Is my dean threatening me?

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feeling-dizzy

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So in email exchange between I and the Dean, I criticized the school of its unfair treatment against me . The Dean then proceed and reminded me that I have emailed him several inappropriate emails 1 year ago (but he did not do anything about it); and finally he emailed to tell me to "Chose your battle and your words wisely".
Is this a threat to me? I know i am not supposed to tell him those same words since I am just a student, but is it professionalism for a Dean to tell me to "Chose your battle"?

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I am curious what inappropriate emails you sent him 1 year ago.
Like racist or something?

I mean even if you are indeed treated unfairly, talk nicely (or at least decently) to your dean. He is not the one who is trying to make life hard for you. Be nice and professional to him, and I believe he will do the same to you.
 
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So in email exchange between I and the Dean, I criticized the school of its unfair treatment against me . The Dean then proceed and reminded me that I have emailed him several inappropriate emails 1 year ago (but he did not do anything about it); and finally he emailed to tell me to "Chose your battle and your words wisely".
Is this a threat to me? I know i am not supposed to tell him those same words since I am just a student, but is it professionalism for a Dean to tell me to "Chose your battle"?

This needs so much context for anyone to help you.. what the hell did you tell the dean that made him say "choose you battle and your words wisely". It's not a threat, it seems like advice. But it completely changes depending on how you got to this situation, which is a bad situation to be in!
 
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So in email exchange between I and the Dean, I criticized the school of its unfair treatment against me . The Dean then proceed and reminded me that I have emailed him several inappropriate emails 1 year ago (but he did not do anything about it); and finally he emailed to tell me to "Chose your battle and your words wisely".
Is this a threat to me? I know i am not supposed to tell him those same words since I am just a student, but is it professionalism for a Dean to tell me to "Chose your battle"?
Sorry but WTF are you sending your Dean that could be deemed "inappropriate"? Were you trying to have sex with him?
 
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I do not think that "choose your battles and your words wisely" is a threat. It is just advice that you are probably barking up the wrong tree and using up good will over something small that you may need in the future for things such as good letters of rec, etc.
 
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So in email exchange between I and the Dean, I criticized the school of its unfair treatment against me . The Dean then proceed and reminded me that I have emailed him several inappropriate emails 1 year ago (but he did not do anything about it); and finally he emailed to tell me to "Chose your battle and your words wisely".
Is this a threat to me? I know i am not supposed to tell him those same words since I am just a student, but is it professionalism for a Dean to tell me to "Chose your battle"?
He's not threatening you, he's giving you some really good advice, and I can't sugar coat this: the very fact that you have to ask about this fills me with dread that you have an unhealthy level of cluelessness.
 
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"It's not a threat, it's a warnin'" -Cardi B
 
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Sorry but WTF are you sending your Dean that could be deemed "inappropriate"? Were you trying to have sex with him?
Not really, a year ago I criticized the Dean of unfair treatments against me, and told him that I will report the school to the board; which I did not do because well I still need the degree from the school
 
Not really, a year ago I criticized the Dean of unfair treatments against me, and told him that I will report the school to the board; which I did not do because well I still need the degree from the school
So you accused him of unfair treatment a year ago, and then did recently which is when this threat from him came up? You mentioned the unfair treatment earlier but I thought that was now, not then, but its both?
 
Not really, a year ago I criticized the Dean of unfair treatments against me, and told him that I will report the school to the board; which I did not do because well I still need the degree from the school
Still very vague...spill it out you
 
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So you accused him of unfair treatment a year ago, and then did recently which is when this threat from him came up? You mentioned the unfair treatment earlier but I thought that was now, not then, but its both?
couple unfair treatments about 9 months apart, the school refused to look at my case. I did questioned him of "what battle" he was referring to; but the Dean refused to answer me further
 
couple unfair treatments about 9 months apart, the school refused to look at my case. I did questioned him of "what battle" he was referring to; but the Dean refused to answer me further
The battle is obviously you pushing if you are truly being treated unfairly and if the school is being neglectful by ignoring it. He told you to not create a big stink/fight about things.
 
So in email exchange between I and the Dean, I criticized the school of its unfair treatment against me . The Dean then proceed and reminded me that I have emailed him several inappropriate emails 1 year ago (but he did not do anything about it); and finally he emailed to tell me to "Chose your battle and your words wisely".
Is this a threat to me? I know i am not supposed to tell him those same words since I am just a student, but is it professionalism for a Dean to tell me to "Chose your battle"?
When you decide to do something, ask yourself what you are trying to achieve. Then think if these actions and tools you decided to use will lead you to your goal.

I do not think that emailing back and forth with the Dean will result in anything good for you. Then why even engage. I think this is a situation when you can step back and learn how to control your emotions and thoughts.

You will definitely need it many times more in medicine.

If you really were not treated fairly and this is objective view, then there are proper ways to communicate about it. Engaging in personal battle with the dean with inappropriate emails does nothing good for you nor your case.
 
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Not really, a year ago I criticized the Dean of unfair treatments against me, and told him that I will report the school to the board; which I did not do because well I still need the degree from the school

Sounds like YOU threatened the Dean/school first?

Provide actual background as to what these "unfair treatments" were if you want any meaningful advice.
 
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If you want actual advice, you need to share the actual story. You're being extremely vague about what "unfair treatment" you've suffered and the accusations leveled in your complaints. It makes me think the details reflect poorly on you and you're looking for validation rather than advice.
 
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couple unfair treatments about 9 months apart, the school refused to look at my case. I did questioned him of "what battle" he was referring to; but the Dean refused to answer me further

Your dean is giving you good advice. Sounds like he doesn't want to ruin your academic career but if you keep this up, who knows??

Methinks you're full of ***. Also sounds like you threatened your school with utter nonsense. So please either be more specific ("unfair treatments" ) or just end this thread.
 
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It's difficult to judge whether or not you or the dean is in the wrong because you've given no info other than you were treated unfairly.

Did the dean directly treat you unfairly? Did you send an email with a request and then a threat of reporting the school to the board?

If you feel like the dean is treating you unfairly do not contact the dean about it, go to the superiors. I would suggest that you think about your decision, and also think about the severity of "unfairness" you are being subjected to.
 
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If something truly unfair happened to you, I would think you would have pressed further. Instead you decided not so that you could get your degree as you stated. My first impression is that you tried to enlarge some small annoyance on a grand scale but when responded back to, you flailed as you felt you would not get much traction going. I may be very wrong, of course.

If a school were to deny you a degree because of a complaint filing, they'd be in actual bigger trouble.

Again, as others stated, you gotta give the back story.
 
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I'm just here to follow the thread but I think there is a reason OP is not giving us the entire information...
 
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Yeah he is. You should threaten him back. Be sure to finish your email with a cliffhanger like “or else” or even “you’ll regret this.” By doing this you will make the dean reflect on his past decisions and come to the realization that you are, in fact, correct. Good luck.
 
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couple unfair treatments about 9 months apart, the school refused to look at my case. I did questioned him of "what battle" he was referring to; but the Dean refused to answer me further
It looking over your post history I surmise that English is not your first language. But you have never heard the phrase "pick your battles"???

pick (one's) battle(s) To choose not to participate in minor, unimportant, or overly difficult arguments, contests, or confrontations, saving one's strength instead for those that will be of greater importance or where one has a greater chance of success.
Pick your battles - Idioms by The Free Dictionary
 
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I think you should edit that ^ post to nothing now before someone quotes it and don't participate in this thread anymore. You're easily identifiable by it and it can only hurt you.
 
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The very fact that the school did not sanction you is a a message right there that you did nothing wrong.

FYI, when people are found not guilty in a court of law, the prosecutors don't go out and say "Joe/Jane X was innocent".

For better or worse, especially in the times we live in, Title IX rules are there for the victims of crimes, not the accused.

So, let this one go, if you value your medical career.
 
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FINE, I tell you guys the whole story. One of the girl in my class accused me of sexually assaulted her about 1 year ago. So the school open a Title IX investigation. It was a big mess, they interviewed like half the class and most my instructors. At the end they told me I did not violate school policy (in private meeting of course). So I asked the school to allow me to publicly clear my name since everyone in school already knew about the accusations. That is when they refused to let me do it, and emphasized that they will investigate against me again if anyone feel threatened by me simply clearing my name. They told me their top priority is to protect the complainants. But I asked them what is about my reputation that is damaged, and they already concluded I did not violate any policy.
I keep pressing for the permission from the school, that is when the Dean told me to "Chose your battle and your words carefully" and not answering me anymore.
So, I don't see how the Dean has threatened you at all. Based on the definition that Goro has provided, I think the Dean just gave you an advice to think if you really want to engage in a "minor, unimportant, or difficult argument".

If they have let you go without any charges, thank them and go away. Sometimes fighting for more can result in worse consequences. In your fight for "justice" do you really want them to pull the whole thing back up and turn it against you. I am sure there was something you did, otherwise there would be no investigation. Maybe it was very minor and they decided to let you get away. Show mutual respect for the school and people who complained.
 
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Yeah he is. You should threaten him back. Be sure to finish your email with a cliffhanger like “or else” or even “you’ll regret this.” By doing this you will make the dean reflect on his past decisions and come to the realization that you are, in fact, correct. Good luck.
Perhaps the dean might even comment on SDN if his student is threatening HIM
 
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Here is my theory (which could be completely wrong):
1. OP cheated on exam, got busted, automatically failed that class, and went on official transcript
2. tried to fight it with the dean and failed
3. one year later, tried to argue with dean again (maybe try to negotiate an F into a C)
4. accused dean of not treating him fairly
5. turned to sdn

substitute 1 for anything that would be frowned upon by the adcom
Wrong. OP told his story.
 
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OP it sounds like it’s time to turn off WiFi in the safe space and let this go before you get a disciplinary action and this goes on your committee letter.
 
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@PashaOdesit quoted it already
Mad props to @PashaOdesit. Fastest left click in the West!

Yeah he is. You should threaten him back. Be sure to finish your email with a cliffhanger like “or else” or even “you’ll regret this.” By doing this you will make the dean reflect on his past decisions and come to the realization that you are, in fact, correct. Good luck.
For best results, end with "Don't you know who I think I am?!"

OP, the school's phrasing plays a big role in what they were saying to you. If they said "You did not violate school policy" it means they have enough evidence to determine that your actions weren't against the rules. On the other hand, "There's no evidence that you violated school policy" is very different and means they're not saying you're innocent, just that they can't prove you guilty. Regardless, you do have the option to sue the school if you feel your civil rights are being violated. If you choose that avenue, be prepared for a protracted, vicious battle that will likely leave your reputation in tatters regardless of the outcome. That battle will also result in you having no influential allies left in the school. Or you can decide life's unfair and move forward from here.

I'm not saying you'd be wrong to litigate, nor that you'd be right. I don't have enough details to say one way or the other. All I'm saying is to choose your battles wisely. It's possible to win and still lose.
 
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FINE, I tell you guys the whole story. One of the girl in my class accused me of sexually assaulted her about 1 year ago. So the school open a Title IX investigation. It was a big mess, they interviewed like half the class and most my instructors. At the end they told me I did not violate school policy (in private meeting of course). So I asked the school to allow me to publicly clear my name since everyone in school already knew about the accusations. That is when they refused to let me do it, and emphasized that they will investigate against me again if anyone feel threatened by me simply clearing my name. They told me their top priority is to protect the complainants. But I asked them what is about my reputation that is damaged, and they already concluded I did not violate any policy.
I keep pressing for the permission from the school, that is when the Dean told me to "Chose your battle and your words carefully" and not answering me anymore.

It is so disturbing that everyone here assumed I did something wrong even though the school concluded I did not violate it is policy. If you guys, the unknown people, already made judgement; imagined how my classmates would treat me. And I still have to work side by side with my classmates. I simply want to clear my name for something I did not do. Where is my justice? If it happen to you guys, do you want to clear your name and claim back your reputation or bare the shame forever?
 
Assert your dominance by replying to the dean that you challenge him to a duel.

It’ll be just like Hamilton! You could be rich.
 
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FINE, I tell you guys the whole story. One of the girl in my class accused me of sexually assaulted her about 1 year ago. So the school open a Title IX investigation. It was a big mess, they interviewed like half the class and most my instructors. At the end they told me I did not violate school policy (in private meeting of course). So I asked the school to allow me to publicly clear my name since everyone in school already knew about the accusations. That is when they refused to let me do it, and emphasized that they will investigate against me again if anyone feel threatened by me simply clearing my name. They told me their top priority is to protect the complainants. But I asked them what is about my reputation that is damaged, and they already concluded I did not violate any policy.
I keep pressing for the permission from the school, that is when the Dean told me to "Chose your battle and your words carefully" and not answering me anymore.

It is so disturbing that everyone here assumed I did something wrong even though the school concluded I did not violate it is policy. If you guys, the unknown people, already made judgement; imagined how my classmates would treat me. And I still have to work side by side with my classmates. I simply want to clear my name for something I did not do. Where is my justice? If it happen to you guys, do you want to clear your name and claim back your reputation or bare the shame forever?

Personally, I care more about pursuing my career in medicine than my reputation with my undergraduate peers. It would be a different matter if I was wrongfully accused and actually charged of this crime, since you weren't accused you should count your blessings. This is not a place in your life to make enemies, choose your battles wisely.
 
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That’s a tough situation. How much longer are you going to be there?
 
Personally, I care more about pursuing my career in medicine than my reputation with my undergraduate peers. It would be a different matter if I was accused and actually charged of this crime, since you weren't accused you should count your blessings. This is not a place in your life to make enemies, choose your battles wisely.
Agree with this. Try to bear the amount of time you have left. It may suck but it really may not be a battle worth fighting.
 
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Not really, a year ago I criticized the Dean of unfair treatments against me, and told him that I will report the school to the board; which I did not do because well I still need the degree from the school
duuuuuude, keep your head down and get to graduation

Stop emailing the dean.

S
T
O
P
 
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From someone with a family name that is infamous in my state, just be quiet and get out. If it made the national news, change your last name around 3rd year. Truly, pick your battles. Hell, I am taking my married name before I get my license so people will never associate me with my family. If you are innocent, seek a future, not justice.
 
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Yeah he is. You should threaten him back. Be sure to finish your email with a cliffhanger like “or else” or even “you’ll regret this.” By doing this you will make the dean reflect on his past decisions and come to the realization that you are, in fact, correct. Good luck.

:rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
Suppose you are completely innocent, and the school inappropriately accused you, damaging your reputation. The dean will not be eager to admit misconduct, exposing his school to potential litigation. So what do you have to gain by antagonizing the dean and the school administrators? Keep your head low and graduate - if you're too far along to transfer. Instead of battling the administration, focus on your grades and ECs, making yourself the most competitive applicant for med school you can be. AMCAS and medical schools will never have to know about the dropped allegation. But if you start a firestorm - by taking the matter to court or involving the media - the med schools you apply to may find out, as your name will become associated with the alleged incident. The world is not fair, and perhaps obtaining this knowledge would bias adcoms against you, even though you have never been found guilty of misbehavior. Remember what your primary goals are, be smart, and don't wage battles that may only result, at best, in Pyrrhic victories.
 
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Like I have said at the beginning. It is not clear what OP really wants. Does he want the school to publicly announce his innocence?

Wouldn't it attract even more attention to OP?

Even if school does it, it might draw in more negative attention towards OP. People will still have their own opinion. You are still going to be the subject of conversations, positive or negative.

If you were not accused, this is the best outcome.
 
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I agree that the best thing to do, especially if there is nothing on permanent record, is just to finish the degree and leave. If the OP's social surroundings are truly bothering him to the point of hindrance maybe look into transferring?
 
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I agree that the best thing to do, especially if there is nothing on permanent record, is just to finish the degree and leave. If the OP's social surroundings are truly bothering him to the point of hindrance maybe look into transferring?
If the school gave him some paper that he didn't violate anything, he can show it to his peers.
 
From someone with a family name that is infamous in my state, just be quiet and get out. If it made the national news, change your last name around 3rd year. Truly, pick your battles. Hell, I am taking my married name before I get my license so people will never associate me with my family. If you are innocent, seek a future, not justice.
Yeah just post something as intriguing as this to tease us! Thank you, Ms. Truman-Manson-Cosby-Trump-Snowden.
Being serious, you're right, someone out there may also have to do this. Also, using middle names and initials or adopting the long/short version (Jon/Jonathan) so that it comes up differently in web searches may help.
 
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If the school gave him some paper that he didn't violate anything, he can show it to his peers.

I thought the whole point of this was that the school is not giving him any official statement/allowance so he can 'clear his name'
 
Yeah just post something as intriguing as this to tease us! Thank you, Ms. Truman-Manson-Cosby-Trump-Snowden.
Being serious, you're right, someone out there may also have to do this. Also, using middle names and initials or adopting the long/short version (Jon/Jonathan) so that it comes up differently in web searches may help.
I'm going with Rodman.
 
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If I were in your situation, I would just go ahead and clear my name on my own. Don't involve the dean or the school in any way whatsoever. Just publicly say that the school found you "Not Guilty."
Who cares if the dean specifically told you not to do this? He is NOT going to overturn the results of a concluded investigation just because he's salty.
 
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If I were in your situation, I would just go ahead and clear my name on my own. Don't involve the dean or the school in any way whatsoever. Just publicly say that the school found you "Not Guilty."
Who cares if the dean specifically told you not to do this? He is NOT going to overturn the results of a concluded investigation just because he's salty.

Gather a paper trail confirming their findings first. You're going to want some ground to stand on if you piss them off.
 
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Idk why this is such an issue unless the girl is still running around telling everyone at the school and e-mailing Huffpost about how OP supposedly assaulted her. If that's the situation then I'd get why OP would want the school to say something, otherwise OP sounds like they're making everything even more dramatic than it already is.
 
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I thought this was med school. As an undergraduate just put your head down and "pick your battles wisely". Yes from your info you were treated unfairly, but your institution is not going to let you publicly speak out about it in fear of litigation and public ridicule. Be VERY CAREFUL who you ask letters of rec from. You do not want this mentioned especially if they questioned your profs.
 
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