Feb 21, 2012
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Okay. Pictures this profile:

Medical student graduating with:

- gpa 4.0
- Great job intern years
- Friendly
- Good with patients
- Smart

(I'm guessing a high score in the USA because in Europe where I live we use a different system with grades going 1-10 and from 8 onwards a student is considered (very) smart, the 8 is around the 3,7 gpa in USA terms).

Would hospitals refuse to employ said medical student for training into a speciality like internal medicine/oncology/pediatrics because of his height? I'm 5 foot 6 and I'm very afraid that my chances of ever making it into a good career will be blocked by this thing I can't help (my height). It seems so irrational that such a thing will happen, but I just can't get it off of my mind.

I read this and that about more height = more salary. I'm not getting into medicine for the money, but if someone else makes more money than me (a physician in this case) just because he is 6 foot tall, that would hurt me.

Am I just being crazy over here?

Let's say you could pick between 2 people with the same profile, just one is 5 foot 6 and the other 6 foot tall. I would base my choice after talking to the both of them and seeing what kind of person they are, but I hear a lot of the times they will just pick the taller one. Does this also apply to a noble field like medicine? I'm a male btw.

Also I'm afraid that nurses/doctor colleges will boss me around later because of my confidence issues.
 

Heimskringla

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Jan 17, 2011
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I don't know what country you're from, but the bias against short people in the United States is not strong enough to prevent you from probably getting a residency. The average height for males in the U.S. is around 5'10". You're not significantly shorter than that.

Nurses can be bossy whether you're tall or short. They don't care whether you're a physician, a respiratory therapist, or a dietitian. They know more than you and they'll unleash an administrative hell upon you the likes of which you've never seen if they don't get their way.

You have to develop confidence to be a physician. It's not an option. If I, as an experienced allied health provider, have to call you it's because I've reached the limits of my scope of practice and professional competence. If you aren't confident in your ability to make the appropriate clinical decision, you're not going to earn the trust of those around you, whatever their professional role.
 

alpinism

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Nov 6, 2011
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Okay. Pictures this profile:

Medical student graduating with:

- gpa 4.0
- Great job intern years
- Friendly
- Good with patients
- Smart

(I'm guessing a high score in the USA because in Europe where I live we use a different system with grades going 1-10 and from 8 onwards a student is considered (very) smart, the 8 is around the 3,7 gpa in USA terms).

Would hospitals refuse to employ said medical student for training into a speciality like internal medicine/oncology/pediatrics because of his height? I'm 5 foot 6 and I'm very afraid that my chances of ever making it into a good career will be blocked by this thing I can't help (my height). It seems so irrational that such a thing will happen, but I just can't get it off of my mind.

I read this and that about more height = more salary. I'm not getting into medicine for the money, but if someone else makes more money than me (a physician in this case) just because he is 6 foot tall, that would hurt me.

Am I just being crazy over here?

Let's say you could pick between 2 people with the same profile, just one is 5 foot 6 and the other 6 foot tall. I would base my choice after talking to the both of them and seeing what kind of person they are, but I hear a lot of the times they will just pick the taller one. Does this also apply to a noble field like medicine? I'm a male btw.

Also I'm afraid that nurses/doctor colleges will boss me around later because of my confidence issues.
Yes.

5'6 isn't even that short. At least you don't have achondroplasia.
 

CDI

Senior Member
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Dec 15, 2006
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Pocket docs are the new craze.

Who needs Noctors when you can have Poctors.
 

futuredoc331

SDN Bronze Donor
Bronze Donor
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Apr 28, 2012
557
138
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You're just driving yourself crazy over nothing.

The numbers regarding salary and height are based very highly on unconscious stereotypes and not really conscious prejudices.

They say that taller people are considered more beautiful and beautiful people get paid better, but I wouldn't place too much weight on that.
 

MedWonk

高飛車
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May 13, 2010
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Probably not. There's a couple doctors where I work that are about that height. I never even thought of height as being a factor, though I have noted that every EM doctor I work is tall. I'm one of the shortest people there at 6 feet. It's crazy.
 
Nov 30, 2013
323
206
Status
Medical Student
You're not short. I'm 5'6" (female) and I find myself towering over people constantly, especially in Danskos.
 

Kaustikos

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Jan 18, 2008
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Though statistics argue that taller people tend to be more successful, it doesn't mean short people can't be successful either. Internal Medicine isn't even that competitive of a field... now if you were doing Surgery, that might be a problem if they don't have steps for you to use to operate. Those beds only go so low... :lol:
 

Goro

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Jun 10, 2010
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Nope. I've had students who were about 4' 6" tall...about the size of one of my children. And they had to be able to perform OMT.

So for medical school, wait for it...size DOESN'T matter.

Okay. Pictures this profile:

Medical student graduating with:

- gpa 4.0
- Great job intern years
- Friendly
- Good with patients
- Smart

(I'm guessing a high score in the USA because in Europe where I live we use a different system with grades going 1-10 and from 8 onwards a student is considered (very) smart, the 8 is around the 3,7 gpa in USA terms).

Would hospitals refuse to employ said medical student for training into a speciality like internal medicine/oncology/pediatrics because of his height? I'm 5 foot 6 and I'm very afraid that my chances of ever making it into a good career will be blocked by this thing I can't help (my height). It seems so irrational that such a thing will happen, but I just can't get it off of my mind.

I read this and that about more height = more salary. I'm not getting into medicine for the money, but if someone else makes more money than me (a physician in this case) just because he is 6 foot tall, that would hurt me.

Am I just being crazy over here?

Let's say you could pick between 2 people with the same profile, just one is 5 foot 6 and the other 6 foot tall. I would base my choice after talking to the both of them and seeing what kind of person they are, but I hear a lot of the times they will just pick the taller one. Does this also apply to a noble field like medicine? I'm a male btw.

Also I'm afraid that nurses/doctor colleges will boss me around later because of my confidence issues.
 
Jul 13, 2011
200
30
Status
Pre-Medical
There was a Pediatrician who was a part of my son's team when he was in the hospital. The man was shorter than I am and I am just under 5'4".
 

Jewels86

5+ Year Member
Apr 7, 2013
198
65
Texas
Status
Pre-Medical
Nurses can be bossy whether you're tall or short. They don't care whether you're a physician, a respiratory therapist, or a dietitian. They know more than you and they'll unleash an administrative hell upon you the likes of which you've never seen if they don't get their way.

You have to develop confidence to be a physician. It's not an option. If I, as an experienced allied health provider, have to call you it's because I've reached the limits of my scope of practice and professional competence. If you aren't confident in your ability to make the appropriate clinical decision, you're not going to earn the trust of those around you, whatever their professional role.
I am a nurse (ER) and my SBAR's are "off the chain"!! I have docs actually pleased when I have their patients. BUT...I'm not bossy. If I need something to be addressed, I'm to the point, have the facts (abnormal labs, updated vitals and subjective/objective assessments) and present them to the physician.

Yes, you have to develop confidence but that comes with time. Please, we know when you're not sure; just say so. No one will write bad things on the bathroom walls if you say, "You need to consult so-and-so first" or you look at your cheater sheet. We're all human.

Yes, there are some nurse's that will get hateful but think about this...they're probably hateful people. I've had my issues with the hateful; I had one hang up on me while giving her report on a pt that was to be hers. Be thankful you don't go home with the that.

Be cool!! :)
 
OP
R
Feb 21, 2012
77
5
Status
Pre-Medical
Thanks all! I'm glad all this trivial bs (such as height) doesn't matter much in medicine. I'm not going to become a surgeon, or at least I'm fairly sure. You never know. I just don't want to be 'messed' with by other docs or nurses. I'm a nice person and kind. At this gig I had to do for medical school admission (I hope to get in next year) there was this short woman who used my kindness against me and let me do all the chores while she laid back and did little. Mind you, she was getting paid, I did not.

I am a nurse (ER) and my SBAR's are "off the chain"!! I have docs actually pleased when I have their patients. BUT...I'm not bossy. If I need something to be addressed, I'm to the point, have the facts (abnormal labs, updated vitals and subjective/objective assessments) and present them to the physician.

Yes, you have to develop confidence but that comes with time. Please, we know when you're not sure; just say so. No one will write bad things on the bathroom walls if you say, "You need to consult so-and-so first" or you look at your cheater sheet. We're all human.

Yes, there are some nurse's that will get hateful but think about this...they're probably hateful people. I've had my issues with the hateful; I had one hang up on me while giving her report on a pt that was to be hers. Be thankful you don't go home with the that.

Be cool!! :)
Your post was very helpfull, thx.

I have respect for most people. I hate douches and people who love themselves too much. The thing is, I already know that I'm going to be 'too' nice to people. Let's say I have had a 20 hour shift, a nurse who started an hour ago asks me to do so and so just when I'm about to leave. Let's say officialy I could go home, but out of moral obligation I just go do it. But that's not cool. I'll go insane doing those things. The nurse could be switched with a doctor whatever, just a person.

I also am unsure how to ask nurses to do stuff. I don't want to sound arrogant and bossy. If 10 patients need the same medication now, I want to be able to aska nurse to do that. So like 'Nurse, could you give those ten patients medicine x and medicine y in ten minutes'. I''m afraid my voice will sound cracked and sh1t like that when asking something like that. Then the nurse or doctor (maybe an intern!) will get ideas for future interactions. I want to be hard when needed and not worry about losing my job.

God I hope I lose this stupid confidence issues before I start medical school.
 
Nov 30, 2013
323
206
Status
Medical Student
Thanks all! I'm glad all this trivial bs (such as height) doesn't matter much in medicine. I'm not going to become a surgeon, or at least I'm fairly sure. You never know. I just don't want to be 'messed' with by other docs or nurses. I'm a nice person and kind. At this gig I had to do for medical school admission (I hope to get in next year) there was this short woman who used my kindness against me and let me do all the chores while she laid back and did little. Mind you, she was getting paid, I did not.



Your post was very helpfull, thx.

I have respect for most people. I hate douches and people who love themselves too much. The thing is, I already know that I'm going to be 'too' nice to people. Let's say I have had a 20 hour shift, a nurse who started an hour ago asks me to do so and so just when I'm about to leave. Let's say officialy I could go home, but out of moral obligation I just go do it. But that's not cool. I'll go insane doing those things. The nurse could be switched with a doctor whatever, just a person.

I also am unsure how to ask nurses to do stuff. I don't want to sound arrogant and bossy. If 10 patients need the same medication now, I want to be able to aska nurse to do that. So like 'Nurse, could you give those ten patients medicine x and medicine y in ten minutes'. I''m afraid my voice will sound cracked and sh1t like that when asking something like that. Then the nurse or doctor (maybe an intern!) will get ideas for future interactions. I want to be hard when needed and not worry about losing my job.

God I hope I lose this stupid confidence issues before I start medical school.
You're over thinking things.
 
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Jewels86

5+ Year Member
Apr 7, 2013
198
65
Texas
Status
Pre-Medical
Thanks all! I'm glad all this trivial bs (such as height) doesn't matter much in medicine. I'm not going to become a surgeon, or at least I'm fairly sure. You never know. I just don't want to be 'messed' with by other docs or nurses. I'm a nice person and kind. At this gig I had to do for medical school admission (I hope to get in next year) there was this short woman who used my kindness against me and let me do all the chores while she laid back and did little. Mind you, she was getting paid, I did not.



Your post was very helpfull, thx.

I have respect for most people. I hate douches and people who love themselves too much. The thing is, I already know that I'm going to be 'too' nice to people. Let's say I have had a 20 hour shift, a nurse who started an hour ago asks me to do so and so just when I'm about to leave. Let's say officialy I could go home, but out of moral obligation I just go do it. But that's not cool. I'll go insane doing those things. The nurse could be switched with a doctor whatever, just a person.

I also am unsure how to ask nurses to do stuff. I don't want to sound arrogant and bossy. If 10 patients need the same medication now, I want to be able to aska nurse to do that. So like 'Nurse, could you give those ten patients medicine x and medicine y in ten minutes'. I''m afraid my voice will sound cracked and sh1t like that when asking something like that. Then the nurse or doctor (maybe an intern!) will get ideas for future interactions. I want to be hard when needed and not worry about losing my job.

God I hope I lose this stupid confidence issues before I start medical school.
One, I too don't particularly care for "douches" either. You'll never be too nice. I agree if you had a 20 hour shift that you should go home. You do need to voice that and if she's a stinker about it, tell their charge nurse or tell that nurse to call Dr. so-and-so and go home (unless it's not too critical).

Two, if you have 10 meds that need to go to 10 pts, that won't happen asap. However, if one is critical, Cardene drip, nitro drip, insulin drip for DKA, yes, that one gets the priority. BUT...if they need their BP pills, Lasix, etc), stuff these people already take at home, that can wait. My worries (I'm in the ED so it's a different world on the floors) would be the sugar before giving insulin before dietary drops off their meal.

Three, if you haven't started med school, what's your worry?? You'll be fine. We know you're new. I work with a sweet doc that just finished his residency. He's very polite, respectable and nice. I also work with a doc that'd rather be doing something else that can be a total jerk; that one I need to be straight to the point because I really don't want to interact with him.

So...you'll be fine. Be nice, don't except your nurse to do something NOW because you said it (unless it's critical then yes, you have the right to get fussy); be good with saying, "I'll check and get back with you" and if that nurse is still hateful, go to their charge.
 
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QofQuimica

Seriously, dude, I think you're overreacting....
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I'm shorter than 5'6" and female to boot. I've rarely had an issue with getting nurses to take orders, even though people will claim all the time that nurses tend to not want to follow orders from female physicians. Forget about your height. Your focus for the next 7+ years (assuming you do med school + internal med residency) should be to provide the best possible care to your patients while learning as much medicine as you can. Keep refocusing yourself on these goals as often as necessary over the next seven years.

As for relating to colleagues, the key is to think of them as colleagues. Your nurse colleagues in particular will often have much more practical experience than you do, particularly when you're a new resident. Even now when I'm the senior resident, if an experienced nurse comes up to me and says, "Hey Q, you need to see Mr. X right now and write me an order for drug Y for him," I'm going to hustle my butt to Mr. X's room to see what's up, even if Mr. X seemed just fine to me the last time I saw him. On the other side, if I write an order for drug Z instead of drug Y that the nurse wanted, and he or she balks at that, then we have an opportunity for me to (respectfully) educate the nurse on why Drug Z is actually a better choice. Because as good as experienced nurses are, they have comfort zones just like the rest of us do, and if something I order takes the nurse outside their comfort zone, is it really surprising that they're going to question me on it? Usually a simple explanation of my reasoning is all that is necessary to get the nurse's buy-in. Also, make the time and effort to learn your coworkers' names and tell them yours. You'll be amazed at how far that goes with smoothing your relations with your support staff.

Dealing with fellow residents who have Axis II personality disorders is a whole 'nother topic, but in general, the way to deal with these types of people (whether they're patients or coworkers) is to set firm limits and stick to them. Coworkers get to take advantage of me once. After that, the party is over. You'll develop your own style for dealing with difficult patients. My advice is to be empathetic with them, but again, keep firm boundaries.
 

Nasrudin

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I'm sorry but...if you're under 6 feet you're short. And as such. I can't really hear you. It's just a bunch of tiny mumbles coming from somewhere low. In which case, what's the purpose of living.
 
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QofQuimica

Seriously, dude, I think you're overreacting....
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I'm sorry but...if you're under 6 feet you're short. And as such. I can't really hear you. It's just a bunch of tiny mumbles coming from somewhere low. In which case, what's the purpose of living.
Couldn't help thinking of this song. :laugh:

 

Nasrudin

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Hahaha. Me too. His guest appearance on the muppet show was one of my all time faves.
 

QofQuimica

Seriously, dude, I think you're overreacting....
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Hahaha. Me too. His guest appearance on the muppet show was one of my all time faves.
I don't know if I should be worried when you and I think alike.... :p

Sorry for the slight detour I've steered your thread onto, OP. I promise I'll stop now, and please see my first post above for a serious answer.
 
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OP
R
Feb 21, 2012
77
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One, I too don't particularly care for "douches" either. You'll never be too nice. I agree if you had a 20 hour shift that you should go home. You do need to voice that and if she's a stinker about it, tell their charge nurse or tell that nurse to call Dr. so-and-so and go home (unless it's not too critical).

Two, if you have 10 meds that need to go to 10 pts, that won't happen asap. However, if one is critical, Cardene drip, nitro drip, insulin drip for DKA, yes, that one gets the priority. BUT...if they need their BP pills, Lasix, etc), stuff these people already take at home, that can wait. My worries (I'm in the ED so it's a different world on the floors) would be the sugar before giving insulin before dietary drops off their meal.

Three, if you haven't started med school, what's your worry?? You'll be fine. We know you're new. I work with a sweet doc that just finished his residency. He's very polite, respectable and nice. I also work with a doc that'd rather be doing something else that can be a total jerk; that one I need to be straight to the point because I really don't want to interact with him.

So...you'll be fine. Be nice, don't except your nurse to do something NOW because you said it (unless it's critical then yes, you have the right to get fussy); be good with saying, "I'll check and get back with you" and if that nurse is still hateful, go to their charge.
Well I don't mind about the non-critical pills, but let's say I asked pills to be given and a nurse says she will do it. I check in an hour and still nothing. I think 'not a priority, she will give it before I leave'. Then five hours later still no non-critical pills given. That would upset me.

I'm shorter than 5'6" and female to boot. I've rarely had an issue with getting nurses to take orders, even though people will claim all the time that nurses tend to not want to follow orders from female physicians. Forget about your height. Your focus for the next 7+ years (assuming you do med school + internal med residency) should be to provide the best possible care to your patients while learning as much medicine as you can. Keep refocusing yourself on these goals as often as necessary over the next seven years.

As for relating to colleagues, the key is to think of them as colleagues. Your nurse colleagues in particular will often have much more practical experience than you do, particularly when you're a new resident. Even now when I'm the senior resident, if an experienced nurse comes up to me and says, "Hey Q, you need to see Mr. X right now and write me an order for drug Y for him," I'm going to hustle my butt to Mr. X's room to see what's up, even if Mr. X seemed just fine to me the last time I saw him. On the other side, if I write an order for drug Z instead of drug Y that the nurse wanted, and he or she balks at that, then we have an opportunity for me to (respectfully) educate the nurse on why Drug Z is actually a better choice. Because as good as experienced nurses are, they have comfort zones just like the rest of us do, and if something I order takes the nurse outside their comfort zone, is it really surprising that they're going to question me on it? Usually a simple explanation of my reasoning is all that is necessary to get the nurse's buy-in. Also, make the time and effort to learn your coworkers' names and tell them yours. You'll be amazed at how far that goes with smoothing your relations with your support staff.

Dealing with fellow residents who have Axis II personality disorders is a whole 'nother topic, but in general, the way to deal with these types of people (whether they're patients or coworkers) is to set firm limits and stick to them. Coworkers get to take advantage of me once. After that, the party is over. You'll develop your own style for dealing with difficult patients. My advice is to be empathetic with them, but again, keep firm boundaries.
Definitely. I want to study and give my life to medicine so I can treat my patients to the best of my ability. It would just irk me if something that I have no control over dictates the way I feel and in return how well I could treat my patients. Like other people piling loads of paper work on me so I wouldn't be able to treat patients. That would upset me as well.

About co-workers......Uhm I could just say 'I won't do it'. They can't force me right? But what if they complain to the head resident or something. I tend to cry when I feel that I can't do anything about anything, the feeling of being powerless.....It's not crying, it's more me getting emotion and tears coming, and my throat throbbing. I'm highly sensitive in that regard.

I want to be able to tell the head resident 'well, this and that, I've done it before and I feel like he's dumping his workload on me while it is his responsiblity'.

Besides, how could they complain when asking me to do stuff when they aren't in a position to do so? I mean, a co resident isn't the head resident. So if I say no, what's the worst that could happen?

I'm sorry but...if you're under 6 feet you're short. And as such. I can't really hear you. It's just a bunch of tiny mumbles coming from somewhere low. In which case, what's the purpose of living.
I'm wondering whether to say 'meh' or call you an @sshole.
 

Nasrudin

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Sack up my friend. Learn some jiu jitsu and know for certain you could choke me out before I could squeak out my next pompous joke at your expense. You need thick skin. Not just in medicine but in life. Napolen Bonaparte conquered the whole of Europe at 5 nothing. You could do the same thing in the this field with the power of your mind and heart.

But not while being squeamish and brittle about some jokes.
 
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QofQuimica

Seriously, dude, I think you're overreacting....
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Well I don't mind about the non-critical pills, but let's say I asked pills to be given and a nurse says she will do it. I check in an hour and still nothing. I think 'not a priority, she will give it before I leave'. Then five hours later still no non-critical pills given. That would upset me.
It helps if you let the nurse know when an order is critical just like it helps you when the nurse tells you that something needs to be done by you right away. So if you give a nurse ten orders, tell them which one is the highest priority. Something like, "Sorry to lay all of these things down on you at once. Would you mind giving Mr. X his meds first? He's the sickest patient, so I'd like to make sure he gets them right away," works fine. Alternatively, if there are multiple critical orders, I'm not above going to a second nurse and telling them that the nurse I just gave ten orders to is overwhelmed at the moment; would they mind helping the first one get the work done quickly? And make sure to tell the second nurse what the second most critical order to get done is. Most nurses are pretty good about covering for each other and helping each other out that way when there's a sick patient to deal with.

For noncritical orders, there's nothing wrong with checking with the nurse to make sure s/he has done them. Nurses get busy like everyone else, and sometimes things do get accidentally overlooked. Just frame it in a non-confrontational way. You could say, "I just wanted to make sure you saw that I ordered some Tylenol for Mr. X's fever. I'm about to sign him out to the next resident, so I wanted to make sure that gets done before I go."

Definitely. I want to study and give my life to medicine so I can treat my patients to the best of my ability. It would just irk me if something that I have no control over dictates the way I feel and in return how well I could treat my patients. Like other people piling loads of paper work on me so I wouldn't be able to treat patients. That would upset me as well.
That will happen to you because it happens to all of us. You have to find a way to deal with the paperwork. Sorry.

About co-workers......Uhm I could just say 'I won't do it'. They can't force me right? But what if they complain to the head resident or something. I tend to cry when I feel that I can't do anything about anything, the feeling of being powerless.....It's not crying, it's more me getting emotion and tears coming, and my throat throbbing. I'm highly sensitive in that regard.
Do your best to avoid crying because a coworker is being mean to you. It's bad enough when a woman does it, and ten times worse when a guy does it.

I want to be able to tell the head resident 'well, this and that, I've done it before and I feel like he's dumping his workload on me while it is his responsiblity'.
Going to the chief is rarely a useful option. The chiefs already have more work than the rest of the residents do, and they don't want to deal with you and your interpersonal problems. So if you go to them, they may take it out on you, because you're creating a new problem/more work for them.

Besides, how could they complain when asking me to do stuff when they aren't in a position to do so? I mean, a co resident isn't the head resident. So if I say no, what's the worst that could happen?
Direct confrontation with your fellow residents is rarely helpful either. It may also backfire against you if you get a rep of not being a team player or unprofessional. You're better off being passive aggressive than overtly aggressive, especially if you're having a conflict with someone above you in the hierarchy. Alternatively, try avoiding toxic people as much as possible and limit your interaction with them to strictly work business. I unfortunately have to do that with one of my co-residents, who is a huge a**hat and proud of it.

I'm wondering whether to say 'meh' or call you an @sshole.
Relax. You're new around here, so you obviously don't know Nas and his whacked sense of humor yet. He's just kidding.
 
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OP
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Sack up my friend. Learn some jiu jitsu and know for certain you could choke me out before I could squeak out my next pompous joke at your expense. You need thick skin. Not just in medicine but in life. Napolen Bonaparte conquered the whole of Europe at 5 nothing. You could do the same thing in the this field with the power of your mind and heart.

But not while being squeamish and brittle about some jokes.
Are you high? I'm a scholar. Scholars don't hit someone for saying something verbally. Well, it depends on the exact words, but I wouldn't hit someone for making a short joke. Not that I could fight; I'm not the aggresive type. When sparring I can go all out without getting emotional though. I don't know what it is, but getting hurt during sparring seems not a problem to me because it's 'normal'. With hurt I mean maybe a bruise or whatever.

Although the idea of doing jiu jitsu has crossed my mind. I did boxing for a while, but got tired of my head getting pummeled in during sparring. I have back issues, so jiu jitsu might not be it for me.
 
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Do your best to avoid crying because a coworker is being mean to you. It's bad enough when a woman does it, and ten times worse when a guy does it.
So it means, if I feel the emotions piling up, I can just take a breather, head to the closest bathroom and hit the wall a few dozen times to get it out of my system? That sometimes calms me down.

And I know; it's horrible. When a women cries, no one really thinks negative of them........Seriously, just ask about any guy. But when a guy does it; an all new low. I've fallen to that all new low many times, so it's fair to say I don't have any manlyness in me. I'm seeing a psych about this crap, so hopefully there is a solution to this feeling of having no power.
 

QofQuimica

Seriously, dude, I think you're overreacting....
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So it means, if I feel the emotions piling up, I can just take a breather, head to the closest bathroom and hit the wall a few dozen times to get it out of my system? That sometimes calms me down.

And I know; it's horrible. When a women cries, no one really thinks negative of them........Seriously, just ask about any guy. But when A guy does it; an all new low. I've fallen to that all new low many times, so it's fair to say I don't have any manlyness in me. I'm seeing a psych about this crap, so hopefully there is a solution to this feeling of having no power.
Yes. I've gone into an empty stairwell or bathroom myself a few times when I felt like I was about to lose it. Do whatever you have to do to maintain control of your temper, because it is not acceptable behavior for you to have a public meltdown or go off on a coworker, particularly in a public area where it could be overheard by patients, families, and staff.
 
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Yes. I've gone into an empty stairwell or bathroom myself a few times when I felt like I was about to lose it. Do whatever you have to do to maintain control of your temper, because it is not acceptable behavior for you to have a public meltdown or go off on a coworker, particularly in a public area where it could be overheard by patients, families, and staff.
You said something about passive aggresive. How about if a co-worker asks me to do something and I say 'Paul, I'm really piled up right now, I can't.". If they continue asking I'll just repeat what I said before.
 

QofQuimica

Seriously, dude, I think you're overreacting....
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You said something about passive aggresive. How about if a co-worker asks me to do something and I say 'Paul, I'm really piled up right now, I can't.". If they continue asking I'll just repeat what I said before.
Everyone has their own style. I'd decline politely the first time he asked along the lines of what you said, and directly tell him "I already said no, so please stop asking," the second time. After that, I'd stop responding at all to any further attempts.

For the record, you don't have to be a raging b**** or a**hole about it when you turn down someone's request for you to do something. There's nothing wrong with politely saying, "I'm sorry, but I can't do X or Y."
 

Nasrudin

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Are you high? I'm a scholar. Scholars don't hit someone for saying something verbally. Well, it depends on the exact words, but I wouldn't hit someone for making a short joke. Not that I could fight; I'm not the aggresive type. When sparring I can go all out without getting emotional though. I don't know what it is, but getting hurt during sparring seems not a problem to me because it's 'normal'. With hurt I mean maybe a bruise or whatever.

Although the idea of doing jiu jitsu has crossed my mind. I did boxing for a while, but got tired of my head getting pummeled in during sparring. I have back issues, so jiu jitsu might not be it for me.
Cool. I mean being able to handle yourself is a confidence booster--that's all I meant. Professional fighters are very cool and confident and composed in situations where somebody is acting up. Or telling stupid jokes. Or whatever. Because they're trained assassins and engagement to them is doing damage to someone quickly and ferociously. I've delayed serious forays into to jiu jitsu for the same reason. Although I think I'll probably take private lessons eventually. I want to be able to take down a manic or psychotic patient if I need to without hurting them, just using holds and body locks and such--should the need arise.

You were prolly joking but the separation between the physical and mental is only fashionable in intellectual pretense. Everybody wants to know how to handle themselves. I'm gifted in the sense that I'm 6'5" and 250. But the way I use it is by being gentle as a teddy bear. This is both disorienting and soothing to patients. Even children who I have a good deal of experience working with very effectively.

You have to figure out your own balance. It really is different for everybody. If your a small lady you have to be a bit tougher. You get held to a different standard. If you're one color and the people or patients you work with are another or another culture you have to modulate yourself accordingly.

But I happen to think there's a component of the physical--not just size but skill--that is grossly under-appreciated in how it affects interpersonal interactions. I have just enough training in both heavy physical labor, wrestling, yoga, and martial arts, to sense how someone moves and the density of their strength to recognize someone who could take me down despite a huge size differential. I think it could be a huge advantage to workplace psyche for a small person to be highly skilled in the martial arts. Even as an amateur it helps me to sense when a patient could hurt me something useful for me as a future psychiatrist.
 

Nasrudin

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Everyone has their own style. I'd decline politely the first time he asked along the lines of what you said, and directly tell him "I already said no, so please stop asking," the second time. After that, I'd stop responding at all to any further attempts.

For the record, you don't have to be a raging b**** or a**hole about it when you turn down someone's request for you to do something. There's nothing wrong with politely saying, "I'm sorry, but I can't do X or Y."
Hey Q. I was just thinking I've been talking to you for years and I had no idea you were muppet sized. Haha. J/k. But what do you think about being female and small in your field which is very take charge by necessity. Or your thoughts on relationships with nurses in this regard.

Do you think you have the same personal style flexibility as a dude? And to what extent to you feel size is an issue on different fields if at all.

Not that small people can't do anything. Just obstacle wise?

I feel so lucky to not have to think about it. And to be able to let my naturally gentle personality be an asset rather than a liability. It seems to be a particularly lucky combination for my field. But I think the balance is different for everybody and is complicated by sex, size, and field rather we like it or not, however unfortunately. No?
 
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QofQuimica

Seriously, dude, I think you're overreacting....
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Hey Q. I was just thinking I've been talking to you for years and I had no idea you were muppet sized. Haha. J/k. But what do you think about being female and small in your field which is very take charge by necessity. Or your thoughts on relationships with nurses in this regard.

Do you think you have the same personal style flexibility as a dude? And to what extent to you feel size is an issue on different fields if at all.

Not that small people can't do anything. Just obstacle wise?

I feel so lucky to not have to think about it. And to be able to let my naturally gentle personality be an asset rather than a liability. It seems to be a particularly lucky combination for my field. But I think the balance is different for everybody and is complicated by sex, size, and field rather we like it or not, however unfortunately. No?
I tend to have a pretty strong personality at baseline, so if anything, I've had to learn to tamp it down a bit so I don't steamroll people like you. :smuggrin:

All kidding aside, I don't think my size has ever been an issue. No one mistakes me for a ditz or an easy target of bullying. I'm naturally a direct person, and that tends to work well with some people. With others, I've had to learn to be more oblique, as with the examples I gave above. With everyone, I try to be polite and slow to anger. I try to empathize with people I dislike even when I don't sympathize with them. I try to remember that if I feel stressed, everyone else does, too. I try to be nicer to my interns than some of my seniors were to me, but still push them to improve. It's a work in progress.
 
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I
I tend to have a pretty strong personality at baseline, so if anything, I've had to learn to tamp it down a bit so I don't steamroll people like you. :smuggrin:

All kidding aside, I don't think my size has ever been an issue. No one mistakes me for a ditz or an easy target of bullying. I'm naturally a direct person, and that tends to work well with some people. With others, I've had to learn to be more oblique, as with the examples I gave above. With everyone, I try to be polite and slow to anger. I try to empathize with people I dislike even when I don't sympathize with them. I try to remember that if I feel stressed, everyone else does, too. I try to be nicer to my interns than some of my seniors were to me, but still push them to improve. It's a work in progress.
Size doesn't really matter. It's weird when I say that, but I mean it in a different way. I know a guy just as tall as I am. But he's the coolest, most down to earth guy you'll find. He's confident, but not an ass and is generally friendly. He is/was a champion in kickboxing. All people in my class back then respected him. Even the ones who 'towered' over him. But you never got that feeling if someone taller was near. It was more like this guy was towering over them even though he was 6-10 inches shorter.

Confidence means a lot.

Btw, not entirely sure I posted this, but I'm a non-trad in terms of in my own country, but I'm in my early early twenties.
 
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Gfliptastic

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I think if we address your original question, medicine is immune. Because you are probably referring to a study done earlier this year where they found that height was mildly linked to salary. CEO's are almost always tall. Etc.

Medicine is immune. My neuro attending is a man of 5'3". And you know neurologists make a nice wage. There are short cardiologists. Etc. And all the women who are not centers on basketball teams.

I understand there is some credence to what you are asking. But medicine is not part of it. As posted already, there are a lot of intangibles and even some luck/opportunity involved in how much $ you will make. There isn't a height chart at the door of the hospital! :p
 

Nasrudin

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I think if we address your original question, medicine is immune. Because you are probably referring to a study done earlier this year where they found that height was mildly linked to salary. CEO's are almost always tall. Etc.

Medicine is immune. My neuro attending is a man of 5'3". And you know neurologists make a nice wage. There are short cardiologists. Etc. And all the women who are not centers on basketball teams.

I understand there is some credence to what you are asking. But medicine is not part of it. As posted already, there are a lot of intangibles and even some luck/opportunity involved in how much $ you will make. There isn't a height chart at the door of the hospital! :p
I find this notion, of physicians thinking they're some kind of exceptionalism to that which affects all human beings, completely ridiculous. It's the same sort of mindset that created an environment where big pharma could infiltrate our entire operation all the while with us being indignant at any insinuation that we might be affected by free lunches and bottles of scotch and golf trips.

Nonsense. Physicians are just like any other mammal. A person walks into the room. Your reaction is shaped by their physicality. I would argue to a much larger extent, at least instantly, than almost anything. All of our evolved instincts pertaining to survival would indicate this as useful. Modern intellectual culture of being some kind of non-physical space removed from sex drive and animal instinct is a completely self-indulgent and self-delusional frivolity.