Trink: Honey, we are almost in exactly the same boat, although i am sure we took different roads to get there. I am 25 years old. I graduated at the top of my class in high school, and then have been "floating" and "living" for the past 7 years. In high school, I never studied for squat, and still ranked numero uno. However, I wanted to just live when i got out. I wanted to party, and meet guys, and date, and have relationships, and act in plays, and just have fun (newsflash: i'm gay, if you didn't figure that out already). Along the way when i wasn't feeling so hot, I wasn't the smartest boy (read: I didn't always use condoms). After a few dozen of these encounters, I sort of convinced myself that i was probably HIV positive, and would just have to deal with it. I never had a test before, but I just KNEW that after all those times of being stupid, I couldn't be THAT lucky. I don't know why I was so stupid at the time (looking back), I was just feeling sorry for myself because i wasn't sure if I'd ever go to school, or find my true calling, or if i could ever be proud of myself (what's a valedictorian to do?
)
WELL, after a few years, I decided to take the "plunge" and go have a HIV test. I knew that I hadn't had unsafe sex in a long time, so the test would tell the true story. AMAZINGLY, i was negative (another test 6 months later confirmed). I walked home and passed a hospital, and breathed in cool fresh Chicago air. The world never looked so good, and I wanted to give something back. All of the sudden, I knew SOMEONE gave me a second chance, and i was not about to waste it. After a LOT of soul searching (and i am sure more to come) I felt that becoming a doctor was where I needed to be.
And I am TOTALLY like you. I read ANYTHING I can get my hands on, and it is all I think about. Additionally, I have GREAT study habits now, and class is easy, because I am MOTIVATED to learn and LIVE. So here i am, an old fogey
in pre-med at age 25. I always tell the few people who know about this that it was like Monty Hall and "Let's Make a Deal"...all these curtains just lifted up in front of me, and i saw the oppurtunities and my dreams, and I KNEW i could do it. And I will.
And you will too!!!
Persevere, work hard, and HOLD ONTO YOUR DREAMS. I am very thankful I still have mine. Anytime i think of losing them, I just remember how blessed I am, and I INSIST on my happiness. Maybe i will meet you someitme in the future, and we can laugh about how we ever doubted ourselves. Sorry this got so long and so God-awful dramatic, but I wanted to share a good story with Trink. I hope i didn't sound too much like a pre-med Tony Robbins.
YOU CAN DO IT!
[This message has been edited by tennisboy93 (edited 02-17-2000).]
