Managing school & kids

[PHDplease]

I was accepted to a PhD program and PsyD program, however, I just discovered I was pregnant. Has anyone heard of people juggling a pregnancy and first year of school. I am thinking now of accepting the PsyD due to the possible workload.

My due date is during Christmas break so that would be ok, I just do not want to defer my dream a year and go through this whole process again.

Any help would be great.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

I don't think the PsyD would be any easier work wise, but it is dependent on the program. As for pregnancy and getting your doctorate....people do it, some planned, some not. If you can time it over X-Mas, you'll really luck out.

-t

 

[hunter123]

I have a soon to be 3 year old and I applied to clinical psych programs. When he was 6 months old, I returned to school to finish my BS (which I will graduate with in May). It can be difficult to go to school with a young child, but it is possible. Not only have I taken up to 20 credits each semester (while maintaining a high GPA), I also have an internship as a RA and I work part time. It will be very helpful to you if you have family members or a significant other to help you out (my boyfriend is a great father, but my family lives far). You should also look at each school and see if they have an on site daycare; you will be spending so much time at the school, at least you could stop in and see your child! I would pursue whichever school you liked the best.

Also, one of my professors was from Egypt and she was accepted into the clinical psych program at Yale back in the 50's. She came over here by herself, knowing nobody, with a two month old child. She was able to graduate from Yale with her PhD (although she switched from clinical to social because she ended up having another child years later). She found a student in a similar situation to hers and they wound up helping each other through the first few years. It definately is possible, I wouldn't limit yourself due to pregnancy.

 

[paramour]

It can be done--but as the above poster mentioned, support is a great help in doing so. I suspect that it is also highly dependent upon the program, regardless of whether it's PsyD or PhD. One PhD program I interviewed at had a student who had just delivered during the second month of the spring semester. The professors and the other students were very supportive of her and worked with her to verify that she didn't get behind on her work during the pregnancy and during her short-term leave after the baby. If you have worries, perhaps get in contact with some of the program's current students and see if they know anyone else who hass done it while they were there. G'luck!

 

[Cosmo 23]

I am going to start a phd program in the fall (either clinical or counseling, not sure yet which) and am definitely planning to have children in the next 5 years (I'm 30 now and married for 4 years). I think it can be done but how happy you will be doing it is a factor of the program culture, not degree. I interviewed at one phd clinical program in nyc that told me about a woman who took a year off to take care of her baby (after losing one of them, she had been carrying twins) and then had to re-apply! That's bad. Look for programs with older students and with a fair number of women on faculty.

I also have anxiety about making it work but think it can be done. You should also be open to the fact that it might take you a little longer than your peers, since you might be carrying a lighter course load or be less able to go as "full time" as you would have pre-baby. I know one women who got her phd in 8 years...and had 3 kids along the way.

 

[CheetahGirl]

I was accepted to a PhD program and PsyD program, however, I just discovered I was pregnant. Has anyone heard of people juggling a pregnancy and first year of school. I am thinking now of accepting the PsyD due to the possible workload.

Congratulations for admissions to the PhD/PsyD programs.... and to the maternity ward! I'm a working Mom with two kids (3 years and 6 months) who is applying to programs now. It's NOT impossible to do both. Being a mother is amazing. Certain things will [biologically] become second nature to you and you will manage with the help of others. I don't know your personal situation, but I'm assuming that Dad will be there to help out, and I assume you will opt for an awesome caregiver/daycare that will provide your bundle of joy with the quality of care that he/she deserves. My husband is VERY intregal and very supportive...he's a great husband and Dad. My kids are in an excellent daycare/school (Montessori-type), so I'm confident that they are getting exposure to warmth, stimulation, and creativity with early learning at their own pace. The school has an open door policy, which means my husband and I can stop by at any given time to check on them (to put our mind at ease).

First and foremost: figure out which program is the right for you (putting your pregnacy aside for a moment)....I advise to go with the program that your heart/mind is sold on. Down the road, you may wish you decided differently...so, don't make it completely contingent on your pregnancy & childcare. You model your schooling as you would a job...office hours = class time / clinic training. You have the morning, evening, weekends, holidays to enjoy your bouncing baby. Your life will change in more ways than you can expect, so if you are one to opt for the easy road, take the easy road...if you opt for the hard road, then follow the hard road. This is how it may be: Your little angel will probably wake up around 5am - hang out with you until you're off to classes; then you can select a daycare nearby the university you attend - visit your angel during breaks; end your day - pick your angel up and go home & have dinner together (love those family values); create a night time routine, and you have the ENTIRE evening to work on papers, reading, go out with Dad, etc. (My sweethearts are both in bed by 8pm.) The nights you have to stay late, than good 'ole Dad will step up to the plate. It sounds like a lot, but Mothers are amazing: we FIND the energy to make it all happen. (This is probably scarying all non-pregnant readers...ha).

You also have to figure out your finances, which is a huge factor. When I start my program, I'll most likely resign from my job. So, take into consideration the cost of daycare and lack of income on your part. Hopefully, everything will work out for you & it will be smooth sailing.

I also recommend NOT deferring your acceptances, but rather deferring your Spring 2008 semester, but you'll really not need more time off than that. The university (of your choice) will work with you - you can be rest-assured. Babies especially need their Mommas when they're tiny...and you'll want the one-on-one getting to know the pumpkin-pie. So, maternity leave is mandatory for your insanity (or lack there of). Don't look at it like a bump in the road...just a bump on your tummy.

Good luck and remember as time goes on...it gets easier and easier - the first 6 weeks is the hardest on you & the little muffin (I hear doctoral programs increase in intensity within the first semester, but by then your in and managing it.) Believe me: I can give you dozens of ancedotes of Moms who went back to school for various degrees (PhDs, PsyDs, MDs, JDs) and they're children are doing well & the Mommies (with their marriages) survived, and the love is thriving. I wouldn't be joining this rat race otherwise.

Best Wishes!



Okay, I'll step off the soapbox now.

 

[Cosmo 23]

FYI...
I thought this was such an interesting article...it covers the real efforts that some universities are making to make academia a more reasonable to place to be, as a women of childbearing age. Nice to see some schools are catching up with the private sector...

http://insidehighered.com/news/2007/04/04/family

 

[LM02]

Honestly, I would choose the school that best fits your career goals, and then talk with someone about deferring your matriculation for one year. I know several people who have deferred admission to PhD programs (even mentor model research-oriented ones), so it can be done. You wouldn't have to apply all over again.

I say this because you will be in your 3rd trimester during your first semester of school. And that first semester is typically very stressful - not only because of the coursework and research demands, but also because you are adjusting to being in graduate school. It's a big adjustment! At the same time, you will be heavy, tired, bloated, etc. Physically, it is going to be tough to take on that first semester when you are in your 3rd tri. And emotionally, your mind is going to be on nesting and preparing for the arrival for the little one - not completing yet another statistics assignment!

Alternatively, if you defer a year, you will be starting when your child is roughly 8 months old - you will have settled into a routine, kiddo will (hopefully) be on a more consistent sleep schedule, and you will have more energy to devote to your graduate studies.

Of course, you have to decide what's right for you. But that is what I would do if I were in your shoes.

Edited to add: I've already earned my PhD, so the above advice comes with the experience of having gone through graduate school. I think it would be quite different if you were having a child in the middle of your studies... but as a first semester student, I think it's going to be even more difficult.