i'm supposed to be happy that i matched, but...

[PostCall]

it's anticlimactic to say the least. during the match ceremony other people were celebrating, high 5iving, etc. i was glad too i got my residency that i wanted but i'm looking at the big picture here. chances are some of the people jumping up and down out of sheer joy are gonna bail on their residency in one or more years or get kicked out for whatever reason. i bet the residents and attendings who post here about how much they don't like it anymore were just as happy when they matched too.

then today, as a 4th year on the chillest rotation ever, i leave early at noon and greeting me is a gorgeous day, sun's shinning, weather's perfect. i grab a nice cool drink and sit in an outdoor cafe and just chill. no obligations whatsoever. but can't totally relax cuz i know that in a few short months i'm gonna be getting intern'ed. it won't matter how nice the day is outside, i'll be grunt working it in a hospital, 24hour call and all. day after day to move up the hierarchy so i can finally "make it". like every other M.D. down this same well trodden path. man, sometimes i think it's all rigged. this career relies on our egos to not settle and keep going. getting your M.D. isn't enough, you gotta do residency--->just doing an internship isn't enough, you gotta finish your residency for it to mean anything---->finishing residency isn't enough, you're not relevent until you're board certified and officially on facutly--->you're just junior faculty, you gotta...round and round we go.

sometimes i seriously feel like calling up my residency and telling them i change my mind. give my position to some desperate unmatched FMG (or AMG) who's life and self-worth revolves around this dog and pony show. i'm done. i got my M.D. and i'll do something with it where i can still sit out on a beautiful day like this with no obligations...perpetual 4th year bliss style. then i realize they now own me as do my loan lenders to the tune of >$200K. gotta keep playing the game to pay(back) the piper...

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[Dr.LeoSpaceman]

it's anticlimactic to say the least. during the match ceremony other people were celebrating, high 5iving, etc. i was glad too i got my residency that i wanted but i'm looking at the big picture here. chances are some of the people jumping up and down out of sheer joy are gonna bail on their residency in one or more years or get kicked out for whatever reason. i bet the residents and attendings who post here about how much they don't like it anymore were just as happy when they matched too.

then today, as a 4th year on the chillest rotation ever, i leave early at noon and greeting me is a gorgeous day, sun's shinning, weather's perfect. i grab a nice cool drink and sit in an outdoor cafe and just chill. no obligations whatsoever. but can't totally relax cuz i know that in a few short months i'm gonna be getting intern'ed. it won't matter how nice the day is outside, i'll be grunt working it in a hospital, 24hour call and all. day after day to move up the hierarchy so i can finally "make it". like every other M.D. down this same well trodden path. man, sometimes i think it's all rigged. this career relies on our egos to not settle and keep going. getting your M.D. isn't enough, you gotta do residency--->just doing an internship isn't enough, you gotta finish your residency for it to mean anything---->finishing residency isn't enough, you're not relevent until you're board certified and officially on facutly--->you're just junior faculty, you gotta...round and round we go.

sometimes i seriously feel like calling up my residency and telling them i change my mind. give my position to some desperate unmatched FMG (or AMG) who's life and self-worth revolves around this dog and pony show. i'm done. i got my M.D. and i'll do something with it where i can still sit out on a beautiful day like this with no obligations...perpetual 4th year bliss style. then i realize they now own me as do my loan lenders to the tune of >$200K. gotta keep playing the game to pay(back) the piper...

Wow, you are absolutely miserable. Here's some advice from someone who also just matched: quit now. I'm not sure what specialty you're going into, but I certainly don't want you being on either end of one of my consults.

The fact that you imply that everyone who is excited about matching, or those that may be happy with their career, has their "life and self worth revolve around this dog and pony show" is patently offensive. Medicine is certainly an important part of my life, and if I didn't derive some amount of personal satisfaction from it, I wouldn't be doing it. Amazingly, though, I've found ways to maintain other interests, and find joy in other things. I'm sorry that you haven't.

You want a job where you can just lay around and lay around with no obligations? Good luck, man. Having obligations is called "being an adult". So if you want to move back into your parents basement, and live the good life, be my guest. Otherwise, grow up.

 

[Speculatrix]

Wow, you are absolutely miserable. Here's some advice from someone who also just matched: quit now. I'm not sure what specialty you're going into, but I certainly don't want you being on either end of one of my consults.

The fact that you imply that everyone who is excited about matching, or those that may be happy with their career, has their "life and self worth revolve around this dog and pony show" is patently offensive. Medicine is certainly an important part of my life, and if I didn't derive some amount of personal satisfaction from it, I wouldn't be doing it. Amazingly, though, I've found ways to maintain other interests, and find joy in other things. I'm sorry that you haven't.

You want a job where you can just lay around and lay around with no obligations? Good luck, man. Having obligations is called "being an adult". So if you want to move back into your parents basement, and live the good life, be my guest. Otherwise, grow up.

I think that's being a little unfair. I'm sure many of us have gone through blissful periods of senioritis, and I'm sure the person had that punctuated with a sense of impending doom regarding residency. Don't you remember when you got into medical school, were blissful, and reading those threads from upper years saying "enjoy your last few weeks before it all starts"? And just after high school just before college. It's the same feeling over again just before residency. And I'm sure just before fellowship on cush senior residency rotations. And I'm sure just before retirement.

To the original guy/gal - I know you'll get over it, you're in the same boat as all of us. Just remember that you will one day have that time of bliss again where you're just drinking margaritas on the beach. It will come sooner than you think, but you may not know exactly when.

 

[PostCall]

Wow, you are absolutely miserable. Here's some advice from someone who also just matched: quit now. I'm not sure what specialty you're going into, but I certainly don't want you being on either end of one of my consults.

The fact that you imply that everyone who is excited about matching, or those that may be happy with their career, has their "life and self worth revolve around this dog and pony show" is patently offensive. Medicine is certainly an important part of my life, and if I didn't derive some amount of personal satisfaction from it, I wouldn't be doing it. Amazingly, though, I've found ways to maintain other interests, and find joy in other things. I'm sorry that you haven't.

You want a job where you can just lay around and lay around with no obligations? Good luck, man. Having obligations is called "being an adult". So if you want to move back into your parents basement, and live the good life, be my guest. Otherwise, grow up.

i didn't mean for the dog+pony show to be offensive but there's no denying a lot of premed's/med student's/resident's lives revolve around medicine...it's what basically defines them, with of course the token and predictable outside "interests"...makes for great talking points during those interviews. or else we wouldn't have numerous threads on this and other forums about people (a lot of the times FMGs, sometimes AMGs) all but offering to sell their soul to get a residency spot at any hospital any place as long they get one. have u ever been around someone who's found they went unmatched...it's as if the world has ended for them--->on to the goat rodeo of the scramble so they get at least something so they feel relevent.

as far as the "grow up" thing....well yeah that's the oldest shaming language in the book to make u feel bad about not playing grown up like all the other adults and shouldering obligations cuz that what adults do. all i know sitting there earlier today enjoying that beautiful day will feel better than any day of residency. but as i said i got no choice...$200K calls and i got no choice but to answer it...and we all know but don't want to admit that a lot (most?) docs put on that white coat in the morning cuz they're trapped too.

 

[colbgw02]

Journey. Not destination.

 

[PostCall]

Journey. Not destination.

journey's feeling overrated for the destination.

 

[lowbudget]

There's reality, & then there's how you perceive your reality. I feel sorry for you that you can't be happy when there are 5 million reasons to be happy.

You should google "positive psychology" & try to incorporate some of that into your own life. Good things happen to good people. Because miserable people can't / don't appreciate good things.

Obviously, your future-o-scope or crystal ball is smudged with despair & misery. You can accept that as your reality, or, you can make a choice to put those flawed lense down & enjoy all the things that are right in front of you & carpe your diem.

And if you're having trouble doing that, take your anhedonia to counseling & work it through.

 

[PostCall]

There's reality, & then there's how you perceive your reality. I feel sorry for you that you can't be happy when there are 5 million reasons to be happy.

You should google "positive psychology" & try to incorporate some of that into your own life. Good things happen to good people. Because miserable people can't / don't appreciate good things.

Obviously, your future-o-scope or crystal ball is smudged with despair & misery. You can accept that as your reality, or, you can make a choice to put those flawed lense down & enjoy all the things that are right in front of you & carpe your diem.

And if you're having trouble doing that, take your anhedonia to counseling & work it through.

"positive psychology"..."good things happend to good people"..."carpe diem". come on man what is that weak sauce, introductory pop psychology 101 or did u just get done watching dead poet's society? talk reasonable man.

 

[Gastrapathy]

OK, here's reasonable. You matched. You like your specialty. You are going into residency at a time when it is far easier than ever before. Out the other side, you'll have a reliable job in a ****ty economy and will never have to worry about making ends meet. You probably won't get rich seeing patients but you'll be comfortable.

 

[Superfrost]

Somewhere out there is a bum lying on the beach thinking man, maybe I shoulda done something meaningful with my life.

 

[PostCall]

OK, here's reasonable. You matched. You like your specialty. You are going into residency at a time when it is far easier than ever before. Out the other side, you'll have a reliable job in a ****ty economy and will never have to worry about making ends meet. You probably won't get rich seeing patients but you'll be comfortable.

man that's basically all there is to it when all is said and done. get through residency for that secure job waiting for u on the other side. kinda like what i used to hear about getting through med school for a residency, and before that getting through those premed requirements (organic chem anyone?) to the promised land of med school. it feels like getting that acceptance letter to med school part 2. but this time i don't have much of a choice. m.d. degree is an expensive ticket to the residency show, not redeemable for much else on its own.

 

[mauvespice]

Not sure if I can help but out of sheer curiosity, what is your definition of "success", other than sitting around in a cafe basking in the lovely afternoon sun? I mean who doesn't like that, but it cant be the only thing you would wanna do everyday for the rest of your life. You might argue saying that you don't really care about success at this point but I would beg to differ if you do. So hypothetically, how would you define success?

 

[wild0ne]

Man, everyone's riding on the OP for no reason. He has valid points. There is a stark difference between many individuals between March 18th of M4 year vs. March 18th of intern year.

One of the fundamental questions you have to ask yourself after accomplishing something is, "Was it worth it?". It's becomingly increasingly difficult to answer that question with a "Yes" in medicine. There's a different tipping point for everyone. The OP is just expressing his/hers. For some, they'd rather be sipping a margarita on a bright sunny day at 5pm rather than taking care of the 8th patient with SOB and chest pain that day. There's nothing wrong with that.

And c'mon ... the OP is not saying he/she is miserable all the time, wants to sip margaritas all day every day, nor does he/she define success by wanting to do the latter.

PostCall, I hear you. There are going to be many days where you feel like throwing in the towel. Do keep in mind (everyday) the positives that others have mentioned. Cause, without them, it's going to be loong road.

 

[PostCall]

Not sure if I can help but out of sheer curiosity, what is your definition of "success", other than sitting around in a cafe basking in the lovely afternoon sun? I mean who doesn't like that, but it cant be the only thing you would wanna do everyday for the rest of your life. You might argue saying that you don't really care about success at this point but I would beg to differ if you do. So hypothetically, how would you define success?

son, i don't need/want to argue it. this career always changes the goalposts of success on you. before in this country (and still in many other countries today) a medical degree was a remarkable achievement. with your m.d. degree in hand and a year of internship you could immediately start working as a GP and fully support yourself and your family. now a medical degree has more or less become a means to get into an internship, and even with an internship you're still not "qualified" for anything except...more residency. so getting your m.d. isn't as "successful" as it used to be. the goalposts have changed. likewise, before when u finished your full residency that was it. now you're not "qualified" until you're board certified/recertified. who knows, maybe in the future doing a residency won't be enough. gotta go do a fellowship on top of it to be deemed "qualified". on and on.

getting through med school is successful enough for me. but that doesn't mean much cuz it's been decided that an m.d. from a US school nonetheless is all but useless without a residency. so my hands are tied and i gotta do a residency for my m.d. to have any practical use. right now my m.d. is no more useful than the b.s. degree i got 4 years ago. in fact it might be less useful as it now makes me "OVERqualified". have mercy.

 

[mauvespice]

I didn't mean to antagonize you there with that statement. I just thought that you might define success as having peace of mind while working in outpatient settings that lets you have control over your hours with a life outside as opposed to striving to make it to the pedestal of academic/research medicine. Each person defines success differently, and I was just curious to see what your definition was. I agree that it can be a cause of some distress when you think you have reached a milestone and are ready to hoist a flag while instead of a sense of completion, you see a long twisted road ahead. Medicine is fortunately quite a vast field and if you are able to define your success, you might be able to carve your path if you give it a chance- not trying to be grandmotherly here but I really think this uneasiness will pass and by pass I mean resolved not repressed.

Umm and about the part where internship alone used to be sufficient to practice as a GP, I'm pretty sure it might have been long done away with when you entered med school or even pre-med. So you knew there would at least be a 3 yr residency after medical school when you were getting in. Its odd to dig up graves now, not because its wrong but its just not absolute, things are so diff now than they were 2 decades ago- more litigation, more quality control of care, more need to update your knowledge as a prac physician- so its a whole can worms not just limited to duration of training. Plus nothing much you can do about it- not like you can convince ACGME to cut back yrs of training.

If some time passes and you still feel repulsed at the thought of residency, then you might consider other options like an MBA or MHS for more administrative positions- I don't know I'm just spewing out options here that would not require residency training.

son, i don't need/want to argue it. this career always changes the goalposts of success on you. before in this country (and still in many other countries today) a medical degree was a remarkable achievement. with your m.d. degree in hand and a year of internship you could immediately start working as a GP and fully support yourself and your family. now a medical degree has more or less become a means to get into an internship, and even with an internship you're still not "qualified" for anything except...more residency. so getting your m.d. isn't as "successful" as it used to be. the goalposts have changed. likewise, before when u finished your full residency that was it. now you're not "qualified" until you're board certified/recertified. who knows, maybe in the future doing a residency won't be enough. gotta go do a fellowship on top of it to be deemed "qualified". on and on.

getting through med school is successful enough for me. but that doesn't mean much cuz it's been decided that an m.d. from a US school nonetheless is all but useless without a residency. so my hands are tied and i gotta do a residency for my m.d. to have any practical use. right now my m.d. is no more useful than the b.s. degree i got 4 years ago. in fact it might be less useful as it now makes me "OVERqualified". have mercy.

 

[lowbudget]

.

 

[lowbudget]

"positive psychology"..."good things happend to good people"..."carpe diem". come on man what is that weak sauce, introductory pop psychology 101 or did u just get done watching dead poet's society? talk reasonable man.

LMAO! I love SDN.

Troll, I give you 1 year & 3 months until you drop out of your matched specialty, if not medicine, altogether. Call is going to break you. Why? Because your attitude sucks.

Nobody likes a Debbie Downer, to hang out with, to drink with, or most of all, to work with or be on call with. You're a detriment to your patients, your colleagues, your subordinate, and most of all, yourself.

Intern year is nothing. Wait until Sophomore Slump. And if you survive that, wait until your paycheck & your livelihood is tied directly to the very things that make you miserable & loathe yourself. You know that stench that you carry? That self-loathing attitude? That's what's gonna get you divorced.

You have the golden opportunity to make your life better by making your patients' lives better. They are sick, they are poor, & they are counting on you to show up to work & work hard for them. If all you can think about is sipping latte's at high noon, your ass needs a vacation.

So take your vacation, enjoy your 4th year. At the very least, escape from medicine by doing things outside of medicine & having friends outside of medicine. Maybe then will you get your mind right.

I wish you the best.

 

[dragonfly99]

I kind of don't get it.
If you pick a high powered career like medicine, you're going to have to work long and hard at what you do, at least for a time. I don't get why people don't think about these things before they start med school? I know some things about this process can be surprising, and not necessarily in a good way, but all this shouldn't be a total shock.

If you matched into your desired specialty you are much luckier than a lot of people. I didn't...in fact I didn't even apply because I knew I wouldn't be able to get in. Anyway, I still wanted to be a doc because I still wanted to take care of patients, which is what I am doing now.

Maybe part of this problem is people who really don't have a passion for taking care of patients and still end up going to med school? I'm not trying to pile on the OP too much, but it seems to me that might be the core problem for a lot of people. I mean, residency is a grind and I imagine so is being an attending in academics or private practice sometimes. So the only thing that could get you through perhaps without being miserable is that you LIKE what you are actually doing.

But maybe OP just has a little senioritis. It was totally beautiful outside today and I ended up spending almost 12 hrs in the hospital, so I can kind of relate...but then again I helped some sick people get better and to me that has more meaning than hanging out in a cafe...though I'd have liked to have a couple more free hours to hang @Starbucks, I'll admit.

 

[Scrubbed]

.

 

[tracheatoedoc]

I think the OP has a balanced perspective on the future.
Sure everybody is excited about starting residency, and postcall is just reflecting on what lies ahead.

 

[irie]

 

[latinman]

I will jump in. I can completely sympathize with what the OP is saying. Medicine sometimes can get the worst out of you. Believe it or not, there are many people who choose this profession for the wrong reasons... Too many arrogant SOB's at all levels of our training. Of course, you have to deals with these problems in any other job, BUT in Medicine you have to multiply it by 100.

They make us jump all those loopholes to get done with medical school (ie., Step 1, Step 2, step 2 CS). Now they are talking about maybe doing a clinical component for Step 3 as well. What is next? It seems like the only way they can keep quality standards is by making us take more and more standardized tests which puts us everytime into more debt. There is so much dishonesty during medical school training. The name of the game is do whatever you need to do to accomplish staying ranked in top of your class. Backstab your classmates, make fun of them behind their back, and any privileged information that you might have please don't share it....

Many people want to be a Doctor, BUT they are not WILLING to put the hours. I am talking from personal experience as an intern, resident, and now a PGY-4 who is about to graduate. There are a lot of interns and residents who like to slack and not work hard. They want to give you signout before they have finished the floor work, and they get pissed off if you call them out on their dishonesty. You know you have worked harder than a lot of them, BUT as the end of the day we all get treated the same.

There is so much subjectivity in this entire training process. NOBODY can guarantee you that you will finish your training until you are BOARD CERTIFIED. In other words, you could get BOOTED at any point in your training. We have all seen the threads of how good residents get canned because they got on the wrong side of the PD or some attending. We get humiliated and belittled during this entire training process. Many of the MEDICAL DOCTORS out there are a bunch of insecure people (Otherwise, why make a show in front of everyone and start yelling or insulting someone?). I could keep going on and on.. But I will get done with the rant for now...

 

[medicinesux]

Hey lowbudget, ever hear of the saying that those in glass houses should not throw stones? For someone who bailed out of a prior miserable career on Wall Street, your judgemental remarks are rather hypocritical.

Postcall, ignore the haters. You have no reason to defend or justify yourself. It is better to see the light than to continue to be blinded by it. Perhaps you will take some comfort in the following story which resonates with what you are saying,


"One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.
About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family. "You aren't going to catch many fish that way," said the businessman to the fisherman. "You should be working rather than lying on the beach!"
The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, "And what will my reward be?" "Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!" was the businessman's answer. "And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman, still smiling. The businessman replied, "You will make money and you'll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!" "And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman again. The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman's questions. "You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!" he said.
"And then what will my reward be?" repeated the fisherman. The businessman was getting angry. "Don't you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!" Once again the fisherman asked, "And then what will my reward be?" The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, "Don't you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won't have a care in the world!" The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, "And what do you think I'm doing right now?""

 

[lowbudget]

Hey lowbudget, ever hear of the saying that those in glass houses should not throw stones? For someone who bailed out of a prior miserable career on Wall Street, your judgemental remarks are rather hypocritical.

I was never a victim of my own success. And people don't define for me what success means. I'm in family medicine after all. You think I f'cking care what people think about my job?

son, i don't need/want to argue it. this career always changes the goalposts of success on you. before in this country (and still in many other countries today) a medical degree was a remarkable achievement. with your m.d. degree in hand and a year of internship you could immediately start working as a GP and fully support yourself and your family. now a medical degree has more or less become a means to get into an internship, and even with an internship you're still not "qualified" for anything except...more residency. so getting your m.d. isn't as "successful" as it used to be. the goalposts have changed. likewise, before when u finished your full residency that was it. now you're not "qualified" until you're board certified/recertified. who knows, maybe in the future doing a residency won't be enough. gotta go do a fellowship on top of it to be deemed "qualified". on and on.

getting through med school is successful enough for me. but that doesn't mean much cuz it's been decided that an m.d. from a US school nonetheless is all but useless without a residency. so my hands are tied and i gotta do a residency for my m.d. to have any practical use. right now my m.d. is no more useful than the b.s. degree i got 4 years ago. in fact it might be less useful as it now makes me "OVERqualified". have mercy.

 

[calimeds]

Lowbudget - maybe cut the OP some slack. I'm bailing out of the business world as well, and definitely going into medicine with the full knowledge that money doesn't make you happy, and that I will be making less money in medicine than taking other paths. You and I had time to work and realize that medicine is what we want. The OP may, like many of my friends, have gone straight to med school from undergrad. In which case I can definitely see how he is burned out at this point.

I think it's easier to appreciate how great it is that medicine gives you the opportunity to help people in a concrete way when you come to it after other professional endeavors (wall street, start-ups, etc.).

I also think that physicians who have never worked in any other field probably don't appreciate that the hoops and politics are just as bad elsewhere, but without the emotional rewards of saving lives. And how can they, if undergrad/med school/residency/practice is all they've ever known?

The guy sounds a little depressed and like he needs to vent.

 

[smq123]

i grab a nice cool drink and sit in an outdoor cafe and just chill. no obligations whatsoever. but can't totally relax cuz i know that in a few short months i'm gonna be getting intern'ed. it won't matter how nice the day is outside, i'll be grunt working it in a hospital, 24hour call and all. day after day to move up the hierarchy so i can finally "make it". like every other M.D. down this same well trodden path. man, sometimes i think it's all rigged. this career relies on our egos to not settle and keep going.

I guess. I don't see how this aspect is any different from any other job. Anyone else in any other job has to work everyday, regardless of how nice it is outside. I'm sure they'd rather be sitting at an outdoor cafe drinking something cool, too.

And yeah, we work "day after day to move up the hierarchy," but so do they. Only they do it because they don't want to get fired when their company downsizes.

Having to make a living sucks. Having to be a grown-up sucks, but we all have to do it at some point.

 

[adam6]

man that's basically all there is to it when all is said and done. get through residency for that secure job waiting for u on the other side. kinda like what i used to hear about getting through med school for a residency, and before that getting through those premed requirements (organic chem anyone?) to the promised land of med school. it feels like getting that acceptance letter to med school part 2. but this time i don't have much of a choice. m.d. degree is an expensive ticket to the residency show, not redeemable for much else on its own.

I'm not going to address your concerns about residency - you are right that it can be difficult and draining at times - but also a great time, too (and the years really flew by). However, I think that there is comfort in the fact that there are numerous post-residency career choices. I am completing fellowship and will be faculty in July - and during my training and the job-hunt process, it has been exciting to see the many different career-tracks. You can focus on medical education, medical administration, clinical work, research (bench vs translational vs epidemiologic etc). Or, you can look into options within industry (if that's your cup-o'-tea). You would be hard-pressed to find so many options in other industries.

 

[Dimoak]

all i know sitting there earlier today enjoying that beautiful day will feel better than any day of residency. but as i said i got no choice...$200K calls and i got no choice but to answer it...and we all know but don't want to admit that a lot (most?) docs put on that white coat in the morning cuz they're trapped too.

I'm not an expert, but IMHO, you really should truly step back, and as others mentioned, take some time off and truly reflect on your position. You could just be suffering from post-match burnout. You've just matched, which means a large part of your past few months has been writing personal statements, interviewing, asking for LoRs, submitting LoRs, flying or driving all over some region of the country (if not the whole country), and jumping through whatever hoops necessary to secure the residency that you wanted. So maybe you should just enjoy the rest of 4th year and ponder if this is exactly how you feel or if you're just venting. If at the end, your feelings don't change at all, IMHO, you really should consider contacting the program and going elsewhere. There actually are plenty of jobs (reasonably nice ones) that you can get with just your MD degree, including Biotech, Pharmaceutical or Medical Device sales, etc. I think there's an entire thread on non-clinical opportunities for medical doctorate holders that you should be able to find with a simple search. But stepping into residency with the sort of attitude you've been exhibiting in this thread so far is unlikely to bring you much good. Sure you may step in and have some moment of revelation where you're all-of-the-sudden excited and liking it again, or you might just get the label of "that guy" and have to deal with all sorts of unpleasantries because you truly don't want to be there, and you'll be expected to be there and be productive for a fairly extensive part of your day. Just my 2¢; good luck with whatever you choose to do.

 

[RussianJoo]

journey's feeling overrated for the destination.

I totally agree and wish life was simpler sometimes. for me I plan on getting a nice job with plenty of off time to be able to enjoy the fruits of my labors. but that won't happen till after residency.

 

[PostCall]

There actually are plenty of jobs (reasonably nice ones) that you can get with just your MD degree, including Biotech, Pharmaceutical or Medical Device sales, etc. I think there's an entire thread on non-clinical opportunities for medical doctorate holders that you should be able to find with a simple search.

man that's just not true. those jobs are far and few in between. almost all of them want "experience" anyway. what does a 25 year old like me who's spent the past 8 years in school getting a b.s and m.d. know about "biotech", "pharmaceutical sales", or "medical devices"? besides for those jobs you're competing against board certified attendings with years of experience who are looking for their own exit strategy. so being a fresh grad with no experience is a big disadvantage. i'm telling you an m.d. by itself is nothing more than a very expensive ticket to the residency show. and with a couple hundred thousand G's in debt i got little choice but to punch my ticket and attend the big show.

 

[Dimoak]

man that's just not true. those jobs are far and few in between. almost all of them want "experience" anyway. what does a 25 year old like me who's spent the past 8 years in school getting a b.s and m.d. know about "biotech", "pharmaceutical sales", or "medical devices"? besides for those jobs you're competing against board certified attendings with years of experience who are looking for their own exit strategy. so being a fresh grad with no experience is a big disadvantage. i'm telling you an m.d. by itself is nothing more than a very expensive ticket to the residency show. and with a couple hundred thousand G's in debt i got little choice but to punch my ticket and attend the big show.

No one said those jobs would be cushy or ideal that would allow you to make bank while taking long lunches lounging around (well, sales might), but they're jobs that your MD degree could make you competitive for. As an entry-level in these fields, you'll be trained and then can move your way up if you excel. But yes, these jobs do exist, if the residency path just isn't for you. If you feel residency is a lesser evil, then that's your decision. But if you go in there with a completely negative attitude, it'll be fairly evident to your evaluators and, perhaps just as importantly, your colleagues.

 

[PathMD2010]

I know I have sat in the afternoon sun, thinking about my life to come.

I try to reflect and have some thoughts deeper than those possible previously (like during the first three years of med school, studying for boards and scheduling interviews and worried about matching... ) You have actually matched! You have made it to the save point and are happy chillaxing.

You realize that you have not been this happy in awhile, and you think about all the sacrifices you have made to get to this point. All the friends you lost because you did not have time to hang out or because your life took you a completely different path, changes in your health, weddings missed, family events that you could not make, ect. And you assess your decisions. This is a perfectly adult thing to do!

You start realizing that unlike after college, you now don't have the CHOICE of exiting the game with your save point because you are THAT far in debt. Suddenly, your nice deep thinking, reflecting, happy mood, sun shiny day gets filled with the all familiar anxiety. This does not mean that you regret your decisions, it means that when you finially get to the point of thinking if it was worth it, that it doesn't matter because now you are locked in.

That said, I am looking forward to starting residency; I am also looking forward to chilling out for a bit before starting it

 

[michaelrack]

. what does a 25 year old like me who's spent the past 8 years in school getting a b.s and m.d. know about "biotech", "pharmaceutical sales", or "medical devices"? .

If you were a hot 25 year old female, an md degree probably could help get you into "pharmaceutical sales", and maybe "medical devices"

 

[wine is good]

Wow, you are absolutely miserable. Here's some advice from someone who also just matched: quit now. I'm not sure what specialty you're going into, but I certainly don't want you being on either end of one of my consults.

The fact that you imply that everyone who is excited about matching, or those that may be happy with their career, has their "life and self worth revolve around this dog and pony show" is patently offensive. Medicine is certainly an important part of my life, and if I didn't derive some amount of personal satisfaction from it, I wouldn't be doing it. Amazingly, though, I've found ways to maintain other interests, and find joy in other things. I'm sorry that you haven't.

You want a job where you can just lay around and lay around with no obligations? Good luck, man. Having obligations is called "being an adult". So if you want to move back into your parents basement, and live the good life, be my guest. Otherwise, grow up.

Get off your high horse. Give em some credit to have made it this far. The OP is at a very important transition point in his life and career and its okay to feel that way. I had the same exact sentiments back in the day. Now, I'm a senior surgical resident and pretty happy but still have the same sentiments. Because in the big picture, all this is an illusion we have created in our society and determines our self worth. In reality, there is a giant world out there waiting to be explored and we're here pulling long hours. A lot of it is pointless (tracheostomies and pegs on near-death pts that should have been allowed to go to rest long ago). I don't know anyone around me who loves what they do. They're with content and happy sometimes, but, I'm sure if they were given a few million dollars right now, they would be thinking very hard about cutting out some of the responsibility that goes with this job.

 

[Dr.LeoSpaceman]

Get off your high horse. Give em some credit to have made it this far. The OP is at a very important transition point in his life and career and its okay to feel that way. I had the same exact sentiments back in the day. Now, I'm a senior surgical resident and pretty happy but still have the same sentiments. Because in the big picture, all this is an illusion we have created in our society and determines our self worth. In reality, there is a giant world out there waiting to be explored and we're here pulling long hours. A lot of it is pointless (tracheostomies and pegs on near-death pts that should have been allowed to go to rest long ago). I don't know anyone around me who loves what they do. They're with content and happy sometimes, but, I'm sure if they were given a few million dollars right now, they would be thinking very hard about cutting out some of the responsibility that goes with this job.

I like my high horse, and I'm fine with cutting people slack. But he's spent the last week posting about how miserable he is and why he feels like a career in medicine is pointless. And to what end? At some point it seems like pointless venting. I'm sure everyone is nervous/anxious about the future...I know I am. I'm sure there will be a lot of days where I hate my life. But to find some happiness and contentment in what you do (for anyone) is generally a good start. I'm just not sure what kind of insight or value sentiments like "I wish I didn't have to work, and could just enjoy life" have.

 

[Slack3r]

I was never a victim of my own success. And people don't define for me what success means. I'm in family medicine after all. You think I f'cking care what people think about my job?