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I'm becoming an arrogant jerk already!

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - MD' started by Jaider, Dec 10, 2005.

  1. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member
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    Not a doctor yet, but just realized I might be turning into an arrogant jerk...

    Do you think most professionals develop a certain sense of superiority? I don't think I'm superior to the next guy, but certain situations bring out a little bit of that in me. I think it's because of the hard work and sacrifice that we (pre-professionals/professionals) put into our careers. Maybe sometimes it makes me resent others. For example, in this situation:

    Just got a pedicure. Handed the lady my credit card.

    Foot lady: "How much for tip?"
    Me: "Wha...? Um... yes... of course... you can add a tip in." **

    ** This was the first time in my life that anyone has ever ASKED me for a tip. Her rudeness completely caught me off guard. I ALWAYS tip generously, but there are social rules for this! You hand me the sales slip, I write in the tip quietly and privately, hand it to you and you smile.

    Foot lady: "How much?"
    Me: "Oh, well... um... I dunno... ten dollars?"

    ** Dude, you need to tell me the pre-total and give me a second to do the math! You can't catch me off guard with your rudeness!

    Foot lady: "Only ten dollar? For tip?"


    This was at a tacky strip mall place, people, not some snooty high-end spa. I found myself thinking: if you want $50 bucks to paint my feet, charge me that much! Don't b*tch about my tip! You want money? Get a REAL job!!

    Ooooh, I'm so mad! I'll NEVER go there again.
     
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  3. medhacker

    medhacker We can end world poverty!
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    [​IMG]
     
  4. DrBowtie

    DrBowtie Final Countdown
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    That situation was whack.
     
  5. bolnoi

    bolnoi Membership Revoked
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    i dont thikn most doctors or professors(unless they are female) get pedicures. And if you ask about general superiority complexes, i dont think most of them have it, but certainly some do. There are always people that are more important than you, you can be a chair of the dept but you are obviously humbled by those that have a Noble. The difference is that some are just happy being chairs of their depts, while others think they need to diss ugrad students and act like they're the most important person in the dept. at the same time, such people would suck balls to stand next to a Noble winner or a CEO, because they're obviously less accomplished.
     
  6. Pretty POHA

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    Some places have to run the tip amount through the same time they run the card. One really common place they do this at is Denny's. (I'm guessing there's Denny's everywhere, so you'll know what I'm talking about)
    They have you fill in the tip amount before they run your card.

    And as far as the tip amount goes-- was there a possibility that you're misunderstanding this person? I mean, culturally speaking, I know that there may be a language barrier between myself and the gal doing my pedicure/manicure... so I really wouldn't take it personally. Smile and say, yes, ten dollars. Thank you!

    Don't get all pompous over yourself or anyone else-- we're all just working to make a pay check... yes, as a doctor, hopefully you're doing something more along the lines of what you enjoy-- but just because you'll end up making more per year than other "lowly" positions does not mean that their job is any less fulfilling than yours.
     
  7. If someone asked me for a tip, I would be mad. If someone criticized the amount I gave, I wouldn't give a tip.
     
  8. DNAroolez

    DNAroolez Alpha Helix
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    Don't be so hard on yourself! Yeah we do put a lot of work in, and I certainly resent those students who were able to coast by in college without labs and all night anatomy studying. Some of my frends go out every night, and they are just satisfied with a passing grade. I found myself getting defensive the other day when a friend decided he would determine who was the smartest person in our group. So he said "I think Suzie is the smartest person in our group for sure!" I almost blurted out- I have a higher GPA and MCAT score than Suzie! But I stopped myself and said nothing. I think more than anything I have become kind of cynical in some situations because of the whole pre-med experience. Just keep reminding yourself that you have a lot to be proud of yourself for, but you are still just plain old you at the end of the day.
     
  9. Camillekc

    Camillekc Senior Member
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    Because most doctors and professors are male, right?
     
  10. bootz

    bootz Senior Member
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    I hate it when they ask what you are going to tip before you have had the chance to think about it. I know that if you don't add the tip-in at point of sale, then they have to enter it in later on, but come on, why would you give a customer a negative impression of the entire interaction just because you don't want to enter in the tip later on. This lady was way off the mark.

    I ususally say that I'll tip cash when paying with a credit card. Not only does this avoid the type interaction that you had here, but it also makes it easier for them to not report the tip to the IRS. This makes a big difference in the long run when most of your income is tip-based.

    As for your point of view, I don't think you are becoming an arrogant jerk, I just think that your misunderstanding of the whole situation has caused you to say somethings that might not be fair to the lady working there. Just think about how this situation applies to your interest in medicine. This type of crosstalk happens all of the time in the medical setting and it is important to recognize it when it happens in order to do the best for your patients.

    I agree, though, if you feel bad about the place, don't go back...
     
  11. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member
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    Valid point. But I think you have to work hard and be compensated for the value of your work. On the one hand, all this lady did was paint my toenails. She wants $50 for this? Most importantly, if she does want $50, she should charge that much in the first place and then it's my decision whether or not I'm going to accept the service for that price. It's also my decision whether or not to tip her. She was entirely rude (trust me-- there was no communication barrier.)

    My point was to recognize that I'm not superior, but that perhaps the nature and demands of my work might start to affect my behavior and perception of others. For example, I had an extremely taxing week doing clinical stuff, and then I get attitude from a carefree (relatively speaking, by my perception) lady who simply has to brush polish on my nails. I'm not making any assumptions on the value of her work, or whether or not she finds it fulfilling. I'm simply saying that I perceive the demands of MY work as being much higher, and perhaps that makes me grumpy/ is turning me into an arrogant jerk. On a similar note, don't you ever get ticked when you're stuck inside studying like mad and you perceive that everyone around you is skipping around carefree? I enjoy studying, it's my decision, I recognize that it's not for everyone, that everyone has their place in society and their priorities, but sometimes it just gets to ya. Misery loves company.

    Does that make sense? :)

    P.S. I don't consider anyone "lowly." I come from a "lowly" family myself. :thumbup: ;)
     
  12. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member
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    Totally. Trust me, I'm the biggest pushover and I'm never rude. I would have doubled the tip, but I was too shocked to speak. As a consequence, hours later, I'm venting on a pre-medical internet forum... :laugh:

    She made me feel so bad that I'm thinking about removing the polish because of bad memories!
     
  13. rush2

    rush2 SDN Donor
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    don't feel bad, you're not arrogant. if it happened the way you're reporting it.... foot lady was pretty obnoxious. (and maybe i'm cheap, but i think that $10 is a fine tip for a $50 service).
     
  14. argonana

    argonana SDN Donor
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    :laugh:
     
  15. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member
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    Hey, males can get pedicures too. Pink toenails look great on everyone. :thumbup:
     
  16. dynx

    dynx Yankee Imperialist
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    If you were truely arrogant you would not even have noticed her rudeness and you certainly wouldnt still be spending your valuable time thinking about this peasant.
     
  17. BradenDO

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    LOL You guys make me feel so cheap! I only give about $2 tips for services like that...haircuts/massages/pedicures. Of course I only work 15hrs a week, but $10 seems crazy--although very nice of you--for a pedicure. :p
     
  18. Nikki2002

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    I would have told her to shove it....i'll paint my own damn toenails.
     
  19. AWhitehair

    AWhitehair EM PA-C. MD wannabe
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  20. DrRads101

    DrRads101 Senior Member
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    There's not much room for arrogance for the next 10 years of your life or longer... when you start medical school and realize that everyone around you is as smart or smarter than you, everyone is much farther along than you that you work under and is constantly evaluating you, and you come to the other realization that you are going to be working your ASS off to make diddly squat for the next decade or even longer.
     
  21. freshity

    freshity Senior Member
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    i think you are arrogant because of the way you make assumptions about how difficult her week may have been. you don't know her. you have no idea how hard her work is, nor how hard her life is outside of work. and if you aren't willing to entertain that she may have had as hard a week as you (aside from just brushing polich on toes, as you put it), than you have absolutely no business introducing the argument that you had a hard week doing clinical stuff.

    your logic is flawed. THAT'S why you can't get this out of your mind. you're trying to build an argument for why the tipping thing was wrong based on these messed up assumptions you have about things outside of the situation--like, how you had a hard week, and how you perceive her work to be carefree. get over yourself. it's not about how hard your week was...or your status as someone who is on the road towards being a physician. you're not entitled to a pedicure because you're a premed that had a hard week. you're entitled to a pedicure because you pay for it. she's entitled to a tip when the service is good. that's the conventional thought. you already know this.

    the reason the situation was messed up was because she told you how much you were going to tip her, and then you let her. my advice would be to not let that happen to yourself again.
     
  22. Gentle

    Gentle Senior Member
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    ctwickman, I think that's sooooooooooooooooo true.
     
  23. FictionalGirl

    FictionalGirl Senior Member
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    I was totally thinking "wow! of COURE YOU"RE NOT ARROGANT!!!" 10 bucks is NICE tip for a strip mall joint. BUT THEN YOU SAY THINGS LIKE "SHE SHOULD GO GET A REAL JOB" and I just want to smack you around a little. Not everyone is going to be a doctor. Unless you're practicing right now, you don't even know for sure you're going to be in one. She had a real job and was trying to make a living. Yes, she was rude, but she had a real job. Not all real jobs pay much. How about learning a little humility? Save the commentary for when you're super rich. Do you have a college job right now? Is it a REAL job? if it's not, shhhhhhh.




     
  24. PRmed

    PRmed 22
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    I don't think this is a matter of a "I'm gonna be a doctor" superiority-complex; just really bad customer service. I think anyone could have acted so given that situation.
     
  25. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member
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    Whoa whoa whoa... I must have done a poor job expressing myself, or else you're simply misunderstanding me. So I'll try to be more direct this time. (Why is it important for me to be understood? It's human nature, or at least mine...)

    1. The lady was a b*tch, plain and simple. It wasn't a communication issue, it was an example of horrendous customer service. She asked for a tip outright and caught me off guard (the credit card slip DID have an amount for me to fill in). I cited an amount. She balked at that amount and made me feel like a cheap jerk, even though my offer was quite reasonable. I was not rude to her in return, I said nothing.

    2. I'm NOT making an argument about me deserving good service because I had a hard work week, and I'm not making assumptions about whether or not HER week was hard. Regardless of how hard her week might have been, she should never treat a customer that way. And no matter how hard MY week was, I have no right to be a jerk to her. I didn't. I don't pick fights, it's not in my nature.

    3. The situation irked me for two reasons: 1) horrible customer service 2) greed and the payment system in general. Just as you said (and just as I said in an earlier post), there is an advertised set cost for a service and an optional tip. People always expect a tip because it's the convention, but theoretically it's supposed to be based on good service. The nail lady provided good service, and I was intending to tip her. I did tip her reasonably, and she treated me like garbage and suggested I should have given her more. She EXPECTED me to have given her more. My argument is, that if she had a price in her mind that she wanted to receive for the service (say, $50) she should CHARGE that amount, and then be grateful if someone tips her extra. But to only charge $30, say, and act like an a$$hole if your customer doesn't tip you $20 is completely asinine.

    Let's say I become a doctor (and tipping the doctor is the convention) and I advertise that I will perform a routine physical for $100. The patient agrees to pay this price, I provide the service, and at the end of the treatment I rudely say: "How much are you going to tip me?" The customer is pleased with the service and replies: $20. I balk at him and say: "Only $20? You cheap ****." This is acceptable?? No, of course not. I think she behaved greedily, and my MENTAL comment "Get a REAL job" was aimed at this idea: if someone wants to make big bucks, get a job that pays big bucks! Don't simply screw people over. People tend to overvalue their contributions; they think that they DESERVE something even if in reality they didn't put in the necessary work. The NAIL LADY is arrogant.

    4. Okay, so I think the whole pedicure situation is clear enough-- I've beat it into the ground. :) She was a jerk, right? So, bringing this asinine example around to my primary point of the original post (in other words, trying to make today's frustration a valid topic for a pre-medical forum)...

    5. My point in bringing up the arrogance bit and the fact that I had a challenging week (as usual) was to entertain the notion that my own stress and PERCEPTIONS of others' stress in some ways affects my thoughts (not my actions-- once again, I didn't behave rudely or arrogantly to the lady). I think this is a fair and honest idea and I was interested to see if anyone else felt the same way and would be fair and honest in admitting it.

    I'm going to go out on an arrogant limb and reiterate my point-- I perceive that my work (current and future) in the medical field is more stressful, taxing, and has required more sacrifice than the nail lady's work. While I don't believe that my intrinsic value is greater than hers, my perception of my work and her work perhaps makes me bitter, and jealous in a sense. I could be greedy and overvalue myself and my work, if that was my schtick. I could start painting nails tomorrow and bully my customers into overpaying me, too. OR, I could EARN that money by pursuing a career with greater pay, if money was my schtick. Based on her treatment of me, I'm assuming that money is indeed the nail lady's schtick.

    Money isn't my schtick. I just hope I'll be paid what my services are worth, not what I think I deserve. I'm not arrogant in thinking that I'm hot **** because I'm a potential doctor or because I expect to earn a lot of money. I'm intending to do preventive primary care, which pays jack. I'm concerned with how much money I'm NOT going to make. Will I be able to afford becoming a doctor?

    Nevertheless, I want to become a doctor and I've been busting my a$$ for a long time, doing what's required to make that happen. This is my choice, I'm committed to it, I'm crazy and want to work hard, it makes me happy, and I hope that it works out for me. Not everyone can become a doctor, and not everyone would want to. Likewise, not everyone can do nails, and not everyone would want to. We're just a big ol' happy family in the marketplace, each of us with a job that's 'real' to us. :) And generally speaking, our pay reflects the value of our services: the doctor who performs your brain surgery gets paid more than the person who cooks your fries (or paints your nails). Yes, there are outliers to this general rule: movie stars and athletes that get paid out the wazoo (because society is willing to), yes there are manual laborers who work their asses off and provide value to society and get paid jack so they have to hold three jobs (my father being one of them). The world's a sick place. But there are also those cases of people-- like doctors-- who work their asses off to get into med school, to finish med school, to continue lifelong learning, who sacrifice much of themselves and their families and their free time and their own health to do their work. And yeah, they get paid more. And they deserve it! More so than a tacky strip-mall nail lady who gives me grief about my 20% tip being cheap, but that's just my stress-induced arrogance talking...

    So, if after (hopefully) making my comments more clear you still don't agree with me, then that's okay. But, really-- you don't agree with me?! :laugh:

    P.S. I MUST be arrogant to write a post this long. I'm assuming someone will care enough to read it! Or not.
     
  26. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member
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    My apologies...

    My true intention is to become nominated for the "Longest SDN Post Ever" award. Please! Please!
     
  27. nimotsu

    nimotsu 荷物
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    arrogant... maybe :confused:

    trivial... yes :laugh:
     
  28. NapeSpikes

    NapeSpikes Believe, hon.
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    Seriously.

    For the OP, yes that nail lady was just plain rude. But let it go, man.

    This is how I'm reading the OP's sentiments: "Gosh, that lady was rude to me. But maybe I'm put off by her because I am going to be a doctor."

    The incident was simply a case of one person being rude, and another reacting negatively to that rudeness, justifiably so. Why make it into this thing about your perception of her low stress level, your being put off by her is related to your future career goals, etc? Guilty conscience? The more you rationalize or justify your negative reactions to her rudeness, the more arrogant and self-important you sound.
     
  29. PhotoMD

    PhotoMD Rad!
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    "Help! I'm starting to suck!"

     
  30. TX515

    TX515 Senior Member
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    I don't think most professionals develop a sense of superiority. For the ones who do have that trait, I think they developed it before becoming professional.
     
  31. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member
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    "Help! I'm self-righteous!"

    J*sus, there are at least 4-5 more f*ckwits on SDN than I thought there were. So much for being honest and lighthearted. From now on, I'll stop my tongue-in-cheek comments and try to be more t*ghta$$ed, preachy, and self-important. Some of you are my new arrogant role models. Good onyas. :thumbup:
     
  32. drmota

    drmota 2K Member
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    the bottom line is, if you're arrogant and never stop being arrogant, people will start believeing that you're just always right. i'm not saying that's the way it should be, but its just the way it is. and by arrogant i mean extra-confident without being too demeaning. whatev.
    -mota
     
  33. Chinorean

    Chinorean Senior Member
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    Well who hasn't had a mean thought when someone was rude to them? I know I've thought to myself "well at least I have a future" when stupid kids made fun of me for being nerdy. Sure it's not classy, but I bet everyone has done it at least once!

    Anyways, the standard is a 15% tip, so unless the pedicure was more than $65 your tip was ok.
     
  34. Slide

    Slide Finally, no more "training"
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    I agree completely. All in all, tips are optional, not mandated. It's just that not giving one out will make someone look like a cheapskate. However, if someone has the nerve to demand a tip, or more, then they don't deserve much. Honestly, I would have said, "If you give me more lip, you'll be lucky to receive just half that, if any...".

    For a good discussion on how to tip, watch "Reservoir Dogs".
     
  35. Centinel

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    Your reaction has nothing to do with elitism or arrogance. That woman was just flatly rude, and your reaction was appropriate.
     

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