"I just can't see you being a doctor"

[nisegirl]

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My boyfriend finally admitted he just can't see me being a doctor. "Sorry, I guess I just see you being clumsy or socially awkward so often." OOPS! I guess I missed the part in the Premed Rulebook that says "All premeds must be graceful and confident at all times."

(Btw, I like meeting people, I just get tongue-tied sometimes...especially in huge groups. And I volunteered in a hospital for three year's for goodness sake! What did he think I was doing all that time? "Crap, the wheelchair got away from me! F*ck, she's rolling into the street!" "Soo...you're, uh, about to die, eh? What's that like?")

Does anyone else get no encouragement? And how do you respond to things like that?

 

[ndi_amaka]

My boyfriend finally admitted he just can't see me being a doctor. "Sorry, I guess I just see you being clumsy or socially awkward so often." OOPS! I guess I missed the part in the Premed Rulebook that says "All premeds must be graceful and confident at all times."

(Btw, I like meeting people, I just get tongue-tied sometimes...especially in huge groups. And I volunteered in a hospital for three year's for goodness sake! What did he think I was doing all that time? "Crap, the wheelchair got away from me! F*ck, she's rolling into the street!" "Soo...you're, uh, about to die, eh? What's that like?")

Does anyone else get no encouragement? And how do you respond to things like that?

Is your boyfriend a doctor?

Is he on an admissions committee?

is he in medical school?

 

[Nanon]

My boyfriend finally admitted he just can't see me being a doctor. "Sorry, I guess I just see you being clumsy or socially awkward so often." OOPS! I guess I missed the part in the Premed Rulebook that says "All premeds must be graceful and confident at all times."

(Btw, I like meeting people, I just get tongue-tied sometimes...especially in huge groups. And I volunteered in a hospital for three year's for goodness sake! What did he think I was doing all that time? "Crap, the wheelchair got away from me! F*ck, she's rolling into the street!" "Soo...you're, uh, about to die, eh? What's that like?")

Does anyone else get no encouragement? And how do you respond to things like that?

Ha. First, I think ndi has stated the obvious questions - however, even if he were a doctor, I'd take what he has to say with a grain of salt. It's just one person's oppinion.

What I get often is - ironically - "You're too nice." And I'm not really sure what people mean by that, because I'm really not that nice, but rather slow to show annoyance. Patient, if you will. Other snide comments have been that I'm smart, but maybe "not in that way," or that I'm too "unconventional," or that I'm too "distracted," or that my life is inherently too "chaotic," or, like you, that I'm not socially adept enough.

Whatever. I have yet to meet a "doctor-type" of person in my 35 years of dealing with people. I mean, sure, there are doctors out there who fit some of the criteria some of the time (confident, graceful, witty, caring, etc.), but when you get to know them, they're full of insecurity, and they, too, will have locked themselves out of their car at least once in their life.

Don't listen. Do your own thing. Tell him he's not the "boyfriend-type" if he persists, because to me, this reeks of his own insecurity.

just my opinion.

Nanon

 

[jlee9531]

haha who cares what anyone says if you really wanna become a caring doc.
just as long as you dont make your patients feel uncomfortable then you will be fine.

 

[Brickhouse]

I'm a huge klutz, I have two left feet and I'm constantly getting bruises from accidentally hitting things - so don't worry about it...

In fact, funny story - I would routinely bump into the tray in the exam room with all the pap smear stuff on it and it would fall all over the place and the resident and the patient would just kinda look at me....very embarrassing....but you know, you learn.

 

[NRAI2001]

I ve gotten the, I can't see u as doing anythign else besides being a doctor. That kinda sucks also.

 

[nisegirl]

I'm a huge klutz, I have two left feet and I'm constantly getting bruises from accidentally hitting things - so don't worry about it...

Thank you! Yes, I knew I couldn't be the only one!

 

[bewitched1081]

it might actually be better to talk to the person who's pissing you off rather than talk about him. or just dump him.

 

[vwhan]

I was a huge clutz in chem lab. I broke so many glasswares, it was ridiculous. Don't worry about being clumsy. Also, there are some weird people in my class. Some lack personality, some are not easy going and some just don't want to say hi to you.

Do what you want to do. I pictured my girlfriend going into OB/GYN. She is a Peds resident. Not all boyfriends know what they are talking about.

 

[Premedtomed]

Hey I am a Finance major, I was actually indirectly told by one of the "senile" biology teachers that I needed to be a Bio major to go to med. school. Not only that my own relatives never trusted me with anything, me being the youngest guy in the family in the same age range i.e. my cousins and brother are all a few years older than me. My friends cared less I am not the kind of guy who likes to talk about personal life

Guess what, I never told anyone that I am planning on attending medical school and now they are like "oh How great!". The point is people like to critique your actions all the time. Next thing, having a g/f would have ruined my life - but now I have time to party
Anyways, be strong and positive. If you let others change your mind then you probably aren't determined enough. Again, HE'S JUST A BF (HOPEFULLY)

 

[nisegirl]

it might actually be better to talk to the person who's pissing you off rather than talk about him. or just dump him.

Anyways, be strong and positive. If you let others change your mind then you probably aren't determined enough. (HOPEFULLY)

Yup, I did. Talk to him, that is. I was just curious about other people's experiences. Not letting anyone change my mind, either. I've also gotten:

some guy: So, what major are you?
me: Bio.
some guy: Oh. So are you like, one of those fake bio majors?
me: Huh?
some guy: You know, the ones who just want to be doctors.

😕 I'm not saying all premeds should be bio majors, but surely we all like bio somewhat....

me: Just because I don't want to be a biologist doesn't make me "fake."
some guy: But reasearch is so much cooler! 🙄

 

[BigBopper]

Yup, I did. Talk to him, that is. I was just curious about other people's experiences. Not letting anyone change my mind, either. I've also gotten:

some guy: So, what major are you?
me: Bio.
some guy: Oh. So are you like, one of those fake bio majors?
me: Huh?
some guy: You know, the ones who just want to be doctors.

Huh?!? 😕

Heh I think he means people who major in something as a means to an end not because they have any real interest in it. Of course that is a bunch of bunk. I found it easier not to mention I was premed so people wouldn't prejudge me.

 

[fourthyear]

DUMP THE BOYFRIEND. He doesn't sound very supportive of your goals and dreams if he's trying to shut them down by discouraging you like this. He may just be jealous that he's not ambitious enough to go after a goal like that.

There are all types of people in medicine. Don't let someone who knows nothing about the medical field tell you you won't fit in.

By the way, I'm nearing the end of my 1st year of surgery residency now, and to me the greatest compliment I can get when I'm out in a non-medical social setting is "wow, I had no idea you were a doctor!" - you see, many people unfortunately think doctors are all stuck up self-centered people who think they're better than everyone else (not to mention kinda nerdy), so to me it's a compliment when people see me as a person not a doctor.

 

[fourthyear]

Forgot to add - I am married to a non-medical professional. Met him before med school and he's been supportive every step of the way, which I think has been crucial to the success of our relationship and my carrer. If your boyfriend continues to discourage you, seriously think about this.

 

[BerkeleyPremed]

Your boyfriend just sounds like a huge tool. I agree that working in the medical profession probably does require a certain level of social/interpersonal skills...but saying that he can't see you working as a physician just because you're "socially awkward" at times seems a little uncalled for. Extensive work done in extracurricular pursuits (outside of research labs), volunteer experience, and just healthy day-to-day interactions with people is enough to convince most people that an individual is well-adjusted and socially adept.

If you just sat in front of the computer all day, played video games, only met people on-line, then one might be justified in describing you as somewhat antisocial/socially inept (my roommate fits the description I gave). However, I'm sure you're outgoing, friendly, and socially active and I'm sure that these are qualities that will help you come interview time.

 

[hle007]

You're not the only one. I am known for my clumpsiness. hehe I still am... I make no sense when I talk. I am always going the opposite way to everything. I am always dropping things. I am actually quite weird for my age.. I mean... mature wise... It's can of discouraging sometimes when someone tell me that I should change my major and find something else other than science because they cannot see me being anybody if I keep stay in this field. I question their assumptions. They know nothing about me other than the mistakes I've made and the grades I've earned. I might not be one of the smart, quick learner or am I consistent with what I do but I really really love the things I am trying to pursue. So yeh, I just brush little things like that off and just suck all the tears in and keep doing what my heart tells me. Even if I ended up on the wrong road, it's okay... the road never ends. It only does when I stop. 😉

 

[bearpaw]

Your boyfriend was jealous and threatened. Most people will dissuade you from becoming a doctor if they think you can actually do it. The opposite also holds true. Its only your close family that will actually give you the most untainted advice, as they usually care for you more than themselves (not saying your parents know best, but at least they have no hidden motives).

Yeah, i had a girlfriend who yelled at me during an argument "and you only got a XX on your MCAT!". I started laughing, because she had no idea what a good score was and i had already been accepted to med school. I was disappointed with my score for sure, but it was good enough not to take again. what an idiot.

If people start telling you about the high rate of suicide among doctors, that you shouldn't go into medicine if you want to make ANY money, med school is TOO hard for you, your [insert characteristic here] will keep you from being a good doc, or that the profession isn't as respected as it once was...cut this person out of your life. of couse, you should ask "so then, what do you suggest?", just so you can watch them stutter.

 

[tBw]

hmmm, well i'm in med school and some of my class mates I have a hard time imagining as doctors....but hey, apparently I'm wrong! which just goes to show that just because one person thinks it, no matter who or what they are, it doesn't make it true.... 😉

ironically I can barely see myself being a doctor either but apparently I'm wrong about that too cos they let me in already...

 

[Nutmeg]

Dump the MF, yo. Life is too short for you to let a naysayer that close to you. It will end badly sooner or it will end badly later.

Everyone has a story of someone who tried to break them down and take advantage of them. Live and learn, and just try not to make the same mistake twice.

 

[flighterdoc]

Just tell the loser you'll remember that when they wheel his sorry carcass into your ED.

 

[Thundrstorm]

Hey, take it from a shy girl who walks into doors, trips up the stairs, and is routinely told that she was born entirely without grace: don't let anyone tell you that you can't do what you know you are meant to do. There is not one set type of person who will make a good doctor.

You know what's funny? I do research that requires me to be very coordinated and careful, and when I'm in the lab, I'm not at all clumsy... it's like I turn into Ms. steady hands. Sometimes, the clumsiness and lack of confidence goes away when you know what you're doing. 😀

 

[fakeplaztiktree]

This is a good one to use if you've already been accepted:

"Well, according to people who's opinions actually matter, I have what it takes to become a doctor."

Or you could say ^&(% you, that always works 😉

 

[IndyZX]

Most people will dissuade you from becoming a doctor if they think you can actually do it. The opposite also holds true. Its only your close family that will actually give you the most untainted advice, as they usually care for you more than themselves (not saying your parents know best, but at least they have no hidden motives).

actually, i think the advice from your own family is about as tainted as it gets. how would they have no hidden motives? their motives will in most cases be almost exactly in line with yours.

 

[UseUrHeadFred]

"You WILL."

 

[bearpaw]

actually, i think the advice from your own family is about as tainted as it gets. how would they have no hidden motives? their motives will in most cases be almost exactly in line with yours.

uhh, i meant that in a good way. tainted has a bad connotation, your families advice towards you does not. you know their motives...so they are not hidden. hidden = bad. hidden motives are like saying "i think you're too clumsy to be a good doctor... what happens when you're operating on a patient?" when he really means "i'm so jealous and surprised that you are going to be a successful and respected individual".

 

[Pre-Dent-David]

People give me the same kind of ****....but I am a convicted child molester

 

[Mr Reddly]

my 35 years of dealing with people. I mean, sure, there are doctors out there who fit some of the criteria some of the time (confident, graceful, witty, caring, etc.), but when you get to know them, they're full of insecurity, and they, too, will have locked themselves out of their car at least once in their life.

OMG! This hit home! To hell with the rest of the posts, I had to quote it.

Last year, three of us were on our way to the airport to catch a flight to a hospital (the doc was driving). We stop to get coffee (it was early), come back to her (the doc's) car and see the keys in the ignition. Doors locked.
Yes, doctors can and do lock themselves out of their cars.

 

[Ozymandsss]

You should accidentally shove a stethascope up his ass.