Leaving College for Medical School...Depressed

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fneverforget

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This is probably going to sound like a lot of bull****, but is anyone else freaking out about leaving college life and heading to medical school.

Here is my situation:

I went to college out of state and now I am returning to my home state for medical school. Going to college out of state was the best decision in my life. It helped me realize who I am, and what I am capable of (living independently). High school and Middle School sucked for me because I moved into a new school district that was 2000 miles from where I grew up. I had few friends and did not do well academically because I had no social interaction. A few people who ended up giving me a hard time in high school surprisingly ended up at the same medical school as me. I am praying that I get off the waiting list at anther in-state medical school, so that I don't have to interact with those types of people who would give me a hard time and thus make me suffer academically.

Then everything changed, I decided to go to college out of state and it was the best decision of my life. I quickly made friends and did really well academically. I lived with 3 other roommates who are the closest friends that I have had.

I am very glad that I go into medical school, but now I am apprehensive about leaving college. I have to spend the summer back home in my home state and then start medical school in August. I am worried about all kinds of things like will I get depressed this summer just sitting around with no friends and nothing to do, will I be able to make friends in medical school and will I be able to adjust? If I don't adjust and make a few friends, will I be able to do well academically? If I am not able to adjust and I can't focus on my studies, what will happen to me if I get kicked out of medical school? All these worries are keeping me up at night and stopping me from enjoying my last month of college. I am very glad I got into medical school, but does anyone have any serious tips on how to adjust and how to not worry about all of this before medical school has even started?


I have even considered seeing a therapist about all of these anticipated changes, but then I get really anxious that some of my college friends will find out that I went to see a therapist, and that after graduation they will no longer want to hang out with me....

I have no friends back home, so I was thinking about just spending like 3 weeks traveling with my parents, and then doing research for 7-8 weeks so that I can keep my mind off of losing my college friends and college lifestyle.

P.S. its affecting my ability to eat timely meals, study properly, enjoy my last month of college, etc.....

Even if I don't see a therapist now, I am considering just waiting and seeing if this problem persists past my first semester of medical school. If it does, I will probably go and see someone.

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This is probably going to sound like a lot of bull****, but is anyone else freaking out about leaving college life and heading to medical school.

Here is my situation:

I went to college out of state and now I am returning to my home state for medical school. Going to college out of state was the best decision in my life. It helped me realize who I am, and what I am capable of (living independently). High school and Middle School sucked for me because I moved into a new school district that was 2000 miles from where I grew up. I had few friends and did not do well academically because I had no social interaction.

Then everything changed, I decided to go to college out of state and it was the best decision of my life. I quickly made friends and did really well academically. I lived with 3 other roommates who are the closest friends that I have had.

I am very glad that I go into medical school, but now I am apprehensive about leaving college. I have to spend the summer back home in my home state and then start medical school in August. I am worried about all kinds of things like will I get depressed this summer just sitting around with no friends and nothing to do, will I be able to make friends in medical school and will I be able to adjust? If I don't adjust and make a few friends, will I be able to do well academically? All these worries are keeping me up at night and stopping me from enjoying my last month of college. I am very glad I got into medical school, but does anyone have any serious tips on how to adjust and how to not worry about all of this before medical school has even started?

Everything in all life is always about seeing the world. Do you think you are going to have the same friends while in residency? The world is constantly evolving and the better you get to adapting to change, the better you will succeed in life socially and mentally. You may go through depression, but that also may help find yourself even more as it does happen to most people nowadays.
 
Guess what? This is life for everyone. You are no different. You will make friends in med school just as you made them in college. The key is putting yourself out there, which I'm guessing you already figured out in undergrad since you said you made a lot of good friends.

As life goes on, your circle of friends will shift. People get married, move away, die. You lose friends to in petty arguments and you gain them in commonalities.

The therapist thing: A. How would your friends find out you saw a therapist? It's not like they can access your medical records. B. Why would they not want to be your friend because of it? Many people seek some sort of therapy, and even more are on SRIs for something.

Don't worry about that. If they're as good of friends as you think they are, they wouldn't not want to hang out with you because you're feeling depressed and decided to take positive action.

If I were in your position, I would seek a psychologist who is specialized in CBT for depression. There's nothing wrong with venting your issues; we just can't help you nearly as much as a trained professional can.
 
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The therapist thing: A. How would your friends find out you saw a therapist? It's not like they can access your medical records. B. Why would they not want to be your friend because of it? Many people seek some sort of therapy, and even more are on SRIs for something.

I am afraid a common friend might see me going in and out of the psychiatric clinic at my school. There is no way for me to know whether or not they know that I had to go to a therapist, because after this month is over, they won't be living with like they have for the past three years. When you live with someone, you can easily tell what they think of you and so on... I am willing to wait while I am back home to see someone, because honestly I don't really care about what people back home think of me. I have no problem going to see a PCP in student health services about my issues. However, when I requested if I could see a therapist in student health services, my school told me that therapists are not allowed to see students in student health services, only in the psychiatric clinic lol. That is a stupid BS rule, but whatever....
 
If a common friend did see you going in and out of the clinic, they probably aren't going to say or do anything. They do have their own problems to worry about. But you do have a few options.
A: They see you and happen to be there when you are leaving. They approach you and ask if everything is alright. You can reply, "meh, I just have a few things on my mind that I wanted to talk to a professional about" or you can say "It is not your concern" (watch how you say this though, it will come out super rude)
B. They see you and instantly run to other friends and tell them. Sever. They are no longer your friend. They have broken your trust and privacy. You do not want such a person in your life.
 
It's a change, but the vast majority of people transition fine into it. It's a different pace, different environment, but you will adapt quickly and do ok. Med schools pick you for these types of skills (even if they aren't apparent to you), and they are usually pretty good at doing that.

If you do experience problems in med school, there will be almost too many options around to support you. Seriously. Once you are in, they are focused on keeping you in. We were told that the only way to leave med school was by cheating or in a body bag (the morbid humor of medicine starts early). Some people do struggle, and a few people do drop. However, there are usually other issues going on and it is after many attempts to keep you in. If you run into problems, you will have support.

So, enjoy your last semester of college, come to med school well rested and prepared, and always remember why you wanted to go to med school in the first place. It's busy and stressful and sometimes miserable, but I am always happy that I"m here. Good luck.
 
If a common friend did see you going in and out of the clinic, they probably aren't going to say or do anything. They do have their own problems to worry about. But you do have a few options.
A: They see you and happen to be there when you are leaving. They approach you and ask if everything is alright. You can reply, "meh, I just have a few things on my mind that I wanted to talk to a professional about" or you can say "It is not your concern" (watch how you say this though, it will come out super rude)
B. They see you and instantly run to other friends and tell them. Sever. They are no longer your friend. They have broken your trust and privacy. You do not want such a person in your life.

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

A good friend, if finding out about this, won't cut you off from their life or make you feel bad. Focus on your health/happiness instead of being worried about the reactions of others.
 
#firstworldproblems

Normally I would've agreed with you, however, some people suffer from mental problems.

I think op may be suffering from anxiety, stress, and mental issues. It's clearly a problem if it's keeping you up at night.

I would recommend that you do see a therapist.
 
I think you'll be fine. There is quite a lot of solidarity from most 1st year med students I know. People know they are going to be spending a lot of time together and want to make friends just like first year in college.
 
In terms of resuming contact with old high school people just remember how much you grew up/changed during college. Chances are they did too. I wouldn't be surprised if they are different people.

Survivor DO
 
Many of my friends( and myself) met with the counseling service for issues big and small! You want to go in to medicine, you should know that there is no shame in seeking the care you need. Sometimes its nice to have someone to vent to that doesnt know any of the other people involved and its totally on your side. Go to the counselor. Trust me, it really helps.
 
In terms of resuming contact with old high school people just remember how much you grew up/changed during college. Chances are they did too. I wouldn't be surprised if they are different people.

Exactly. They're not teen-aged jerks anymore, and you're not the same person either.

That said, since you are feeling that anxious, do the responsible thing and address the problem with a therapist. Physician, heal thyself and all that... Fix the issue now so you won't feel so vulnerable when you first encounter these 'use-to-be-jerks' again in med school. If bullying was a problem in the past, part of the solution is exuding confidence in the future. You made many good friends in college and convinced at least one ADCOM to let you into medical school. That should be worth something --
 
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The people of North Korea are oppressed their entire lives and they never get to see a therapist.

That does not mean that they would not benefit from a therapist or that they do not show signs of depression? Different cultures and socieoeconomic strata have different emotional strains. That doesn't make any of them any more or less real.
 
kids get "depressed" really easily nowadays.

Lol I laughed but it's kinda true

OP, you'll be okay-- if you found friends in college then I don't see why you won't find friends in medical school. Unless you are some extremely awkward and funny-looking jerk then you should be able to find SOMEONE you get along with. You're classmates might not be your BFFL's but you'll definitely find people you get along with and can chill with on the weekends. You are definitely over-analyzing and if you think a therapist is the best person to help deal with the anxiety then by all means go for it and work out this issue before you delve into even bigger problems you'll face in medical school and life in general.
 
to the OP:
Life is about letting go my friend. Your worried about the people in high school giving you a hard time now that your grown up? Never heard of someone getting bullied during basic sciences. Honestly, making new friends is very simple the older you get. EVERYONE will be just as scared if not more scared about fitting in, finding a group of friends, etc. Dont sell yourself short b/c your afraid of "what might happen." Ya you could also die tomorrow by getting hit by a bus....but do you stay inside your room and never leave the house? Take it from me also, there are going to be A TON of people you dont like/ never want to see but you will have to....start getting used to it.
 
Is this for real?
 
Should be easier to make friends in med school cause you're stuck with the same 100 people for years.
 
The people of North Korea are oppressed their entire lives and they never get to see a therapist.

And they lead such great lives despite not having access to 1st world medical amenities, right? :rolleyes:
 
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In terms of resuming contact with old high school people just remember how much you grew up/changed during college. Chances are they did too. I wouldn't be surprised if they are different people.

Survivor DO

This
 
I think it's kinda sad that mental health issues can get stigmatized. It's a real, legitimate concern.
 
If its bad enough to keep you up at night and affect your eating habits, go see a professional and discuss your concerns with them. As others have said above, your concerns are not uncommon, but that doesn't mean they should be ignored either.

You said you moved away to college and it has benefited you. No reason to presume starting med school will not similarly benefit you.
 
You will make new friends if you put the effort and time into it. It says something that your best friends are your roommates, people you have to put very little effort into getting to know or make time to hang out with. It seems you don't have a problem making friends, you just don't like to put in the work to sustain a friendship.

Before I was pre-med, I had many friends, would go out every night to do something with them, etc. I happily put in the effort to maintain all of my friendships.

Once I became a pre-med, it took over my life. I started working more to pay for my applications (I was stupid and assumed I didn't qualify for FAP), started to study much more, and taking on more ECs. I barely saw my significant other, let alone have time to regularly hang out with friends in a social setting.

Anyways, I let it take over my life. The only friendships I managed to upkeep were my work and study partners. I had to spend time with them and they suffered significantly less than friends I used to only see in social settings.

I promise you that you'll make new friends. It's up to you if you want to put in the effort to sustain those friendships. I've noticed a lot of overachievers don't have many friends, not because they are socially inept but because their priorities are significantly different than the typical person. Maybe that is why depression is so common in the medical field. Make it a priority to set aside time to spend with your friends and you'll develop that close knit bond you have with your roommates with the new people you meet.
 
You're not that same person anymore and neither are they. Don't assume things must go bad.

Good luck.
 
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