living the single life

Discussion in 'Medical Students - DO' started by docflanny, Feb 27, 2001.

  1. docflanny

    docflanny Senior Member

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    How are the other med schools in regards to #s that are single? For the first time in my life, I'm surrounded by soooo many married, engaged, and long-term relationship people. As a single student, med school has been quite discouraging...you can look, but not touch.
    Just curious what the other schools were like, perhaps I should transfer. Just kidding!

    By the way I'm at MSUCOM

    Good luck to everyone finishing up before Spring Break.
     
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  3. RDJ

    RDJ

    This does not answer your question, but I wanted to interject a thought or two and see what comes of it.

    I would think that the situation you are describing maybe a good thing. It will help you to avoid those infamous ?intra-class relationships?. It is the same thing as office dating...sometimes it works, but quite often, when things do not workout, it ends up putting you, your workmates and friends in uncomfortable spots.

    At the medical center where I live, there have been numerous little scandals over the past few years...by listening to the nurses and doctors whom I know, it sounds like there is some sort of sex scandal (med student and resident; resident and resident; resident and attending) at least every six months. Moreover, when it happens, everyone knows about and it dominates the talk around the nurse?s station and in the break room.

    Besides all that, you are at Michigan State University, for a single man/women on the prowl, you are in the middle of a ?meat market? (sorry if that term offends anyone). Personally, if I were looking, I would go outside of my class. I know it is tough; after all, being a med student is not an occupation, it is a way of life. It is really easy to fall for someone you are so conveniently around about 18 hours a day. In addition, it is nice to have those nice intimate conversations with someone who can relate to the hell you are going through. On the other hand, it would be nice to find some beautiful/handsome law student to date. You would still have something in common, but every other conversation would not be about neuro, boards, rotations and all that other stuff that so dominates your existence.

    Just my $0.02,
    Dale


    [This message has been edited by RDJ (edited 03-01-2001).]
     
  4. autumnchai

    autumnchai Member

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    hmmm....docflanny, i happen to know of a handful of people personally that have fallen deeply in love with you but for whatever reason not shared, pursued, etc...both fellow med students at COM and non-meddies. don't lose heart...a lot of people find you to be an amazing, compassionate, bright and kind person. keep being yourself...
     
  5. adismo

    adismo covered in moon dust

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    awwwww, the love in this room...
     
  6. RDJ

    RDJ

    Man Flanny!

    Sounds like you are one big-hunk-o-man-candy! Here I am--all presumptuous and what not--TRYING to give you some advice! Perhaps I should be getting some pointers from you?... [​IMG]
     
  7. Smile

    Smile Senior Member

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    Docflanny,

    I'm with you, man. I go to PCOM and I too have never been surrounded by so many "married, engaged, and long-term relationship people" as you put it. I sympathize with you in that you can look but not touch. That is so true! But in a way it's good because it helps you keep focus on your studies. Often times I forget why I'm here and how hard I worked to get here and need to be reminded of that. At the same time, because our class size is so large (~250), there are many who are single, and thus there is room to "play." But to do that involves doing so at one's risk, i.e. dealing with rumors/gossip that spread faster than any microbial infection known to man. Regardless, for those of us who choose a more sane life with someone special, in the end it will all work out for us. We just need to have faith!

    [This message has been edited by Smile (edited 03-01-2001).]
     
  8. Liquid_Tension

    Liquid_Tension Senior Member

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    I think that what you single dudes should look into is the escort service. Forget about the stressed out and overweight classmates that you see on a daily basis. I have found that the real trim is to be found in the call-girl and escort industry! Happy hunting and remember.....with all the fish in the sea, why keep your rod in just one fishing hole?
    -your most lascivious Liquid :)
     
  9. doc_2_b

    doc_2_b Junior Member

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    Liquid,
    Hilarious!! When I read this I was drinking water and blew it through my nose

     
  10. wren1976

    wren1976 Member

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    Just wondering...
    any married med students out there with families? How in the heck do you do it?

    I guess I am amazed that being in med school allows time for relationships. I see myself buried in books and exams and cadavers. YUK.

    2 cents
     
  11. kyoung

    kyoung Member

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    I'm with wren, I give kudos to those who are married/have kids while in med school. I will be attending MSU in august, and couldn't imagine having a family. As for my relationship life, I've had two end BECAUSE of my plans for medical school. One guy didn't think we would make it, and the next guy actually wanted me to give up my dream of becoming a doctor. Wouldn't a guy want a successful girlfriend?????
     
  12. Cobragirl

    Cobragirl Hoohaa helper ;)

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    No K, many guys seem to be extremely THREATENED by a woman who wants to do something with her life (besides make babies). I was engaged to a guy for 6 years (he wanted to wait til HIS career was off and running before we got married) and we ended up breaking up because I was ADAMANT about going back to college (I wasn't even CONSIDERING med-school that long ago!!). He literally said "you don't need to go to college because I'm going to 'take care of you' for the rest of your life" during one of our fights over it. When I enrolled in my first classes, he actually made me borrow money from my parents to buy my books (even though "we" had the money to pay for them) because he was so enraged that I had the NERVE to enroll without his "permission". Needless to say, our relationship ended a short time later. This guy was ALL about making money and material wealth, yet he didn't see the advantage of having TWO large incomes over one....I didn't get it...and still don't. It's a control thing. "keep 'em dumb, keep 'em pregnant mentality", I guess...personally, I never fell for either!

    Since that time I have met and married a wonderful man who has supported me every step of the way during my college career. Through my hard work, and HIS loving support, I am now in a position to attend medical school, earn a respectable living, and he'll benefit from it completely (I'll DEFINITELY be the bread-winner if I get in and make it through!)

    I know most of the men on this post are a little (hopefully a lot) more intelligent about this issue than my ex-fiance, but there are still MANY, MANY men out there in society that still think we women should be "seen and not heard". I hope they hear the exhaust of my Viper as I blow by them on the road in a few years!!!!! [​IMG]

    As an aside, my ex was in town today on a business trip. We went out to lunch and he ended up telling me how he brags about me to his family and friends now, and how VERY PROUD he is of me. Isn't that nice....

     
  13. tiffsatt

    tiffsatt Member

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    Props from my end also to all you married couples...I know I couldn't do it! Glad to see the studying isn't all you guys are worried about, you do need to have some sort of life too!

    Hey RDJ you give such good advice, maybe I should date you...just kidding. My sister is in law school if you want the other end of the spectrum!
    TJ
     
  14. adismo

    adismo covered in moon dust

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    can you say: cat-whipped?

    the Viper/exhaust is a nice touch though, albeit urbane. The real conniseur goes for the Carrera 4.
     
  15. docflanny

    docflanny Senior Member

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    Viva la libertad!!! We're on Spring Break!!!

    Wow, I'm surprised that this post has had so many replies!

    RDJ- I completely understand your advice and agree with it. A law or non-medical student would be nice to date.

    Autumn-I'm flattered by your observations. I'm intrigued at who you might be, knowing me and my relationship prospects so well. Also, I'm interested in learning of who these non-meddies might be. I'm less informed than you on these non-meddie girls.

    As far as dating another med student goes, I'm sure you'll agree you have to walk a very fine line. Although I wouldn't avoid dating another med student, it has to be pursued very delicately.

    KYoung- Welcome to COM. It's unfortunate that your previous boyfriends were intimidated at your potential and success. Enjoy your time before school starts. Don't get the impression that medical school is all work and no play. You'll have to work at it, but balance is key. I'm sure you'll find the adaptation to med school life not as difficult as what some may project.

    HAVE A GREAT SPRING BREAK!!!
     
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  17. kyoung

    kyoung Member

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    cobragirl -
    I give you a lot of credit for being able to break off a long relationship and engagement. Definitely a step in the right direction for you! Congrats on med school and finding the "one"! It's unfortunate we don't learn early on, it would save so much time and hurt feelings. It's also good to know that people in the medical profession do get married and have families. From my past relationships I figured I will be single for the rest of my life, due to my profession.

    docflanny -
    I hope I will be able to have a nice even keel to studying and social life. I've been told COM has great extracurricular clubs, - I'm especially interested in the Outdoor/Wilderness group. I was told they have been getting into kayaking. Have a good spring break!
     
  18. Rusty

    Rusty Member

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    I got married during medical school and despite assertations to the contrary, I believe that it helped me to focus on my studies. My wife and I have arranged our social life around my study schedule. Also, she lived 1.5 hours away from each other for the first 2 years of med school and I commuted to her home every weekend for those 2 years. Yes, the driving was annoying, but I used the time. My school makes audiotapes of all lectures so I would listen to a couple of tapes on the way home and back. My marriage helped me to be more focused in the classroom and on rotations, so that I could get the best residency that I can, so hopefully I will get the best job I can to support my wife and future children.

    I will be graduating in 2 months near the top of my class and recently matched to a top 10 allopathic residency in my field of choice.

    Don't knock being married or in a long-term relationship. I wouldn't trade being single for a second.

    p.s. Docflanny, maybe you need to go to the Landshark ("Meat anyone, I got fresh meat here, just step right up.") more often.
     
  19. RDJ

    RDJ

    In the words of an old friend, "A marriage can be your greatest asset...or your worst liability." Relationships are the best thing in the world when they work...you have your best friend, lover, confidant and soul mate all rapped up into one. No feeling in the world is closer to bliss then the feeling of falling in love...and nothing feels worse then hitting the ground when you fall out of it. That reminds me of another old saying, "I'd rather have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all."

    signed,
    Sleepless in San Antonio [​IMG]
     
  20. docflanny

    docflanny Senior Member

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    Kyoung-

    Funny thing you mention the Wilderness Medical Society...I'm headed on a back-packing trip with the club and about 12 students to Tennessee to hike about 50-60 miles of the Appalachian Trail during Spring Break.

    They WMS also has been doing some kyaking instruction, wall/rock climbing, national ski patrol shadowing, etc.

    Talk everyone after break.

     

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