I wasted 10 years trying to study for the MCAT. Should I keep trying or should I change careers

[mike1234594]

Hello Everyone, I am 28 yo . I am reaching out with the hope that I can get some insight or opinion, for I have failed to reach a conclusion on my own and I it has been taking an emotional toll on me.

I am in a critical situation. I have been premed since I was a freshman in college. I excelled in all my classes up until I was a junior. I had a 4.0 as a Biology Premed. Things went downhill from there, I started partying, getting into toxic relationships, etc. and the worst of all is that I wanted to take the MCAT back in 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, up until today 2021. I have put my life on hold for 8 years now trying to "study" and take the mcat. I turned down many job opportunities, internships, relationships, social evens, family events, advanced education opportunities, money opportunities, just to study for the mcat. Can you imagine, I have wasted 8 years of my life. my senior year took me 4 extra years to finish because I left school before earning my bachelors. I earned my bachelors with high honors eventually but after what? After I missed all the opportunities. I am full of regret and I am resentful. It was all my fault. I was stuck in a life where I was comparing myself to my peers, doubting myself, being a pessimist and day dreaming, spending time on my bed doing absolutely nothing, binging on youtube, wondering what if I didn't waste time, trying to figure what the hell has happened to me, why did I go from a 4.0 student to an absolute loser. I am full of regret. However, the story does not end there..

As of today, I am 28 yo, feeling old af, wondering what should I do with my life. I work part time and I still drive to coffee shops everyday with a backpack on my back where I sit down and "study" for the MCAT. yes, I have been trying to study for 8 years. At the same time, I don't even know if I want to get into medicine anymore. I was a young kid in my early twenties, full of energy and ambition, on the top of my class, with 1000 hours of volunteer work, vice president of a premed club, 4.0 GPA, research and shadowing experience, looking forward to the day I get into medical school. But today I do not have any drive whatsoever. I regret everyday, I have no drive or energy to be happy. Even if I take the MCAT now, I don't know if I want to sacrifice my 30s, get in $250k debt, handle the stress of med school and residency to become a physician at 38. I know age is just a number, but I think its important to be aware of the sacrifices that I have to make, especially with the past experiences that I have passed through. I am afraid history will repeat itself, I am afraid that I am not good enough and I want to start making money. I lost the confidence that I once had. I avoid my successful friends who all advanced in their careers while I am still carrying a backpack to study for a the MCAT. I took a random practice test back in December and I scored 500 (50%) percentile, but I haven't studied anything since then. What do you guys think my problem is and do you guys have any advice. I know my case is quite extreme. I always thought that I should not give up, but by doing so I wasted 8 years of my life. I still had some "fun" during these years, but nothing significant really.

On the other hand, I thought about something else earlier this year. I applied to a masters program in business analytics at a top 2 and a very prestigious school in my state. I got accepted because I had a good gpa and experience from my undergrad. This masters will allow me to get a job in business analytics/data science that pays $75-90k. I don't know how easy or hard it is to get a job in this field. I don't know anything about the field, so I have to learn about it and learn the basic skills if I want to start in the fall.

As of today, I am literally not doing anything with my life. I do not consider my part time job a job. It barely pays any money. Should I keep studying for the MCAT in the next couple of months? Should I find a full time job with my bachelors degree until August then start my masters in the fall? Should I keep trying to get into medicine. I am completely lost guys. I would accept any constructive criticism but please don't be too harsh because I know that I got myself here and I have to pay the price of being stupid.

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[Ms Procrastinator]

tl;dr why did it take 10 years for you to study for the MCAT? You should really think about that before you try to get into med school. You seem to have test taking issues and I don't think med schools have dedicated step times that long.

 

[alm414]

If you want specific advice about how to build an application/how to get into medical school, we can give advice. But no one here will be able to give advice on what you should do with your life. Only you can answer that question.

 

[Shunsui]

If you've been trying to study 8 years for one exam and have been unsuccessful thus far, I think that's a sign. I also think actively seeking out and applying to this masters program in business is another sign. I think you're holding on to your past ambitions and accomplishments (4.0, prez, top of class) and it's likely time to move on, imo.

Of course you could always go all in and try to get in, but I personally wouldn't. Likely would apply 2022-23 cycle and if successful, would be ~30 when starting. 34 when done with med school. ~38-40 when you start making physician salary. Likely come out with a couple hundred thousand in debt. Does this sound appealing?

 

[mike1234594]

tl;dr why did it take 10 years for you to study for the MCAT? You should really think about that before you try to get into med school. You seem to have test taking issues and I don't think med schools have dedicated step times that long.

I have no idea honestly. I messed up badly and maybe sdn is not the right place to talk about my issues. I agree that med school is not for me if I was not able to take the mcat for that long

 

[EdgeTrimmer]

Hello Everyone, I am 28 yo . I am reaching out with the hope that I can get some insight or opinion, for I have failed to reach a conclusion on my own and I it has been taking an emotional toll on me.

I am in a critical situation. I have been premed since I was a freshman in college. I excelled in all my classes up until I was a junior. I had a 4.0 as a Biology Premed. Things went downhill from there, I started partying, getting into toxic relationships, etc. and the worst of all is that I wanted to take the MCAT back in 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, up until today 2021. I have put my life on hold for 8 years now trying to "study" and take the mcat. I turned down many job opportunities, internships, relationships, social evens, family events, advanced education opportunities, money opportunities, just to study for the mcat. Can you imagine, I have wasted 8 years of my life. my senior year took me 4 extra years to finish because I left school before earning my bachelors. I earned my bachelors with high honors eventually but after what? After I missed all the opportunities. I am full of regret and I am resentful. It was all my fault. I was stuck in a life where I was comparing myself to my peers, doubting myself, being a pessimist and day dreaming, spending time on my bed doing absolutely nothing, binging on youtube, wondering what if I didn't waste time, trying to figure what the hell has happened to me, why did I go from a 4.0 student to an absolute loser. I am full of regret. However, the story does not end there..

As of today, I am 28 yo, feeling old af, wondering what should I do with my life. I work part time and I still drive to coffee shops everyday with a backpack on my back where I sit down and "study" for the MCAT. yes, I have been trying to study for 8 years. At the same time, I don't even know if I want to get into medicine anymore. I was a young kid in my early twenties, full of energy and ambition, on the top of my class, with 1000 hours of volunteer work, vice president of a premed club, 4.0 GPA, research and shadowing experience, looking forward to the day I get into medical school. But today I do not have any drive whatsoever. I regret everyday, I have no drive or energy to be happy. Even if I take the MCAT now, I don't know if I want to sacrifice my 30s, get in $250k debt, handle the stress of med school and residency to become a physician at 38. I know age is just a number, but I think its important to be aware of the sacrifices that I have to make, especially with the past experiences that I have passed through. I am afraid history will repeat itself, I am afraid that I am not good enough and I want to start making money. I lost the confidence that I once had. I avoid my successful friends who all advanced in their careers while I am still carrying a backpack to study for a the MCAT. I took a random practice test back in December and I scored 500 (50%) percentile, but I haven't studied anything since then. What do you guys think my problem is and do you guys have any advice. I know my case is quite extreme. I always thought that I should not give up, but by doing so I wasted 8 years of my life. I still had some "fun" during these years, but nothing significant really.

On the other hand, I thought about something else earlier this year. I applied to a masters program in business analytics at a top 2 and a very prestigious school in my state. I got accepted because I had a good gpa and experience from my undergrad. This masters will allow me to get a job in business analytics/data science that pays $75-90k. I don't know how easy or hard it is to get a job in this field. I don't know anything about the field, so I have to learn about it and learn the basic skills if I want to start in the fall.

As of today, I am literally not doing anything with my life. I do not consider my part time job a job. It barely pays any money. Should I keep studying for the MCAT in the next couple of months? Should I find a full time job with my bachelors degree until August then start my masters in the fall? Should I keep trying to get into medicine. I am completely lost guys. I would accept any constructive criticism but please don't be too harsh because I know that I got myself here and I have to pay the price of being stupid.

Did you try to take one diagnostic test and see where you stand?

 

[mike1234594]

If you've been trying to study 8 years for one exam and have been unsuccessful thus far, I think that's a sign. I also think actively seeking out and applying to this masters program in business is another sign. I think you're holding on to your past ambitions and accomplishments (4.0, prez, top of class) and it's likely time to move on, imo.

Of course you could always go all in and try to get in, but I personally wouldn't. Likely would apply 2022-23 cycle and if successful, would be ~30 when starting. 34 when done with med school. ~38-40 when you start making physician salary. Likely come out with a couple hundred thousand in debt. Does this sound appealing?

Honestly it does not sound appealing. A big part of me not being able to focus, yet sticking to the idea of taking the test was the fact that I excelled in a very competitive premed program, arguably at one of the top programs in Texas, had excellent EC and I was very driven, and I did not want to take a loss. I dedicated so much time and energy and I was not able to move on. I kept fantasizing about my dream of becoming a physician to fulfill my dream, but my mindset was not there. I failed badly and was not able to recover. Time did not make my situation any better. And here I am afraid that I am ruined forever while reminiscing being a top student with many doors open.

 

[Putkernerinthehall]

It really doesn't sound like you are ready to go into medicine. Maybe take of stock of the skills you do have and pursue full time employment. Sometimes full-time, permanent work helps one get grounded and then you can look at where to go from there.

 

[Wisefool]

MCAT is not even the issue here.
You are not sure if medicine is for you or not. I am a non-trad. I will be 30 by the time I am done with Medical school. This does not bother me- since I know anything other than medicine would make me miserable. What does medicine mean to you? Answer that, and you will know whether to take the MCAT or not.

 

[mike1234594]

Did you try to take one diagnostic test and see where you stand?

I took my first full practice test ever in December 2020, without prep (the last I touched the books was in early 2019) and I scored 500 (127,122,126,125)

 

[drducky.]

You clearly can’t structure your own life so you should do medicine and let them tell you what to do and when to do it.

If you try to go the business route, you won’t have the discipline to go thru with it and find a job, whereas a job in medicine is guaranteed.

 

[mike1234594]

MCAT is not even the issue here.
You are not sure if medicine is for you or not. I am a non-trad. I will be 30 by the time I am done with Medical school. This does not bother me- since I know anything other than medicine would make me miserable. What does medicine mean to you? Answer that, and you will know whether to take the MCAT or not.

I agree, I always told myself that the MCAT was not the issue. I always thought that age is a problem for me, ever since I was 21, I know that sounds extremely stupid. I was always afraid that I might not match into a specialty that I want, I always thought that I wanted to make money in some career, but I loved science and I thought that medicine is a noble career. I knew that any other career would make me happy while young but medicine would give me long term satisfaction. But now that I am 28, I truly believe I am "old" for I want to make money and like a professional adult since I did not get the chance to do that fully in the past 5 years. Yet I am afraid that I am making a huge mistake by giving up ( yes I can see the 8 years pattern here). I am aware that no one can tell me what to do. I wish I know what to do, I don't think I would have came to this point if I knew what to do :/ maybe I am ranting, for I feel stuck at this point. I appreciate anyone who took the time to read my post

 

[Lemonlime98]

You haven't been studying for the mcat for 8 years if the first practice test you took was in Dec 2020, and the last time you studied before that was early 2019. Studying random content for a few days every year is not studying for the mcat. You can prepare for the mcat for two or three months if you study 5 hours everyday consistently and efficiently (e.g. no Youtube or distractions). What exactly have you been doing in those coffee shops? Getting coffee and watching netflix? Stop studying at coffee shops and study at home. Make a schedule (tons available online) and stick to it. Buy the new versions of the Kaplan books and take practice tests on Uworld/the real aamc practice exams. You'be been using the mcat as an excuse to do nothing. I sympathize with you because I am also a master procrastinator who has trouble paying attention to tasks and waste hours/days binging shows. However, if you don't take responsibility for yourself, nothing will change. Even if you go to the master's program, if you don't fix your study habits, you won't pass. Dig deeper, why haven't you been able to focus on studying? Did you ever get tested for ADHD? Or do you have impulse issues? Not everyone is blessed with innate work ethic, but at this point, you have to reflect honestly on what steps you can take to better your future prospects. Try the pomodoro method if you have trouble staying focused.
I'd recommend giving yourself a hard deadline of 4 months to take the mcat for real. That's more than enough time to study for it. If you can't take the mcat by then, you are not ready for the workload of med school, which requires a sense of responsibility and tenacity.

 

[KnightDoc]

I took my first full practice test ever in December 2020, without prep (the last I touched the books was in early 2019) and I scored 500 (127,122,126,125)

Really? Never took a practice test EVER before December 2020? I'll admit, you are a freaking master at winding up the crowd!!!

I have taken only one practice test so far which was AAMC#4 and I scored a 27, which is below average but I am wondering if with right amount of practice I would raise my score dramatically.

Hello everyone,
The application for 2015-2016 cycle started and I need an advice please because I am truly lost. I am a first generation student, a chemistry senior with an overall GPA of 3.9. I have countless hours of extracurricular, volunteer work, great leadership experience etc... I have done some research as well, not as significant though, but it was enough for me to get the experience and a letter of recommendation. I have five letters of recommendations from professors, hospital supervisor and my premed committee at my school. Furthermore, I have a very good story for "why I chose medicine" plus I am from a disadvantaged background (btw i'm Caucasian.) Well, here is the core of my problem. My MCAT score is very bad. I am not sure about the reason though. I have always excelled in all my prerequisites, I made an A in physics and ochem when the class average was F. I took my MCAT in January and I ended up scoring a 18 (8P,2V yes 2, 8B). I was shocked when I saw my score, knowing that my average on practice exams wasn't even close to an 18 (it was like 29). I requested a rescore but it didn't change. 2 on verbal? you can guess and make a 3, like this is not even a score for someone who's English is 4th language.
Anyway, I have to apply this cycle because I don't want to waste more time of my life. BTW I am 23-ish.
I think I have no chances of getting an interview with such a low MCAT score. I am not really interested in Caribbean schools, but i won't mind MD or DO paths.
What do you guys think? Serious answers only please, I am depressed.

So you think that I should submit my application early, then retake the MCAT in August for example? Should I submit my first MCAT score(18) with the application or submit it with the new score?

TBH guys I am very concerned about my age. I am 22 now and I feel that I am too late in the process of going to med-school. Everyone i know either started medschool or applying now, even younger students, and I feel like I am behind. I am about to graduate and not sure what do next. This is the reason for why I am kinda depressed.

 

[mike1234594]

Really? Never took a practice test EVER before December 2020? I'll admit, you are a freaking master at winding up the crowd!!! i

I know. I am glad that you saw my other posts. It has been crazy. I hope I don't get made fun of because this is a very sensitive topic for me. It was funny before but I don't find it funny at this point. I've had this issue for long.

 

[mike1234594]

Really? Never took a practice test EVER before December 2020? I'll admit, you are a freaking master at winding up the crowd!!!

I took a test back in 2014 without real studying. I never took a practice test for that test that I took

 

[Banco]

You had me in the first half, not gonna lie

 

[KnightDoc]

I know. I am glad that you saw my other posts. It has been crazy. I hope I don't get made fun of because this is a very sensitive topic for me. It was funny before but I don't find it funny at this point. I've had this issue for long.

No one is making fun of you. Your post history indicates that you just occasionally come here to make fun of the rest of us by dicking us around and seeing how we respond.

If you're not totally full of crap, then you have certainly been at this long enough to know exactly what it takes to be successful (or not) and you honestly do not need anyone's advice, so your posts are totally pointless other than to troll us. If something else is going on, then, yeah, the help you need is far beyond the scope of SDN. Either way, good luck to you!!!

 

[CorgiLoaf]

Before you even sit down to think if you truly do enjoy medicine, you need to reach out to a professional and address your mental state. I would suggest taking a few months, even a year, to work through your issues with a psychologist/psychiatrist. It sounds like you are a very goal-oriented person and getting derailed led to a positive feedback loop of shame and regret.

And no, 28 isn't too "old" to start medical school. You can even start in your mid-30s without it being "too late." The only difference is, you'll probably have to retire a bit later and you won't have as cushy a lifestyle as a 22yo who started.

I don't think this is a troll. The age matches up and the story sounds like someone who is deeply depressed (if the MCAT is the big struggle, it's not suspect to hide a terrible score). Also, who would wait 6 years in-between posts to score pity points from strangers.

 

[mike1234594]

No one is making fun of you. Your post history indicates that you just occasionally come here to make fun of the rest of us by dicking us around and seeing how we respond. If you're not totally full of crap, then you have certainly been at this long enough to know exactly what it takes to be successful (or not) and that you honestly do not need anyone's advice, so your posts are totally pointless other than to troll us.

I appreciate your input and thank you for taking the time to read my post. I am not trolling. Honestly I just think that my situation is really bad to the point where it seems like I am trolling haha. Its funny yet sad. I know what it take to get into medical school. Unfortunately I was not able to get through it.

 

[mike1234594]

Before you even sit down to think if you truly do enjoy medicine, you need to reach out to a professional and address your mental state. I would suggest taking a few months, even a year, to work through your issues with a psychologist/psychiatrist. It sounds like you are a very goal-oriented person and getting derailed led to a positive feedback loop of shame and regret.

And no, 28 isn't too "old" to start medical school. You can even start in your mid-30s without it being "too late." The only difference is, you'll probably have to retire a bit later and you won't have as cushy a lifestyle as a 22yo who started.

I don't think this is a troll. The age matches up and the story sounds like someone who is deeply depressed (if the MCAT is the big struggle, it's not suspect to hide a terrible score). Also, who would wait 6 years in-between posts to score pity points from strangers.

Thank you for your post. This is indeed what happened. I was always afraid to step in because I wanted to score that 95%, it never happened because I never tried. Even I see myself struggling with idea of the masters degree now because all I am looking at is companies like google and mckinsey ( I haven't even started!!!) and the idea for settling for anything less is stressing me out. Then comes the idea of what if I don't get a job at all haha. I went to psychiatrist for an ADHD diagnosis and he told me that it doesn't sound like I have ADHD, he said I might have it to a slight degree and he prescribed me adderall. I hated adderall. The side effects were horrible. Even with Aderrall I was doing everything except for studying for the MCAT :/

 

[Wisefool]

I personally don't think he is trolling or trying to sequester attention . You need to sit down and really make a decision about what you want to do. Looking at your older post, it looks like you have used age as an excuse from taking a real shot at applying. You keep coming back to medicine and some part of you does not want to give up . There are underlying issues that you are not taking care of- I hope you find someone irl to discuss this with. Just have an honest conversation with yourself about what you want in life. Good luck!

 

[mike1234594]

You haven't been studying for the mcat for 8 years if the first practice test you took was in Dec 2020, and the last time you studied before that was early 2019. Studying random content for a few days every year is not studying for the mcat. You can prepare for the mcat for two or three months if you study 5 hours everyday consistently and efficiently (e.g. no Youtube or distractions). What exactly have you been doing in those coffee shops? Getting coffee and watching netflix? Stop studying at coffee shops and study at home. Make a schedule (tons available online) and stick to it. Buy the new versions of the Kaplan books and take practice tests on Uworld/the real aamc practice exams. You'be been using the mcat as an excuse to do nothing. I sympathize with you because I am also a master procrastinator who has trouble paying attention to tasks and waste hours/days binging shows. However, if you don't take responsibility for yourself, nothing will change. Even if you go to the master's program, if you don't fix your study habits, you won't pass. Dig deeper, why haven't you been able to focus on studying? Did you ever get tested for ADHD? Or do you have impulse issues? Not everyone is blessed with innate work ethic, but at this point, you have to reflect honestly on what steps you can take to better your future prospects. Try the pomodoro method if you have trouble staying focused.
I'd recommend giving yourself a hard deadline of 4 months to take the mcat for real. That's more than enough time to study for it. If you can't take the mcat by then, you are not ready for the workload of med school, which requires a sense of responsibility and tenacity.

I agree, I haven't been studying consistently for 8 years. I have never studied for 2 months consistently either. It was scattered and all over the place. I went to psychiatrist for an ADHD diagnosis and he told me that it doesn't sound like I have ADHD, he said I might have it to a slight degree and he prescribed me adderall. I hated adderall. The side effects were horrible. Even with Aderrall I was doing everything except for studying for the MCAT. To make it even worse, I have spent thousands of dollars on UW subscriptions and now memm flashcards (instead of anki), I have paid so much money in fees to register and reschedule the test by the time I was not even ready to take it. I definitely need to find a clinical psychologist, maybe there is an underlying issue/issues that needs to be resolved. I kept insisting on the MCAT because I knew that if I put my mind into it then I can do really well ( ONLY IF I SIT DOWN AND STUDY), it never happened. I have caused everyone around me a lot of stress. I wake up disappointed in myself every single day because I had so much potential and opportunity but I threw it down the drain.

 

[mike1234594]

I personally don't think he is trolling or trying to sequester attention . You need to sit down and really make a decision about what you want to do. Looking at your older post, it looks like you have used age as an excuse from taking a real shot at applying. You keep coming back to medicine and some part of you does not want to give up . There are underlying issues that you are not taking care of- I hope you find someone irl to discuss this with. Just have an honest conversation with yourself about what you want in life. Good luck!

Thank you for understanding. I am not trolling honestly or I could have made a new account. I was surprised at my old posts when I reset my password. I realized that I had this issue for so long and it is very sad. I will start looking for a clinical psychologist and try cognitive behavioral therapy. This mentality has affected every single aspect of my life.

 

[CorgiLoaf]

Thank you for understanding. I am not trolling honestly or I could have made a new account. I was surprised at my old posts when I reset my password. I realized that I had this issue for so long and it is very sad. I will start looking for a clinical psychologist and try cognitive behavioral therapy. This mentality has affected every single aspect of my life.

Make an appointment with a psychologist this week and lay out everything. You need to address your underlying perfectionism and insecurities.
I went through a diluted version when I was younger (fear of failure/perfectionism), and it sucked. You are your worst enemy sometimes.
There's no leaderboard at the end of life and I can tell you that none of my friends give a **** what each other does. You don't need to be a physician or work at Google to find fulfillment in life.

My advice? Forget about the MCAT and use your coffeeshop time to look for psychologists.

 

[mike1234594]

Make an appointment with a psychologist this week and lay out everything. You need to address your underlying perfectionism and insecurities.
I went through a diluted version when I was younger (fear of failure/perfectionism), and it sucked. You are your worst enemy sometimes.
There's no leaderboard at the end of life and I can tell you that none of my friends give a **** what each other does. You don't need to be a physician or work at Google to find fulfillment in life.

My advice? Forget about the MCAT and use your coffeeshop time to look for psychologists.

Thank you so much. I will stop "studying" for the MCAT now. I have some underlying issues that I need to address before moving forward. Apparently the MCAT is not my problem. I wish I started earlier and didn't wait that long. I will look for a psychologist tomorrow. Do you recommend a specific psychologist to look into?

 

[Ezryk]

While this is by no means equal to what you've been going through, I hope some of my insight I've stumbled across may help you. I started a very stressful job in the midst of the pandemic last year, and, wanting to succeed and prove myself, I took on waaaayy too much. I had no barriers between work and life. Three months in I realized it just wasn't sustainable and had to make some changes. I didn't want to quit, just as it appears you feel about medicine (that's commendable in itself, and will take you far).

Anyway, throughout this situation, the one thought that helped me immensely is that you are never stuck where you are. You have the autonomy to make the decision to leave this behind, in search of something that fits you better. It's okay to cut your losses - honestly, if you picture yourself NOT going to the coffee shop to study for something you might not even want, all for the recognition of others, I think you will find that you are incredibly relieved. Proverbial weights may fall off your shoulders. Clearly, you have an amazing support system in place - so lean into that. Once stuff opens back up, go travel, maybe create your own business; anything that is truly meaningful to you. It's okay to not want to do medicine. It's really okay.

Your commitment abilities are a gift, and I think we're all excited to see where they take you.

Much love stranger, reach out anytime.

 

[CorgiLoaf]

Thank you so much. I will stop "studying" for the MCAT now. I have some underlying issues that I need to address before moving forward. Apparently the MCAT is not my problem. I wish I started earlier and didn't wait that long. I will look for a psychologist tomorrow. Do you recommend a specific psychologist to look into?

A clinical psychologist would be the best option.

Give yourself a small goal each day. Tomorrow, you can make a list of 10 clin. psychologists in the area. Wednesday, you can call 2 of them. Thursday, 3, etc. Setting up small goals to accomplish will help you take a small measure of control back in your life.

Good luck! I sincerely hope you'll get better and find a fulfilling career, medicine or not.

 

[FutureInternist]

If you want specific advice about how to build an application/how to get into medical school, we can give advice. But no one here will be able to give advice on what you should do with your life. Only you can answer that question.

I will ... 😏.
Whether the MCAT tests actual medical knowledge and predicts how good of a doctor one will be is debatable, BUT it is something you MUST achieve in order to move on to the next (of many) steps.
Even IF you do well the next time around, how will you explain the TEN years it took to get that grade when others got it on 1st or 2nd tries.
Then even IF you get in to medical school, how do you expect to pass Step 1, 2, 3, and then speciality specific boards all in a “one and done” kind of situation.
Currently, you do not have the $200 K debt hanging over you and hence have time to cut your losses.

Take the analytics job

 

[mike1234594]

I will ... 😏.
Whether the MCAT tests actual medical knowledge and predicts how good of a doctor one will be is debatable, BUT it is something you MUST achieve in order to move on to the next (of many) steps.
Even IF you do well the next time around, how will you explain the TEN years it took to get that grade when others got it on 1st or 2nd tries.
Then even IF you get in to medical school, how do you expect to pass Step 1, 2, 3, and then speciality specific boards all in a “one and done” kind of situation.
Currently, you do not have the $200 K debt hanging over you and hence have time to cut your losses.

Take the analytics job

My mom said thank you so much haha. I told her that I posted on sdn and she has been encouraging me to make the switch to business analytics. Simultaneously, I will find a clinical psychologist and address my underlying issues that I am not aware of.

 

[mike1234594]

While this is by no means equal to what you've been going through, I hope some of my insight I've stumbled across may help you. I started a very stressful job in the midst of the pandemic last year, and, wanting to succeed and prove myself, I took on waaaayy too much. I had no barriers between work and life. Three months in I realized it just wasn't sustainable and had to make some changes. I didn't want to quit, just as it appears you feel about medicine (that's commendable in itself, and will take you far).

Anyway, throughout this situation, the one thought that helped me immensely is that you are never stuck where you are. You have the autonomy to make the decision to leave this behind, in search of something that fits you better. It's okay to cut your losses - honestly, if you picture yourself NOT going to the coffee shop to study for something you might not even want, all for the recognition of others, I think you will find that you are incredibly relieved. Proverbial weights may fall off your shoulders. Clearly, you have an amazing support system in place - so lean into that. Once stuff opens back up, go travel, maybe create your own business; anything that is truly meaningful to you. It's okay to not want to do medicine. It's really okay.

Your commitment abilities are a gift, and I think we're all excited to see where they take you.

Much love stranger, reach out anytime.

Thank You so much for sharing your experience, it is most definitely a valuable insight. I am glad I posted on sdn for I was lost. I know that I am being very vulnerable by posting and risking looking like a loser or getting judged. I definitely don't see myself going to coffee shops to study anymore. I visited every single coffee shop in the area. I got familiar with coffee shops to the point where I was dating some of the baristas. I was spending time talking to the baristas about "how I will become a doctor" instead of studying. I did have times where I was dedicated. one time I spend 6 weeks of dedicated studying, yet i didn't take a practice test or moved forward. I stopped afterwards. I agree with you on the weight over my shoulders. It has been paralyzing, not being able to move forward with it or be able to let go. I hope I will figure it out this year and not prolong it to come back and post about my MCAT in 2027.

 

[mike1234594]

A clinical psychologist would be the best option.

Give yourself a small goal each day. Tomorrow, you can make a list of 10 clin. psychologists in the area. Wednesday, you can call 2 of them. Thursday, 3, etc. Setting up small goals to accomplish will help you take a small measure of control back in your life.

Good luck! I sincerely hope you'll get better and find a fulfilling career, medicine or not.

Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. I am very grateful for this forum. I was driving myself crazy

 

[Damson]

Really? Never took a practice test EVER before December 2020? I'll admit, you are a freaking master at winding up the crowd!!!

It may be hard for you to imagine him never pushing himself to take the practice test for years.

Well, when I was preparing to take the MCAT, I gave myself two months of study time and scheduled in weekly FLs after the first month. I was scared of the FLs because I just never felt prepared enough content-wise(I was perfectionistic about my study, wanted to learn everything before I tackled practice questions). Eventually I caught myself procrastinating on taking FLs and made myself do it. I get what happened with mike, albeit his case is more severe.

Sometimes a struggling peer just really needs the benefit of our doubt, no matter how irrational their behavior seems.

 

[Angus Avagadro]

Sometimes it's easier to not try and fail, rather than try and fail. I tell pre meds that medicine, like football, is not for everyone. Lots of strong fast athletes are terrible football players or just hate it. It's no reflection on you. Only you can decide what's best for you. Lean on your support system and move on, one way or another. Good luck and best wishes!

 

[KnightDoc]

It may be hard for you to imagine him never pushing himself to take the practice test for years.

Well, when I was preparing to take the MCAT, I gave myself two months of study time and scheduled in weekly FLs after the first month. I was scared of the FLs because I just never felt prepared enough content-wise(I was perfectionistic about my study, wanted to learn everything before I tackled practice questions). Eventually I caught myself procrastinating on taking FLs and made myself do it. I get what happened with mike, albeit his case is more severe.

Sometimes a struggling peer just really needs the benefit of our doubt, no matter how irrational their behavior seems.

With all due respect, I wasn't calling out irrational behavior, I was calling out blatant BS. If you go look at the old posts I quoted, he not only took FLs, he actually sat for the MCAT, and had it scored, and claimed a 9 point drop from a FL to the real thing, on the old scale, which is probably impossible.

The scale now goes from 472 to 528, which is 56 points. The old scale went from 3 to 45, which is 42 points. Do the math - losing 9 points out of a possible 42 between practice and the real thing just isn't possible. He claimed to have received a 2 out of 15 on the verbal section, which just doesn't seem possible for a "4.0 biology premed" whose first language is English.

And then he came here, all these years later, and claimed to have never taken a practice test until he just took one, virtually cold, and scored a 500. You can absolutely believe whatever you want, but no, I wasn't questioning procrastinating on FLs. I was questioning everything.

Whatever else might be going on with OP, the story he told from 2014-16 does not correspond with the one he told yesterday. Yes, the timeline matches up, but nothing else does. He's afraid he's too old at 28? He was also afraid he was too old at 22, and did nothing to move forward in the intervening 6 years. He never took a practice test before December 2020? He was also traveling to Iowa to take the test in 2015. AND, he went back and deleted most of his old posts so nobody else can go back and see what I saw yesterday, including one where he admitted a series of posts were trolls posted "by someone who got access to his account." Draw your own conclusions.

 

[KnightDoc]

Oh look, this one wasn't even deleted yet!

Sorry guys, my friend was trolling on my account while I wasn't in the room. I am as nervous as ya'll are :/

 

[Dr.SPAC3MAN]

Imma agree with @KnightDoc on this one, account is def too fishy and story too unbelievable for me. good luck with your life mike

 

[Goro]

Hello Everyone, I am 28 yo . I am reaching out with the hope that I can get some insight or opinion, for I have failed to reach a conclusion on my own and I it has been taking an emotional toll on me.

I am in a critical situation. I have been premed since I was a freshman in college. I excelled in all my classes up until I was a junior. I had a 4.0 as a Biology Premed. Things went downhill from there, I started partying, getting into toxic relationships, etc. and the worst of all is that I wanted to take the MCAT back in 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, up until today 2021. I have put my life on hold for 8 years now trying to "study" and take the mcat. I turned down many job opportunities, internships, relationships, social evens, family events, advanced education opportunities, money opportunities, just to study for the mcat. Can you imagine, I have wasted 8 years of my life. my senior year took me 4 extra years to finish because I left school before earning my bachelors. I earned my bachelors with high honors eventually but after what? After I missed all the opportunities. I am full of regret and I am resentful. It was all my fault. I was stuck in a life where I was comparing myself to my peers, doubting myself, being a pessimist and day dreaming, spending time on my bed doing absolutely nothing, binging on youtube, wondering what if I didn't waste time, trying to figure what the hell has happened to me, why did I go from a 4.0 student to an absolute loser. I am full of regret. However, the story does not end there..

As of today, I am 28 yo, feeling old af, wondering what should I do with my life. I work part time and I still drive to coffee shops everyday with a backpack on my back where I sit down and "study" for the MCAT. yes, I have been trying to study for 8 years. At the same time, I don't even know if I want to get into medicine anymore. I was a young kid in my early twenties, full of energy and ambition, on the top of my class, with 1000 hours of volunteer work, vice president of a premed club, 4.0 GPA, research and shadowing experience, looking forward to the day I get into medical school. But today I do not have any drive whatsoever. I regret everyday, I have no drive or energy to be happy. Even if I take the MCAT now, I don't know if I want to sacrifice my 30s, get in $250k debt, handle the stress of med school and residency to become a physician at 38. I know age is just a number, but I think its important to be aware of the sacrifices that I have to make, especially with the past experiences that I have passed through. I am afraid history will repeat itself, I am afraid that I am not good enough and I want to start making money. I lost the confidence that I once had. I avoid my successful friends who all advanced in their careers while I am still carrying a backpack to study for a the MCAT. I took a random practice test back in December and I scored 500 (50%) percentile, but I haven't studied anything since then. What do you guys think my problem is and do you guys have any advice. I know my case is quite extreme. I always thought that I should not give up, but by doing so I wasted 8 years of my life. I still had some "fun" during these years, but nothing significant really.

On the other hand, I thought about something else earlier this year. I applied to a masters program in business analytics at a top 2 and a very prestigious school in my state. I got accepted because I had a good gpa and experience from my undergrad. This masters will allow me to get a job in business analytics/data science that pays $75-90k. I don't know how easy or hard it is to get a job in this field. I don't know anything about the field, so I have to learn about it and learn the basic skills if I want to start in the fall.

As of today, I am literally not doing anything with my life. I do not consider my part time job a job. It barely pays any money. Should I keep studying for the MCAT in the next couple of months? Should I find a full time job with my bachelors degree until August then start my masters in the fall? Should I keep trying to get into medicine. I am completely lost guys. I would accept any constructive criticism but please don't be too harsh because I know that I got myself here and I have to pay the price of being stupid.

I see a lot of self-sabotage and self-esteem issues in your story. Until you get into a good head-space, I can't recommend this pathway.

Perhaps talk to a therapist or your family doctor. This is NOT giving medical advice!

 

[Hzreio]

Wym that you turned down multiple opportunities since 2013? Why? Why did you take a gap in college? Is all you’ve been doing studying for the mcat and working a part time job for the last 8 years? How have you been supporting yourself?

 

[mike1234594]

Make an appointment with a psychologist this week and lay out everything. You need to address your underlying perfectionism and insecurities.
I went through a diluted version when I was younger (fear of failure/perfectionism), and it sucked. You are your worst enemy sometimes.
There's no leaderboard at the end of life and I can tell you that none of my friends give a **** what each other does. You don't need to be a physician or work at Google to find fulfillment in life.

My advice? Forget about the MCAT and use your coffeeshop time to look for psychologists.

With all due respect, I wasn't calling out irrational behavior, I was calling out blatant BS. If you go look at the old posts I quoted, he not only took FLs, he actually sat for the MCAT, and had it scored, and claimed a 9 point drop from a FL to the real thing, on the old scale, which is probably impossible.

The scale now goes from 472 to 528, which is 56 points. The old scales went from 3 to 45, which is 42 points. Do the math - losing 9 points out of a possible 42 between practice and the real thing just isn't possible. He claimed to have received a 2 out of 15 on the verbal section, which just doesn't seem possible for a "4.0 biology premed" whose first language is English.

And then he came here, all these years later, and claimed to have never taken a practice test until he just took one, virtually cold, and scored a 500. You can absolutely believe whatever you want, but no, I wasn't questioning procrastinating on FLs. I was questioning everything.

Whatever else might be going on with OP, the story he told from 2014-16 does not correspond with the one he told yesterday. Yes, the timeline matches up, but nothing else does. He's afraid he's too old at 28? He was also afraid he was too old at 22, and did nothing to move forward in the intervening 6 years. He never took a practice test before December 2020? He was also traveling to Iowa to take the test in 2015. AND, he went back and deleted most of his old posts so nobody else can go back and see what I saw yesterday, including one where he admitted a series of posts were trolls posted "by someone who got access to his account." Draw your own conclusions.

Hey, thank you for taking the time to do the research on my 8 year old account. I never took a practice test for the new MCAT. I took the old one when it was over 45, and yes I have had this mentality for so long. I did see my old posts when I reset my password. I appreciate everyone who read my post. Yes I did mention that I wanted to take the mcat in 2013 up until now. I wanted to go to Iowa in 2015, if I remember correctly it was the last test for the old mcat before it was changed to the new 2015 format. I understand that my story sounds very fishy, unfortunately it’s true. I did get paranoid that I might start getting made fun of on topic that is very sensitive to me. Im going to do the research on some psychologists in the area. I appreciate you taking the roll of the detective and taking the time to respond to my post. Like Goro said, I definitely have some issues that have not been addressed for years, maybe now is the time to talk to a therapist. Again, I appreciate everyone who took the time to read my post. I will try my best to keep you guys updated. I hope something good will come out of this.

 

[mike1234594]

Wym that you turned down multiple opportunities since 2013? Why? Why did you take a gap in college? Is all you’ve been doing studying for the mcat and working a part time job for the last 8 years? How have you been supporting yourself?

I haven’t been studying consistently since 2013. I think if I would have been able to take it if I didn’t have a negative self image and self doubt. I did travel around for a little bit. As for supporting myself, I know this will sound stupid, but my parents have money, which was fun while I was in college, but you definitely start feeling useless after a while, that you can’t be fully independent. I worked odd jobs, I traveled for a while and did some fun activities. I wasn’t always sitting trying to study, however, I always told myself “hey, you should be studying for the MCaT now”. I have so many people and made friendships in coffee shops instead of studying. It’s just crazy. I wasn’t sitting in a basement throughout the 8 years, but honestly the negative self image, the feeling that I have let myself down and let my dreams go was haunting me every single day. And when I try to get back up the idea that I’m old or that I will be old when I’m done kicks in. I know it sounds insane. I’m thankful that I posted on sdn. I apologize if I triggered anyone.

 

[mike1234594]

With all due respect, I wasn't calling out irrational behavior, I was calling out blatant BS. If you go look at the old posts I quoted, he not only took FLs, he actually sat for the MCAT, and had it scored, and claimed a 9 point drop from a FL to the real thing, on the old scale, which is probably impossible.

The scale now goes from 472 to 528, which is 56 points. The old scale went from 3 to 45, which is 42 points. Do the math - losing 9 points out of a possible 42 between practice and the real thing just isn't possible. He claimed to have received a 2 out of 15 on the verbal section, which just doesn't seem possible for a "4.0 biology premed" whose first language is English.

And then he came here, all these years later, and claimed to have never taken a practice test until he just took one, virtually cold, and scored a 500. You can absolutely believe whatever you want, but no, I wasn't questioning procrastinating on FLs. I was questioning everything.

Whatever else might be going on with OP, the story he told from 2014-16 does not correspond with the one he told yesterday. Yes, the timeline matches up, but nothing else does. He's afraid he's too old at 28? He was also afraid he was too old at 22, and did nothing to move forward in the intervening 6 years. He never took a practice test before December 2020? He was also traveling to Iowa to take the test in 2015. AND, he went back and deleted most of his old posts so nobody else can go back and see what I saw yesterday, including one where he admitted a series of posts were trolls posted "by someone who got access to his account." Draw your own conclusions.

As for the old mcat score, yes I scored poorly on it. Very poorly. That was the turning point in my life honestly, i never expected I would get such a score, even though my Prep wasnt right. I started partying a lot during that phase and my academic performance suffered. And I didn’t say I scored a 500 with absolutely no studying at all. I go to coffee shops, I open the notes, I do very minimal studying that I do not consider significant. The last time I studied for 6 weeks straight was back in 2019 I guess. I kept “studying” after that time, but it was nothing significant unfortunately. I tried to keep convincing myself that the next time will be different, yet nothing has changed. I hope that clears things up.

 

[Damson]

With all due respect, I wasn't calling out irrational behavior, I was calling out blatant BS. If you go look at the old posts I quoted, he not only took FLs, he actually sat for the MCAT, and had it scored, and claimed a 9 point drop from a FL to the real thing, on the old scale, which is probably impossible.

The scale now goes from 472 to 528, which is 56 points. The old scale went from 3 to 45, which is 42 points. Do the math - losing 9 points out of a possible 42 between practice and the real thing just isn't possible. He claimed to have received a 2 out of 15 on the verbal section, which just doesn't seem possible for a "4.0 biology premed" whose first language is English.

And then he came here, all these years later, and claimed to have never taken a practice test until he just took one, virtually cold, and scored a 500. You can absolutely believe whatever you want, but no, I wasn't questioning procrastinating on FLs. I was questioning everything.

Whatever else might be going on with OP, the story he told from 2014-16 does not correspond with the one he told yesterday. Yes, the timeline matches up, but nothing else does. He's afraid he's too old at 28? He was also afraid he was too old at 22, and did nothing to move forward in the intervening 6 years. He never took a practice test before December 2020? He was also traveling to Iowa to take the test in 2015. AND, he went back and deleted most of his old posts so nobody else can go back and see what I saw yesterday, including one where he admitted a series of posts were trolls posted "by someone who got access to his account." Draw your own conclusions.

I see. Maybe his posts don't add up. Maybe his anxieties are getting him to delete posts, make new accounts, and throw in false factoids here and there about himself so that he feels people are less likely to make fun of him. But altogether it just reads like someone who really needs a positive boost.

Sound advice has already been offered though, therapy for depression/anxiety(possibly OCD) + look into different career paths. You're still young @mike1234594. As long as you become stable, happy, and self-sufficient within a few years, that's all that matters.

 

[mike1234594]

I see. Maybe his posts don't add up. Maybe his anxieties are getting him to delete posts, make new accounts, and throw in false factoids here and there about himself so that he feels people are less likely to make fun of him. But altogether it just reads like someone who really needs a positive boost.

Sound advice has already been offered though, therapy for depression/anxiety(possibly OCD) + look into different career paths. You're still young @mike1234594. As long as you become stable, happy, and self-sufficient within a few years, that's all that matters.

Thank you so much for understanding with all honesty I wasn’t trying to troll anyone, my brain is too clustered with negative thinking and anxiety for me come to sdn as a troll. And yes, I do fear getting made fun off. I avoided many of friends and family for years, I lied about what I was doing because I was afraid I will be judged. I kept reminiscing the first 3 years in college where I was a top student, yet I wasn’t able to get a clear head space to find a solution. Thank you for understanding. I’m looking for therapists now

 

[Hzreio]

I haven’t been studying consistently since 2013. I think if I would have been able to take it if I didn’t have a negative self image and self doubt. I did travel around for a little bit. As for supporting myself, I know this will sound stupid, but my parents have money, which was fun while I was in college, but you definitely start feeling useless after a while, that you can’t be fully independent. I worked odd jobs, I traveled for a while and did some fun activities. I wasn’t always sitting trying to study, however, I always told myself “hey, you should be studying for the MCaT now”. I have so many people and made friendships in coffee shops instead of studying. It’s just crazy. I wasn’t sitting in a basement throughout the 8 years, but honestly the negative self image, the feeling that I have let myself down and let my dreams go was haunting me every single day. And when I try to get back up the idea that I’m old or that I will be old when I’m done kicks in. I know it sounds insane. I’m thankful that I posted on sdn. I apologize if I triggered anyone.

Ok well you made the decisions with what you wanted to do with your twenties and that’s something you’ll have to do again for the next decade.

What were you expecting with year after year of not doing much tangible toward your goals? That you’d just magically be in a position to succeed right now?

If what you’re doing now makes you happy then more power to you. But if you’re gonna do more or less then same stuff now in the future, don’t expect 2028 to feel any different than right now.

 

[mike1234594]

Ok well you made the decisions with what you wanted to do with your twenties and that’s something you’ll have to do again for the next decade.

What were you expecting with year after year of not doing much tangible toward your goals? That you’d just magically be in a position to succeed right now?

If what you’re doing now makes you happy then more power to you. But if you’re gonna do more or less then same stuff now in the future, don’t expect 2028 to feel any different than right now.

You are absolutely right. I have made these incremental decisions and I am paying the price. No one owes me anything and I had every single opportunity to change my situation, but I kept day dreaming and hoping that my life will change in the next attempt. I hope I won't come back in 2028 with the same issue. I am aware of my f ups and that my life today is a result of my decisions in the past 8 years. I want to change.

 

[gyngyn]

I think OP has enough to chew on now. Thanks everyone.