to all of you that have heard me rant about this before... sorry in advance. so i've been holding my place at Sydney from last september after deferring to finish an honours. now i'm done, and i emailed sydney to let them know i'd be taking up my deferred place in 2006. only... i'm wondering if it's such a good idea after all. 1) not sure med is really what i'd be good at, even though i sure thought so since i was but a wee one; really it's starting to dawn on me that i MIGHT be more about the science than the people. lab/non-clinical research is making nice convincing crooning noises. 2) paying a huge debt and then having a 10 year moratorium slapped on me, ergh... i want to stay in oz but... and i also want to go for specialty training but how can i swing that financially with such a debt... 3) i can't help worrying about various trolls and their stigmatising... sydney wants a tuition down payment by the end of august ($20k) and i've been putting it off and putting it off and putting it off like a champ cos i don't know what to do. i'm sort of leaning toward deferring AGAIN, taking up a phd spot, and running with that, only i wont know if i get a phd scholarship until DECEMBER... at which point obviously i'll be in debt to sydney and/or loan sharks. eurgh! (oh, and i refuse to continue with a phd unless i can get a scholarship--phd's certainly don't earn the same dollars medical doctors do, so if i took a loan for that i could just give up on ever paying that debt off. so i won't know whether to take up said phd spot till december anyway. fffffff....ar out.) yeah so disorganised rant and bla and stress... first of all, what do you reckon? second of all, does anyone have ANY experience with said moratorium and how easy it is to cope with it and continue specialty training and not declare yourself bankrupt in the process? and what about making a deposit and then withdrawing? IS there a refund policy? how much would i be gambling, so to speak? yack! i'd love to stay, i can be a contributing member of oz society, and i've already paid substantial tuition--why do DIMIA policies and tuition nonsense have to be so EVIL?