Mcat and relationship stress

[gotgame83]

Cmon guys I cant be alone on this one lol. I mean we all have challenging majors, my major is biochemistry/molecular biology. Its pretty involved at times, spending long hours in the lab, tutoring for extra money and studying often. Well my girlfriend is normally very supportive, she has been for 3 years. Well finally mcat studying came up. For the last 12 weeks i have been commiting most of my free time to studying while only driving to see her (1 1/2 hours away) about twice a week. So two days ago i got "the talk." It went something like this, " your just always so busy, is this how medical school is going to be, your just going to be studying all the time and doing doctor stuff, I dont think we can be together?". See shes a theatre major, not exactly something that requires lots of library time lol. Cmon guys/girls how many of you are going through relationship problems due to the mcat?

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[NilamPatel]

Cmon guys/girls how many of you are going through relationship problems due to the mcat?

i have no more friends, they all hate me because if i am not studying for the MCAT i am talking about it. they have stopped calling/emailing. my best friend/roommate is also taking them and she and i spend hours upon hours talking about tests, books, etc...we have only talked to each other the WHOLE summer about the MCAT. don't even get me started on a "special" guy friend, its a big ole mess and a half...



MCATs have taken my soul, my money, and my social life

 

[topdogg82]

well the truth is that its gonna get worse w/ med school and residency in terms of time commitments before it gets better. u just have to decide on ur priorities and whether u can honestly see something serious down the road. both sides have a case- the gf wants more time justifiably w/ her bf, and the bf wants to make sure his career goals work out, which requires a lot of time. im sure u realize by now that relationships are about way more than just liking each other/getting along. things like this really can get in the way and u'll just have to think about whether it can work (of course after the mcat lol)

 

[FutureDoc2010]

Whenever I give my buddies advice on girls I tell them "bros before hoes," but in the case of excessive studying for the MCAT i'm not sure what advice to give. hmm... maybe "goals before hoes." Not as catchy I guess...

 

[MoosePilot]

Well, be honest with her. This probably is how med school is going to be if you want to excel. Then she can make an informed decision.

You're going out of your way to see her. My wife got less time than that while I was studying.

 

[MoosePilot]

Gotgame83,

I hope things work out for you. One of the posters, who's name I won't mention, from the April MCATers........

Had been dumped by his girlfriend just days before the MCAT. Oh and the worst part, from what he said here on SDN, was that his girlfriend was a med student who should understand this stuff. But such is life. I hope things work out.

Dude, that is just nasty. A med student gf that did that instead of just waiting a month is mean.

 

[RayhanS1282]

A wise man once said: Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed.

 

[gotgame83]

Thanks guys. i guess im not alone in this lol. Just makes me mad. I havent studied at all this week, well i took a practice test two days ago but that was it. I guess I need to say screw it for now and just start cramming these next 6 days. Guju, remember how i sent you that pic of me and the gf, yea like 7 hours after that i got that " med school is consuming all your time" talk. Oh well, I have plenty of time to dwell on this later, but right now I hate a pretty hot date.....with the kaplan BS section, man those E2 reactions are sexy, and dont get me started on bacteria conjugation, those lil strumpet proks and all their DNA swappin...

 

[frany584]

Originally posted by gotgame83
Cmon guys I cant be alone on this one lol. I mean we all have challenging majors, my major is biochemistry/molecular biology. Its pretty involved at times, spending long hours in the lab, tutoring for extra money and studying often. Well my girlfriend is normally very supportive, she has been for 3 years. Well finally mcat studying came up. For the last 12 weeks i have been commiting most of my free time to studying while only driving to see her (1 1/2 hours away) about twice a week. So two days ago i got "the talk." It went something like this, " your just always so busy, is this how medical school is going to be, your just going to be studying all the time and doing doctor stuff, I dont think we can be together?". See shes a theatre major, not exactly something that requires lots of library time lol. Cmon guys/girls how many of you are going through relationship problems due to the mcat?

its definitely tough to have a relationship and try to pursue medicine. many times it gets stressful with my boyfriend and i, but i always tell him this is something that ive wanted for a long time and i need to establish myself and my career so i wont hafta depend on anyone else. it works both ways though too because many times hes really busy working on projects for work. but i think that ur g/f should try to understand its not like u ENJOY studying all the time or that u prefer studying over seeing her, but its something u hafta do to be successful. try not to stress and hopefully it will all work out after this stupid test is over with!! good luck

 

[JohnUC33]

Well, my girlfriend dumped me right in the middle of my studies in July mainly because I told her that my studies come first. She kept saying that we can get back together after I finish with medical school and have time for her. But, I don't want a girl who is not willing to endure through the tough times in a relationship. Basically, like my mom told me, if she really loves you, she will stick with you no matter how much or little time you spend together. Dude, if she can't endure now, you might want to consider letting you go before she causes you a lot of stress in this already stressful process.

 

[DrBowtie]

I just keep telling my g/f that I need to do well so I can get a derm or rad onc residency so I will have time for her. LOL.

In all seriousness, it takes a special person to be with a doctor in training. They truly need to be able to deal with being second at some points in life. I would hope that they would like/love you enough to want you to accomplish your goals and be willing to sacrifice just like you do.

 

[yunan]

Well, my girlfriend dumped me right in the middle of my studies in July mainly because I told her that my studies come first. She kept saying that we can get back together after I finish with medical school and have time for her. But, I don't want a girl who is not willing to endure through the tough times in a relationship. Basically, like my mom told me, if she really loves you, she will stick with you no matter how much or little time you spend together. Dude, if she can't endure now, you might want to consider letting you go before she causes you a lot of stress in this already stressful process.

Amen, girlfriend and I broke up back in July also, right in the middle of my study. Just started talking about me moving away and the whole LD thing... plus the whole no time to see each other cuz of MCAT argument. That was the end of it.....there were some other things but let me know if you really wan to to hear it.

So, you're definitely not alone gotgame83! I STILL feel like crap, and i hate to admit that it is affecting my studies and I know damn well that it shouldn't. This is just the worst time to go through a break-up cuz you can't even go out with your friends for extended breathers. Instead you're stuck to do the worst to cope with a breakup - forced to stay in one place while being nonsocial and stuck to something that bores that hell outuv you. Also forced to neglect your friends many times when you most need them. WTF....this is just the worst timing. Oh and by the way, before she was all like, "oh I can be your proctor and make sure you're on top of things, and let me score your tests." And now look what you've done.... one cold blooded human being!

 

[gotgame83]

Well, my girlfriend dumped me right in the middle of my studies in July mainly because I told her that my studies come first. She kept saying that we can get back together after I finish with medical school and have time for her. But, I don't want a girl who is not willing to endure through the tough times in a relationship. Basically, like my mom told me, if she really loves you, she will stick with you no matter how much or little time you spend together. Dude, if she can't endure now, you might want to consider letting you go before she causes you a lot of stress in this already stressful process.

Wow, ur 100% right bro. Its comments like this that actually help when ur locked away and the only social companionship u have is two guys named Jordan and Jon lol

 

[gotgame83]

Amen, girlfriend and I broke up back in July also, right in the middle of my study. Just started talking about me moving away and the whole LD thing... plus the whole no time to see each other cuz of MCAT argument. That was the end of it.....there were some other things but let me know if you really wan to to hear it.

So, you're definitely not alone gotgame83! I STILL feel like crap, and i hate to admit that it is affecting my studies and I know damn well that it shouldn't. This is just the worst time to go through a break-up cuz you can't even go out with your friends for extended breathers. Instead you're stuck to do the worst to cope with a breakup - forced to stay in one place while being nonsocial and stuck to something that bores that hell outuv you. Also forced to neglect your friends many times when you most need them. WTF....this is just the worst timing. Oh and by the way, before she was all like, "oh I can be your proctor and make sure you're on top of things, and let me score your tests." And now look what you've done.... one cold blooded human being!

Yea its been affecting my studies this week too. I had plans on really studying hard this whole week but i couldnt get myself to do anything other then go out boxing with my friends(they beat the crap outta me lol) and do some body work on my dads corvette. It really sucks being alone for so many hours being bored out of ur mind, learning things that you hate. Its bearable when you know that the other person is being supportive and understanding so you get to call/see them the second your done.

Hahah my girlfriend said the same thing about wanting to help me out. Infact she was the one encouraging me telling me to study more, and how I shouldnt worry about having to go out with her all the time right now because this is important and if I need any help with grading tests she wanted me to call her. Well that stopped mid May. Now I have to go in my basement and do the same thing that just cost me a 3 year relationship. But as a previous poster stated, you want a girl who will be with you when its hard and when its easy. Well enough complaining out of me, all of you really helped out a lot. Im glad to see im not the only one who has difficulties dealing with this crap sometimes. Ive got to get in my basement because theres only a few days left...

 

[Dr.VanNostrand]

Oh well, I have plenty of time to dwell on this later, but right now I hate a pretty hot date.....with the kaplan BS section, man those E2 reactions are sexy, and dont get me started on bacteria conjugation, those lil strumpet proks and all their DNA swappin...

I'll bet my girlfriend would break up with me too if I started talking like this...

 

[Psycho Doctor]

Cmon guys I cant be alone on this one lol. I mean we all have challenging majors, my major is biochemistry/molecular biology. Its pretty involved at times, spending long hours in the lab, tutoring for extra money and studying often. Well my girlfriend is normally very supportive, she has been for 3 years. Well finally mcat studying came up. For the last 12 weeks i have been commiting most of my free time to studying while only driving to see her (1 1/2 hours away) about twice a week. So two days ago i got "the talk." It went something like this, " your just always so busy, is this how medical school is going to be, your just going to be studying all the time and doing doctor stuff, I dont think we can be together?". See shes a theatre major, not exactly something that requires lots of library time lol. Cmon guys/girls how many of you are going through relationship problems due to the mcat?

wow, my gf was pretty upset with me when i was studying last year. I didn't se ehe rmuch at all either (had lots of other commitments too: organic in summer school, volunteer work and shadowing) and i only had a very short commute. i can't believe you go 1.5 hrs twice a week. tell her to come to you to save you the travel time since you are so limited on time. I normally do all the driving in a relationship but that is extreme in your case and your time is more limited and she is the one who is complaining.

 

[karlin009]

But, I don't want a girl who is not willing to endure through the tough times in a relationship. Basically, like my mom told me, if she really loves you, she will stick with you no matter how much or little time you spend together. Dude, if she can't endure now, you might want to consider letting you go before she causes you a lot of stress in this already stressful process.

^agreed.
If someone really cares they will wait. I was commited to someone who wasn't around very much for 2 years. He didn't realize how much he meant to me until it was too late(painful mind games..ugh). When you love someone you love them and it is hard to be torn away by another.


eh...GG her feelings weren't real...she wasn't thinking of the future, she thinking about NOW!
NOW get back to studying because you becoming a doctor is REAL!!!

 

[gotgame83]

I'll bet my girlfriend would break up with me too if I started talking like this...

hahaha.

 

[jon0013]

hahaha.

man basically you should just lay it down and be straight up...tell her your goals and aspirations are far more important at this time...i mean i dont know the specifics of your relationship and if marriage and stuff is in the future...but if it was me, i would pick a chances to do real well and go to a good med school over a girl anytime...just hang in there 1 wk....

 

[gotgame83]

thanks a lot bro. Thats pretty much what i have decided to do. Right now in my life medical school is a top priority. One more week of studying, take this damn test. If i do well it will change my life. Ive been studying all day long so far and I have good concentration unlike the last few days when i tried. Its one of the benefits to online communities like this. You learn that there are many people in the same situation as yourself. Sometimes talking to people going through the same crap can give u a different perspective on the situation that can really change how you feel. Thanks again everyone, you all really helped out this week.

 

[~CDN Pre-med~]

Well...my bf and I both wrote the MCAT...in different years and we live 2 hours away..We saw each other about every two to three weeks which was fine because we understood how hard it is. I find it pretty amazing that you were able to see her so frequently.

She should be grateful that you were willing to spend so much time with her, knowing the amount of hard work that goes into this, rather than a pain in the you-know-what.

If she doesn't understand now what hard work goes into this profession, she'll never understand why you get called into work or have to make rounds at 7am or..etc etc. 10 years down the road.

But good luck with that and don't let it affect your studying too much

 

[gotgame83]

I think thats what it came down to. She didnt understand how hard this all is and how time consuming it can all be. Its funny because i have atleast 4 friends whose relationships have ended because school work came first. We are all pre-meds here and we can understand how difficult it is. A lot of people outside of this career path dont have a clue as to the pressures we are under or how much work it is. I recall one time last semester before my biochem final I went to see her she didnt understand why i had to study all nite, and asked why i couldnt just wake up a few minutes early to look over the stuff before class... oh it must have been nice to be a theatre major lol

 

[NilamPatel]

I think thats what it came down to. She didnt understand how hard this all is and how time consuming it can all be. Its funny because i have atleast 4 friends whose relationships have ended because school work came first. We are all pre-meds here and we can understand how difficult it is. A lot of people outside of this career path dont have a clue as to the pressures we are under or how much work it is.

AMEN TO THAT