So I'm on summer break after first year of med school and am really loving feeling like a fully realized human being, interacting with the world in a normal way, not being stressed out about horrid material all the time and just being away from med school. I got a random text from a classmate and it made me think of my med school and the feelings I felt were not...pleasant. I'm not someone who has wanted to be a doctor since I was a fetus and actually found most of first year to be really miserable. The material was unending and mega boring for the most part and I didn't really click with most of my class. I don't know...it seems like a lot of them were in heaven being in med school...most of them seemed to have best friends by the first month and were on their way to making all of their strange workaholic doctor dreams come true. TBH I find a lot of med students and future doctors to be weird (and not in a fun, interesting weird kind of way), and I noticed a lot of personality disorders among my class. Lots of social wannabeism (seriously, it's very odd that people come to med school to try and be the popular kids they never were in high school), lots of obsession with professional success at the expense of caring about anything that's not medically related, lots of socially unaware tendencies and a lot of disingenuous niceties that seem to be a cover for a lot of people who are pathologically competitive and always trying to one up someone else in some way. Maybe that's just life in general, but I found a lot of these kinds of personality traits magnified in med school....I just get the feeling med schools don't really select for generous, happy people who are interested in living lives that don't revolve entirely around medicine. Anyway, sorry, that was long winded. I guess I'm wondering if there are others out there who just don't feel that pumped about med school or medicine...it's ok I guess but I can't pretend that I find most of it that interesting or amazing the way a lot of my classmates do. But maybe all that enthusiasm is just fake. Sometimes I think it has to be because so much of first year was just awful.
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