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is this a stupid thing to do? I'm miserable here.

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - MD' started by fourstar, Apr 23, 2004.

  1. fourstar

    fourstar Member
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    I just finished up two years at a four year public university.... and I'm frigging miserable here. I seriously want to move to a different state and just start everything over, I don't care what I leave behind at this place. I'm having no fun here, there's nothing going for me, everything in general is ****ty.

    I have a close friend in maryland that I want to move in with. I'm thinking of dropping out of this four year public university and enrolling in a two year community college near baltimore. I want to retake all my introductory classes that I got less than a B... and finish up the rest at the community college. After I do that, maybe I can transfer into a good university in maryland....


    is it worth being miserable here and trying to stick it out? I just want one more chance to make things work... and i'm tired of this place for various reasons.

    I don't think i can transfer into another university since my gpa is less than 3.0

    please offer some advice.

    One things that worries me is the financial situation... at this public school tuition is cheap and i'm on a scholarship and grants which pays for a lot of the tuition.... but i would get the same amount of grants for the community college right?

    I guess I have to go to school and get a part time job to support myself... anything is better than this place.
     
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  3. TRUE

    TRUE slacker extraordinaire
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    If your eventual goal is to enroll in medical school, I probably would buckle up and finish up where you are now. Retaking your classes at a community college won't prove too much to the ADCOM's. I would just start taking some higher level classes and kick butt in those. That right there is your second chance. You don't want to set yourself up for interviews where they can cut holes in your application by asking why you ran away from school and so forth. Stand up to your problems at the school and kick ass over your final two years.

    Of course, this is easy to say without knowing the specifics of your situation. "everything in general is ****ty" isn't a great help in understanding the problems behind your situation.

    Good luck though.
     
  4. fourstar

    fourstar Member
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    ... the reason I want to move away is not only because of my grades.... I know i can take higher level classes but like i said, I hate this place.

    I do want to enroll in a medical school eventually

    I have these problems that are on the back of my mind and i can't focus or study at all. I have no motivation or anything either, i just want to start things over. People might think "oh well if you're having problems there, what makes you think you won't have problems at the new school?" I have a friend who moved away and he is doing so much better.
    I'm thinking... enroll in the 2 year community college in maryland, retake some of the introductory courses, get A's in those.. get more requirements out of the way, transfer into a 4 year university, take higher level courses and if all goes well, I would be doing good in those too.
     
  5. Amy B

    Amy B I miss my son so much
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    Whoa, take a breath and don't do anything rash. Think this through. You will have to put down all your grades on your AMCAS application, so what would be the point in taking your classes over if you got less than a B. Those grades will be averaged together if you retake the classes.

    If you start over you will lose time and money. What is it about your situation that you don't like? Is it the location, your apartment, your friends, your classes or major or the professors????

    You have already given 2 years of your time there which means you are now 50% done.

    If you are thinking about trying to register as a new student verses a transfer student and then never telling AMCAS or the med schools that you went somewhere else.... i would highly advise against that. Schools somehow find out these things and you can get thrown out forever.

    Is there a professor that you are fond of that you could talk to about your situation? Is there anyone where you live now that you can pour your heart out to?

    There may not be any easy answers for you, but I hope you think things through very carfully. Good luck in your decision. Cheer up, there's always hope.

    Perhaps a year off from school would be the answer for you and then you could come back fresh and then show an uphill trend with your GPA and then the med schools would be a bit more understanding about your current GPA. Time away may do you good. Get a job and don't think about school for awhile.

    Good luck
     
  6. fourstar

    fourstar Member
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    thanks for the reply but I mean... even if I do stay here... i don't see much change. I don't see my grades getting any better or me trying harder, or any of the other problems disappearing. I feel so trapped here and I just want to get away. I need a breath of fresh air and I feel moving in with my best friend up north will remedy this problem but like they say the grass is always greener on the other side.. :scared:
     
  7. pekq

    pekq Gunner
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    You want to transfer to Baltimore? The school you go to must be really miserable. You can transfer and do a post bac then go to med school but it sounds cheaper for you to stay there and finish college.
     
  8. fourstar

    fourstar Member
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    but what? stay here.. being miserable, do mediocre on the rest of my courses.... end up with a useless degree and work my a$$ off doing post-bac and stay here extra years trying to raise my undergrad gpa? And maybe even go do a masters before applying to med schools?
     
  9. USbound

    USbound Junior Member
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    You have to understand that moving to a new place does not always solve the problem. Think about finding new friends, getting used to the new place etc. I am not trying to discourage you, but you have to think about the opportunities that you will have (career and otherwise). Is it a better university, are there hospitals, research centers you can work or volunteer at? I sympathize with your situation, since i was totally miserable in the midwest for many years and i didn't have a choice. But you know people stay against their desires for many reasons: job and family are usually most important ones.

    Good luck!
     
  10. TRUE

    TRUE slacker extraordinaire
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    I think the key is to do well where you are now. You've said that this isn't possible due to distractions and such. I think you need to buckle down and try to forget about that stuff. Those are experiences that make you stronger (and are good med. school interview material). You need to live through them, not run away from them. Again though, that's without knowing your full situation which you might not want to disclose on here for various reasons.

    However, I would still suggest you try to stay with it for another 2 years. Do really well, do well on the MCAT, and the post-bac won't be necessary and you can just go straight in to med. school. Don't put yourself down and think you can't overcome any of these obstacles you're facing now.
     
  11. brodaiga

    brodaiga Senior Member
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    what about taking some time off from school and doing volunteering, or whatever, get your breath of fresh air then come back and finish
     
  12. Angeliqua

    Angeliqua Senior Member
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    I'm sorry FourStar! You aren't giving many specifics, but the tone of your post sounds like you are completely miserable, I know how that can be. :(

    Remember that your health and happiness are a couple of the most important things you have and if either of those are being compromised than you should change something. You said that you just completed two years, does that mean that you are finished for the summer? Can you move to Baltimore for the summer, remain enrolled at your school and try to make this big decision in the coming months? Get away from that place for awhile and try to sort out exactly why you are miserable.

    Like others have said, don't do anything rash like withdraw from your school today - but relax, change your scenery and try to reasses your situation.

    I was also miserable and could not stand where I was going to school after my sophomore year (probably cause I had lived there for 20 years and was tired of it), but I did stick with it. I had a TON of family and friends around to support me, however and that helped a lot. When I moved away after graduating...I regretted it almost immediately, for reasons too numerous and boring to go into. But I did stick with staying where I had moved and have made the most of it. Now, I *cannot wait* to get back to the place I thought I never wanted to live again. In both of my times of "geographical misery" I kept my eyes on the goal (FYI this goal was not necessarily medical school, but rather happiness and being content with who I am/was) and took measures to change what I thought the problem was, without actually leaving. Examples: stopped dating someone, found a new place to live, started working out more, re-involved myself in a long-lost hobby, made new friends, etc.

    Sometimes it is easy to think that cutting all ties and disappearing from your "life" is the way to solve your problems - I have found in my life that smaller changes actually make the biggest difference.

    I am rambling now -feel free to PM me if you want some specifics or just want to chat. :)
     
  13. TwoLegacies

    TwoLegacies Senior Member
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    it sounds like you have already made up your mind to move, but if you are so sure, you wouldn't have posted this question.

    i personally went to college and disliked the first two years... i never seriously considered transferring because i wasn't sure it was the right solution. here was my solution: find what you are interested in. i wasted the first two years of my college career watching a lot of tv in my spare time. not very motivating. i eventually got into more active hobbies (volunteering, running, lots of stuff) and these days i feel a lot more fulfilled, even though i'm in the same place. it's been a year since i graduated, and i'm still here! i love it now.
    i also changed my major. what is it about your degree that you think will be worthless? do you feel like you won't get into med school? i was a bio major at first and was disappointed with my grades, as well as unmotivated because i didn't know what i wanted to do with the degree, and i hate physics and chem. so i changed to psychology. the classes were a lot more interesting. in hindsight, now that i have graduated in psych and am taking the rest of my pre-reqs at a community college, it may have been more prudent to just try harder in my classes. but at the time i didn't know i wanted to go to med school.
    which brings up another issue... do you really want to go to med school? if so, i've found that it's a great motivator to do well in classes when you have a goal that you really care about. now that i am planning on applying, it is much easier for me to get into studying. if you don't really know that you want to go, you might want to explore other options.
    i have a feeling that there may be an issue with the people you've met. no good friends? there are good people everywhere, you just have to find them. that brings you back to finding things to do that are interesting for you-- you tend to meet people who are interested in the same things. and having good relationships is really what being happy is about. you just have to try.
    all of that said, it's obvious that i think you should try harder to improve your situation. moving far away may not be the solution. if you feel that you've done all you can and you are still miserable, talk to a counselor. talk to anyone who you trust who knows your situation in more detail. THEN consider moving away.

    good luck
    :oops:
     
  14. ms. a

    ms. a Senior Member
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    I remember going through what was known at my school as the Sophomore Slump. Many others went through it, too. I was sick of where I was, totally unhappy and wondering if that's really what I wanted to be doing. The summer off after sophomore year was quite the breath of fresh air. So, you're not alone, a lot of people feel this was after almost 2 years. It's been a hard 2 years already, and it's hard to think of continuing with the same old stuff for another 2 years. If it's really bad, I would suggest taking a semester or so off, to collect yourself. For some reason, starting junior year was just a relief - finally you're more than halfway through. Even if you think you hate it too much to start again this fall, don'tmake that decision right now. Take the summer to relax, and towards the end of it, decide whether you need a little more time to yourself or if you are ready to go back. Making the move to Balitmore should be a very well-thought out decision, with a LOT of time put into it.
     
  15. skiz knot

    skiz knot Legendary Dr. X
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    I agree with the last post. fourstar has already made up her mind. She is just looking for someone to agree with her. Get a clue! nobody thinks what you propose is a good idea! How are you so sure you will be happier starting over. Maybe you just need time away from school, reapplying to the same school in a year. Sounds like you are frustrated.
     
  16. Spitting Camel

    Spitting Camel Anteater for Life!
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    You sound like you want validation for this, not that you want advice about it. It seems to me that you don't even want to try. You WANT to give up, you WANT everything to be miserable. What kind of attitude is "I don't see myself trying harder"? This sound like a personal/psychological conflict rather than having to do with your school.

    I hope you can work out these personal issues and only then see if you still feel like running away. Good Luck :luck:
     
  17. DrWuStar

    DrWuStar YUM
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    hmmm... you sound pretty unhappy. my heart goes out to you. if you are truly miserable, i don't think it would be stupid to leave. this is your life, not just some preface to med school. you should be enjoying it. i do agree with those folks who have said re-taking core classes at community college probably won't look too good when you do eventually apply to med school.

    you sound young (don't take that the wrong way - i don't mean anything negative or judgmental by it ;) ) people hit their stride at different times, and that 18-22 age is a great time to figure out what you want to do and what makes you happy. if you are truly as miserable as you say, maybe it would do you good to leave school and do something else for a while. that would give you some space to figure out WHY you are so miserable. maybe it is just the school you are at, but maybe it has more to do with general dissatisfaction with the path you are on right now. don't be scared to step off that path. you can always go back.

    plenty of people take the round-about road through college and to med school. plenty of those people are very successful once the time is right. if college isn't working for you right now - be it your particular college or college in general - maybe it is time to do something else. i am not an advocate of pushing yourself through something that doesn't feel right. to me, finishing college in four years just for the sake of sticking it out seems sillier than leaving and finding a way to make your life happier. don't feel like you always have to stick to the straight and narrow path.

    good luck with whatever you decide.
     
  18. TRUE

    TRUE slacker extraordinaire
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    Harsh, but I definitely see some truth to this. If everything around you is crummy, take a step back and see if there is something that YOU can do to help yourself. Look inside first, before you blame it on everyone else around you. I think you can do it though, but you have to make a concerted effort to analyze your situation and try to see where you're going wrong.
     
  19. dolce doc

    dolce doc Junior Member

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    I don't know what your problem is, but it seems to be something serious. I personally would try my best to solve the problem. But, I just wanted to let you know that my friend's cousin was passing through a similar situation. He dropped out of school, took some time off, and then restarted again as a freshman. He never mentioned to his new school or to AMCAS that he took classes in another college. Today, he is going to UCLA Medical School. I don't agree with what he did, but it worked out for him.
     
  20. dentate_gyrus

    dentate_gyrus Member
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    I just wanted to let you know that my friend's cousin was passing through a similar situation. He dropped out of school, took some time off, and then restarted again as a freshman. He never mentioned to his new school or to AMCAS that he took classes in another college. Today, he is going to UCLA Medical School. I don't agree with what he did, but it worked out for him.

    Most med schools will ask you to explain gaps in your education.
    Red flags go up if you don't have a solid explanation.
    Also, if federal loans or grants have already been accepted at the current university these will show up on the recipients federal student loan database; schools can check this unless you pay cash for med school. Sometimes this shows even if you have only been approved for a loan, but never accepted it. This database comes in handy when you are consolidating loans.
    Please don't jeapordize yourself by satisfying a short term urge.
    This student needs some time to mature and gain focus. I would take time off and work a no brainer job for awhile someplace nice. Hawaii, Costa Rica, etc.
     
  21. (nicedream)

    (nicedream) Fitter Happier
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    I agree with the suggestion that the best thing would be taking time off from school.
    I was miserable my first semester of college, so I left. The most important thing is to be happy, there's no reason to stay somewhere you hate. However, it's not a good idea to make an important decision like attending another school during a period when you're so confused and upset. It's better to take however much time off you need to sort things out and grow. I took time off, and during that time I grew more as a person than in any other time of my life, including college. Then I enrolled at another school that I've loved.
    However, if you do make the decision to go to school straight away in MD, are there other public universities there that would accept you other than comm colls? I know here in Fla. there's tons of public 4 yr's that will accept pretty much anybody.
     
  22. giggledesi

    giggledesi Senior Member
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    HI,
    I was miserable my first 2 years of school, and transferred to my 4 year state university. And I am much happier, i have brought my cum GPA up .3 and it was already above 3.0. So you never know, if it makes you happier... but i think you should try for a 4 year school, you never know you might get in!!! :thumbup: gluck!
     
  23. MzzMisty

    MzzMisty Member
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    Have you ever heard of the quote....The grass isn't always greener on the other side it's just different grass..
     

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