I straight-up just hate medical school/good non-residency jobs for DOs?

[abcde7]

Just starting M3 and I feel like attending medical school is the biggest mistake of my life.

I wake up miserable. I have no friends. I am single and haven't received any romantic attention in multiple years due to no friends=no life. Addressing either of these things under the immense stress of premed and medical school has been almost impossible for me. I wasted my college years studying only to find out that I don't find medicine fulfilling or interesting at all and now I have virtually nothing I really care about (friends/fun/gf). I'm paying a FORTUNE for a school that treats me like dirt and provides almost no real services for the tens of thousands I give them per year.

I went into this for social status, money and because my parents pushed me to do this. I never even wanted to go to undergrad in the first place. When I think about doing clinical and residency I want to cry. I am so tired of constantly competing at an insane level just to keep up with the other kids not for the sake of learning but because you have to for the sake of it. I want to be "good enough" and go the f**k home at a reasonable hour. I tried to take a LOA but my family said I wouldn't be allowed to move home if I did and I'd be homeless. I have tried therapy and the answer I found is that I'm miserable because I'm here and this s**t is just not for me. The future fills me with an immense sense of dread and my family and I fight on the phone every time we talk.

I would drop out today but because I spent my time in college studying I have no connections at all with which to find a job. Even before COVID I struggled to find a minimum wage job with my BS. I don't really know what I want from making this post but I have to tell someone.

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[Goro]

Just starting M3 and I feel like attending medical school is the biggest mistake of my life.

I wake up miserable. I have no friends. I am single and haven't received any romantic attention in multiple years due to no friends=no life. Addressing either of these things under the immense stress of premed and medical school has been almost impossible for me. I wasted my college years studying only to find out that I don't find medicine fulfilling or interesting at all and now I have virtually nothing I really care about (friends/fun/gf). I'm paying a FORTUNE for a school that treats me like dirt and provides almost no real services for the tens of thousands I give them per year.

I went into this for social status, money and because my parents pushed me to do this. I never even wanted to go to undergrad in the first place. When I think about doing clinical and residency I want to cry. I am so tired of constantly competing at an insane level just to keep up with the other kids not for the sake of learning but because you have to for the sake of it. I want to be "good enough" and go the f**k home at a reasonable hour. I tried to take a LOA but my family said I wouldn't be allowed to move home if I did and I'd be homeless. I have tried therapy and the answer I found is that I'm miserable because I'm here and this s**t is just not for me. The future fills me with an immense sense of dread and my family and I fight on the phone every time we talk.

I would drop out today but because I spent my time in college studying I have no connections at all with which to find a job. Even before COVID I struggled to find a minimum wage job with my BS. I don't really know what I want from making this post but I have to tell someone.

Very sorry to hear that you'e going through this.

The bolded illustrate the three worst reasons (especially combined) for going into Medicine and now, alas, you're having to pay the price.

Your parents quite evil; limit exposure to them as much as possible.

There's always the military.

 

[Goro]

You're in a DO/PhD program and you're not getting a stipend?????

 

[abcde7]

No PhD, sorry, DO?PHD was the only thing that had DO in the name and I didn't think I'd ever have this conversation so now i've changed it lol

 

[Damson]

Hey man. Thanks for sharing. Lots of people out there are in your shoes or in similar shoes - you are not alone.

You just started M3 - that means you've passed step 1 / level 1?

Let us know.

 

[Kardio]

OP - That sounds terrible, but I think this is a solvable problem.

Social: You can always jump into online dating and/or non-medical organizations or interest groups (churches, adult athletics, etc.). Ya don’t have to have deep social ties within medicine or your school!

Work: Have you considered ‘less-clinical’ doctor jobs, like path or rads? Or maybe fields with ‘less-intense’ residency reputation, like PM&R? Or ‘clock-in-clock-out’ rhythm like EM?

 

[Osminog]

When you quit medical school, what if you discover that you’re being “treated like dirt” by your demanding supervisor? What if your line of work requires you to “compete at an insane level” or disallows you from “going the f**k home at a reasonable hour”?

Worse yet, what if you discover that your problems making friends and establishing relationships follow you wherever you go? What if medical school and your “wasted” college years were, all along, just convenient scapegoats for your own social and romantic shortcomings?

You’re just a cog in a machine that’s aching to be a cog in another machine. We live in a world of hierarchy, where shot-callers take enormous dumps on the weak and where moving up in the world means allowing extra helpings of heaven-sent poo to accumulate on your face. Don’t drop out. Sublimate your misery with more studying, and try to look forward to the 50-hour-week, $200k/year dream. The world outside of medical school sucks just as much ass, if not more ass. I’ve lived that life.

 

[Dochopeful13]

When you quit medical school, what if you discover is that you’re being “treated like dirt” by your demanding supervisor? What if your line of work requires you to “compete at an insane level” or disallows you from “going the f**k home at a reasonable hour”?

Worse yet, what if you discover that your problems making friends and establishing relationships follow you wherever you go? What if medical school and your “wasted” college years were, all along, just convenient scapegoats for your own social and romantic shortcomings?

You’re just a cog in a machine that’s aching to be a cog in another machine. We live in a world of hierarchy, where shot-callers take enormous dumps on the weak and where moving up in the world means allowing extra helpings of heaven-sent poo to accumulate on your face. Don’t drop out. Sublimate your misery with more studying, and try to look forward to the 50-hour-week, $200k/year dream. The world outside of medical school sucks just as much ass, if not more ass. I’ve lived that life.

I cannot tell you how correct this comment is. Truth be told the real world blows, and it’s no where as great as we all thought it would be as kids. Do yourself a favor push through the next few years and get a cushy 200 k job. Once you have that work as little as possible and travel, make friends etc,. Trust me it could be worse and you could be miserable in a bs office job living paycheck to paycheck. At least medicine will provide a financial base for you to find other interests. Best of luck.

 

[deleted480308]

I had other careers and multiple temporary jobs prior to med school. Being a doctor is easily the best gig

i know the med school grind sucks. I was also depressed during a portion of It. This gets better, keep your head and keep going to counseling. Do a little exercise, try to eat healthy, pick a short/easier residency and then pick a job based more on schedule than prestige/money

 

[Calizboosted76]

Take my advice for what it’s worth since I am applying this cycle. Some and I mean SOME, Of the physicians you will meet once you begin working will be lifelong friends.

Look at medical school like middle school or high-school, how many people normally remain friends after these? Slim to none. Once you are practicing, you will find the friends that you NEED at the right time. Not the friends that you want. If all else fails my inbox is always open if you need someone to talk to!

 

[Faha]

At a minimum, try to graduate from DO school and then finish at least your PGY-1 year of residency. If for some reason you do not enjoy patient contact then choose a residency such as Pathology. It is important to finish the PGY-1 year since then you can obtain a medical license in some states after 1 year of residency. A medical license will open up opportunities for you in the medical-pharmaceutical industry as well as in research and teaching if you are not inclined to direct patient care. Also, a medical degree will greatly improve your dating opportunities.

 

[Dave1980]

I have no friends. I am single and haven't received any romantic attention in multiple years due to no friends=no life.

I went into this for social status, money and because my parents pushed me to do this.

I think you are miserable because of the bolded statements and not because of med school.

TBH I went into it mostly for the same reasons. I had a lot of family pressure to go to med school and now I'm very happy with my career because at the end of the road there is social status and money. Find a field you tolerate, make friends, go on a dating app and enjoy your life.

 

[Black Mamba Gene]

status i get why some students might want to become doctors.

But $ is never a good reason to want to become a physician.
The opportunity cost is way too high (700k-1mil+). Better to get a computer programming degree and get into tech right after undergrad or do investment banking if you care about money. If you know how to invest your money and make a good career choice, you will make far more if you do not pursue medicine.

 

[Black Mamba Gene]

Just starting M3 and I feel like attending medical school is the biggest mistake of my life.

I wake up miserable. I have no friends. I am single and haven't received any romantic attention in multiple years due to no friends=no life. Addressing either of these things under the immense stress of premed and medical school has been almost impossible for me. I wasted my college years studying only to find out that I don't find medicine fulfilling or interesting at all and now I have virtually nothing I really care about (friends/fun/gf). I'm paying a FORTUNE for a school that treats me like dirt and provides almost no real services for the tens of thousands I give them per year.

I went into this for social status, money and because my parents pushed me to do this. I never even wanted to go to undergrad in the first place. When I think about doing clinical and residency I want to cry. I am so tired of constantly competing at an insane level just to keep up with the other kids not for the sake of learning but because you have to for the sake of it. I want to be "good enough" and go the f**k home at a reasonable hour. I tried to take a LOA but my family said I wouldn't be allowed to move home if I did and I'd be homeless. I have tried therapy and the answer I found is that I'm miserable because I'm here and this s**t is just not for me. The future fills me with an immense sense of dread and my family and I fight on the phone every time we talk.

I would drop out today but because I spent my time in college studying I have no connections at all with which to find a job. Even before COVID I struggled to find a minimum wage job with my BS. I don't really know what I want from making this post but I have to tell someone.

also I believe there are other factors in play here. I think you need a better support system with friends, etc. Try going out, meeting new people if you think you cannot make friends with your classmates. Your friends do not have to be only medical students. Start working out, etc. What are your hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time?

 

[Angus Avagadro]

Just starting M3 and I feel like attending medical school is the biggest mistake of my life.

I wake up miserable. I have no friends. I am single and haven't received any romantic attention in multiple years due to no friends=no life. Addressing either of these things under the immense stress of premed and medical school has been almost impossible for me. I wasted my college years studying only to find out that I don't find medicine fulfilling or interesting at all and now I have virtually nothing I really care about (friends/fun/gf). I'm paying a FORTUNE for a school that treats me like dirt and provides almost no real services for the tens of thousands I give them per year.

I went into this for social status, money and because my parents pushed me to do this. I never even wanted to go to undergrad in the first place. When I think about doing clinical and residency I want to cry. I am so tired of constantly competing at an insane level just to keep up with the other kids not for the sake of learning but because you have to for the sake of it. I want to be "good enough" and go the f**k home at a reasonable hour. I tried to take a LOA but my family said I wouldn't be allowed to move home if I did and I'd be homeless. I have tried therapy and the answer I found is that I'm miserable because I'm here and this s**t is just not for me. The future fills me with an immense sense of dread and my family and I fight on the phone every time we talk.

I would drop out today but because I spent my time in college studying I have no connections at all with which to find a job. Even before COVID I struggled to find a minimum wage job with my BS. I don't really know what I want from making this post but I have to tell someone.

Just starting M3 and you're miserable? Welcome to M3. Nobody told you that when you started med school with your BA and other advanced degree, you would be on the bottom of the totem pole again. Remember freshman year of high school? College? Well, once again as an M1, you are low man. Now, suffer through 2 years of hardcore basic science and Step 1. You now are an M3 and just about useless on rounds, especially if you start out on surgery. You are REALLY at the bottom of the pole now. People avoid you because you will slow them down. We were all there once. I have good news. It gets better, and you will get better and they will let you do more. You will get more interested. You are only 2 months into M3. Hang in there. You will be glad you did. Good luck and best wishes!

 

[Calizboosted76]

Just starting M3 and you're miserable? Welcome to M3. Nobody told you that when you started med school with your BA and other advanced degree, you would be on the bottom of the totem pole again. Remember freshman year of high school? College? Well, once again as an M1, you are low man. Now, suffer through 2 years of hardcore basic science and Step 1. You now are an M3 and just about useless on rounds, especially if you start out on surgery. You are REALLY at the bottom of the pole now. People avoid you because you will slow rhem down. We were all there once. I have good news. It gets better, and you will get better and they will let you do more. You will get more interested. You are only 2 months into M3. Hang in there. You will be glad you did. Good luck and best wishes!

Wise words from a wise individual right here.

 

[8YearsLate]

At a minimum, try to graduate from DO school and then finish at least your PGY-1 year of residency. If for some reason you do not enjoy patient contact then choose a residency such as Pathology. It is important to finish the PGY-1 year since then you can obtain a medical license in some states after 1 year of residency. A medical license will open up opportunities for you in the medical-pharmaceutical industry as well as in research and teaching if you are not inclined to direct patient care. Also, a medical degree will greatly improve your dating opportunities.

^This is very practical advice.

Some other ideas for the meantime: Volunteer in a different field and/or get a hobby that is not science-related. I work in a non-medical profession. I've been learning a second language. I try to keep the right side of my brain happy.

Speaking as someone who has had MANY ****ty jobs, has been bullied/harassed/underpaid/you name it, I'm telling you - you have it good now, and it will only get better. The idea that you have to "love your job" is a myth. You can be good at your job and contribute to the field without being in love with it. You can also be happy, if you learn to compartmentalize it that way.

Three of my close friends are physicians. A did it for the ladies. B did it for the prestige. C did it because her family pushed her. None of them like being physicians. But they do like hockey, traveling, and yoga, respectively. A uses dating apps and gets lots of dates. B is married with kids. C dates other people in the medical field who understand the schedule.

I know you're venting, but it's time to find some hobbies, and a little gratitude. One day you'll look back and be grateful that you didn't let your feelings dismantle your future. Oh, and as far as mental health goes - everyone's going through it right now. You are not alone. Traditional therapy isn't for everyone. I did it for years and no longer find it helps. But I've found my own therapies, and you can, too.

 

[Ho0v-man]

Hey just checking in to say I was super burnt out and depressed after boards too. Like to the point where two months later I was just starting to feel like a person again. Once I got over that, I realized third year isn’t anywhere near as bad. Yeah, your time isn’t your own and that sucks. But in preclinical you can fail if you don’t know all three agars of some bug that isn’t in FA or sketchy. Or you fail if every step of a biochem pathway that has one question in uworld isn’t memorized cold. Etc etc. In third year you easily pass by showing up on time and kind of trying. Yeah, you should do more. But the bar to get through is so much lower. I’ve had IM residents give me a hard time for studying in my down time. There’s people going into less competitive fields who are straight up going through the motions and will match very comfortably. It’s really downhill from here.

Good luck!

 

[BigChris8]

When you quit medical school, what if you discover that you’re being “treated like dirt” by your demanding supervisor? What if your line of work requires you to “compete at an insane level” or disallows you from “going the f**k home at a reasonable hour”?

Worse yet, what if you discover that your problems making friends and establishing relationships follow you wherever you go? What if medical school and your “wasted” college years were, all along, just convenient scapegoats for your own social and romantic shortcomings?

You’re just a cog in a machine that’s aching to be a cog in another machine. We live in a world of hierarchy, where shot-callers take enormous dumps on the weak and where moving up in the world means allowing extra helpings of heaven-sent poo to accumulate on your face. Don’t drop out. Sublimate your misery with more studying, and try to look forward to the 50-hour-week, $200k/year dream. The world outside of medical school sucks just as much ass, if not more ass. I’ve lived that life.

This. A lot of people are unhappy because of social or personal problems, not simply because of career choice. The grass always seems greener on the other side. The reality is that suffering and pain is an inescapable reality of everyone's life, regardless of career choice.

 

[ciestar]

Im sorry you’re dealing with this. A lot of good advice has been given here though.

I will say, i worked crappy retail jobs in between undergrad and med school. You get treated like dirt basically everywhere. Id rather be a resident than back at CVS any day.

 

[deleted1074007]

This is kinda old now.... but here's my unsolicited ramble.


Tinder kinda sucks now. But you can usually find a date on there.

Goro mentioned the military, and if you really want out of school, I think thats a great way to go. Also can get away from your folks that way (idk if you want to do that). I joined the service to get away from my ****ed up family for a few years and get my head on straight. You'll have purpose, a tight group of incredibly close folks you work and live with, a solid pay check, opportunity to travel and you'll learn how much you are capable of suffering through and overcoming.
My time in the Navy was the best decision I ever made. I felt like you when I signed up... afraid of failing in the real world, incredibly alone and kinda frustrated that none of this life made sense.
**** still doesn't make sense but the military is the whole reason I am the (somewhat) responsible, hard working person I am today.
If I dropped out of medical school, which I've thought about many times, I'd going Marine Corps infantry officer or Fire Academy. But I think I'll stay and do EM. A lot of badass skills, treat and hangout with patients who have been through a lot of suffering, and enough spare time and $$ to pursue family (or romance).

All that being said, the idea of "sublimating your pain" and studying your ass off.... is probably the best thing you can do for your future family/kids, if you decide to partake in that lifestyle. The older I get the more I realize that nothing in life "feels" right- like the way people say it should. Its only what you DECIDE to make feel right that matters. Wish you well!

 

[DoctorDoomMD]

Grind through medical school + do a light residency specialty like Family Medicine or PM&R where you can get a cush schedule as an attending ? I assume that you already have around $100K in debt. If you couldn't get a job earlier, it will be a lot tougher now depending on where you live.

 

[frenchyn]

I just witnessed a young patient died today...unexpectedly...leaving behind his family...sure if you don’t want to do medicine because you can’t think of yourself doing it...quit...don’t torture yourself...but if you don’t want to do medicine because you don’t get romantic relationship...think how fortunate you are to be alive and to have a chance to go to medical school which a lot of people don’t have no matter how hard they work for it. I agree, your family situation sucks...but some other reasons you stated are nothing but entitled.

 

[WhereMyLiberalsAt]

I just witnessed a young patient died today...unexpectedly...leaving behind his family...sure if you don’t want to do medicine because you can’t think of yourself doing it...quit...don’t torture yourself...but if you don’t want to do medicine because you don’t get romantic relationship...think how fortunate you are to be alive and to have a chance to go to medical school which a lot of people don’t have no matter how hard they work for it. I agree, your family situation sucks...but some other reasons you stated are nothing but entitled.

Someone’s struggle << death

I also work under that forced dichotomy!

I take it you crushed the “empathy question” on interviews too?!

 

[crimsonly]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. As much as I’d like to say you “shouldn’t have” gone to Med school in the first place, I know that many of us were young and less introspective when we applied to medical school. Hindsight is always 20/20 but if it helps puts things into perspective, most people in the non-medicine world absolutely hate their desk jobs. Even with a bachelors from a nice university, you may find yourself hitting the work ceiling fast. I will never forget the few post-grad years I spent living in the most expensive city in the U.S. wondering how a nice university degree led me to make nearly minimum wage, barely making rent, constantly trying to decide between walking 10 blocks through unsafe streets vs calling a $15 uber just to get home. I will thankfully never have to make that decision again.

Medicine is a very long journey but every year of training is fast-paced, dynamic and has incredible structure. 10 years of your career schedule planned out for you with guaranteed 200k vs 10 yrs at a monotonous desk job? I would choose the former. Plus, with an MD, you have the ability to choose how to allocate your time (teaching vs consulting vs clinical or w/e).

 

[Dr Meow]

You're already more than half way there.
Just finish it.

Unless you really believe in a strong alternative. And don't be thinking like, "if I leave med school, I can start a successful business and then start a successful family and be happy". This was a thought that kept appearing in my mind as a scientist, but I've tried starting many ideas but didn't have enough motivation, knowledge, money, or time to be successful.

What will you do when you quit?
If you're coming from a biomedical background, you're looking at being a technician or low-end scientist (unless you do phD which is the most OVER-POPULATED doctoral degree). You'd make about 40 - 75K most of your time before MAYBE climbing to around 100K later when you're old. And you STILL won't have time to live life. You're going to be 40 doing your post-doc making 60-70K.

Really consider whether your alternatives are EVEN WORSE. I've spent the past 7 years contemplating that. Hence switching from biotech to medicine.
Medicine isn't going anywhere. You get a stable high paying job. Furthermore, medical jobs do not overpopulate as much as other fields. PhD's are tremendously overpopulated.

Computer jobs treat coders/analysts like trash without the prestige. However, a BS in IT can get you 70K on entry and climb up to around 100K for the standard software QC/QA job. If you're special, you can make 150K+ but it's not a guarantee. But it's easy to get fired because coders are a dime a dozen.

Point is: Life if tough everywhere. You either live a tough life with a high pay ceiling + respect, or you live a tough life flipping burgers with **** pay or doing mindless technician work for meager pay.

As for your complaint about getting a girlfriend....YO! your priorities are literally flipped from mine. I Entered med school so that I would be COMPETITIVE to get a girlfriend. The dating market is NOT in favor towards men. Online dating is BS. And you're better off finding someone in med school who you know would be as successful as you and you're not ending up with a gold digger.

If you quit med school, it's not causal that you're going to get a girlfriend. And even if you do, you may wonder 10 years later, "why the **** did I screw up my life for this hoe".

 

[frenchyn]

Someone’s struggle << death

I also work under that forced dichotomy!

I take it you crushed the “empathy question” on interviews too?!

Say that to the patient that died...say that to the fam that lost son, husband, father, and brother...sorry for your loss but my life sucks too...I have not gotten any romantic relationship recently.

I am not trying to downplay OP situation...but compare to people who lost their lives or families...and third world countries, learn to appreciate your lives every now and then...you will be more happy than expecting to have everything in lives..‍♀️

And I aced empathy on interview btw...I don’t go on a forum question complaining my career choice because of my lack of romantic relationship when my patient just died or their families just lost their loved ones...my struggles are nothing compared to them...

You think OP said I hate med school but I have no romantic relationship recently is emphatic

I don’t want a physician taking care of me who hates their profession because they have not get laid recently btw...obviously their priority is not me the patient...what a empathetic doctor toward the patients or themselves is the question.

 

[sloh]

A lot of the practice of medicine isn't glamorous. There are niches where you can make a very comfortable living with good hours and lifestyle though. Don't leave medicine.

 

[deleted1074007]

I do not think you should SEEK a gf/SO who is also in med school. But that is a completely biased, unnecessary personal opinion. Find happiness away from the clown circus.