love and getting married

[zorro21]

hello. i have been dating my girlfriend for almost a year and half. i start med school this year and i am considering getting engaged to my girlfriend and taking her with me.
i would like to know what do other students thing of love. what is love, really? and how do you REALLY know that someone is the one for you?
i love her with all my heart, and i cant imagine my life without her and can't stand to be away from her, and she thinks the same way about me. so, is this love? is it true love? please help me!

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[jpdmu]

If there were answers to the questions you posted, I would certainly like to know. Many have tried to ponder those exact same questions and came upon different conclusions.

Honestly, I can't answer your questions.... I don't think anyone can.

I just got married recently from a three year relationship with my girlfriend (now, my wife). I felt it was the perfect time to say "I DO!" My feelings for her is what you feel about your girlfriend. I'll be attending medical school this coming year, but will only be with her for a few more months because my wife is going to graduate school not in the same state!!!

The reason I am now married was that I saw noone else for me....That's when I knew I found "True Love" (if I can label it that). Now if you can see that in your relationship, then maybe you have found true love.

You say, you can't stand to be away from her.... I hope she understands the rigors of medical education....

I wish you the best with whatever decision you make. It sounds like you found "love" and if you both are that committed to each other,then more power to you.

Finding that right person is hard to come by.... Anyway, those are my random thoughts.... Hope your questions get answered.

 

[kidterrific]

Heartburn?
Or LOVE? (sorry, I keep seeing these GERD advertisemtents....)

The way I see it is this. There are two types of partners in life. Those that hold you back, and those that push you forward. Make sure you have one that pushes you forward (and make sure you're one that pushes the other one forward, too). And not forward down a flight of stairs, or anything. You get the point.

I really liked the way my brother did it. He got engaged, and then started Law School for four years. I guess he figured that if the relationship could last through four years of Law school, it could last through much of anything. He graduated and got married in the same week. I don't think I ever saw him happier ('cept for now, because he has a kid). I think that if the person will live through the hell med school is going to dish out (and that you can do the same), then you guys are on the road to happiness, because med school may be hard for you, but it's JUST AS HARD on the significant other, as well.

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KidT
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[peiyueng]

Love is giving, not taking. It wants the best for the one you love. Love makes you want to charge out into the world and do as well as think big. It makes you want to share your thoughts and dreams. It's honest and open. Love doesn't arrive in an instant. It takes time to grow and flower, and when the storms of life blow in, it doesn't wither.

 

[kidterrific]

I sum it up in haiku:

Love much like med school.
Years and years of bad torture,
would never trade it.



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KidT
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[Dylan911]

Someone once told me that I should only marry someone that I could never live without, not just someone I could live with.

I dated a guy for almost four years, and I thought I would eventually marry him. I thought he truly loved me and that I loved him, but alas, now he has a new girlfriend.

I know love isn't a feeling, it's an action. And I think the hardest thing for me is that I think I will know when I love someone, but how will I know if they love me? Because on the outside, a person can be wonderfully selfless and giving for a long time, but what if he becomes someone else later on?

Only time can tell if the love is truly real and time is something that I rarely have..........

 

[Paul's Boutique]

i love her with all my heart, and i cant imagine my life without her and can't stand to be away from her, and she thinks the same way about me. so, is this love? is it true love? please help me!

If you don't want to hear my comments, then simply ignore this posting...

The quote i pulled from your post sounds a bit... ?adolescent? to me. I will say that I was once a bit ?naive? as to how things go in marriage, and I had quite a time with my first one.... specifically because I was blinded by what I thought was 'love' (turned out to be codependence). It turned out to be quite a damaging relationship.

Nevertheless, I just celebrated my 4th anniversary, and am now finishing my 1st year in med school. I would say that my wife and I are less... gushy, with expectations based a bit more on how we both see the world operating. What does that mean? It means my wife doesn't expect to see me (much) every day, that she expects me to work very hard and put in a lot of time in my studies. She also expects me to do well (!!)

Please give yourself some time before committing to marriage. If it was meant to be, the relationship will still be there after another year or two...

 

[glands75]

My girfriend of 2 years and I broke up back in March BECAUSE of med school. We both know how I get in the academic setting and it wasn't fair to her to take a backseat to school for 4 yrs (or longer). So, I'm going in alone and hoping that I can concentrate on school for the first two years, then maybe start dating again once I'm in the hospitals for yrs. 3 and 4.

But, then again, hormones are a terrible thing to waste

 

[Dragonfly]

Making any sort of life commitment (love, marriage, medical school) is perhaps a leap of faith. Best of luck to you in your decision!

 

[drgroovespace]

Hi Everyone,
Well, I find this topic very interesting because my boyfriend is currently a first year med student, and i am a premed student finishing up my junior year. We've been dating for 14 months now. I have to say that if someone sticks by you through things like med school you know that they are really committed to you. Am I right or wrong? Like me for instance there have been times where I won't get to see him for a while or talk to him because he has a block exam coming up that he is cramming for. I find it a testing time but at the end I know I will be rewarded because then I get to have him all to myself. I think also that it takes a lot to have such a relationship in med school, so it shows how much he's committed to it too. That's just my two cents about it.

 

[OldManDave]

My friend, after one horribly tumultuous, and fortunately, short-lived marriage followed by one of unbelievable strength and happiness...let me tell you, [/b]IT TAKES A HELL OF LOT MORE THAN LOVE TO MAKE A MARRIAGE STRONG AND LASTING!!

Let your doubts and insecurities in this decision, as is evidenced by your approaching a BBS full of people you do not know for advise, strongly suggest to you that you need to really think this through before you pop the question!!!

Medical school will require equal sacrifice on the part of your spouse...and in some contexts, more sacrifice. Remember that even though the hours are extremely long and difficult, you are pursuing your life's dream; whereas she/he may not be as "into it" as you.

Medical school, residency and your professional life as a physician will continually stress your marriage...which is why it must have a very very strong personal commitment, from both of you, as a foundation to survive...something far deeper than just "loving" someone.

My two cents...

 

[Jamier2]

Old Man Dave has it exactly right. Love gets you going in a marriage, but it takes so much more for a marriage to be successful.