Is it normal for medical school to be this way socially?

[bellomiss]

I'm currently in medical school and I sometimes really feel down because I feel like I don't get along with my classmates. I honestly wasn't expecting medical school to be like high school where people are in cliques and how I feel like some students don't like me or I am ignored by certain students. The first time I tried to be social with my classmates, I felt a sense of coldness from other students and got the vibe that they didn't want to befriend me. It seems like people in my classes seem to get along but I feel like the odd one out but to be honest, I have always kind of struggled with making friends and I usually enjoy my own company (I am more introverted and quiet). Being in a small class where a majority of people don't like you is torture. Sometimes, I literally don't even want to attend my small classes but then my drive to become a doctor is what is pushing me to attend class. However, being in medical school and hearing about all these psychological disorders makes me really feel like something is seriously wrong with me or that I am abnormal. I constantly question is it me or is it them in regards to me not getting along with others in my class? Is it normal for medical school to be this way or is there something wrong with me that I need to get figured out?

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[Teeth and Titanite]

As long as you aren't excluding others, I don't think you should be worried about anything being wrong with you. Cliques happen in professional school, seems like its an inevitability when class sizes become <500 like in high school. Just match a competitive specialty and show them who's boss .

kidding lol. Ultimately, you can't control how others act-all you can do is be nice to everyone and see who reciprocates.

 

[Dr Meow]

Here's the main thing. Did you try looking to make friends the moment you entered med school?
Because people form those bonds early on. And the bonds stay because it worked and they had tested their synergy in prepping for exams.

If you tried to make friends late, then that's going to be more difficult because people don't have time to include a new person into their group study algorithm.

Also, when you make a group of friends, don't hop around. The purpose of hopping around early on in med school is to find who you're compatible with. After that, you stay with your group till I guess we reach rotations.

The biggest factor in making friends is your study vicinity. I find I'm more likely to make friends with people I'm near to. So if you're late into it, I would find study locations where that have the same people there all the time. Then study near them. At some point, they'll recognize you and you can bring up a question to them. And the relationship will build from there.

 

[Redpancreas]

I'm currently in medical school and I sometimes really feel down because I feel like I don't get along with my classmates. I honestly wasn't expecting medical school to be like high school where people are in cliques and how I feel like some students don't like me or I am ignored by certain students. The first time I tried to be social with my classmates, I felt a sense of coldness from other students and got the vibe that they didn't want to befriend me. It seems like people in my classes seem to get along but I feel like the odd one out but to be honest, I have always kind of struggled with making friends and I usually enjoy my own company. However, being in medical school and hearing about all these psychological disorders makes me really feel like something is seriously wrong with me or that I am abnormal. I constantly question is it me or is it them in regards to me not getting along with others in my class? Is it normal for medical school to be this way or is there something wrong with me that I need to get figured out?

"Life is high school"
Louis Litt

Seriously though, I feel you on this one. If socializing with those individuals gives you a negative vibe, forget it. Just chill on your own for a while until you find someone or multiple people whose company you actually enjoy. Yeah... it's probably better to be balanced and mix alone/social time, but if you're not vibing with anyone yet, better to be happy alone than miserable with people who deplete your energy.

 

[Proudfather94]

I'm currently in medical school and I sometimes really feel down because I feel like I don't get along with my classmates. I honestly wasn't expecting medical school to be like high school where people are in cliques and how I feel like some students don't like me or I am ignored by certain students. The first time I tried to be social with my classmates, I felt a sense of coldness from other students and got the vibe that they didn't want to befriend me. It seems like people in my classes seem to get along but I feel like the odd one out but to be honest, I have always kind of struggled with making friends and I usually enjoy my own company. However, being in medical school and hearing about all these psychological disorders makes me really feel like something is seriously wrong with me or that I am abnormal. I constantly question is it me or is it them in regards to me not getting along with others in my class? Is it normal for medical school to be this way or is there something wrong with me that I need to get figured out?

Honestly I think you just need to know that not everyone is going to want to be your friend. Seeking mass approval is a great way to waste your time and put you in positions to be taken advantage of. In college I had like 3 close friends and we were all helpful and balanced each other. Look for a few people that you would get along with and see if you guys compliment each other.

Do you seem like you fit in with the average medical student at your school? People tend to stick together so if they dress or act similar to each other and you don't it's going to be harder to fit in with them. Is your school ranked? If it is maybe they don't want to befriend the competition.

 

[Dr. Anonymouss]

I was honestly surprised by this as well. My medical school is VERY cliquey. It's to the point where you know who is friends with who and you even know who doesn't like who... it's like high school all over again. So yes, I can confirm that cliques in medical school most definitely are a thing. If you don't feel welcomed or accepted by some of the people in your class then don't bend over backwards trying to be their friend. Like proudfather94 said, not everyone will like you, that is just life. So don't seek for approval from everyone and if you aren't accepted by some individuals then just move on, no point in trying to involve those people in your life anyways. I am sure there are SOME people in your class who have similar interests to you. It is just a matter of finding those people. So look to join different organizations or if you have a class chat (we do) then you can make a post about something you like to do like playing board games, poker, volleyball, etc and see if others would be interested.

 

[BTR41]

Yes it is very normal for medical school to be that way. Honestly I had friends in high school and college, and it was extremely hard to meet people in medical school. I have like 3 friends in medical school and then I have 8-10 friends out side of medical school in the town I live in. If you aren’t making friendships in medical school, try making friendships outside of medical school. It has literally helped me so much mental health wise. My core friend group and boyfriend are all people I met outside of medical school.
Also a lot of people in medical school are rich kids. I grew up in an underserved community and honestly feel a disconnect. Making friends with more middle class and working class individuals outside of medical school has been a life saver. DM if you need additional support. Good luck!

 

[Damson]

Be nice, be you, be respectful of your peers, say hi and try to engage them sometimes, and if a relationship starts try to grow the relationship. That's all

 

[Dral]

Here's the main thing. Did you try looking to make friends the moment you entered med school?
Because people form those bonds early on. And the bonds stay because it worked and they had tested their synergy in prepping for exams.

If you tried to make friends late, then that's going to be more difficult because people don't have time to include a new person into their group study algorithm.

Also, when you make a group of friends, don't hop around. The purpose of hopping around early on in med school is to find who you're compatible with. After that, you stay with your group till I guess we reach rotations.

The biggest factor in making friends is your study vicinity. I find I'm more likely to make friends with people I'm near to. So if you're late into it, I would find study locations where that have the same people there all the time. Then study near them. At some point, they'll recognize you and you can bring up a question to them. And the relationship will build from there.

This was my experience. My med school had this optional camp thing or something that was the week or two prior to med school starting. Mostly all the people that did it formed this clique for the rest of school. The groups I hung out with formed based on my anatomy group and going out to a happy hour or two that someone organized during the first few weeks of school. The main point is that all of those relationships formed early on.

The same thing happened intern year. I went to a large program (like 60 people in my intern year class), and cliques formed early on. Just like med school, there were 'too cool for school' folks there. It's annoying because you'd think people would be over that after high school, but it seems to be human nature for some. Tbh, I didn't bother trying to get in with people that time because I was a prelim and was only there for a year anyway. I was there to work, sleep, and then gtfo.

 

[SpoiledMilk]

From my perspective, there are only two cliques at my school. The "Haves" and "Have-nots"

Haves = medschool paid for (parents, trust fund, scholarships) and will graduate with no debt
Have-notes = loans loans loans and will graduate carrying a mountain on their backs

 

[doctorsharukhan]

From my perspective, there are only two cliques at my school. The "Haves" and "Have-nots"

Haves = medschool paid for (parents, trust fund, scholarships) and will graduate with no debt
Have-notes = loans loans loans and will graduate carrying a mountain on their backs

Match a lucrative specialty (literally every specialty in the right location even FM will make 330k+), pay off your $350k debt in two years, save/invest aggressively for 5, build a huge nest egg so you can do the same for your children

 

[deleted849476]

It’s normal. And heinous.

 

[Proudfather94]

It’s normal. And heinous.

Meh I'd rather a group of people be upfront about the fact that I wouldn't get along with them rather than them fake it or string me along.

 

[deleted849476]

Meh I'd rather a group of people be upfront about the fact that I wouldn't get along with them rather than them fake it or string me along.

I agree with you but thats just not how I interpreted the root of OP’s problem.

 

[Planes2Doc]

I found medical school to be extremely cliquish and much of the way you describe it. Our lectures were not mandatory, except for labs. So I never showed up except to the mandatory stuff. I noticed the people that went to lectures were cliquish and were friends with each other. Since my medical school was local, my friends that I hung with were just the people I knew before medical school. I made a couple friends that I'm still close with to this day in medical school. I'm actually going to see him next month in Louisville for lunch since he is doing a fellowship. The other lives pretty far away, but would see him if he's in town. There are a couple I frequently comment on their Facebook posts, and would see them if they wanted to. Then a lot of people I added back in the day have since unfriended me. But yeah, it was definitely very cliquish. But the experiences can vary greatly, especially if you don't attend lectures. As a commuter and someone that never attended lectures, that definitely made it worse for me.