is your family happy with your school of choice?

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - MD' started by TigerSoup, May 15, 2008.

  1. TigerSoup

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    Anyone else dealing with parents and other family members (or significant others/friends) who are constantly expressing disapproval about where you decided to go to medical school? I couldn't be happier with where I'm headed in the fall, but getting complaints from my mom and getting called an idiot by my brother every time I say the name of where I'm headed is dampening my spirits somewhat. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be able to change their minds, but I would like to know if any other people are facing the same BS. I would hope though that most families are actually happy for their kids and supportive of their choices etc. :thumbdown:

    The reasons for the disagreement, just as an aside, are the alleged safety of the area and its standing in the US News rankings. While I didn't get into many schools in amazing areas, the one that I'm deciding to go to definitely will require me to be more careful than I am used to (but part of that is just city life in general)... something that I've repeatedly acknowledged and planned for.
     
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  3. aaj117

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    To be honest, i was actually surprised with your choice of schools also. I'm not saying that i disagree with it, because i don't, but i definitely expected you to pick one of two other schools for rank and to avoid the snow. But the money helps.

    My parents were really disapproving of the HBCUs. While i was trying to make my decision they were constantly telling me how terrible howard was (even though they know nothing about medicine or medical school) and how ridiculous it was for me to still be considering them with the other acceptances i had, even though i felt much more comfortable at howard and morehouse than i did at many other schools. That was a big issue for me because i didn't want to let them influence my decision especially with such ridiculous reasoning, but when you have something repeatedly drilled into your head it's hard to ignore it.
     
  4. flip26

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    Did you turn down some big name programs for a lesser name?

    Regardless, unless they have gone through this process themselves (and have done it in the last couple of years) they have no right to criticize.

    If parents, though, are they still contributing financially? I still don't think they know what's best, but sometimes this is sticky...
     
  5. TigerSoup

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    I'm picking a full ride at Pritzker over no particular finaid packages at WashU and JHU. The scholarship is nice and all, but honestly I think I would be so much happier at UChicago than those other two schools, I really feel deep in my core that this is the best and only way to go.

    The FAFSA expected family contribution is about 10k/year for my family, and they'd probably give way beyond that if I said I wanted to go to WashU and JHU (my parents don't spend much on themselves and have intended the majority of their savings to go towards paying my siblings and I through our extensive educations). I'm also the first and only person in my family to go to medical school, so no one else has done any real research into what factors should be important.
     
  6. PlayMeSomeMusic

    PlayMeSomeMusic Always waiting...
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    I am so glad you brought this up. I have had the same thing happening for months although my parents do it on the sly. For example, you know if you stayed close you could always drop the dog (my dog technically) off at home during tests etc. or you know gas is expensive staying closer would save money. They (and me too I think) always knew whered I'd go despite their trying to convince me otherwise. It comes down to,for me, where I think I'll be more happy and really the only person that knows that is me.
     
  7. aaj117

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    Oh and i forgot to mention my family is very very happy that i've chosen stony brook although they'd prefer me to go to sinai if i get off the waitlist (as would i). I think that their enjoyment of me being close will change once i'm actually living close; i think the only reason we've started getting along in the past two years is the large buffer between us.
     
  8. flip26

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    Money alone makes your choice a winner as far as I am concerned. Parents and sibs mean well, but they are more prone to "sound bite" rankings and the like.

    Chicago is great, too. Best of the big cities, hands down.

    From what I understand, if I had been in your shoes, I would have made the same pick.
     
  9. letitgo

    letitgo Junior Member

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    TigerSoup, I think you should always go with your gut. I also got into WashU and JHU, and turned them down (no full ride to UChicago, though - they rejected me without an interview and I'm still upset about it). I had personal reasons for wanting to go there, that no longer really exist, but I know a lot about the school and I think it's a great place. Hyde Park is scary, I'm not going to lie, but Chicago is an incredible city that you'll have plenty of time to explore. My former, ahem, "connection" to the school is very happy there, and I knew a lot of his classmates. They all seemed really cool. Just be happy and don't look back!

    Maybe I'll see you at Reunions? I'm a Tiger, too. :)
     
  10. LovelyMD

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    I understand where you're coming from-- the school I chose is ranked below two other schools that accepted me, and it took some time for my fam to get used to the idea of me going there over the other two. As much as I tried to get myself to like the other two more than Columbia, I just knew that P&S was the right place for me... not to mention the fact that P&S also offered me the best financial aid package. My fam was all about the US News rankings and the Harvard name. I am the first person in my fam to get a college degree, let alone a medical degree, so they really don't have any clue about the differences between the programs. But Columbia had their Parents Day recently, and I think that helped a lot in swaying their opinion. Now they're as excited about P&S as I am.

    Your family means well, but remember that YOU are ultimately the one that has to attend the school. As long as you are happy with your choice, you're golden :)
     
  11. TigerSoup

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    Woo! Yup, I'll be there, and I'm counting down the days until I can bust out my beer jacket. And yeah, I am still upset at the entire state of California (and I think I will continue to be as I freeze to death in Chicago, assuming that Hyde Park does not get me killed before winter hits).

    07! 07! 07!
     
  12. aaj117

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    Two weeks from right this very moment, i will be in the car headed to reunions!!!! eeee i'm so excited. 07! 07! 07!
     
  13. MsJLewis

    MsJLewis Retired Pre-med

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    I don't think you're wrong in going to UChicago. Chicago is very nice. I almost ended up in Chicago... until I realized I loved NY too much!

    I went with the money too. Debt is not something to take lightly. A year ago I would have killed to have gotten into a UC. Since I'm OOS it certainly seemed impossible. But I ended up getting into Drew/UCLA, UCLA and UCSF.. all of which gave me dismal financial aid. So instead I'm heading to Columbia (a school I loved) where they apparently have money growing on trees! :)

    Don't worry, you're family will stop all this mess when you finally graduate and want to call you to diagnose every ache and pain they have!
     
  14. neurofreak

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    TigerSoup...I'm glad you made the choice to come to Pritzker...because now we get to be classmates :D:D:D:D:D:D:D
     
  15. medgrlsox21

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    Yeah seriously the money is worth it, not having hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt means sweet presents for your family earlier (hint at this). I chose to go where my family wanted, but that was based on gas prices and my sister finally being pregnant and asking me not to leave. I gave up where I really wanted to go but medical school is medical school, we're all really lucky to HAVE someplace and multiple places at that. Plus now I guilted my parents into helping me get a place thats ridiculous ;)
     
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  17. xcgirl

    xcgirl Psych

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    I totally understand your pain. I'm picking a better school that's further away (2 hours on a plane) over a closer, slightly cheaper school. My dad understands/supports my decision, but my mom keeps making snide comments about my leaving and clearly doesn't understand the benefits of my attending Vanderbilt over RWJ.
    It's really frustrating. I feel like our families should be happy and excited about our decisions, but those little comments really get to me.
     
  18. Textuality

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    Heh, I guess I have it easy, my parents are pretty ecstatic about Penn. Although..my mom's just now realizing that it's not the safest place in the world..yeah...she's not thrilled about that, I think she's planning on buying me some pepper spray and a tazor..
     
  19. Weoh

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    1. You got the full ride,
    2. It's at the school where you're happiest out of those 3

    You've made the right decision.
     
  20. aaj117

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    you can have the mace jimmy gave me when i move out of the hellhole that is now my neighborhood.
     
  21. TheRealMD

    TheRealMD "The Mac Guy"

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    90% of parents have a superiority complex when it comes to their kids. Because you got into a better school, they feel they did a better job. Sadly, some schools are a lot easier to defend than other (those giving you a full scholarship!).

    But in the end, you must make it clear that you are picking X school based on what is best for you, not them.
     
  22. I would honestly hope that parents would generally be HAPPY their son/daughter made it into A medical school. I do realize there is hope that their child(ren) could attend a somewhat prestigious school but if you are an average student who is not getting acceptances to pritz/washu/jhu there should be nothing but support no matter what. I feel some pressure from my grandpa (retired O.D.) to go to allopathic school rather than osteopathic because "MD are very powerful letters". It's expected for him to feel that way...because when he was growing up there were very few DOs in practice and there were major stereotypes - and he's old. I hope nobody else is going through this as well. I plan on going where I get in, not based on what my extended family wants, and my #1 choice is a DO school.
     
  23. Depakote

    Depakote Pediatric Anesthesiologist
    Rocket Scientist Physician Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor Classifieds Approved

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    You really lay it out right there in that first paragraph. You are the one that is going to medical school (and the one that would be paying for it). You should be happy with the decision. Don't let anyone else try to talk you into going somewhere else just because they recognize that name a little more.
     

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