Interviews, dating and your local medical school....story at 11

[OrnotMajestic]

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So, I recently started dating a fabulous woman. Of course, I have the worst timing in the worlds, as I'm also applying to medical school. I live in one of those states with only one state school, so naturally all the the other schools are far, far away.

PROBLEM: She has two kids from her previous marriage. I really like this woman, and things have been progressing well. Yet, if I end up on the east coast, or anywhere other than here, we are through. This does not sit well with me, for as I said, I really like her.

MY QUESTION: I just sent in the secondary to my state med school (where I really want to go, anyways)....and I'm hoping for an interview. At the interview, if they ask why I want to go, or anything of the sort, would it be appropriate to mention this to them, or will it seem like coercion or whining? "Well, I'm really falling for this woman that can't leave the state, so if I don't get into this school, we have to break up". Of course, I won't use those exact words....but I do want to be honest with them. There are a million reasons why I want to attend that school...but she is just fast becoming a major part of that decision.

Any thoughts or comments from those of you who are or have been in my shoes?

*note* NO, she can't move to where I go. She has joint custody with her ex, her parents live in town, she owns a home, etc etc. She's established, and can't leave. I'd only be about 80 miles from her if I get into my state school, so we could continue to be together.

 

[An Yong]

I wouldn't mention it. I don't think they would take you seriously unless you had some form of formal commitment (engaged, married etc.)

 

[OrnotMajestic]

That's what I figured as well....still, I know they ask about significant others at interviews at times.

 

[drguy22]

I wouldn't mention it. I don't think they would take you seriously unless you had some form of formal commitment (engaged, married etc.)

well then get engaged 🙂

 

[OrnotMajestic]

well then get engaged 🙂

Good idea! Then I can scare her away, I'll be single again, and then I won't have this problem!! 😛

 

[drguy22]

Good idea! Then I can scare her away, I'll be single again, and then I won't have this problem!! 😛

lol

 

[Ypo.]

If this school was your first choice before you met this girl, I would definitely say at the interview that it was my first choice, and that my girlfriend living nearby has only added incentive to attend that university.

I don't think it will help you get accepted, it wouldn't hurt, though, and if they don't care about your personal life at all, wouldn't that be kind of good to know before attending?

 

[OrnotMajestic]

If this school was your first choice before you met this girl, I would definitely say at the interview that it was my first choice, and that my girlfriend living nearby has only added incentive to attend that university.

I don't think it will help you get accepted, it wouldn't hurt, though, and if they don't care about your personal life at all, wouldn't that be kind of good to know before attending?

Yes, this school was my first choice before I met her....only I didn't apply there because I thought the pre-req's had changed. Upon emailing the school, they assured me I was OK, and I proceeded to apply.

What you suggested is sort of what I was thinking. I know state schools like to hear that their students have ties to the state, and if they ask, I will tell them what I like about their school, and also inform them that my family and my girlfriend are here, and I don't want to leave. Like you said, it won't necessarily get me accepted, but at least they know that I seriously want to stay in-state. I guess this is all a moot point unless I get an interview! *crosses fingers*

 

[kaikai128]

It it came up at an interview, I would say something along the line of "the person i can see myself spending the rest of my life with is an added incentive to remain in this area of the country..." I would not say girlfriend, as that sounds somewhat insignificant...you can't say fiance' because that would be lying...however, if it comes up...I would make the relationship sound as serious as possible (but only if it comes up).

 

[OrnotMajestic]

Well, hopefully by the time the interview comes up (if it does) I'll be able to say that about her.

 

[UseUrHeadFred]

"I find having an established support system here near the University of Blah extremely attractive. I feel family is very important, both to my future patients and to myself."

 

[OrnotMajestic]

"I find having an established support system here near the University of Blah extremely attractive. I feel family is very important, both to my future patients and to myself."

That's basically what I'm planning on saying. It's honest, to the point, and not pathetic.

 

[AsianDoc816]

That's basically what I'm planning on saying. It's honest, to the point, and not pathetic.

Yah, I'd use the word "family" instead of "girlfriend." It's funny (okay, not funny) how adcoms seem to take "spouse" much more seriously than "boyfriend/girlfriend."

 

[Ypo.]

Yah, I'd use the word "family" instead of "girlfriend." It's funny (okay, not funny) how adcoms seem to take "spouse" much more seriously than "boyfriend/girlfriend."

Seriously, and in this day and age. It just shows how conservative the whole process is. BTW, the admissions director of a DO school was very interested in my relationship with my boyfriend-even before she found out we have been together for 6 years. That felt really nice, I wish MD schools would be like that, too.

 

[OrnotMajestic]

Yah, I'd use the word "family" instead of "girlfriend." It's funny (okay, not funny) how adcoms seem to take "spouse" much more seriously than "boyfriend/girlfriend."

Seriously....I mean, in this day and age, it's not as if "spouse" is any more permanent anymore than "boyfriend/girlfriend".

 

[MsEvolution]

So, I recently started dating a fabulous woman. Of course, I have the worst timing in the worlds, as I'm also applying to medical school. I live in one of those states with only one state school, so naturally all the the other schools are far, far away.

PROBLEM: She has two kids from her previous marriage. I really like this woman, and things have been progressing well. Yet, if I end up on the east coast, or anywhere other than here, we are through. This does not sit well with me, for as I said, I really like her.

MY QUESTION: I just sent in the secondary to my state med school (where I really want to go, anyways)....and I'm hoping for an interview. At the interview, if they ask why I want to go, or anything of the sort, would it be appropriate to mention this to them, or will it seem like coercion or whining? "Well, I'm really falling for this woman that can't leave the state, so if I don't get into this school, we have to break up". Of course, I won't use those exact words....but I do want to be honest with them. There are a million reasons why I want to attend that school...but she is just fast becoming a major part of that decision.

Any thoughts or comments from those of you who are or have been in my shoes?

*note* NO, she can't move to where I go. She has joint custody with her ex, her parents live in town, she owns a home, etc etc. She's established, and can't leave. I'd only be about 80 miles from her if I get into my state school, so we could continue to be together.

Hi Oregon,

I wish you the best of luck and hopefully you'll get into OHSU, but don't --I repeat-- DON'T say one of your reasons is your budding relationship! Have several primary reasons (the curriculum, reputation, opportunity for research) and then you can say that it's also your home state where you have a large support network of friends and relatives... and leave it at that. Don't feel that you're denying her... it's just that adcoms are not interested in romantic relationships unless you're talking about a spouse (my wife and children are established here in Oregon and I would much prefer not to uproot my family).

Good luck and I hope things work out for you two!!

 

[OrnotMajestic]

Hi Oregon,

I wish you the best of luck and hopefully you'll get into OHSU, but don't --I repeat-- DON'T say one of your reasons is your budding relationship! Have several primary reasons (the curriculum, reputation, opportunity for research) and then you can say that it's also your home state where you have a large support network of friends and relatives... and leave it at that. Don't feel that you're denying her... it's just that adcoms are not interested in romantic relationships unless you're talking about a spouse (my wife and children are established here in Oregon and I would much prefer not to uproot my family).

Good luck and I hope things work out for you two!!

Oh don't worry, I have plenty of academic reasons for wanting to choose OHSU. I love the early exposure to clinicals, their dedication to primary rural care (including rural 3rd year rotations!), and their incredible location (I love Portland). And as you said, my family lives 80 miles away, my older sister is pregnant again with my second niece/nephew (they used to live in Rhode Island due to her husbands military career, but not live in Lacey, WA and are planning to move back to OR)...so I want to be close to them. Thanks for your advice, as it seems the overwhelming majority of you have told me NOT to mention it (unless they ask). Thanks for the great advice!! 🙂