you're not, I'm just trying to make you feel better and my only vice is revealing my true thoughts through the untimely use of parentheses)

There's an awesome thread on this in allo right now. Oh, and OP, c'mon:thumbdown:
 
Hey I'll give you some sympathy because I think that when it comes down to it most med students are a little bit screwed up when it comes to competition (if you want proof, just look at the emotions your post pulls out, lol)

The competitiveness you feel is probably not about your friends or the difficulty of the field you want to get into. The competitiveness probably has more to do with your worry that you wont get into the field you want, or the program you want, or the location you want etc. etc. etc. Worrying over your own inadequacy is a breeding ground for ridiculous behavior.

Just remember, at a certain point... there's not really any need to compete. You've made it this far. You work hard. You've learned to think. You probably have a history of good decisions and you've got to believe that you're not going to randomly begin making terrible ones. Sit back and generate a base of knowledge and do what you think is fun. You'll be a heck of a lot easier to work with, will do just as well, and will probably enjoy yourself more. Why make your life hard for no reason (and alienate your friends/coworkers in the process)?




...Plus, since you are uber-competative, you have to know that your inadequacies are a weakness that will eventually bite you in the ***. (A weakness!!! Its unacceptable!! As a type-A competitor doesn't that drive you a crazy :laugh: .) Devote your type-A-ness to correcting that!
 
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