Long-distance relationship during residency

[cynicalmedstud]

Does anyone have an opinion about how difficult it is to maintain a long-distance relationship during residency (anesthesia residency or in general)?

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[chicamedica]

Does anyone have an opinion about how difficult it is to maintain a long-distance relationship during residency (anesthesia residency or in general)?

I've seen a lot of people do it successfully (med students and residents). I suppose it depends a lot on the relationship itself and how committed the 2 parties are to each other, a lot of compromise, working out a system of keeping in touch and regular mutual visits. With the demands and committment required of us by our careers, sometimes this is a temporary sacrifice that has to be made, with the right person. It's important to realize though that 2,3, even 4 years can fly by, even if at present, that may seem like an eternity.

 

[supahfresh]

it sucks. we didn't even last a year.

 

[TIVA]

I'll be honest, even a close-distance relationship sucks during residency. Residency just consumes way too much blood, sweat, tears, and YOUTH to allow for a healthy life outside of medicine. Just get the crap over with ... and fast.

 

[AceGirl]

It can be done, but be ready to work at it...

 

[pillowhead]

Does anyone have an opinion about how difficult it is to maintain a long-distance relationship during residency (anesthesia residency or in general)?

my husband and i have spent much of our relationship in long distance. 2 and a half years of undergrad, 3 months of 3rd year of med school, and looking at another 3 months this next summer. We will likely be apart at for at least a year during residency. Does it suck? yes. Is it doable? Absolutely if you're committed to each other. If one of you is particularly the jealous type or gives the other reason to be jealous, it will never work. You will learn to love talking on the phone (initially abhorred by my husband, now he calls every night when we're apart).

It also makes a big difference how far away you are. When we were only one state and a 5 to 6 hour drive away, it's really not so bad. When you're literally at opposite ends of the country (washington state vs. florida), it's much more difficult.

 

[Jeff05]

very difficult. lots of hard work - talking and bringing yourself back to the relationship. but, met her right before med school. long distance all through medical school - us/canada. getting married this year (2nd year resident). can be done.

 

[Snappleapple13]

Prior to med school, I was in a (unsuccessful) LDR with my then bf for 1.5 out of 4.5 years. Distance was definitely a factor in the break up, but I don't think it was entirely to blame. One reason why LDRs frequently don't work out is because distance tends to magnify any existing problems. In addition, it is a lot harder to work out serious problems over the phone/email vs face to face.

Having said that, I know of several couples in LDR who have made it work (probably because their relationships were in a better place going into the distance than mine was). This gives me hope because my current bf (of 3 yrs) and I will most likely be in different time zones for the next 3 yrs due to residency issues. Even though it sucked the first time, I am willing to try the LD thing again because this is a different relationship and I'm hoping that it will work out better this time.

Good luck with your relationship (and wish me luck too!)

 

[GasMan72]

Depends on how strong the relationship is, but just know that distance can make even the strongest of couples stray. It is doable, but an honest discussion about the relationship should take place first.

EJ