living with parents during med school - worth it to save ~26K?

[whirlpool159]

So I'm debating whether to stay at home with parents (about a 20 minute drive from my school) or get an apartment near campus. My parents REALLY want me to stay with them but I'm afraid of it impacting my grades because of family responsibilites and the commute. Also, it would only be for the first two years because I'll have to move for rotations so I'm wondering if it will be worth it if I'm only saving ~26K .

Any input or advice on my situation would be much appreciated. Thank you!

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[Chibucks15]

So I'm debating whether to stay at home with parents (about a 20 minute drive from my school) or get an apartment near campus. My parents REALLY want me to stay with them but I'm afraid of it impacting my grades because of family responsibilites and the commute. Also, it would only be for the first two years because I'll have to move for rotations so I'm wondering if it will be worth it if I'm only saving ~26K .

Any input or advice on my situation would be much appreciated. Thank you!

If they're the type of parents that won't come in and bug you its absolutely worth it. I would in that situation. To have meals and laundry possible done as well as always having family around to support you is a huge plus. Again, assuming that your dynamic with them would allow that. Plus saving that money is always a win

 

[Scrubs101]

I totally plan on doing it 3rd year if i can get the base hospital i want, fridge always stocked with dank food and ill save 20k~...totally worth it

 

[Mr. D.O.five]

Live w/ parents. Take out SOME loans for leisure.

 

[Chibucks15]

I totally plan on doing it 3rd year if i can get the base hospital i want, fridge always stocked with dank food and ill save 20k~...totally worth it

That's my goal too. If I don't get one in town hopefully I can snag one by home for that exact reason

 

[whirlpool159]

If they're the type of parents that won't come in and bug you its absolutely worth it. I would in that situation. To have meals and laundry possible done as well as always having family around to support you is a huge plus. Again, assuming that your dynamic with them would allow that. Plus saving that money is always a win

They don’t interfere with studying too much but they’re helicopter parents and sometimes it can get aggravating. I usually do my own laundry and cook my own meals

 

[atomheart]

20min drive? Do it.

 

[Meekor]

Absolutely do it. It’ll save you a lot funds for residency applications and interview travel expenses. Furthermore it puts you ahead once you graduate, you’ll have more funds saved for moving and other expense.

 

[Chibucks15]

They don’t interfere with studying too much but they’re helicopter parents and sometimes it can get aggravating. I usually do my own laundry and cook my own meals

Put a lock on the door, and sound cancelling headphones. That's all ya need anyway. It'd just be nice to have the backup right there in my opinion

 

[nowaysanjose]

Spend as much time with your parents as you can. You don't know how much longer they'll be around.

 

[whirlpool159]

So should I still take out the extra loans during the first two years, but save it for residency applications/interviews/post graduation expenses?

 

[BorntobeDO?]

Spend as much time with your parents as you can. You don't know how much longer they'll be around.

As a parent, I have to approve this post.

 

[BluegrassBuckeye]

If they're too overbearing you always have a library to go to to get your work done. The upside definitely outweighs the down.

 

[Chibucks15]

So should I still take out the extra loans during the first two years, but save it for residency applications/interviews/post graduation expenses?

Nah they give you enough already...just pay less for the first two years and feel a lot less bad about taking the max for the second two

 

[BlueBleck]

I was in a similar predicament, except my commute would've been 40 minutes without traffic. Ultimately, I went with the apt. I understand the desire to save money, and I'm not suggesting that people be spendthrift, but you pay a price for everything. And for me, the peace of mind was worth more than 25k + interest.

There were a lot of things that I got roped into at home that weren't huge inconveniences, but that added up. For instance, small favors such as checking on the stove or looking out for your kid cousin every once in a while. Or spring cleaning. Or when grandma comes and you're going to hang out with her every night because you live there anyways and she doesn't understand that you need to study and she's going to die soon so you can't say no.

Honestly, nothing major, but it adds up. And I never minded it when I had more time, but as my time has started to really crunch, saying no would've been kind of draining on me. But as I'm out of the way, I'm not asked to do a lot of those things anymore. It's not just about having to say no, it's about not having that temptation. I love my family. I joke about having to hang w/ my grandma, but I totally enjoy it. I don't mind cleaning the restroom or whatever. Being 40 mins away is an excuse for me and for them.

Another thing is that living on campus meant that I bonded with a lot of my classmates more than I would've if I had to be concerned about a 40min commute after every class. There are events that I've attended simply because I'm basically just on campus.

I would honestly suggest moving out at least the first year. Worst comes to worse, move back in next year.

 

[whirlpool159]

I was in a similar predicament, except my commute would've been 40 minutes without traffic. Ultimately, I went with the apt. I understand the desire to save money, and I'm not suggesting that people be spendthrift, but you pay a price for everything. And for me, the peace of mind was worth more than 25k + interest.

There were a lot of things that I got roped into at home that weren't huge inconveniences, but that added up. For instance, small favors such as checking on the stove or looking out for your kid cousin every once in a while. Or spring cleaning. Or when grandma comes and you're going to hang out with her every night because you live there anyways and she doesn't understand that you need to study and she's going to die soon so you can't say no.

Honestly, nothing major, but it adds up. And I never minded it when I had more time, but as my time has started to really crunch, saying no would've been kind of draining on me. But as I'm out of the way, I'm not asked to do a lot of those things anymore. It's not just about having to say no, it's about not having that temptation. I love my family. I joke about having to hang w/ my grandma, but I totally enjoy it. I don't mind cleaning the restroom or whatever. Being 40 mins away is an excuse for me and for them.

Another thing is that living on campus meant that I bonded with a lot of my classmates more than I would've if I had to be concerned about a 40min commute after every class. There are events that I've attended simply because I'm basically just on campus.

I would honestly suggest moving out at least the first year. Worst comes to worse, move back in next year.

Yeah I was initially thinking about the situation from this type of mindset. I have a lot of extended family living in the same city and there are a lot of small inconveniences that come along with that. I also do think it will take away from my involvement in various organizations and ability to have a social life without feeling guilty about it.

But I also like the idea of being able to save money for residency interviews/travel because there isn’t a lot of room left for those expenses if I have to cover living costs. And 40 min vs 20 min is a big difference in commute time...

 

[TheDoctor66]

So I'm debating whether to stay at home with parents (about a 20 minute drive from my school) or get an apartment near campus. My parents REALLY want me to stay with them but I'm afraid of it impacting my grades because of family responsibilites and the commute. Also, it would only be for the first two years because I'll have to move for rotations so I'm wondering if it will be worth it if I'm only saving ~26K .

Any input or advice on my situation would be much appreciated. Thank you!

I was in a similar situation and I chose to live with them and it was definitely worth it to save money. Most schools have locations to study that you can use if you have productivity issues at home.

 

[Kr#36]

No amount of money could convince me to live with my parents as an adult

 

[You shall know the Truth]

Save the money, spend time with your family. They will be there when you need them because medschool takes its toll every once and a while.

 

[Dr.Jekyll75]

same situation as you, currently living at home as a 3rd year. i made it clear that i only would help if its absolutely needed. still got roped into crap constantly but then i started studying everywhere but home. i only went home to shower or sleep or eat. other than that i stayed at school most days. Completely worth saving 25k each year . Even as a third year i am continuing this . Save where you can, it adds up

 

[Deleted member 737595]

interesting...

Big rant upcoming, but this stuff gets me going.


I am actually quite surprised by the responses. I asked the same question but as it pertains to living at home during college, and EVERYONE said NOOOO!

I am living at home during college, and it is the best decision of my young adult life so far. I am saving tens of thousands of dollars, can take a shower in a clean bathroom, have a room to myself, get free breakfast lunch and dinner on demand, no roomates, et cetera et cetera et cetera. I think going away to college is just so outrageous, but our society has instilled it as a cultural norm. Now the norm is justified by "you gain independence, responsibility to do your own laundry, your own schedule" and I think to myself: what, you can't do this after you leave college and become a normal adult? Actually, I think the "independence" you gain in college can be detrimental to ones development into an adult, because it is only a false independence with the underlying security of a> parents money and b> the university.

HOWEVER: If you have a large family or a few younger siblings at home, it is difficult. There can be a lot of noise in the house many times. Also, siblings or parents will want to plan things on a weekly basis.

Its a completely different dynamic than traditional college life, but I 100% would do it again if I could go back. Nothing, I mean nothing, beats the support of the parents that reared you and know you, ESPECIALLY when they recognize that you are an adult.

 

[Deleted member 737595]

No amount of money could convince me to live with my parents as an adult

Well, that's just sad. Nothing wrong with it and many pros to it. The only reason I would say what you are saying would be if I were married, because in that case its the beginning of a new life. But while still in school?

 

[Kr#36]

Well, that's just sad. Nothing wrong with it and many pros to it. The only reason I would say what you are saying would be if I were married, because in that case its the beginning of a new life. But while still in school?

I think I could make a case that it is just as sad to "experience" college while living with your parents. Just a case of different strokes, thats all.

 

[Deleted member 737595]

I think I could make a case that it is just as sad to "experience" college while living with your parents. Just a case of different strokes, thats all.

True, true... indeed there are pros and cons.

 

[AnatomyGrey12]

My parents are great and I love them. But you couldn’t pay me $26k to ever live with them now that I’m an adult.

It’s time to move out OP, you’ll thank me later.

 

[Jasmine2022]

I think BlueBleck painted a very good image of how it may not be a good idea to stay. There are social expectations when living with family which differ greatly when living with a roommate or alone, and it's especially difficult when family doesn't understand just how challenging medical school is, as would be the case for me. There's no question in my mind that if I lived with my dad during medical school, the inconveniences would become significant enough to negatively influence my performance.

I would also like to note that when you don't live under the same roof, there is a tendency to appreciate the time you do spend with family a bit more. You no longer see each other every day, so you have more to talk about over dinner and you get a chance to miss your loved ones. While it doesn't always work out this way, distance has brought my family closer.

Everyone's family dynamic is unique, and you're the only one who can determine what is best in this case. If you think living with family will hinder your success at all, I would strongly consider taking on the extra debt of moving out. If you think you'll be lonely or negatively impacted by being away, stay. Make the financial aspect of the decision secondary to what is best for you as a student.

 

[BluegrassBuckeye]

interesting...

Big rant upcoming, but this stuff gets me going.


I am actually quite surprised by the responses. I asked the same question but as it pertains to living at home during college, and EVERYONE said NOOOO!

I am living at home during college, and it is the best decision of my young adult life so far. I am saving tens of thousands of dollars, can take a shower in a clean bathroom, have a room to myself, get free breakfast lunch and dinner on demand, no roomates, et cetera et cetera et cetera. I think going away to college is just so outrageous, but our society has instilled it as a cultural norm. Now the norm is justified by "you gain independence, responsibility to do your own laundry, your own schedule" and I think to myself: what, you can't do this after you leave college and become a normal adult? Actually, I think the "independence" you gain in college can be detrimental to ones development into an adult, because it is only a false independence with the underlying security of a> parents money and b> the university.

HOWEVER: If you have a large family or a few younger siblings at home, it is difficult. There can be a lot of noise in the house many times. Also, siblings or parents will want to plan things on a weekly basis.

Its a completely different dynamic than traditional college life, but I 100% would do it again if I could go back. Nothing, I mean nothing, beats the support of the parents that reared you and know you, ESPECIALLY when they recognize that you are an adult.

It's apples and oranges. Med school is 100% about succeeding in school and learning what you need to to eventually be a successful doctor. College is about experiencing new things as much as it is about what you learn in class. When you live at home during college you are losing a significant aspect of the experience side of things. Your argument seems to focus on the support of your parents being important to you, so I would ask would they be any less supportive just because you weren't living with them? My guess is no.

 

[Deleted member 737595]

It's apples and oranges. Med school is 100% about succeeding in school and learning what you need to to eventually be a successful doctor. College is about experiencing new things as much as it is about what you learn in class. When you live at home during college you are losing a significant aspect of the experience side of things. Your argument seems to focus on the support of your parents being important to you, so I would ask would they be any less supportive just because you weren't living with them? My guess is no.

To ME, college is about 100% succeeding in school to make it to medical school. I'm not in college to fart around, its just another step in my path. In my home country, medicine is studied right out of high school as a college degree, which I think would be the ideal; no wasting time and money. Also, I already have a grounding in character due to my upbringing and have a pretty clear direction. Many people start college with absolutely no idea what to do, and that's fine. College is a great place to try out different classes and pursuits to see what you like. But I already have discovered what I want to do. So this is just my personal take on it as a pre-med.

After a year and a half living at home during college, the only things I have missed in terms of 'experiences' are getting wasted on weekends with other clueless young adults and hooking up. There is nothing that prohibits me for partaking in other things which are important for my development by living at home. Inconvenient? Very, but still worth it to me.

And would my parents be less supportive? Not at all, but the same way you lose on the 'experience side of things' by staying at home, so too do you lose on having direct contact and financial, emotional support face-to-face with parents and siblings.

This is just my personal view, and right now I couldn't be happier with my decision.

 

[fourandtwo]

Have a meeting with them and make sure everyone's clear with expectations.

 

[BluegrassBuckeye]

To ME, college is about 100% succeeding in school to make it to medical school. I'm not in college to fart around, its just another step in my path. In my home country, medicine is studied right out of high school as a college degree, which I think would be the ideal; no wasting time and money. Also, I already have a grounding in character due to my upbringing and have a pretty clear direction. Many people start college with absolutely no idea what to do, and that's fine. College is a great place to try out different classes and pursuits to see what you like. But I already have discovered what I want to do. So this is just my personal take on it as a pre-med.

After a year and a half living at home during college, the only things I have missed in terms of 'experiences' are getting wasted on weekends with other clueless young adults and hooking up. There is nothing that prohibits me for partaking in other things which are important for my development by living at home. Inconvenient? Very, but still worth it to me.

And would my parents be less supportive? Not at all, but the same way you lose on the 'experience side of things' by staying at home, so too do you lose on having direct contact and financial, emotional support face-to-face with parents and siblings.

This is just my personal view, and right now I couldn't be happier with my decision.

I'm not sure what country you're from, so I suspect there are cultural differences at play as well as personal preference. Both of those things are absolutely fine, but you need to understand that your personal preferences are in the minority of most people's at a similar age in the United States. For that reason you really shouldn't get defensive at the responses you received to the question you posed about college vis a vis the responses in this thread.

 

[cjcarter]

I live with my parents and it’s dope. They take care of my dog while I’m at school, feed me, do my laundry, etc. And I’m saving hella $$$. Plan on living at home for 2nd-4th year as well.

 

[BlueBleck]

I am actually quite surprised by the responses. I asked the same question but as it pertains to living at home during college, and EVERYONE said NOOOO!

FWIW, I lived at home during college. I had a great time. But I also went to a local college and had tons of high school friends. What I realized in college was that I didn't make very many new friends. I like to think I'm a solid person, but I'm not Ms. Personality. Therefore, in med school, I would need to actually put myself out there to make friends. And it worked how I figured it would. I have a great crop of friends and a lot of friendly acquaintances. A lot of that I would attribute to not having to bounce immediately after every class to avoid traffic.

Really, looking back on it, I should have dormed my first year in undergrad and then gone back home. There was a lot that happened in college because you were just there and people were also just there doing nothing. As I've heard elsewhere, a lot of friendships are just seeing a person a bunch of times in a socially acceptable situation. And I agree. My best friend became my best bud because we had a class together in high school. There's nothing exception that really bound us together. The bonds that you make in college, and arguably med school if you want to be a local referral based independent practitioner, are indeed important. And if the network isn't important, at least for me, the formative experience can't be ignored.

I would've been so much more socially awkward if I didn't force myself to interact with people during college. And one of the easiest ways would definitely have been to have just lived in a place convenient for tons of social interactions. Some people don't need this, but i definitely would have benefited from it in retrospect. At the time though, I was like you. I had no issue living at home.

Regarding your pt about housework: I had been making my own food and cleaning up after myself since undergrad. My parents work. I didn't want to burden them with cleaning up after me when I had so much free time. So the other benefits aren't exactly relevant to me. This is definitely moralizing on my part, but no med student is so busy (outside of maybe dedicateds and surg rota) that they can't clean up after themselves. help yo parents with the house if you live at home, ya goobers.

 

[shisong]

I live with my parents and it’s dope. They take care of my dog while I’m at school, feed me, do my laundry, etc. And I’m saving hella $$$. Plan on living at home for 2nd-4th year as well.

do you think living with parents during 3rd/4th year but commuting 1 hour is worth?

 

[BIGphysician]

probably not. 26K in the grand scheme of things is nothing. Time to grow up and spread your wings and make some friends.

 

[fldoctorgirl]

Eh. I dormed for my first 2 years of undergrad, then came back home for my last year. I get along well with my parents and it's nice having someone cook for you, but the obligations and distractions are real. I wouldn't be able to do it for med school...my grades would definitely suffer.

 

[c6h12o6cube]

So I'm debating whether to stay at home with parents (about a 20 minute drive from my school) or get an apartment near campus. My parents REALLY want me to stay with them but I'm afraid of it impacting my grades because of family responsibilites and the commute. Also, it would only be for the first two years because I'll have to move for rotations so I'm wondering if it will be worth it if I'm only saving ~26K .

Any input or advice on my situation would be much appreciated. Thank you!

So, I'm actually living with my family right now during my first two years. Like most people have said, you need to figure out what your parents are like in a living situation. Are they going to come bother you every 20 minutes? Do you need to keep the house clean or else they're going to get upset? Are you going to be able to prioritize studying and doing things for your education?

My family have allowed me to stay without really contributing anything other doing dishes really and a few errands/chores. Overall, they just leave me alone to study and they're really understanding of all of that. So, really think about whether or not you can handle living with your parents. Now, there will be times where they want to spend time with you and I highly encourage you to spend time with them. Don't get too caught up in school that you don't even know what's going on their lives. That being said, be realistic about what you can do.

 

[knope321]

I'm also currently living with my parents and commute about 15-20min. At the end of the day, you're right, $26k isn't a lot. But you're investing so much into your education, that if you think it's not a great living environment, then it's not worth it.

PROS:
- Free rent, food, and laundry--> - saving $$$ for residency and applications because that's expensive (basically my main motivators)
- Getting to leave all my crap I don't need at my parent's when I move for third year
- I was super worried about making friends. In college I lived with some of my best friends and loved all the spontaneous stuff we got to do or just the 5 minute catch ups. Honestly, I'm kind of glad that I don't live with anyone, because I feel like I'd get super distracted.
- I like that there is a separation of home and school. I feel a lot more refreshed coming back for a second round of studying at home (usually)
- Not living alone: I like that after spending all day at the library or something, I can come home and eat dinner with them or study upstairs as a change of scenery.

CONS:
- Even though we had the talk about expectations, how I wouldn't be around that much, etc. I still got roped into family drama and they'll want me to do things with them on the weekends. The only way I can get out is if I say that I have school work, and even then, a weird sense of obligation can make you feel guilty about not doing enough. In my mind, now is the time to be a little selfish. My parents were super supportive and understanding, but at the same time, they are not the ones in school. So be comfortable with saying no.

- When you say the commute is 20 minutes, is it door to door 20 minutes? Or is this driving time? Also, what is your schedule going to be like in school. I'm living in the suburbs and school is closer to the city. To get there at 8AM. I need to leave by 7:05 at the latest or else I won't make it. My real commute door to door in the mornings is closer to ~40 minutes with parking, walking, etc. Are you an auditory learner? I started listening to lecture on my commute and it's actually great

- Harder to make spontaneous plans with friends. Some people will judge you for living with your parents, but most people honestly wish that they could.

 

[LeafyBreeze]

Tbh if I could I totally would (and my parents would probably be happier than me), but I decided to attend a med school in another state so that doesn’t seem like an option :’/ Woe is me lolol
It means a little less freedom and independence, but in your case it also means saving money, a support system, and people to take care of you when you’re sick.
Plus getting an apartment for that short of a distance seems like a waste (but that just might be me).

 

[eagle311]

1st year speaking: DO IT. Loans are heavy. Future you will thank you I promise. I live away from family and I wish I didnt. Any support will help. Save your money.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[raiderette]

Genuinely shocked that grown people aren't making their own food or doing their own laundry.

 

[John1513]

Do it. Your parents love you. Explain that Med school takes 100%.

College was different. I would have said no, don’t live at home, find yourself blah blah.

BUT Med school is a completely different beast. You are there to get sh$t done.

Save money. Don’t take out loans if you don’t have to, remember loans grow exponentially.

Last 2 years of Med school, there is a special loan you can take our specifically for applications, travel and interviews for residency

 

[Mosonik]

You should seriously consider living with your parents. Defer a little freedom now for some later. Money will become a variable for life and career decisions at some point (unless you are among those people whose parents are paying for med school). I don't think you'll regret graduating med school with $100k less in debt and more possibilities available to you.

 

[austintr]

Spend as much time with your parents as you can. You don't know how much longer they'll be around.

As a parent, I have to approve this post.

As a parent that had a parent die during first year, these folks speak the truth.