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I wish I had done things differently...
- Thread starter connie95
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Why did you transfer to your other school in the first place? Reminding yourself why might give some insight into solving the issue, because from the looks of it, I don't think financials is the reason, lol.
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Can't speak to how it would affect your med school chances, but I imagine it would be a neutral or negative (either they won't care, or they'll see it as an inability to adapt - if you were unable to adjust and/or make up your mind as an undergrad, how can they be certain you won't face similar issues entering medicine).
If it were me, I'd stay at my state school and change the way I approach issues. Go back to basic and pretend you're a freshman again (aka join new clubs, search for new mentors both within and outside of your university, etc). It saves you money, potentially helps with medical school, and chances are that with a renewed approach you might find happiness as well. Often times we are just one refinement away from enjoying our current situation - the issue is finding what that adjustment is and making it.
Hope you're able to rekindle that flame of passion soon.
If it were me, I'd stay at my state school and change the way I approach issues. Go back to basic and pretend you're a freshman again (aka join new clubs, search for new mentors both within and outside of your university, etc). It saves you money, potentially helps with medical school, and chances are that with a renewed approach you might find happiness as well. Often times we are just one refinement away from enjoying our current situation - the issue is finding what that adjustment is and making it.
Hope you're able to rekindle that flame of passion soon.
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I think this is the crux of your problem. You need to get excited again! Honestly, I felt something similar during my last year of college - I got super unmotivated because I was completely disenchanted with higher learning etc by that point. Here is an off-beat idea: take a year off.
Seriously, the primary reason I am as ready to go to medical school as I am at this point is because I have been out of school and have had a chance to reconnect with my reasons for wanting to go into medicine. I think you should finish the year strong, get A's and power through for one more semester. Once you are in a great place where it doesn't look as though you are taking time off because you are failing to do well academically, take a year (or two!) off. You can start looking for internships, or maybe a lab position, or - if your parents are cool with letting you crash - find some killer service positions. Do a bunch of shadowing, find a hobby. Basically do all those things that make you a more well rounded and mature person. Do all the things we recommend to students who are considering taking time off.
You will very quickly come to miss the excitement of learning new things and getting on with your education (at least I did). Then, you can finish off junior year, apply summer before your senior year, and go into medical school straight out of college with the added benefit that usually comes from taking time off after graduation. You application will be stronger, you will get a mental break for a little while, and you will hopefully rekindle your enthusiasm for learning.
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Depression is not an illness that can be treated on an anonymous message forum. Get to your school's counseling center right now.
Let's put it another way: if you had blood in your urine, would you go see your doctor? Depression is as real an illness as whatever causes hematuria. Go get help NOW.
Let's put it another way: if you had blood in your urine, would you go see your doctor? Depression is as real an illness as whatever causes hematuria. Go get help NOW.
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I agree with Goro. You need to talk to people in your school counseling center as well as academic advisors. They should be able to help you through all of this. Anxiety during college is pretty normal apparently. You're in a new environment, doing everything by yourself, away from your friends and family. Suddenly, college starts and students feel very pressured and have a hard time adjusting to it. Many of my friends did, and they had to deal with lots of inner demons from college.
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Agree with this. Feeling like that for half a year is something you need a physician to check out. Withdraw from school until this is under control. Good luck!
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I can't imagine transferring once would affect you at all.
However, as others have suggested (and at the risk of feeding medicalization), if you are truly as unhappy as you suggest in your first post, don't worry what medical schools will think and speak to a professional rather than bumbling students like myself
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Also, I'm not sure going back to the old school again will help wrinkle out your problems. There seems to be some other personal issues that you are facing that are somewhat unrelated to the school you're in. What happens if you go back and you get anxiety ridden again because you are away from your family again?
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It's really normal to feel like this, especially after you transfer. I transferred from an Ivy to a state school closer to home more than two years ago, and even now I sometimes wonder what things would have been like if I'd stuck it out, and what you're describing now sounds VERY familiar, not just to me but to a lot of my friends who have transferred to my school. Even if you transfer to a better school, you're going to have days that suck. You're going to have days where you feel like you made the wrong decision. You're going to have days where you're so stressed out, where you're doubting yourself, or where you want to give up. But that doesn't mean you made the wrong choice, and that doesn't mean you're a bad student/person/whatever. At this point, its' important to remind yourself why you transferred, and pride yourself on whatever progress you've made, even if it seems like you haven't accomplished anything. And I highly recommend that you talk to your school counselor, or see if your campus has a support group for transfer students (mine did, and it was VERY helpful). You've only been at your school for one semester, and it might take longer than that for you to get your bearings. Be patient with yourself and just take it one day at a time.
As far as reaching out and making friends, unfortunately it will probably be more difficult, but if you push yourself to get out there and meet new people, you'll find friends Once finals are over, check out what clubs are available on your campus and see if you can get involved in the Spring. Since you didn't have the luxury of living in the dorms as a freshman (when a lot of people make friends) it will be harder to reach out, and it will seem like everyone already has their "group" formed, but most people I know are always open to making new friends.
If you want to talk about this more, please feel free to PM me!
As far as reaching out and making friends, unfortunately it will probably be more difficult, but if you push yourself to get out there and meet new people, you'll find friends
Once finals are over, check out what clubs are available on your campus and see if you can get involved in the Spring. Since you didn't have the luxury of living in the dorms as a freshman (when a lot of people make friends) it will be harder to reach out, and it will seem like everyone already has their "group" formed, but most people I know are always open to making new friends. If you want to talk about this more, please feel free to PM me!
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Adaptability is a core competency. Address your demons. There is no shame in getting professional help.
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I'm glad you sought out counselors at your school. The first (and often, hardest) step is to acknowledge you have a problem and need professional help. I was in a very similar situation. For me, it felt like my world had been turned upside down and I was frantically scrambling to gather up the pieces of my life together. Only after years of dragging out my suffering did I realize I had to withdraw from school to address my medical condition.
Everyone has their own inner demons. I know it may seem hopeless right now, but things do get better. You just have to find a good support system, believe in yourself, and power through it like a champ. And, if that means taking time off so you can regain a sense of clarity, then do it. Maybe you can take a semester off to figure things out? I really wish someone had told me earlier to put aside my pride and find the strength to do this.
Feel free to PM me as well if you need someone to talk to.
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There are a lot of things we all wish we had done differently in life....but you can't change the past...so try your best not to dwell on it, or in the future, you will have the time you waste regretting it and feeling miserable to add to your list of regrets.
It's easy for me to say since i'm not in your situation but here's a clip I use to inspire myself when the going gets a bit rough.
You can get over this and you will...just see yourself succeeding at your current college....find some activities and clubs...those are good ways to meet people and feel more like you belong.
It's easy for me to say since i'm not in your situation but here's a clip I use to inspire myself when the going gets a bit rough.
You can get over this and you will...just see yourself succeeding at your current college....find some activities and clubs...those are good ways to meet people and feel more like you belong.
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Thank you so much. Another thing I wanted to share is that my crush is at College #1. I know this is really stupid and all but I like him so much that I am willing to pay all this money and do whatever I can to be near him. But obviously this is naive thinking considering I don't even know my crush very well or if he even likes me back.
So yeah...I actually feel like my world has turned upside down as well. I'm going through (what I bet) has got to be one o the worst feelings in the world. It's a mixture of unbearable longing, sadness, anger, jealously and disappointment at myself for making SUCH a unbelievably stupid decision. It's hard to believe that things will ever get better
Can anyone please give me some advice on this part of the issue? I would really like to stop crying every day.
My philosophy is, if you find yourself absolutely yearning to be in a relationship, then you're not ready for one at all. There are certainly exceptions, but this is my general rule of thumb when I feel my emotions are clouding my judgement. You're in a vulnerable position, and it's natural to want someone to be there for you. Who doesn't want a shoulder to cry on, or someone to reassure you that things will be okay? Relationships are always wonderful when they work out, but heartbreak can completely floor a person. It's not something you want to deal with at the moment.
Plain and simple: you need to focus on yourself before adding another person to the equation. Remember, "the night is darkest just before the dawn."
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Hang in there man... It's not uncommon to feel the way you are feeling. Do you want to start turning your game up and your life around for next semester? Like others have said, go seek help from a counselor. No shame! This will be the fastest way nip that lack of motivation in the bud!
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I would....I think part of the reason you're also unhappy at college 2 is because you haven't mentally transferred. Deep down you still feel like you can go back to college 1 and so you keep thinking about what could have been had you stayed - the thing is you didn't and college 2 is your current reality.
Tell yourself that college 1 is in the past and you now need to focus on college 2. I think you should stay at 2...I think it is very possible you could go back to college 1 and be even more unhappy (and without the support of your family), because things aren't the way you thought they would be. It's time to commit to college 2 - I think that there is a lot of truth to what your parents are saying.
You can stay at college 2 and be very successful (and in less debt)...just try to get involved and think about the advantages of being at college 2 (close to family, cheaper etc). When you give college 2 a chance, you might be surprised about how many things you'll enjoy. You can do this !!!!!
When the going gets rough, just remind yourself.. There are no regrets, only past experiences and lessons learned....don't beat yourself up about what you should or should not have done, just move on and count it as a lesson learned and a past experience.
All is not lost, you are sophomore based on what i can tell and still have more than half of college left...so go back into spring semester and give it your best shot.
We are rooting for ya!!!!!!...almost every pre-med has had some doubts, regrets, or bump in the road at one point in time or another but it will all work out one way or another
Tell yourself that college 1 is in the past and you now need to focus on college 2. I think you should stay at 2...I think it is very possible you could go back to college 1 and be even more unhappy (and without the support of your family), because things aren't the way you thought they would be. It's time to commit to college 2 - I think that there is a lot of truth to what your parents are saying.
You can stay at college 2 and be very successful (and in less debt)...just try to get involved and think about the advantages of being at college 2 (close to family, cheaper etc). When you give college 2 a chance, you might be surprised about how many things you'll enjoy. You can do this !!!!!
When the going gets rough, just remind yourself.. There are no regrets, only past experiences and lessons learned....don't beat yourself up about what you should or should not have done, just move on and count it as a lesson learned and a past experience.
All is not lost, you are sophomore based on what i can tell and still have more than half of college left...so go back into spring semester and give it your best shot.
We are rooting for ya!!!!!!...almost every pre-med has had some doubts, regrets, or bump in the road at one point in time or another but it will all work out one way or another
