I Need an Urgent Advice Please!

[ResidentnCrisis]

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Hi, Thanks for reading my post. I am a new intern in an Internal Medicine Residency Program in the Southeast. I am an IMG and an old graduate. I graduated more then 16 years back from my home country. We migrated to US in 2008 and i am a US citizen.

Before joining my current residency program, i was leading a life of a Housewife, and I am a mother of 3, i have 2 boys and 1 girl. I did not go through the match last year and i joined my current residency program through an unexpected opening on August 1st. I have worked hard to balance my career and my family life over the last many years, but as you can imagine, it has not been easy.

Now after joining my residency, i am finding it real difficult to continue. I find it hard to stay for long hours in the hospital. Also when you have matured and you are in your early forties, it's not easy to be subordinate to your residents and attendings who are either of your age or at least 10-12 years younger then you.

Besides after being out of practice for the last few years, i am realizing practicing medicine does not interest me any more (Before joining, i was so excited and confident) and it seems that my priorities have changed. My husband supports me and he says that i should leave this residency, as i am lacking the interest to continue and it has been very difficult for all of us. He has his own well developed business and he says i do not need to go through all over this again.

But i am worried, i had joined this position, after so many years of hard work, taking all the steps and securing very good scores, but above all, all those promises that i had given to my program director that i would work hard and to my best. I feel miserable, i do not want to continue, but i do not want to leave the program in this trouble either (There are 5 residents each year and my leaving the program now, would obviously effect their schedule).

For now, i am in the elective month, but i am starting the ICU rotation next month. My current situation is, i do not want to open the books or to read something or to do anything related to my current residency. I want to be at home, in my house with my family, do what i am best at and that's it. My performance at residency may go down soon and it would then portray me as a bad resident (already there are a few people who are skeptical), everyone would realize it and then i would become burden for the program. I am clearly at a loss, confused, what to do. I surely do not want to drag my situation to that an extent and am thinking to resign on my own, based on my family preferences. I have not talked to the PD yet, as i am planning to do it, when i am completely ready to take the final decision....but by that time it may be too late for the program to hire an intern for the current year.

What do you guys suggest??

 

[surge55]

Hi, Thanks for reading my post. I am a new intern in an Internal Medicine Residency Program in the Southeast. I am an IMG and an old graduate. I graduated more then 16 years back from my home country. We migrated to US in 2008 and i am a US citizen.

Before joining my current residency program, i was leading a life of a Housewife, and I am a mother of 3, i have 2 boys and 1 girl. I did not go through the match last year and i joined my current residency program through an unexpected opening on August 1st. I have worked hard to balance my career and my family life over the last many years, but as you can imagine, it has not been easy.

Now after joining my residency, i am finding it real difficult to continue. I find it hard to stay for long hours in the hospital. Also when you have matured and you are in your early forties, it's not easy to be subordinate to your residents and attendings who are either of your age or at least 10-12 years younger then you.

Besides after being out of practice for the last few years, i am realizing practicing medicine does not interest me any more (Before joining, i was so excited and confident) and it seems that my priorities have changed. My husband supports me and he says that i should leave this residency, as i am lacking the interest to continue and it has been very difficult for all of us. He has his own well developed business and he says i do not need to go through all over this again.

But i am worried, i had joined this position, after so many years of hard work, taking all the steps and securing very good scores, but above all, all those promises that i had given to my program director that i would work hard and to my best. I feel miserable, i do not want to continue, but i do not want to leave the program in this trouble either (There are 5 residents each year and my leaving the program now, would obviously effect their schedule).

For now, i am in the elective month, but i am starting the ICU rotation next month. My current situation is, i do not want to open the books or to read something or to do anything related to my current residency. I want to be at home, in my house with my family, do what i am best at and that's it. My performance at residency may go down soon and it would then portray me as a bad resident (already there are a few people who are skeptical), everyone would realize it and then i would become burden for the program. I am clearly at a loss, confused, what to do. I surely do not want to drag my situation to that an extent and am thinking to resign on my own, based on my family preferences. I have not talked to the PD yet, as i am planning to do it, when i am completely ready to take the final decision....but by that time it may be too late for the program to hire an intern for the current year.

What do you guys suggest??

well I'm sorry to hear that.

so are you really that burnt out already? I have a friend who also has children and she makes it work.

do you hate medicine or just hate the program? is it long hours? also ask yourself, why was there an opening in august? did the previous intern leave too?

it's possible you just hate the program and not medicine. I know some programs taht make their interns do a lot of long hours.

its up to you of course. honestly, if you give them notice, you can at least stay on until they find your replacement in the next couple of months. otherwise, you think you could hold on until next year and transfer out as a pgy2? like I said, maybe you just don't like the program.

 

[trppo]

Did you try talking to your co-interns/residents and share some of your concerns/problems about satying in the program..... Ask them, how do they balance their lives??..... May be it is becuase of the program that you are not feeling comfortable there??.... I would say try to analyze the situation well before putting any resignation. Residency spots are not that easy to come by. I think there are a lot of unanswered questions here, that you must try to work on...... I wish you Good Luck.

 

[Ariee]

To me it sounds like you've already made ur decision.
Live your life to the fullest.
If you're unhappy, think clearly, talk to your pd, then if u don't wanna do it, quit. They will find a replacement.

 

[ResidentnCrisis]

Thanks for the suggestions.

Yes i do not hate medicine and when i look at it, my program is not making it that comfortable for me either. I had talked to my senior residents and they say it is going to get easier and they told me how to prioritize my responsibilities. The biggest problem is that i do not have a cohesive bunch of interns in my class and everyone has a strong personality and their own view of thoughts.

 

[surge55]

Thanks for the suggestions.

Yes i do not hate medicine and when i look at it, my program is not making it that comfortable for me either. I had talked to my senior residents and they say it is going to get easier and they told me how to prioritize my responsibilities. The biggest problem is that i do not have a cohesive bunch of interns in my class and everyone has a strong personality and their own view of thoughts.

just hang in there then. medicine is where its at and you seem to agree with that.

make friends with a senior then - my friend is an intern at another program and is in her 30's and doesn't feel like she fits in with her interns but she made friends with a senior.

see if you can get a mentor too to help. our program has both senior mentors for interns as well as faculty mentors.

 

[ResidentnCrisis]

just hang in there then. medicine is where its at and you seem to agree with that.

make friends with a senior then - my friend is an intern at another program and is in her 30's and doesn't feel like she fits in with her interns but she made friends with a senior.

see if you can get a mentor too to help. our program has both senior mentors for interns as well as faculty mentors.

By the way, the director of GME has asked us all to meet him next week as he has concerns about the residency program and he need to have more information from all the residents (we are guessing it is about the PD himself, who is very disorganized and 2 of our senior faculty members has also left recently).

 

[ResidentnCrisis]

Ok so now someone has complained against me that i have a strange "smell"coming out of me and that the patients are uncomfortable, so PD talked to me privately. Really strange, bizzare and not so funny!! I am very unhappy and petrified.

 

[littlealex]

Honestly if it's an unfounded complaint the PD probably wouldn't had talked to you. Have you considered perhaps you do smell differently than other people? I only say this because I have encountered this situation a few times in my life and it's uncomfortable to everyone involved and there may be a chance that there actually is a problem.

 

[DrSnips]

Ok so now someone has complained against me that i have a strange "smell"coming out of me and that the patients are uncomfortable, so PD talked to me privately. Really strange, bizzare and not so funny!! I am very unhappy and petrified.

What is strange about the complaint? Is it strange because you shower at least twice a day and use loads of deodorant? Is it strange because you wouldn't think someone would complain to a PD about BO?

If it is the first one, you may be using a shampoo or perfume with an offensive odor. Try to get hygiene products with neutral smells.

If it is the second one, please shower every day and use deodorant.

 

[surge55]

Ok so now someone has complained against me that i have a strange "smell"coming out of me and that the patients are uncomfortable, so PD talked to me privately. Really strange, bizzare and not so funny!! I am very unhappy and petrified.

have you thought of bacterial vaginosis? I had a patient with that in the clinic.

 

[ResidentnCrisis]

Ok, so i have confirmed from some "insiders" that some mean nurse/secretary on the floor had complained that i smell of 'onions and spices'. Ok so i am from India and i do cook food for my kids, but again, who so ever had a problem, could have talked to me first... In any case, i don't care about these petty things anymore but am more careful around those "hypersensitive" noses, and i obviously do shower daily and use the deodorant and perfumes.

 

[surge55]

Ok, so i have confirmed from some "insiders" that some mean nurse/secretary on the floor had complained that i smell of 'onions and spices'. Ok so i am from India and i do cook food for my kids, but again, who so ever had a problem, could have talked to me first... In any case, i don't care about these petty things anymore but am more careful around those "hypersensitive" noses, and i obviously do shower daily and use the deodorant and perfumes.

ah ok ok. I like indian food too.

that's lame;

white people...

 

[Pneumothorax]

To complain that someone of Indian origin smells of onions and spices is the equivalent of saying a black person smells of fried chicken. Both are a severe breach of etiquette, and the nurse who complained about you should be reprimanded by the hospital. It is just completely unacceptable. I'm very sorry that you have to deal with these kind of problems. As I am sure you are aware, it is only a small minority of people in the United States who are nasty and ignorant like that. I wish you all the best things in life.

 

[Pneumothorax]

My thoughts on your original question, for what they're worth:

If your goals are to be a mother, consider how being a board certified internist could help you in those goals. I know a few doctors like that, they work two or three shifts per week, and spend lots of time with their kids. But they also have the career for when their kids get older. If, God forbid, their husband should die, they have the ability to go to work and provide for their kids.

You are in the hardest year of residency. It only gets easier after this. And when its over, its over, and you have your license and board eligibility to do with what YOU want. There are very few things that give you (and your family) as much security as an unrestricted license to practice medicine. No matter how bad the economy gets, people need doctors.

Please don't think I'm telling you what I think you should do, because I am not you and do not know you to give you any opinion about what is best for you. But I think that these thoughts are important considerations. I wish you all the best!!!!

 

[drcanucktikka]

I don't mean to be an ******* but the smell of onion and spices is a valid concern. Im Indian and I find it offensive in a work setting (but I love it when I get home). The solution is easy and can reduce all that 'talking behind your back' drastically.

It is really tough to start doing a residency as young mother. I commend you on taking this challenge. I hope you hang in there and stick it out as long as you are enjoying medicine.