I'm being ungrateful and I hate myself for it. Any advice?

Caterpillar34

2+ Year Member
May 30, 2018
247
443
Basically, the title. This cycle has been stressful and it's been getting to me lately. My brain understands that I have a lot and I am in a very fortunate position, but my heart needs some convincing. My heart feels really hard and cold - it craves more and more.

How can I be grateful for what I have and stop thinking about what I don't? Any advice? My apologies if this comes off odd, my first impulse was to post here.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 users
About the Ads
Mar 7, 2019
67
47
Status
  1. Pre-Medical
Depends what are you feeling ungrateful about - is this with regards to your application itself? or is the cycle just getting to you and you feel overwhelmed about your life overall?
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 user

premed20172017

2+ Year Member
Jan 8, 2018
1,401
2,461
If you’re feeling ungrateful about your success this cycle, remember that most applicants don’t get accepted anywhere. It’s hard to keep things in perspective, especially on Sdn where many applicants have 5+ iis, but they’re in the minority! Congratulations on your success and your self awareness! Knowing that you feel ungrateful is the first step to feel more appreciative about your successful cycle. Good luck!
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: 11 users
Feb 27, 2018
395
644
Status
  1. Non-Student
@Moko @_Cloud9 OP got into U. of Louisville, but didn't make it into U. Penn, Hopkins, Vagelos, or Weiss based on cursory view of first page search results. Looking back at working in the OR at Methodist, there were Weiss students who would rotate through during the end of the year and it was not a conducive learning environment for them imo. There was probably a better learning experience for them from January to July, but I didn't see a lot of M3 or M4 students in that time frame. Things could have easily changed since it was a short contract and a couple of years ago.
 
Last edited:
  • Wow
  • Like
Reactions: 1 users

Caterpillar34

2+ Year Member
May 30, 2018
247
443
If this is regarding admissions, then take a look through the reapplicant sub-forum or the 'no II' thread. Better is the enemy of good.
Thank you, you are right. Comparison is the theif of contentedness.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3 users

Caterpillar34

2+ Year Member
May 30, 2018
247
443
If you’re feeling ungrateful about your success this cycle, remember that most applicants don’t get accepted anywhere. It’s hard to keep things in perspective, especially on Sdn where many applicants have 5+ iis, but they’re in the minority! Congratulations on your success and your self awareness! Knowing that you feel ungrateful is the first step to feel more appreciative about your successful cycle. Good luck!
I appreciate the kind words. I feel much better now, I guess I was feeling hungry/tired/stressed when I wrote this.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 users
Feb 27, 2018
395
644
Status
  1. Non-Student
@Caterpillar34 Out of curiosity are you a New York native? I think that there's a substantial difference in perception between the people who grew up in the big apple and the people who look at the city from the outside.
 
  • Sad
Reactions: 1 user

efle

not an elf
5+ Year Member
Apr 6, 2014
13,237
20,036
Status
  1. Medical Student
Comparison is the thief of joy. This is a lesson to learn ASAP because, much like imposter syndrome, it will plague you in your medical school years if you don't get a grip on it. I know people with 250+ step scores who were upset because their friends got 260+, and people who were devastated by getting a High Pass on certain rotations despite that being the median grade.

The fix is in the perspective. Look at the US population. Look at how few are able and privilaged to attend university. Look at how few of those are able to ace their way through years of basic science cousework, the even fewer who score competitively on the MCAT. Out of that highly selected-for group that can apply to medical school, look at the minority who get an offer of admission.

That's you. You get to be an American physician. If you feel upset at all it's because you're refusing to let yourself feel happy and proud by comparing yourself only to outliers on the internet.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: 17 users

Caterpillar34

2+ Year Member
May 30, 2018
247
443
@Caterpillar34 Out of curiosity are you a New York native? I think that there's a substantial difference in perception between the people who grew up in the big apple and the people who look at the city from the outside.
No I am not.
Comparison is the thief of joy. This is a lesson to learn ASAP because, much like imposter syndrome, it will plague you in your medical school years if you don't get a grip on it. I know people with 250+ step scores who were upset because their friends got 260+, and people who were devastated by getting a High Pass on certain rotations despite that being the median grade.

The fix is in the perspective. Look at the US population. Look at how few are able and privilaged to attend university. Look at how few of those are able to ace their way through years of basic science cousework, the even fewer who score competitively on the MCAT. Out of that highly selected-for group that can apply to medical school, look at the minority who get an offer of admission.

That's you. You get to be an American physician. If you feel upset at all it's because you're refusing to let yourself feel happy and proud by comparing yourself only to outliers on the internet.
I had a chat with my mother, she gave similar advice. I appreciate your words, I'll make an effort to take them to heart.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 users

efle

not an elf
5+ Year Member
Apr 6, 2014
13,237
20,036
Status
  1. Medical Student
No I am not.

I had a chat with my mother, she gave similar advice. I appreciate your words, I'll make an effort to take them to heart.
Also take to heart that you can match to any tier or location of residency from any US medical school. Even if the next few years aren't your dream place, the half dozen years of training and full career afterwards still can be.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 5 users

Angus Avagadro

SDN Lifetime Donor
Lifetime Donor
2+ Year Member
Aug 3, 2018
2,160
4,946
Status
  1. Attending Physician
I think the hardest adjustment for many med students is realizing they are average students in an elite population of students. Some in that population are "Scary" smart. Being in the top 10% in undergrad is not the same as being in the top 10% in your med school class. Some have difficulty reconciling this. Follow your dreams and run your own race. Don't worry about what other students in your class are doing or how they study. Do what's right for you to be successful and you will be. Good luck and best wishes!
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: 12 users

kingdomheart

2+ Year Member
Aug 3, 2016
348
619
Status
  1. Medical Student
I think the hardest adjustment for many med students is realizing they are average students in an elite population of students. Some in that population are "Scary" smart. Being in the top 10% in undergrad is not the same as being in the top 10% in your med school class. Some have difficulty reconciling this. Follow your dreams and run your own race. Don't worry about what other students in your class are doing or how they study. Do what's right for you to be successful and you will be. Good luck and best wishes!

Agree with this.
Also, unlike undergrad where everyone is competing to get into medical school. Once you're in medical school, every student has different priorities. Some want to be PCPs, some want to go into academic medicine, some are gunning for plastics/derm/ortho, and I know some students who just wanted to pass.
Point is, when you've made it to med school, you can choose your own unique path. Just look at the various specialties and then sub-specialties. At that level, I think comparing yourself to others is useless. You have your own journey to follow.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 4 users

Goro

SDN Gold Donor
Gold Donor
10+ Year Member
Jun 10, 2010
63,605
95,702
Somewhere west of St. Louis
Status
  1. Non-Student
Basically, the title. This cycle has been stressful and it's been getting to me lately. My brain understands that I have a lot and I am in a very fortunate position, but my heart needs some convincing. My heart feels really hard and cold - it craves more and more.

How can I be grateful for what I have and stop thinking about what I don't? Any advice? My apologies if this comes off odd, my first impulse was to post here.
Go work in a hospice or with the homeless. Those are pretty good at stopping pity parties
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Wow
Reactions: 11 users

AMCASTuesdays

I heard vaccines killed Jenny Schecter
May 24, 2019
581
1,522
Status
  1. Medical Student (Accepted)
If you're on any kind of social media find old tweets/posts. A month or so back I found of the app process I found a tweet of mine from like freshman year- I had tried a few questions on one of those kaplan mock exam samples just for kicks and got bodied lol. It really helped me put the process into perspective - I would've killed back then to know I'd have survived the MCAT let alone the app process
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3 users
Aug 21, 2019
140
190
Status
  1. Pre-Medical
NGL this cycle has brought my depressive tendencies out 10 fold. If you have struggled with mental health before or this is the first time you are feeling low, I suggest trying to get some support. Not sure if that's what you mean, but for me it's been real.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 users
D

deleted647690

If you're on any kind of social media find old tweets/posts. A month or so back I found of the app process I found a tweet of mine from like freshman year- I had tried a few questions on one of those kaplan mock exam samples just for kicks and got bodied lol. It really helped me put the process into perspective - I would've killed back then to know I'd have survived the MCAT let alone the app process

In addition to this, if you don't already, start writing in a diary. Maybe after exams or significant events in your life, write reflections about how you feel. It's pretty much the same idea as what this person said, but it's nice to look back on these experiences later on to see how you've changed
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 user

Matthew9Thirtyfive

Giving the side eye
Staff member
Administrator
Moderator
5+ Year Member
Jan 11, 2016
21,053
36,498
Status
  1. Medical Student
Just want to put out there that you’re not a bad person for having those feelings. People have feelings, and they’re not always great. What matters is what you do with them. You know it is a bit ungrateful to feel that way. So take those feelings captive and just make the conscious decision to put them out and replace them with thoughts of thankfulness.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 8 users
Oct 14, 2019
66
199
I resonate with this thread a little. For me there was a lot of good news and excitement early on in the app cycle and it’s been really stagnant since. I am a reapp so obviously I’m so happy to be going to medical school but then I also have the ‘well what’s next?’ feeling and feel a little deflated/ungrateful . Anyways, if anyone on here is looking for some introspection I recommend reading “Kitchen Table Wisdom” by Rachel Naomi Remen, truly fantastic read. I also work with cancer pts everyday so that puts things into perspective too ofc.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 user
This thread is more than 1 year old.

Your message may be considered spam for the following reasons:

  1. Your new thread title is very short, and likely is unhelpful.
  2. Your reply is very short and likely does not add anything to the thread.
  3. Your reply is very long and likely does not add anything to the thread.
  4. It is very likely that it does not need any further discussion and thus bumping it serves no purpose.
  5. Your message is mostly quotes or spoilers.
  6. Your reply has occurred very quickly after a previous reply and likely does not add anything to the thread.
  7. This thread is locked.
About the Ads