Lost, post grad, pressured to finish soon, depressed, what now? PLEASE HELP!

[minacat]

I am directionless, depressed, and being pressured (by some family, but mostly myself) to finish a program that will give me ensured, but fulfilling, employment.

All throughout HS and undergrad, I thought I was going to try to get into med school, be a doctor, etc. Did not really think about any other career choice. I was attracted initially to the subject itself, the prestige, and the job security. Did a lot of shadowing in HS. Took all the prereqs but struggled in chem (most of which were D/C/C-, then retook to C/C+/B). My school required a massive amount of chem courses to complete a bio degree, so much so in fact that I have a chem minor.

After graduating May 2014 BA bio and massively sucking on the MCAT (20), reality hit me I and wondered if med school was right for me (or rather if I was right for medicine) in terms of passion, capacity, time it takes to invest/working for years and years to pay that investment off, etc. I started taking prereqs for nursing that fall and into the spring 2015. I have applied to nursing programs for summer 2016 admission.

Then I started freaking out that I might be letting myself down by not at least trying to apply for any DO/MD schools. I wondered if maybe it was just a (major) lack of confidence and doing poorly on the MCAT that made me look to other career choices. It had been the only goal for years and thinking about letting go so easily sent me into a spiral of worry and despair.

I am working full-time as a medical assistant although it is not permanent, telling family and friends that I am going to retake the classes I got C's in to try to get into a DO school.

With AACOMAS scoring, cGPA 3.26, sGPA 2.91.
With ACOMAS scoring cGPA 3.10, sGPA 2.64.

If I retake the classes I'm sure sGPA will rise. If retake classes only have spring 2016, if I also am admitted/decide to do the nursing (??????) Haven't shadowed a DO yet because thought I was going to MD before realizing that I don't have the grades for it (unless I can fix it?? Unlikely.)

Studying the MCAT depresses me when I stop long enough to think about it. While I'm actually studying, it's ok. Scheduled to retake MCAT in Jan 2016.

Also gave thought to SMP programs, but I don't know if my GPA is high enough and haven't taken the GRE.

At this point I have no idea what to do and am open to any and all career suggestions. My career advising at my UG was a complete joke, too many kids and not enough interest in them to actually give any advice. I genuinely like helping people, I am meticulous and organized, and have an interest in science (even chem, and even if I suck at it). I really liked my research/molecular classes but didn't really pursue them as I thought it was med school or bust. It seems like I was always just doing the schooling and not fully preparing for the job itself.

THANK YOU FOR ANY AND ALL INPUT. I look forward to reading and responding to them.

TL;DR: Low GPA, even lower MCAT, always thought med school but now realizing I probably can't hack it. But can't give up the dream. Career advice?

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[tennerd]

i've posted on one of your previous threads. i think you should continue doing your MA job and accrue as much patient contact hours as possible and seriously consider redirecting your goals to become a Physician Assistant (PA).

 

[OzelloPiRat]

What do you REALLY want to do? What is your main goal? Forget grades, shadowing, other stuff, tell me your real dream is.

 

[minacat]

i've posted on one of your previous threads. i think you should continue doing your MA job and accrue as much patient contact hours as possible and seriously consider redirecting your goals to become a Physician Assistant (PA).

Thank you. I will look into it.

What do you REALLY want to do? What is your main goal? Forget grades, shadowing, other stuff, tell me your real dream is.

This is a hard question. I'm almost wondering if I even have any career aspirations. My main goal is to be able to travel, spend time with family, be happy, and not worry that I'm a check away from destitution. I'm pretty much a chameleon in that I usually perform well in whatever job is asked of me (excluding those darn chem classes).

 

[arc5005]

Thank you. I will look into it.



This is a hard question. I'm almost wondering if I even have any career aspirations. My main goal is to be able to travel, spend time with family, be happy, and not worry that I'm a check away from destitution. I'm pretty much a chameleon in that I usually perform well in whatever job is asked of me (excluding those darn chem classes).

Med school = devoting your life to med school. My friends have told me to not worry about having a boyfriend, or being distracted by boys, or trying to travel, or have a relationship, and I'd say most of my friends in med school are busy, stressed out, sometimes have free time, and are definitely worrying about money, since they are constantly in debt.

Granted many people have families, relationships, free-time, etc... & still get through med school, but I bet they sacrificed a lot!

I get what you are saying; I want all that too, one day, but perhaps there are other career paths that can give you more work-life balance than the path it takes to become a physician (7-9 + years devoting your life to medical school + residency and then even then who knows how many hours you'll be putting into work - depends on your specialty/workplace/ambitions/etc...).

However, if you do want to be a doctor, figure out why. what drives you to be in medicine? it shouldn't just be salary, stability, and prestige. What about medicine and working with patients and the sick interest you?

 

[IslandStyle808]

The problem here isn't you motivation, it is your confidence. Unless you find confidence in yourself, no matter what you choose, you will feel this way. Your failure to perform has taken away your confidence.

You need to learn how to perform to get that confidence back, it is not going to come just because you are driven. I suggest you look into learning specialist/counselor and try to figure out why you are struggling. At the same time, your school will have a psychologist who will help with the balance and self confidence (usually the services are free). When you start going well in school and life, that confidence will comeback. This is the position you want to be in when deciding what you want to do.

 

[Giovanotto]

The problem here isn't you motivation, it is your confidence. Unless you find confidence in yourself, no matter what you choose, you will feel this way. Your failure to perform has taken away your confidence.

You need to learn how to perform to get that confidence back, it is not going to come just because you are driven. I suggest you look into learning specialist/counselor and try to figure out why you are struggling. At the same time, your school will have a psychologist who will help with the balance and self confidence (usually the services are free). When you start going well in school and life, that confidence will comeback. This is the position you want to be in when deciding what you want to do.

Not to derail the thread, cause this is a serious concern and I wish you the best OP, but man, @IslandStyle808, you're always on point.

 

[bigoliver101]

Have you thought/looked into nursing?

 

[minacat]

Have you thought/looked into nursing?

Yes I have, and have applied for summer 2016 admission, but my heart's not really into it.

 

[Rekt]

Yes I have, and have applied for summer 2016 admission, but my heart's not really into it.

You're dead on arrival for both MD and DO right now. Even with retakes, it'll be a very long road until being eligible for DO admission.

I don't really know the ins-and-out of getting accepted to nursing school, but from my interactions with them, I figured the GPA requirements were also above your current GPA. The first thing I would do is take Island808's advice before you pick a path.

 

[minacat]

You're dead on arrival for both MD and DO right now. Even with retakes, it'll be a very long road until being eligible for DO admission.

I don't really know the ins-and-out of getting accepted to nursing school, but from my interactions with them, I figured the GPA requirements were also above your current GPA. The first thing I would do is take Island808's advice before you pick a path.

What about SMPs then?

Fortunately the BSN programs seem to be mostly concerned with the prereq GPA, and I'm good on that front.

 

[minacat]

Med school = devoting your life to med school. My friends have told me to not worry about having a boyfriend, or being distracted by boys, or trying to travel, or have a relationship, and I'd say most of my friends in med school are busy, stressed out, sometimes have free time, and are definitely worrying about money, since they are constantly in debt.

Granted many people have families, relationships, free-time, etc... & still get through med school, but I bet they sacrificed a lot!

I get what you are saying; I want all that too, one day, but perhaps there are other career paths that can give you more work-life balance than the path it takes to become a physician (7-9 + years devoting your life to medical school + residency and then even then who knows how many hours you'll be putting into work - depends on your specialty/workplace/ambitions/etc...).

However, if you do want to be a doctor, figure out why. what drives you to be in medicine? it shouldn't just be salary, stability, and prestige. What about medicine and working with patients and the sick interest you?

I wish I could tell you what it is about medicine that interests me. If you asked me 5 years ago I would have said that there is such an intrinsic good in caring for and healing others, and medicine and the sacrifice it entails pursuing a career in it for the sake of that healing is a noble cause, and one that would also give me personal satisfaction.

And now, I don't know if it feel as .... strongly (????) as I did (about the sacrifice, not the intrinsic good).

And @IslandStyle808 is right about the confidence thing. But as I've been a year out of my school now, I don't know if those resources would be still open to me. I'm sure something else can be done, or I can just grit my teeth and bear it.