I feel like I'm letting my friends, my family, and my professors down.

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makeshift123

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Well, waking up (hungover for that matter) to a rejection from Hopkins inspired this thread.

I've been extremely fortunate to have 9 interviews so far, and 3 more coming up. So far, its 3 waitlists, 1 acceptance and the Hopkins rejection. I feel like I'm letting everyone down that's rooting for me and I'm kind of embarrassed to tell them about the waitlists/rejection. My professors were all excited about my Hopkins interview and so were my parents and friends. That's all they would talk about when I saw them: "oh, have you heard from hopkins yet? penn? yale? I can't believe you interviewed there, blah blah." They're really not knowledgeable about the admissions process so they thought the interview was pretty much an acceptance.

In the back of my head, i kept telling myself and everyone else that i didnt like this school so when this happened, i wouldn't be too let down. but of course you can't change your emotions. i really don't wanna tell anyone cuz i just feel embarrassed like i'm letting them down. i really have become indifferent to this whole process now, especially with an acceptance to somewhere i wouldn't mind going to at all (its ranked way lower than the schools i've been to, so everyones shocked that i would go there), but the people around me haven't. It's just hard cuz for all my life, everything's just always fell into place and worked out and this process is truly sobering.

i dont know how to explain it? does anyone feel this way too or understand what i'm saying?

welp, time to go break the news to my parents.
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i told everyone i was applying nursing so if they figure out i got into any kind of medical school, they will be pleasantly surprised. yea i'm a stud at planning and mind bending
 
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Man don't be so down. School Name really isn't everything. With that said tho I understand the feeling. I just keep reminding myself that I'm competing with the best of the best students in the country for a spot. And I truly believe that ANY US mainland MD program is great. And so many ppl would kill to have even an interview. Besides it sounds like u r a great student. So be assured that you will do well on the boards no matter where you go. And in the end that will help you more than school name will. Besides, you r gonna be a doctor!!! Just remember that!!!! So many others would love to be in your shoes!!!
 
If the people around you would look differently at if you didn't get into Hopkins, what kind of people are they? I feel bad that they're putting so much pressure on you. This process is tough enough! I say chin up, cause you have an acceptance. Acceptance = doctor, plain and simple.

It's disappointing when a top school cuts you loose. No getting around that. But I'm sure your friends and family will be supportive.
 
As long as you are happy, it doesn't matter what others think. Hopkins is not an easy school to get into. The fact that you got an interview is something to be proud of...seriously.
Congrats on number of interviews and the acceptance you have so far!
The waitlists can eventually become acceptances. Be hopeful.

:thumbup:

The whole med school process is hard, and I am sure luck plays a major part in addition to stats and experiences.

I hope it all works out. I am sure your friends, family and professors will be supportive no matter what. You are not letting anyone down.
 
Yeah getting accepted to med school is a huge letdown to parents and friends.
Seriously, YOU HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED to med school, try not to be so negative about things. Anyone who knows you and loves you will, I'm sure, be proud of you regardless of what you choose. Getting into med school is a huge deal, be happy and proud of yourself.
 
rockaction said:
If the people around you would look differently at if you didn't get into Hopkins, what kind of people are they? I feel bad that they're putting so much pressure on you. This process is tough enough! I say chin up, cause you have an acceptance. Acceptance = doctor, plain and simple.

It's disappointing when a top school cuts you loose. No getting around that. But I'm sure your friends and family will be supportive.
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yup, im gonna turn the corner on my sarcasm and take the ramp up on seriousness here.

we are basically gonna be applying to different things for the rest of our lives. even though we say med school admission is hard, getting a "dream job" is hella hard too. everyone knows how it feels to be disappointed in the same sense as you.

your family and amigos were excited because you were excited to interview at hopkins and what not. if i were you, i would just be excited for any medical school that i would end up at. you are gonna have kickass classmates and faculty wherever you go

you should go out and celebrate your acceptance. i ran into a ridiculous number of re-apps who all seemed to be way more qualified than me. just chill and enjoy rest of the year before medical school.
 
As others have said, focus on the positive, you got accepted somewhere. This is huge, 95% of college freshmen that plan on pre-med won't achieve what you did.

I mean, imagine how you would feel if you didn't get accepted anywhere, and had to tell that to your friends and family:confused:

That being said, it imagine it would be an earth shattering letdown to interview at Hopkins, be shown that hope, and then be rejected shortly after. And since the idea of being accepted to Hopkins is so prestigious, everyone you are friends with will want to know and ask you if you got in, constantly reminding you that you didn't :(

All in all, just pretend to brush it off. Force a mindset where you are doing fine, and use it whenever someone else asks. It may sound shallow, but its much better when someone asks you. I mean, which would you rather go through:

Tear yourself up over it
--"hey, you get into Hopkins yet?
-"No... I got the rejection letter last week... really wanted to go there too..."

Pretend it doesn't bother you
--"hey, you get into Hopkins yet?
-"Nah, rejected. Kinda dissapointed but I got some other acceptances and some more interviews lined up, so I'm doing pretty good"


If you force a good mood about these things, you will worry less and be more optimistic about your future, which is realistically, quite bright.
 
You're amazing for two reasons:

1. You got into medical school.
2. You got a Hopkins interview.

I told everyone about receiving a Harvard interview, and I wouldn't feel the slightest degree of embarrassment, even if I don't get in. The interview itself is a major accomplishment and it affirms that I worked my heart out as an undergraduate. Now I'd like to go to Harvard, and I have a preferred order of schools after it, but realistically I only applied to schools that I'd be happy attending. With that in mind, an acceptance to any of my desired schools would be stupendous.
 
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Lacipart said:
As others have said, focus on the positive, you got accepted somewhere. This is huge, 95% of college freshmen that plan on pre-med won't achieve what you did.

I mean, imagine how you would feel if you didn't get accepted anywhere, and had to tell that to your friends and family:confused:

That being said, it imagine it would be an earth shattering letdown to interview at Hopkins, be shown that hope, and then be rejected shortly after. And since the idea of being accepted to Hopkins is so prestigious, everyone you are friends with will want to know and ask you if you got in, constantly reminding you that you didn't :(

All in all, just pretend to brush it off. Force a mindset where you are doing fine, and use it whenever someone else asks. It may sound shallow, but its much better when someone asks you. I mean, which would you rather go through:

Tear yourself up over it
--"hey, you get into Hopkins yet?
-"No... I got the rejection letter last week... really wanted to go there too..."

Pretend it doesn't bother you
--"hey, you get into Hopkins yet?
-"Nah, rejected. Kinda dissapointed but I got some other acceptances and some more interviews lined up, so I'm doing pretty good"


If you force a good mood about these things, you will worry less and be more optimistic about your future, which is realistically, quite bright.
Click to expand...


i have no idea what you would do, but i would definitely pick option one because nothing is more important in the world than being honest to yourself, and looking at the failure right in the eyes, facing up to it, and learning, growing and becoming stronger.

people who pretend will never succeed
 
Naijaba said:
You're amazing for two reasons:

1. You got into medical school.
2. You got a Hopkins interview.

I told everyone about receiving a Harvard interview, and I wouldn't feel the slightest degree of embarrassment, even if I don't get in. The interview itself is a major accomplishment and it affirms that I worked my heart out as an undergraduate. Now I'd like to go to Harvard, and I have a preferred order of schools after it, but realistically I only applied to schools that I'd be happy attending. With that in mind, an acceptance to any of my desired schools would be stupendous.
Click to expand...


1. yes
2. yes
paragraph. yes
 
To the OP, there are more important things in life to be concerned with. You got in to school and you should be proud of that.
 
Dude, what does their opinion have to do with this? You are going to be a doctor for yourself or for your professors/family? You have already been accepted so be happy. If I was accepted anywhere I would be jumping for joy. :)
 
well.. u're accepted to one place.. you're going to be a doctor.. how have you let anyone down?
 
Learn to stand up for yourself a little. For one, there are many on this site that would be happy with getting in anywhere. Second, your parents, professors, and everyone are probably just excited for you and will be happy no-matter where you go. Plus, I would guess that you have more acceptances coming if you got an interview at Hopkins and 9+ interviews. Relax, and enjoy the fact that from now on you can pick and choose because you are already accepted.
 
Your mistake was telling all these people where you applied, interviewed, etc. Including your parents, especially if they have been strutting around because their child interviewed at Hopkins.

My family (sibs and parents) know this stuff, but they are very cool and low key about it all (i.e., their coworkers and friends know NOTHING about it). But none of my extended fam knows anything, and I have been reticent to even tell my letter writers where I applied beyond the obvious (state schools, etc).

I sure as hell have not been telling friends and others any details of my apps - I have friends who have no freaking idea what I am up to, mainly because I never bring it up, and I never talk about it in social settings.

This is a personal journey. Anybody reading this thread should take heed and keep as much control of your information as possible, unless you want to have the problem of "disappointing" people who have no ****ing idea how competitive this process is...
 
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brooklynblunder said:
i told everyone i was applying nursing so if they figure out i got into any kind of medical school, they will be pleasantly surprised. yea i'm a stud at planning and mind bending
Click to expand...

Tbh this is a good way to do it

My parents think I'm getting a biology degree
 
I've shared your feelings, however, after being rejected from 60+ schools and counting, I don't even care anymore :laugh:

Be happy you got in somehwere.

I've made a bunch of mistakes in my academic career, so I'm thankful to still even have the opportunity to do what it is I want to do. Things will work out.
 
At least you have an acceptance! You should be worried about putting others down if you didn't even have an acceptance.
 
Thomas Hearns said:
I've shared your feelings, however, after being rejected from 60+ schools and counting, I don't even care anymore :laugh:

Be happy you got in somehwere.

I've made a bunch of mistakes in my academic career, so I'm thankful to still even have the opportunity to do what it is I want to do. Things will work out.
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Man, you can't be serious.
 
Why are you crying after you got Accepted?

If you're not in a situation where your wife attends Hopkins and you wont be, then you need to grow up.... like.. fast... because it sounds like you'd have a breakdown when the pressure is on in Med. School.
 
Ever heard of this:

"Speak Softly and carry a big stick"-Teddy Roosevelt.

Although your situation no longer applies with this concept, you can still make up for it by not giving a damn. You're not going to medical for those ppl, you're going for yourself. Like you said they are not knowledgeable about the admissions process, so what they say doesn't mean much.
 
If, after 12 interview invitations (including the one to Hopkins) and at least one acceptance, you feel that you're letting everyone down, then I suggest you do some soul-searching, and perhaps address what I imagine are larger emotional problems. I'm not trying to be rude, but I have relatively little sympathy for your situation, when I personally would be glad to have more than one interview.

Listen, when people ask you about how the Hopkins situation turned out, it's most likely 'cause they're excited for you. I suspect, unless the dynamics of all of your relationships are seriously messed up, that when you tell them that Hopkins rejected you, they will be supportive. I mean, no offense, but there are so many more important things in people's lives that I doubt seriously that any of them would feel particularly let down that you didn't get into a particular school.

I'm guessing, however, that you're most likely projecting your own disappointment and embarrassment onto them, anyway.

Buck up, little camper. You've got an acceptance (and I would venture a guess that there are more on the way), so no matter what school you go to, your family and professors and friends will all be able to brag about knowing you way back when when you get your Nobel.
 
KingstonPre said:
Why are you crying after you got Accepted?

If you're not in a situation where your wife attends Hopkins and you wont be, then you need to grow up.... like.. fast... because it sounds like you'd have a breakdown when the pressure is on in Med. School.
Click to expand...

yea...i shudder to think what'll happen if he ends up not being able to get honors in med school, especially if he gets it his first semester and tells all his family, friends, professors, etc. about it
 
yeah. dont worry too much about it. ppl ask because they are really excited, and yes, you LET THEM DOWN :p

but, they are still cheering for you, and make it up to them. residency at hopkins... thats the dream!!!! :D

failure shud make you stronger and more determined. take it in your stride, stand up. your friends and family are there for you, lets be honest, they will be disappointed, but they arent going to disown you because u didnt make it.

do them proud next time!
you can do it!!!
 
yeah... i feel the same way but for good reason, whereas you're (as someone else said) being a tool...

i was confident starting out with this process.. getting 35 average on my mcat practice tests without trying.. and besides that, everyone and their moms knows i'm applying (mostly my mistake.. sigh), and didn't know my practice tests scores but they would all say "if you can't get into med school then who can??"
i ended up getting MUCH lower mcat score on the real thing, and i have no idea how. i wasn't nervous at all.. and now if i DO ever get an interview.. i won't be able to explain the low score in one of my sections. it was a complete fluke. i'm behind on applications (i have one more secondary left to do) because of family problems and whatnot.. things just did not going to plan after the mcat.

so, nothing has gone to plan. 7 rejections so far.. i did apply to a few good schools that are out of reach (i expected to do awesome on the mcat).. but half the rejections are from schools i thought would be in reach. if i get ONE interview i'll be stoked.
 
whoa... didn't expect this many responses. I appreciate all the positive and slap-in-the-face comments. they put a lot in perspective. i certainly am grateful that i won't be part of the 17k that won't get in anywhere this year, but at this point, it's kinda that i want to set my goals high. i hate when people say "i just want one interview, stop whining." I really wish you the best of luck and can empathize with the anxiety, but that is not the point i'm at right now in the application process so i don't see the point of bringing that discussion up.

I know that the people around me will be supportive and are excited for me, but theres just something that i can't really explain about that issue.

and, about the comment about the honors thing in med school. i think this is a little different. I think this is a little different. I don't go around advertising my grades to everyone. this whole thing is kind of hard to keep to myself. i think my friends and professors would have started noticing me disappearing for days at a time.

anyway, thanks for all the comments. i appreciate it. and more are welcome if you got any.
 
flip26 said:
This is a personal journey. Anybody reading this thread should take heed and keep as much control of your information as possible, unless you want to have the problem of "disappointing" people who have no ****ing idea how competitive this process is...
Click to expand...

This is something to think about and a time where I would advocate being selfish. Just do your thing and don't let the people around you get you down!
 
No it makes sense. You did not advertise your grades or anything, but I understand how you feel. I'm sure most of your life, your friends/family always knew you were pretty smart. You prob went to a great undergraduate school and seemed to be on your top game. Even now, you are on your top game but the competition at this level is really not sensible to most people (read: PEONS) who do not know what admissions is like after college.

This is the big reason you feel this way. Everyone just assumed this was a done deal, Hopkins? Of course. They have no idea, no clue what is going on at that level. Its a real bummer that you did not get accepted but I think the process is far from over on your end. You should just pretend you are devastated for a few months while you keep interviewing and then get a dream school acceptance haha.
 
rama kandra said:
No it makes sense. You did not advertise your grades or anything, but I understand how you feel. I'm sure most of your life, your friends/family always knew you were pretty smart. You prob went to a great undergraduate school and seemed to be on your top game. Even now, you are on your top game but the competition at this level is really not sensible to most people (read: PEONS) who do not know what admissions is like after college.

This is the big reason you feel this way. Everyone just assumed this was a done deal, Hopkins? Of course. They have no idea, no clue what is going on at that level. Its a real bummer that you did not get accepted but I think the process is far from over on your end. You should just pretend you are devastated for a few months while you keep interviewing and then get a dream school acceptance haha.
Click to expand...

i think you really hit the nail on the head. i think thats exactly why i feel this way.
 
I was born for psychiatry!

PS just got some MCAT books from Amazon, and am pretty excited about getting the package, haha. Lame times.
 
makeshift123 said:
i think you really hit the nail on the head. i think thats exactly why i feel this way.
Click to expand...

As long as your "Acceptance" isn't to the University of Zimbabwe... people will still be proud of you, dope. 99.9% of America is NOT GOING TO MEDICAL SCHOOL. What exactly are you moping about?
 
For interviews that end up on offering a waitlist, I am just telling people who don't understand the process that I don't know yet. It is the truth, but less information out there circulating around. I don't mind a rejection or a waitlist, but I get tired of explaining it all to people so am just trying to keep it simple. In your case I might just update some one with a, "so far, admissions 1 is my only acceptance, waiting to hear on others." Then come spring you can tell them where you CHOSE to attend and leave out all the procedural details
 
memedimonkey said:
For interviews that end up on offering a waitlist, I am just telling people who don't understand the process that I don't know yet. It is the truth, but less information out there circulating around. I don't mind a rejection or a waitlist, but I get tired of explaining it all to people so am just trying to keep it simple. In your case I might just update some one with a, "so far, admissions 1 is my only acceptance, waiting to hear on others." Then come spring you can tell them where you CHOSE to attend and leave out all the procedural details
Click to expand...

This post is along the lines of my approach to the whole issue of telling others about my ****. I control the information as much as possible, and I avoid the appearance of inviting inquiry, if not criticism, from ANYBODY. I don't bother explaining the cycle to people - they really don't care that much about it - most of them are just being nosy.

Pre meds don't really help their own situation with the "good med schools vs not so good med schools" bullspit, so what do you expect your friends to think of your acceptance to Podunk Med? OP, you probably conveyed WAY too much enthusiasm over Hopkins, to the point of denigrating your other interviews...so yes, OP, you have let down your friends and family, and it is your own fault that you feel that way.

To everyone - just tell nosy friends that decisions from med schools don't really start rolling in until next March/April, and some people don't find out where they are going until May, June, and July...that will shut them up for a while.
 
If not getting into Johns Hopkins for medical school counts as letting down the people around you, the vast, vast majority of people would be extremely disappointed.

Really, step back and realize how lucky all of us who are going to be doctors are. :)
 
sorry, O.P.

it is a tough situation.

I recently had to explain to someone that mediocre medical schools have lower acceptance rates than some of the most competitive law schools out there. Oh, and I mentioned that orgo/biochem, etc., is much harder than some of the nonsense courses that pre-law students take, given their lack of a defined curriculum.

(I admit that I neglected to mention that this is in part be due to neurotic over-application. Since so many people apply to ninety million medical schools, and pre-law students tend to apply to fewer of them, med schools naturally receive an inflated number of applicants, yielding a deflated admittance %. But hey, my honor was stake :D)

We know what you're made of. You should too. Don't let The Man get you down, even if The Man is your auntie or her bridge buddies.
 
Naijaba said:
You're amazing for two reasons:

1. You got into medical school.
2. You got a Hopkins interview.

I told everyone about receiving a Harvard interview, and I wouldn't feel the slightest degree of embarrassment, even if I don't get in. The interview itself is a major accomplishment and it affirms that I worked my heart out as an undergraduate. Now I'd like to go to Harvard, and I have a preferred order of schools after it, but realistically I only applied to schools that I'd be happy attending. With that in mind, an acceptance to any of my desired schools would be stupendous.
Click to expand...

This.
 
yeah.. most people really have no idea what it takes to get into med school. My hairstylist was telling me how she wants to go into nursing and she knew i was in medical school. I explained how getting accepted was the most stressful year of my life, her jaw dropped in shock that you couldnt just go to med school bc you wanted to, "i mean arent you paying them to go there?" :rolleyes: She also said its cool that were going to take all the same classes.
so... yeah ppl really dont know unless you tell them. so tell them how ridiculously awesome it is that you got an interview period.
 
I am just happy that I got into my state school.

Be happy my friend that there are people who want to become a doctor that do not even stand a chance of applying to med schools.
 
longhorn09 said:
Man, you can't be serious.
Click to expand...

:thumbup:

I live in CA, and I don't have that great of stats... I decided to apply to DO schools as well and I've been accepted finally :laugh:

I still feel lucky that I even have this opportunity.
 
Being invited to interview at Hopkins is a huge honor in itself. I agree with what is being said in this thread. It is hard to explain to people just how competitive the medical school application process for any medical school.
 
rockaction said:
If the people around you would look differently at if you didn't get into Hopkins, what kind of people are they?
Click to expand...

:thumbup:

EVERY medical school is competitive. Getting into ONE is an achievement of which one should be proud. I used to have my heart set on Hopkins, and now my goal is just to get into a medical school--it's not that my standards are lowered, it's just, why would you put that extra pressure on yourself when you'll walk out of med school with an MD whether you graduate from a smaller med school or from a US News top school?

Afraid they'll look at you funny when you tell them you've been rejected? Put on your white coat and watch their expression change :)

No but seriously, I don't know about your parents, but when your profs and friends ask, just say it honestly and with cool. I think they may judge you more if your face contorts into an expression of pain and anguish than if you play it cool, shrug and say, "Hey, so it goes."
 
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