Kids/school feasible?

BME

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My husband and I are in our early thirties. I will be starting school this August and we definitely want to have children. The question of when to start trying is agonizing. It seems most people suggest prior to the 3rd or 4th years but not during residency. I'm very concerened about being able to manage it all. Having children is too awesome a responsibility and in my opinion it's not to be taken lightly. To complicate the picture - I know I'm probably going to need some assistance conceiving (there's at least one, possible 2 surgeries in my future). Folks with kiddos, please advise. Anyone have a strangely similar situation?

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Congratulations on starting school! That is very exciting and I think that you will find that the challenge will bring out all the best in you.

I am a spouse, however I have interacted with many med students/residents and the general feeling is that if you can do it during the first 2 years of school, that is the ideal. The reason being that there is more flexibility then in rotations. The WORST time is during your internship year aka 1st year of residency.

I am in my early 30s and we have been trying for a while. I had to have a couple surgeries as well, and they have slowed me down I think. :) If you would like to talk privately about surgeries and time to heal, you can email me.

My advice, based on my experience, is to do the surgeries ASAP!!! Your body will need time to heal and will likely not get prego until it does. Then, after the surgeries and you get the all clear, start trying. You might even think about tracking your ovulation time to give you the maximum chances. Try to get prego during those first 2 years of school but know that such things happen when they are meant to happen and that with a supportive spouse, family, and friends....it will work out.

It will never be easy....med school takes a lot of time and dedication....but I have seen it done and have seen people elated to be both a med student and a mother. :)

Good luck!
Wifty
 
Ive had a major surgery, I'm still in undergrad, going to school at night, I have 2 kids and work 2 jobs (1 FT, 1PT).

It's definitely doable but sometimes its hard to manage. Ive had a couple episodes where I thought I was going to have a major meltdown.

Feel free to pm me.
 
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As a new Dad with a child born the summer before my first year of med school, let me tell you that it is definitely 'do-able' to have a child and go to med school. It may be hard if you feel that you need to go to all classes and lectures. For me, I generally do not attend class, unless required for an exam/quiz, or the lecture/class is on a complicated or interesting subject. This gives me adequate time to study during the day while my child is in daycare, and it also gives me enough time to spend with her in the evenings..... Before you ask, my spouse is also a working professional too!
 
Having kids during medical school is feasible. You need three things: 1) a supportive spouse, 2) good reliable, affordable childcare, and 3) to be super efficient with your time.

My wife and I had 2 kids during medical school. She worked full-time as a nurse, and I studied late at night. We were broke and worked very hard. It wasn't easy, and we almost lost our marriage. We made it, however, and life is good.

There is never the "perfect" time to have children if you're in medicine. My advice is this. I can't emphasize enough how important it is to be a good listener to your spouse, be supportive, and work as a team. It's worth all the work to have kids.

Good luck!
 
Hi there,

I just had my first child as an M-1 (I'm a guy, my wife had the baby!!). It has really been a blessing, and it enriched the second half of the year. My grades went up too.

I'd reiterate the other statements about having a supportive spouse. If your spouse doesn't HAVE to work, avoid it. I think it might be worth the money lost in the end.

Cheers, Frank
 
Originally posted by bigfrank
If your spouse doesn't HAVE to work, avoid it. I think it might be worth the money lost in the end.

I definitely agree with this...especially with starting your family during school. My kiddo is in school now, but if I were doing this when she was small, my hubby would have stayed home. I have a classmate with a 2nd grader and 4 year old and hubby stays home. I do really think it is worth the extra loan $$.
 
I am 32, started school last year with an 8mo and we are all doing great. My husband and I are discussing baby #2, probably next year. Throw in an hour commute to school each way, and it isn't always easy. I place in the dead middle of my class, but make my family a priority. It is doable. I concur that the way to make it work is #1: EXCELLENT CHILDCARE!!! #2: getting your baby to sleep thru the night ASAP and kept on a regular schedule and #3: the ability to psychologically balance school and family (ie> not being a gunner, so you can enjoy your kids). Good luck!
 
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