I feel stressed about finding someone to be in a relationship during this coronavirus pandemic

[aaronrodgers]

Lol congrats!

I just got rejected today by another med student at a nearby school haha

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[deleted804295]

Lol congrats!

I just got rejected today by another med student at a nearby school haha

RIP! Keep trying bud!!

 

[kopftonmd]

Going to be honest, I just skimmed the thread. But here are my thoughts for the OP:

Med school can be very isolating, especially if you're single and not in a particularly good market. As a med student, you're probably what I like to call "the three Bs": broke, busy, and boring. I've had all three things pointed out to me as reasons I wasn't an attractive partner by various girls at various points. However! All is not lost. I know it's really hard to see the other young people you know off at bars, dating sorority girls, getting married, etc. and feel like you aren't able to do that. And, to some extent, that's correct. As a med student, you usually don't have the time... or so you think.

I think you need a bit of a shift in perspective. You're a med student! That means in approximately 7-10 years, you will be worth quite a lot of money, as well as existing in the collective unconscious as a figure of good breeding and cosmopolitan knowledge. That's ~sexy~.

But that's also a long time from now. So I'd recommend making some concrete changes. YMMV, but they helped me turn things around when I was feeling much the same way.
1: Hit the gym. Nothing makes you feel more confident about going the right way than starting to see the muscles ripple under your chest. It's an hour a day to start to be competitive with the Chads that someone else mentioned earlier.
2: Hit the apps. Online dating sucks in some ways, but this is almost certainly the easiest way to meet eligible young ladies. At one point I was casually dating a half dozen girls. It takes some commitment but it seems like you're struggling with feeling permanently single.
3: Hit the books WITHIN REASON. This goes without saying, but with a big caveat: if you don't have time for points 1 and 2, you're probably spending too much studying. For reference, I've been able to do all of this on my medicine clerkship. It's possible! It just requires time management and a dramatic reduction in the amount of time I spent moping and feeling sorry about myself. You will most likely find long term success and happiness by graduating medical school and matching well.

In short, try to find a better balance. All of the ingredients you need are out there, you just need to toss them in the pot. If you're feeling really stymied, I might recommend Mate by Tucker Max and Geoffrey Miller. Crass and not totally relevant, but it's somewhere you could start. Hope this helps.

 

[DarkHorizon]

Make a serious commitment to being a top tier specimen, hit the gym, get shredded. Lots of single female students will pay attention. Can confirm.

Also, don’t be creepy, women can sense that immediately.

 

[slowthai]

Make a serious commitment to being a top tier specimen, hit the gym, get shredded. Lots of single female students will pay attention. Can confirm.

Also, don’t be creepy, women can sense that immediately.

This was funny, lol. Hopefully the motivation lasts long enough for him to develop a real interest, because otherwise, it's likely to fizzle out relatively quickly.

Edit: Or at least long enough for noob gains to take effect

 

[MedicineZ0Z]

Make a serious commitment to being a top tier specimen, hit the gym, get shredded. Lots of single female students will pay attention. Can confirm.

Also, don’t be creepy, women can sense that immediately.

This was funny, lol. Hopefully the motivation lasts long enough for him to develop a real interest, because otherwise, it's likely to fizzle out relatively quickly.

Edit: Or at least long enough for noob gains to take effect

There's an entire forum on the internet full of jacked guys that never get laid.
Muscles do help, just like having money or being a doctor helps. But your personality and face are essentially all that matter.

 

[slowthai]

There's an entire forum on the internet full of jacked guys that never get laid.
Muscles do help, just like having money or being a doctor helps. But your personality and face are essentially all that matter.

You may be right, I really don't have an opinion either way

 

[tbhdying]

Hey @CuriousMDStudent , first of all I can only imagine what you're going through. I have been in a relationship well before medical school and I couldn't imagine going through the first two years without someone to share things with, have there for my emotional/mental/physical needs, and to just vent to. So don't feel that you're going through something unusual or something that others can't understand.

Honestly, my advice to you would be to continue to put yourself out there. Dating apps. Also, go to everything your school has, socially and professionally. But also, let things happen to you. You are 22 and that's honestly young in the dating/engaged/marriage world. You are on YOUR timeline and no one else's. We will all do things at different times. You can plan your school/career aspect of life but there are things where planning can only take you so far. I pretty much found someone when I least expected it and was super stressed. So I know you think coronavirus is a huge obstacle (which it is for sure) but that doesn't mean its an obstacle that you're ONLY going through. I have been in situations where i've talked to people and it fell through because of school/fear of long distance/circumstances and I was pretty sad at times and wondering whether i'll find someone. But once it just happened to me (at the worst time ever where studying was going hard) I ended up in a relationship and 9 years later im super glad nothing else worked out and I was exactly where I needed to be to get into this relationship.

I know you're questioning why you're single right now and especially with corona we all need the extra mental and physical support. But put yourself out there, let things happen to you, and go with the flow. you are gonna be in the right place at the right time and later you're gonna know why it never worked out before that.

 

[MedicineZ0Z]

This whole "I have trouble dating" is common everywhere. Most of it is cause of the mentality of this generation that - if it isn't the best, then I don't want it.

 

[DarkHorizon]

There's an entire forum on the internet full of jacked guys that never get laid.
Muscles do help, just like having money or being a doctor helps. But your personality and face are essentially all that matter.

I don’t disagree, hence my comment about not being creepy. Also those other guys are self proclaimed incels, it’s over for them with that mindset.

With being a medical student and being fit, you’re bound to have at least a few female students ‘mirin, if for nothing else then commitment to at least try to be a top tier specimen. If they are not completely asocial autistic, they should be able to capitalize on it.

 

[dr_kateb]

If your profile pic is any indication ditch the anime

Thank me later

 

[Medical_studies]

I think these are all good ideas. I would try them first, but in case they dont work, I personally had much more success virtual dating using an avatar in the program Second Life, which you can preview in this well done video. It provided an avenue to meet people virtually who would not have been attracted to my appearance or personality, and therefore would not date me in real life. I made my avatar very handsome and its been so much better than dating a non avatar. Also, you may find avatar dating more suited to your schedule. The avatar world is lush, vibrant, immersive, I dont feel like it is lacking in any way compared to people in regular life relationships. Regardless of which route you choose, all the best!

 

[dr_kateb]

I think these are all good ideas. I would try them first, but in case they dont work, I personally had much more success virtual dating using an avatar in the program Second Life, which you can preview in this well done video. It provided an avenue to meet people virtually who would not have been attracted to my appearance or personality, and therefore would not date me in real life. I made my avatar very handsome and its been so much better than dating a non avatar. Also, you may find avatar dating more suited to your schedule. The avatar world is lush, vibrant, immersive, I dont feel like it is lacking in any way compared to people in regular life relationships. Regardless of which route you choose, all the best!

bruh

 

[Detective SnowBucket]

If your profile pic is any indication ditch the anime

Thank me later

We may never know if all this could have been avoided if he has an anime pp on tinder

 

[Osteosaur]

There's an entire forum on the internet full of jacked guys that never get laid.
Muscles do help, just like having money or being a doctor helps. But your personality and face are essentially all that matter.

I see plenty of doughy guys with weird noses and weak chins who are married? And their idea of a good time is chic fil-a and watching some marvel dross at that.

I just don't know where this idea you need to be some prime specimen of humanity to even have a chance at procreation comes from. Have you looked at the parents in an 'average family'? Its not a high bar. And I'm sure these people weren't beautiful in their 20s and ravaged by time.

In the end you do need to have something to bring to a relationship be it as a provider, sex appeal, or an attractive personality. Pretty people can be mean, nice people can be poor, but you gotta offer something is all.

 

[CuriousMDStudent]

If your profile pic is any indication ditch the anime

Thank me later

I don't watch anime and I don't have an anime profile picture on tinder lol.

The profile pic comes from those study lofi music study videos I stream while I study. The more recognizable one is a the girl studying with her cat but I'm a guy so I just googled a cartoon of a guy studying as my username here is "CuriousMDStudent" so I found it fitting.

Thanks to everyone for all of your helpful comments!

I've done a lot of thinking these past few days and have come to the conclusion that I'm just going to take it slow and let life happen. I think when I made this post I was really frazzled and just stressed about comparing myself to others.

However, taking some time to myself has made me realize that I am 22 years old and am a medical student. I have time and I'm honestly just going to enjoy the journey for now.

I don't plan on joining dating apps. I'm sure they work and maybe I'd find someone but I really do like the idea of meeting someone randomly in real life and just hitting it off.

I recognize it may be a few months or years before that happens but I'm just going to be patient for that moment/person to come along.

Anyways, thank you for all the input and advice given.

 

[scoopdaboop]

Go to Amsterdam 7 times a year, as Gabe Lewis does on The Office.

 

[YeOleBoneWiz]

Grow a beard, hit the gym, stop touching your junk, buy some fresh threads, be more social. If u good looking, u gonna find urself a hoe

Beardfishing

 

[Detective SnowBucket]

Grow a beard, hit the gym, stop touching your junk, buy some fresh threads, be more social. If u good looking, u gonna find urself a hoe

you should probably be doing all of these things even if you're not trying to get a girlfriend

 

[dienekes88]

If you're going to comment something, please recognize this is a sensitive topic for me and I'm being vulnerable here so please go easy on me. I recognize this is an unconventional question and I feel some people will make fun of me for this but I want perspectives from other medical students or healthcare professionals and I don't have anywhere else to go so here I go:

All throughout college, I never really pursued a relationship because of the fact that medical school was the goal for me. I felt that getting into medical school was this ridiculously difficult feat and so I had this mentality that if I didn't put 100% into getting into medical school, I wouldn't get in.

This caused me to forego certain opportunities at relationships as I was afraid of ending up in a long-distance relationship or getting my heart broken and my academics being affected due to that. I ended up getting into medical school but now I look around me and I question my life choices. I'm a guy and I'm 22 but I feel so lonely and behind (on life) in medical school. A good portion of my class is already in relationships with people they met in college or during their gap years and seem so happy. A decent amount of people are already engaged and married!

The plan was always that I'd go to med school and find someone but now that this CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC IS HERE. I feel like I'm never going to find someone since I can't even meet classmates. People estimate that this could even go past December or January and could last another year or two. Some of my classmates are talking about how they're dm'ing classmates or meeting classmates on online dating apps but I don't really know how to do that. I really like to get to know people first and see if there's something there. Hence why I'm stressed since I feel like I'm so behind on this aspect of my life and feel it's so much harder to succeed in it with this pandemic.

Students have been organizing mini social distanced social events and those have been decent but there are so few that are planned and only a few people attend and we're so far apart from each other during events that it's hard to talk and get to know people.

I tell myself a lot: I came to medical school to be a doctor and there's not a lot I can do about relationships so I should go study since that's why I'm here. However, I literally tell myself this for 5 minutes. then study for 20 minutes. And then I get stressed about relationships again.

I don't know. Maybe I just need Goro to yell at me and tell me to study and stop worrying about stuff I can't control lol.

tl;dr: I feel distracted and stressed since so many people in my class seem to already be in happy relationships and with coronavirus, Idk if I will ever find anybody.

You're a 22 year old guy. Don't sweat it. Being in a great relationship makes everything better but anything other than that (which is most dating) is just trading one problem for another.

 

[blockrudder1]

wear your patagucci to college bars, douchey but effective