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- Jul 3, 2006
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I've never paid very much attention to the size my hands -- mostly because while they ARE a bit small, they are by no means tiny.
Until, that is today.
My intern and I went into a patient's room to do a prostate exam. Now, you have to realize -- on our medicine service, it's really intense and interns get smashed with work, so med students are largely overlooked. I wasn't expecting to do anything except maybe hold a butt cheek or so, you know?
After we explained to the patient why we needed to do a prostate exam, he flat out said no. After much cajoling, he looked at us both back and forth, pointed at me, and said, "I want HIM to do the exam."
After recovering from the shock of being asked to do ANYTHING, I realized I couldn't make up my mind whether to be excited to get to do something finally, or feeling screwed over because now I get to push my hand into the rectum of a 300lb patient.
Needless to say, the procedure wasn't pleasant. Sometimes I've wondered how morbidly obese people wipe their butts clean. Now I know -- they can't. There was little dried dollops of poop on rectal hairs everywhere. I felt like I was navigating a minefield. There was so much buttcheek that by the time I could work my index finger in, it looked like my wrist was completely gone.
Afterwards, the intern curiously asked the patient, "so why did you ask crimsonkid to do the exam?"
The patient looked at me, deadpan, and said, "are you kidding? he had the smallest fingers."
Until, that is today.
My intern and I went into a patient's room to do a prostate exam. Now, you have to realize -- on our medicine service, it's really intense and interns get smashed with work, so med students are largely overlooked. I wasn't expecting to do anything except maybe hold a butt cheek or so, you know?
After we explained to the patient why we needed to do a prostate exam, he flat out said no. After much cajoling, he looked at us both back and forth, pointed at me, and said, "I want HIM to do the exam."
After recovering from the shock of being asked to do ANYTHING, I realized I couldn't make up my mind whether to be excited to get to do something finally, or feeling screwed over because now I get to push my hand into the rectum of a 300lb patient.
Needless to say, the procedure wasn't pleasant. Sometimes I've wondered how morbidly obese people wipe their butts clean. Now I know -- they can't. There was little dried dollops of poop on rectal hairs everywhere. I felt like I was navigating a minefield. There was so much buttcheek that by the time I could work my index finger in, it looked like my wrist was completely gone.
Afterwards, the intern curiously asked the patient, "so why did you ask crimsonkid to do the exam?"
The patient looked at me, deadpan, and said, "are you kidding? he had the smallest fingers."