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Is this appropriate for a secondary essay?

xvndr

Full Member
2+ Year Member
Feb 17, 2017
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UNE-COM prompt: Tell about a time when you needed to put the interests of another ahead of your own.

My thoughts - I was class chair for my SMP program, and during the COVID pandemic, our first exams were pretty rocky. Because we had exams from home, one of our professors decided to decrease the time we had on our first exam and ~50% of the class could not finish the exam. Because I was the liaison between the class and the faculty, I was the one that had to relay concerns of the class to the professor. I was close with the professor, so it was difficult for me to basically tell her "hey, the class is upset with you, etc". Through my work, I was able to help our class and relay their concerns, and ultimately increase the time of the second exam. Obviously I'd write the essay a little more eloquently than this.

Is this appropriate to talk about in this secondary? Does it count as "putting the needs of others over myself"?

Thanks, everyone. Good luck with the cycle.
 
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8YearsLate

Sub Canus lupus familiaris
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Aug 28, 2017
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Okay, please take my response with a grain of salt because A) I am not an admitted applicant and B) Ironically, UNE is the only school that has rejected me (based on a technicality that I've already contested and have kind of let go by this point).

However, as a non-trad who wrote about having to spend the past 8 years dedicated to my child and needy family, in addition to the multiple jobs and clients I've had demanding my time since day 1, and volunteer work, etc....your statement looks a little weak, as-is. I would suggest REALLY tapping into the REASON it was a sacrifice, i.e. "I wanted a positive recommendation from this professor so bad, and was dripping sweat at the thought of telling them that the class was irate. I knew they'd associate my face with the complaint, and my recommendation might go up in flames." You need to paint a picture of how this was truly about you caring about your peers over yourself.

If you don't genuinely feel that way, find another example. We all have them. Sometimes it takes some quiet meditation to find one. It's not always comfortable. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Good luck!
 
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