I am applying to medical schools with a good GPA and a 36 on the MCAT.
I always assumed that medical school was so difficult, because the payoff was so rewarding. I don't mean money, I just mean that you will grow and be challenged, and that kind of thing. I am beginning to wonder if any human institution can really do that for you.
I know I CAN do this, and always do better than my peers, and it's easy for me. I also wonder if the truly smart people are off doing something else, and I am getting stuck in a program with a bunch of try-hards who want to make their parents happy.
-I notice that all my peers who made it to this point have some pretty unique personality traits. They all seem to be very...meek and unopinionated. For all the touchy-feely bull**** they preach, many of them have values that are precisely opposite. The politically correct tone of medical schools bothers me, too. The University of Oregon has a page on their web site that says minority applicants are preferred. On the same page, it states that they do not make decisions based on race, religion, etc. My brain cannot deal with outright bull**** very well. I would rather do something useful about a problem than be filled with ineffectual liberal guilt. FYI, I am a member of the Green party, so don't think I am some right-wing nut ranting.
-I am convinced that the secondary applications exist only to deter people from applying. Those who can put up with the irrelevant bull**** that is the essays get to move on to the next phase. So is this a test of ability, intelligence, and real learning, or is the whole process a contest to see how much irrelevant bull**** you can put up with? Is this about learning to be a strong person or is it a contest to see who can go without sleep the longest? In other words, is the challenge something you learn and benefit from, ir is it just a test to see who is the most stubborn?
-This goes along with point number one. I get the distinct impression that the medical school process is designed to make you willing to accept ****ty conditions. The number one trait medical schools appear to look for, from what I see...is subserviance. Why should I work my ass off so that I can be told what to do by some administrator with a master's degree?
-Medical schools do not make their expectations at all clear. When asked what they look for, the usual answer you get is "Well, we don't really know, we just look at what we get, and want to build a class". Bull****. They know exactly what they want. It's not right for them to be playing those kinds of games when you are dancing around trying to please them, in the most competetive field there is. The MCAT was great, because unlike my undergraduate classes that were taught by incompetent professors, I knew exactly what was expected for the MCAT. At UC Davis, I felt like the challenge was not in learning the material, but rather in compensating for the inability of the instructor to communicate their expectations.
So there you have me. Frustrated, pissed off, because I have a lot of energy and ability that I want to put to good use, but feel like the system I am trying to please is only a hindrance. Medicine feels dehumanizing and emasculating. I am taking the LSAT in the Spring, because I am starting to feel like law is a better career that won't require me to cut my own balls off.
