Lack of spousal emotional support

[Dr Sum Day]

Anyone married out there that has a spouse with little patience in your goals? Mine, is fine for awhile then if she gets stressed about work she'll take it out on me and mention that I should be supporting her. I have to re-assure her everytime.

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[Bevo]

i studied with someone last year who was in a similar situation. her husband basically said he wanted a divorce if she was serious about getting into medicine.

when I last talked to her she was still thinking about it. The way she talked about him it sounded like he wanted a stay at home wife or something. She is too smart and too goal oriented to ever be that.

A spouse should be supportive, granted medicine will be a strain on you but on him/her but to me that is what marriage is all about.

 

[DrMom]

Sorry to hear about your unsupportive wife.

Unfortunately, this is something where you need your spouse fully supporting you! My husband is 100% behind my being in med school, but its still hard on him (and me) because I'm studying all of the time and he has to take care of lots of things that I used to do for us/family/house/etc.

Can you find a positive med-student spouse that can talk with your wife?

 

[Dr Sum Day]

Well, at this time I don't know any med-student spouses. Also, my wife is in Korea and I'm IMing here as I write this...multi-talented , when I get into med school, she'll be happier b/c she will know that my goal is near. She doesn't like uncertainty---whether I'll get in this year or not.

 

[Wifty]

Originally posted by dpw68
Well, at this time I don't know any med-student spouses. Also, my wife is in Korea and I'm IMing here as I write this...multi-talented , when I get into med school, she'll be happier b/c she will know that my goal is near. She doesn't like uncertainty---whether I'll get in this year or not.

::waving hands in the air::

I am a med student spouse of a 2006er and would be happy to speak to your wife thru email.
I know that the hardest part for me was the uncertainty as well.....that waiting and not knowing where life was going to take us.
However, once hubby got accepted to his number one choice (I should say OUR number one choice as he wouldn't have gone if I wasn't happy with it), it has been smooth sailing since our course is mostly set.

There are spouses that are having problems though and there are some grounded fears that spouses new to this will have to overcome. But, with your support, that is doable and then hopefully the spouse can see what fun and learning can be found in the whole process.

If you go to the Spouse forum on here, you can maybe find some other med student spouses to help answer questions or give input.

Good luck!
Wifty
[email protected]

 

[MCWIHEA]

I feel for you. Although my husband says he is supportive of me, I can tell he has some fears about what life and finances will be like when I go to school. Just studying for the MCAT and working full time was hard enough on us, so I can't blame him. I think we need to get our spouses involved as much as possible with our schooling, so they feel involved. I am going to have my spouse tour the school with me, etc. I think they need some reassurance that we are going to do our best in managing time with them while we are in school. If I put myself in his shoes, I would also feel the same. I am trying to be sensitive to that, instead of resenting him for not being quite as excited as I am. It's a tough subject!

 

[DuckeyDO]

Originally posted by dpw68
Well, at this time I don't know any med-student spouses. Also, my wife is in Korea and I'm IMing here as I write this...multi-talented , when I get into med school, she'll be happier b/c she will know that my goal is near. She doesn't like uncertainty---whether I'll get in this year or not.

I don't know how well your wife has adapted to life in Korea, but when I was stationed there (in the Army) I didn't have the emotional stability to shop for toothpaste at the PX for the first few months. Constant reassurance is not always a bad thing. I agree with the above posters in that she may want to speak with spouses who have gone through it recently, just as we like to get a feel for things here with fellow SDNers. Good luck!! I hope you are able to resolve this.

 

[Dr Sum Day]

Thank you.

You guys/gals are great and the pre-osteo forum is 2nd to none!

 

[DrMom]

I'll take that as a tremendous complement, considering some of the posts in there.