If there is one thing you can do for your children.....

[Spinach Dip]

....Don't set them up for failure.

So I was at a job interview a little while ago, for a position I am massively over-qualified for, and which pays a fantastic $1 above minimum wage. (Think: shift manager at Denny's.) After the standard questions (where do you see yourself in 5 years, what's your greatest weakness, etc), the following little snippet takes place:

Him: "Let me just pull out your financial report." (starts shuffling through papers)
Me: Thinking *is that allowed? Oh, it was probably in the 20-page criminal background check monstrosity I signed*
Him: "Ah, here it is. Tell me, why did you declare bankruptcy in your 20's?"
Me: "What? I never did that."
Him: "Really? So what happened in the year 200x?"
Me: "That was the year my father left."
Him: "Did he declare bankruptcy?"
Me: "Yes."
Him: "And were you joint on any of his debts?"
Me: "Yes, but I didn't benefit from any of it! In fact, my mother and I had to pay thousands on his bills while he drove to the beach and disappeared."
Him: "Sorry, that's not on the report." *cheeky grin*
Me: Thinking *Well, that explains why I can't get a credit card or anything else to fund my applications*



So, to all you parents and prospective parents out there, please, PLEASE don't f@#k your kids over because some young brunette makes you hard.

This has been a public service announcement.

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[Lawpy]

Welcome back, Spinach Dip.

 

[Catalystik]

This has been a public service announcement.

A similar related phenomenon I've seen is a parent unbeknownst taking out loans using their adult child's social security number, essentially pretending to be that person, and then leaving the child to bear the negative effect on credit worthiness.

Check your credit reports, guys.

 

[breezy16]

A similar related phenomenon I've seen is a parent unbeknownst taking out loans using their adult child's social security number, essentially pretending to be that person, and then leaving the child to bear the negative effect on credit worthiness.

Check your credit reports, guys.

^^^^^
Don't trust anyone and always be knowledgeable of yourself. My credit cards give me my FICO score monthly so if I ever see a appreciable drop for no reason (that I know behind it) I look into my credit.

 

[Spinach Dip]

Welcome back, Spinach Dip.

Did ya miss me?

 

[CaliforniaDreamer]

A similar related phenomenon I've seen is a parent unbeknownst taking out loans using their adult child's social security number, essentially pretending to be that person, and then leaving the child to bear the negative effect on credit worthiness.

Check your credit reports, guys.

This happened with a relative of mine and her mother. The mother had maxed out multiple credit cards under her teenage daughter's SS, and she only discovered that her credit was tanked when she went to apply for a home loan years later. The trickiest part was that in order to contest the claims she was told she would have to press for criminal charges against her mother, which she did not want to do.

 

[Spinach Dip]

This happened with a relative of mine and her mother. The mother had maxed out multiple credit cards under her teenage daughter's SS, and she only discovered that her credit was tanked when she went to apply for a home loan years later. The trickiest part was that in order to contest the claims she was told she would have to press for criminal charges against her mother, which she did not want to do.

It's ridiculous what some people think they can get away with.



On the other hand, if one were to find themselves in this position, and a couple months to reasonably apply to med schools before their MCAT expires, what options would they have to pay for their application fees/travel/etc?

 

[CaliforniaDreamer]

It's ridiculous what some people think they can get away with.



On the other hand, if one were to find themselves in this position, and a couple months to reasonably apply to med schools before their MCAT expires, what options would they have to pay for their application fees/travel/etc?

You could ask the mafia for a loan, but you better get accepted that cycle.

 

[chibaddie]

So, to all you parents and prospective parents out there, please, PLEASE don't f@#k your kids over because some young brunette makes you hard.

This has been a public service announcement.

Lol, I like you. Keepin' it real.

 

[Cyberdyne 101]

Spinach, I have parents who can write the book on negligence, so I can certainly relate to your frustration. But ultimately, you have to deal with the cards you've been dealt, even if it means retaking a 40 mcat.

 

[WalSlave]

Bankruptcy does not affect your credit forever. The longest it can stay on your credit report is 10 years, I believe, and maybe lower depending on whether your father filed Chapter 7 or Chapter 13. Also I highly recommend you pull your credit report. You mention that this happened "in your 20s", so I assume you're in your 30s at least? You should have been pulling credit reports on yourself from all three bureaus since the age of ~18.

I have followed your posts and I do empathize. My parents divorced when I was very young and my last memory of my father is him no-showing on a Christmas eve visit, never to be seen again. I was subsequently raised in a single parent household headed by a mentally ill + abusive mother who never managed to make over $16,000 per year while raising me and my sister. I could play the sob story game all day long with you but I have no desire to do so. Here is the cold hard truth about people like us: yes, we grew up abused and victimized by crappy circumstances, poverty, and horrible adult role models, but once I hit adulthood I realized I had a choice. I could either shed my victim skin and seize control over my future by taking responsibility for myself, or I could continue the cycle and graduate from victim to abuser/victimizer. It seems that you have chosen to continue the cycle and keep yourself in a constant state of victimhood. By continuing to make the same self-imploding decisions year after year you are DENYING yourself the success and happiness that we all know you are capable of achieving. You are a grown man (woman?) and it's time to take control of your finances, stop blaming your troubles on family members, and jesus god GET A JOB. I know for a fact you can literally walk into McDonalds right now and they will give you an interview on the spot if you come in at a reasonable hour. You could have a job by Monday if you really wanted it enough. You need to wake up and start hustling that money. There are SO many jobs to be had on the internet alone. When I was applying while finishing up my Masters program, I was also doing online tutoring, data entry, transcription work, and I was even flipping stuff on eBay/Amazon that I found at GoodWill. I also hunted down a weekend gig through a connection at school (which you should absolutely have if you did even kind of well in your MS program). I hustled hard with these things so I could make it through.

Nobody owes you a thing regardless of your upbringing or MCAT score or whatever. You have to make this happen for yourself, and you SHOULD make this happen because I truly believe you could be a hell of a doctor if you quit the sob story crap for 5 seconds. Put half as much energy into learning how to be a functioning adult as you did into getting that 40 MCAT score and you will be a fine physician.

 

[swolesoul]

A similar related phenomenon I've seen is a parent unbeknownst taking out loans using their adult child's social security number, essentially pretending to be that person, and then leaving the child to bear the negative effect on credit worthiness.

Check your credit reports, guys.

My mother in law was taking out max student loans in my wife's name when she was in college. My wife would just ask her for money when she needed it. I later found out my wife had 30k student loans (which surprised me because she was working, getting grants, and we go to one of the cheapest universities in the country, shouldve been no more than 5k) Her mother also had a couple credit cards in my wife's name she was maxing out every month. I immediately cut all financial ties when we got married. Now we are stuck with this giant debt. Luckily my parents were able to help with app fees and such. I will never under any circumstances lend them money once I have established my career and I guarantee they will ask eventually.

 

[moisne]

How on earth can your father declare bankruptcy and have it fall on you head? I get spouses and stuff gets messy - but my mother couldn't access my bank account without my signature, pick up mail, set up any appointments.

Ps. I think you qualify for Medicaid - should go look into it.

 

[Crayola227]

How on earth can your father declare bankruptcy and have it fall on you head? I get spouses and stuff gets messy - but my mother couldn't access my bank account without my signature, pick up mail, set up any appointments.

Ps. I think you qualify for Medicaid - should go look into it.

your parents know your SSN and all other personal demographic info so they can just apply for things in your name
yet another reason to be careful with giving out your SSN, although in the case of parents you can't really help it
luckily most parents don't decide to **** over their kids financially

 

[redferrari]

Seriously. My dad f***ed my credit by putting me on a loan (without my knowledge) that he defaulted on. Not a day goes by that I don't remind him of it.

 

[The Knife & Gun Club]

Dude I feel like you've had such an undeserved string of bad luck lately I'm so sorry. Hopefully things turn around or at least the building with all the bank records mysteriously burns down



Since we're swapping financial horror stories, my step-dads mom convinced him to cosign a mortgage with her for a condo in Florida in 2007, because "she'd get a better rate since he has income and a better credit history". Long story short she actually needed his cosign since she'd recently blown her entire retirement fund buying hundreds of scratch off tickets a day, so he was stuck either paying the mortgage or having his credit wrecked. Oh and within a year it was thousands of dollars underwater thanks to the housing bubble so he couldn't sell it.

 

[moisne]

Just because they tag you on a loan - doesn't mean you should be accountable. Can you not appeal it and be like "dude this is like identity theft - I never signed it or anything."

 

[WhittyPsyche]

Just because they tag you on a loan - doesn't mean you should be accountable. Can you not appeal it and be like "dude this is like identity theft - I never signed it or anything."

Nope. Most you can do is file criminal charges, but it's hard to prove you were unaware or ignorant in a situation like this. Hence most people just pay it.


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