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Marriages and med school, is it impossible?

Discussion in 'Medical Students - DO' started by Choirgrl05, Jun 6, 2001.

  1. Choirgrl05

    Choirgrl05 Member 7+ Year Member

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    Apr 22, 2001
    Shreveport, LA, USA
    Hey,
    I'm getting married soon (one month and counting), and starting at NOVA in the fall. Although this is the most incredible time of my life, I seem to be getting lots of "advice" on the dismal rate of divorce in med school.
    I just wanna know some good news. Some good stories from people whose marriages are strong through med school.
    -grl
     
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  3. ElrondontoDO

    ElrondontoDO New Member

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    Jun 5, 2001
    Davie
    I hope not. I just got married and am starting at Nova. So we'll see I guess.
     
  4. matopet1

    matopet1 Member 10+ Year Member

    52
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    Jan 14, 2001
    columbus,oh
    My wife and I have been mariied for 6 years and have 2 kids. She has known me since sophmore year in college.I have been looking towards med school since she met me in college.We both worked while i was in grad school at night and we also had our first child during this time.The important thing is to be by family if you are going to have kids.A;lso ask NOVA to find you a married upper classmen to talk to who is married. CCOM hookeed me up with a married med student with 2 kids and he was a graet help.Gw let me talk to a student who was 29 and had 3 kids.I was lucky enough to have multiple acceptances and we wanted to be back by family in DC or Chicago. My wife ended up getting a great job in DC and She started that on JUne 1. we will be separted for a month and then we will hang in Dc until Aug 1.We both would have been happy in Chiacgo but she happen to get a great oppurtunity in DC. Marriage is about compromise and teamwork. I took my MCats last year while my wife was homebound the last 8 weeks of her pregnacy. Both of our families helped us out. My son was born 5 weeks before the MCAT.I even took a week off from studying.Some how my wife and I find a way or make a way. Medicine is a stressful lifestyle and it varies from specialty to specialty. Be honest to yourself and to your spouse and you will suceed. Everybody has the jitters at the begining. Check out MD spouse.com and the marriage tip section off www.suite101.com. No matter your proffesion and the stress level there are certain key elements that allow you to suceed. Good Luck and Congartulations!!!
     
  5. KateWL

    KateWL Member 7+ Year Member

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    Apr 23, 2001
    Fort Lauderdale, FL
    I have no wisdom from experience, though I will be atteding Nova this fall as a 4 and 1/2 month newlywed-just married in March!
    I do have a friend that will be starting her 4th year this fall at MSU-COM and has been married since the summer just after her first year. She has said many times that it has made her life much easier! She has really relied on his support, not just emotionally, but around the house! He has been really considerate and taken away all those little daily responsabilites such as bills, housework, and general errands so that she can completely focus on her goal and spend any free time she has with him. I hope for the same (I got a guy that does the dishes, laundry, cleans toilets and does the bills-I feel pretty lucky). He is a pharmacist and therefore has a common interest in all that I will be studying, so he plans to quiz me and get involved in any way he can. I hope for a positive married med school experience as my friend has had.
    I wish you all the best and congratulations! I hope your wedding goes smoothly-enjoy it, it goes my like a whirlwind.
    If your (future) husband gets bored while you are busy studying this fall he can always hang with mine. He has a few friends in Ft. Lauderdale that he'll be going out with. I know how it can be difficult for some to make a big move without knowing anyone (Louisiana to Florida), and he may want to keep himself occupied while his new bride is pulling that all-nighter. ;)
     
  6. matopet1

    matopet1 Member 10+ Year Member

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    Jan 14, 2001
    columbus,oh
    Sorry abou that I am on the wait list at GW. I did not make that clear. Either a my wife and i are nuts or we are an inredible team for taking this risk. I think we are a little of both. By the way you will hear some awful dr divorce stories on mdspouse. Look at why the marriages failed and you will see patterns of miscommunication, mistrust and selfishness( the components of a bad marriage no matter what your profession). YES YOUCAN BE MARRIED AND SURVIVE MED SCHOOL AND LIFE!!
     
  7. matopet1

    matopet1 Member 10+ Year Member

    52
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    Jan 14, 2001
    columbus,oh
    By the way it is difficult to type while holding a 25 lb 10 month old. Sorry about the typos --Good Luck!!
     
  8. stuDOc

    stuDOc Member 10+ Year Member

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    Aug 4, 2000
    Montgomery, NY
    Here's something that should make you feel better! I got married five months before I started my first year, had my first son during the first day of our third test block, and am currently expecting my second son in late August just before I start my third year! To be honest with you it's great! With all the stress, you really need someone that's there for you when you get home. Just one caution, It will not be easy. It's so easy to get your priorities jumbled, and that's where you get into trouble. Your marriage has to be your number one priority.
     
  9. Popoy

    Popoy SDN Super Moderator 10+ Year Member

    3,071
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    Apr 22, 2001
    Michigan
    I just got married myself.... so far so good.... I KNOW it'll be fine!!! :D
     
  10. Popoy

    Popoy SDN Super Moderator 10+ Year Member

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    Apr 22, 2001
    Michigan
    Where's my manners.....

    CONGRATULATIONS Choirgrl05!!!

    I wish you the best and luck with your marriage!!!

    :cool:
     
  11. vdubpower

    vdubpower Senior Member 10+ Year Member

    but how do u do it if u are starting med in the fall , after just completing undergrad. im 23, and thiniking abt marriage in the next yr, only problem is i got no cash to support my gal? all my money is goin into medschool
     
  12. Popoy

    Popoy SDN Super Moderator 10+ Year Member

    3,071
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    Apr 22, 2001
    Michigan
    LOANS!!!! LOANS!!!!

    I'm 23, myself.... But my wife and I have enough savings to get her through her masters degree as well as pay for our shelter and food.... Asides from that I'll be doing LOANS.... IF I don't receive any scholarships from the NHSC or HPSP....

    Make sure you can support each other.... That's very true!!!
     
  13. kidterrific

    kidterrific Senior Member 10+ Year Member

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    Oct 12, 2000
    Detroit, MI
    Po - I'm the exact same age as you, and I have a question...

    Do you feel you got married too young in life? I'm just curious, and I don't think anything's wrong with it. I just want to have your opinion.
     
  14. kidterrific

    kidterrific Senior Member 10+ Year Member

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    Oct 12, 2000
    Detroit, MI
    And regarding the question itself - "marriages and med school - is it possible?"

    I answer with this:
    You got into medical school - NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.

    I say that to myself almost every day. Positive attitude is key.
     
  15. Popoy

    Popoy SDN Super Moderator 10+ Year Member

    3,071
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    Apr 22, 2001
    Michigan
    Hey KidT,
    Nope, didn't think I married too early.... I'll continue this thought in our DMU Class of 2005 trend.... (for those of you who are interested in my thoughts about marrying "pretty young" come visit DMU Class of 2005).... Otherwise, I'm sure KidT will see this....

    Later,
    Popoy
     
  16. bluejay

    bluejay Member 7+ Year Member

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    Jun 5, 2001
    NSU-COM
    Hey Choirgirl!!!! La la la la la la (that's me singing, too) Why can't I get any M1 year tips????? Look at my post, no one will answer me? You will do just fine with your marriage!!! I know it. You will have each other for support and you will have me and my "hubby," too! (Although you may regret the latter [he he]) :D :D ;) ;) :D :D
     
  17. Popoy

    Popoy SDN Super Moderator 10+ Year Member

    3,071
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    Apr 22, 2001
    Michigan
    My comment about marrying early... if you're interested... is on Page 11 in DMU Class of 2005 thread.... :D
     
  18. Choirgrl05

    Choirgrl05 Member 7+ Year Member

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    Apr 22, 2001
    Shreveport, LA, USA
    Thanks you guys!
    It's great to know that there have been so many positive experiences on the subject. As for you guys with kids in med school, y'all are truly supermen(women). I can't imagine!
    As for being too young, no way. It is very comforting to be settling down at 22. I just know what works for me.
    Now, for that getting him to do housework thing...
    -grl :D ;)
     
  19. Popoy

    Popoy SDN Super Moderator 10+ Year Member

    3,071
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    Apr 22, 2001
    Michigan
    I'm not sure if you read my comments Choirgrl05 in the DMU Class of 2005 thread, but I have the sentiments about marrying young....

    It's not for everyone, but I know it's for me.
     
  20. Jamier2

    Jamier2 SDN Hillbilly Moderator Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

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    Mar 22, 2001
    Kentucky
    When did you get married popoy (what age)? I got married when I was about to turn 20, and have never regretted it at all. I will have my 6 year anniversary this Sunday, and I love being married. I do think happiness and feeling like you may have messed up depends on who you marry, though. :D
     
  21. Popoy

    Popoy SDN Super Moderator 10+ Year Member

    3,071
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    Apr 22, 2001
    Michigan
    23 years of age!!!

    Jamie, you should check out my comment in the DMU Class of 2005 page 11.... when you get a chance....
     
  22. drnick

    drnick Junior Member

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    Jun 7, 2001
    Hey,
    I'll throw in my two cents. My wife and I just made it through the first two years of school. We have been married almost 7 years and have two kids. What you MUST remember when you start getting stressed around tests is "who you want your fans to be." The best Doc I know told me that and it has stuck ever since. Don't get caught up in the "I have to be at the top of my class" attitude or your marriage will suffer. Relax. Med-school is work but it really is as hard as you make it. You can be efficient, study the important things, and get along just fine without neglecting your family. Don't forget who your true fans are...BTW-we got married at 19!
     

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