M1 wanting to drop the program but I’m worried about how it’ll look and who to talk to

[Latteandaprayer]

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[AHDCard]

Based on your post, I would drop out. You can always do a research year at some point, and if you get the research bug again as a resident/fellow you can get back in at that point. If you are reasonably certain early on that you don't want to be a PI, then I would just drop out.

1.) Who to talk to: Are there any older students that you're aware of who have dropped MD/PhD? Any advisers that you trust within your school, especially someone distant from the MD/PhD program that you feel reasonably confident wouldn't immediately blab to the program? Once you've decided, I would email your PD and/or an associate PD that you have a good relationship with.

2.) I would drop as soon as you've made the decision to drop, unless (and I don't recommend this) you are "flexible" with your morals and want another year of tuition and stipend. If you wait until the end of MS2 to drop, there may be whispers of "Latteandaprayer did it for the $$$". If you are truly indecisive, you can also drop after 1-2 years of grad school and master out (if your program lets you). But if you know earlier on, that's better because dropping during grad school means you will need to navigate your relationship with your PI, scheduling clinical rotations, and attrition of medical knowledge. When you drop early on it's very simple.

3.) Honestly, I wouldn't worry too much about minimizing the damage. I don't think anyone will blame you for having a change of heart and realizing your career goals lie elsewhere, as long as you have an "I'm grateful for the opportunity and support but this isn't the right path for me, and I apologize" tone. (Especially if you drop before the end of MS2 year.) Attrition is not uncommon, so PDs expect it to happen, and programs don't want unhappy students anyways. If any of your MS1 classmates want to join MD/PhD, that frees up a slot for them, too. People who I knew that dropped MD/PhD ended up matching fine. At my program they got a note on their MSPE saying that they started in the MD/PhD program and left the program, which residency PDs don't care about.

 

[Latteandaprayer]

Based on your post, I would drop out. You can always do a research year at some point, and if you get the research bug again as a resident/fellow you can get back in at that point. If you are reasonably certain early on that you don't want to be a PI, then I would just drop out.

1.) Who to talk to: Are there any older students that you're aware of who have dropped MD/PhD? Any advisers that you trust within your school, especially someone distant from the MD/PhD program that you feel reasonably confident wouldn't immediately blab to the program? Once you've decided, I would email your PD and/or an associate PD that you have a good relationship with.

2.) I would drop as soon as you've made the decision to drop, unless (and I don't recommend this) you are "flexible" with your morals and want another year of tuition and stipend. If you wait until the end of MS2 to drop, there may be whispers of "Latteandaprayer did it for the $$$". If you are truly indecisive, you can also drop after 1-2 years of grad school and master out (if your program lets you). But if you know earlier on, that's better because dropping during grad school means you will need to navigate your relationship with your PI, scheduling clinical rotations, and attrition of medical knowledge. When you drop early on it's very simple.

3.) Honestly, I wouldn't worry too much about minimizing the damage. I don't think anyone will blame you for having a change of heart and realizing your career goals lie elsewhere, as long as you have an "I'm grateful for the opportunity and support but this isn't the right path for me, and I apologize" tone. (Especially if you drop before the end of MS2 year.) Attrition is not uncommon, so PDs expect it to happen, and programs don't want unhappy students anyways. If any of your MS1 classmates want to join MD/PhD, that frees up a slot for them, too. People who I knew that dropped MD/PhD ended up matching fine. At my program they got a note on their MSPE saying that they started in the MD/PhD program and left the program, which residency PDs don't care about.

I know this sounds stupid, but how would I word an email to my PD? That too has been stressing me out… also if I drop now, how will I found next year since I didn’t fill out a FAFSA?

 

[Maebea]

Attrition happens. While programs report that the attrition rate has declined over the past decade, the fact is that some individuals leave for a variety of reasons. Some even choose to drop the MD in favor of continuing with their research. I do not know every MD-PhD program leader, but I would think that most will be understanding when a student decides to dropout of the program. The last thing we want is for someone to stick with it even though they know it is not right for them. They will be miserable and will spread that misery to others. (I've observed this contagion a couple of times in my program.)

While the prospect of discussing this with your program director may be unpleasant, having difficult conversations is something you will have to do repeatedly in your career. Most often these conversations will be with patients, but you will have to have them with peers and supervisors. I would encourage to discuss this face to face, rather than sending an email. I think you will find that the pd is supportive and is interested in helping you determine whether the MD-PhD path in no longer appropriate for your goals.

 

[Latteandaprayer]

Attrition happens. While programs report that the attrition rate has declined over the past decade, the fact is that some individuals leave for a variety of reasons. Some even choose to drop the MD in favor of continuing with their research. I do not know every MD-PhD program leader, but I would think that most will be understanding when a student decides to dropout of the program. The last thing we want is for someone to stick with it even though they know it is not right for them. They will be miserable and will spread that misery to others. (I've observed this contagion a couple of times in my program.)

While the prospect of discussing this with your program director may be unpleasant, having difficult conversations is something you will have to do repeatedly in your career. Most often these conversations will be with patients, but you will have to have them with peers and supervisors. I would encourage to discuss this face to face, rather than sending an email. I think you will find that the pd is supportive and is interested in helping you determine whether the MD-PhD path in no longer appropriate for your goals.

Thanks. I emailed for an in person meeting. I’m just really worried about funding M2 year :/

 

[Maebea]

The MD financial aid office will swing into action once you formalize your decision. You will be an MD student and they should be able to help you access financial resources.

 

[mudfud26]

Thanks. I emailed for an in person meeting. I’m just really worried about funding M2 year :/

Talk to your PD. As you said, you haven’t done full-time research in months and you’ve only seen 4 patients. Once you do a summer research rotation, you may feel the complete opposite. I would wait until summer, when you’ve had the chance to do research again, so you can see how you feel. It’s pretty common for people to go all-in on clinic in their M1 and 2 then insist they will have a lab so big they need their own floor during their PhD, and m3 and 4 return to a clinical focus.

 

[Latteandaprayer]

Talk to your PD. As you said, you haven’t done full-time research in months and you’ve only seen 4 patients. Once you do a summer research rotation, you may feel the complete opposite. I would wait until summer, when you’ve had the chance to do research again, so you can see how you feel. It’s pretty common for people to go all-in on clinic in their M1 and 2 then insist they will have a lab so big they need their own floor during their PhD, and m3 and 4 return to a clinical focus.

That’s my plan right now, but I don’t want to seem like I’m mooching off their money. I just don’t want the program to say anything bad about me, which is why I’m reaching out now, but if I stay another summer (or even another year to see if I’m truly wanting only clinical work), that’ll look bad