Med School and being in a serious relationship...

[yalla22]

For those that are med students and in committed relationships, and are long distance, how often do you see your SO? I will be in med school this fall and I my bf (hopefully soon to be fiance) will not be in the same city as me - this is the first time we have been in this situation and i am absolutely dreading it with every once of me...i dont know what to expect of my schedule, how often we will be able to see each other and i'm wondering what others do and how they cope. I also keep trying to tell myself that there are many others in this situation and that everyone else makes it through somehow and that this is just the sacrifice that we have to make for getting through grad school...

Any ideas/stories/advice?

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[sirus_virus]

It depends on your SO.

 

[Critical Mass]

Just break up before the distance destroys the relationship. Doctors aren't supposed to fraternize with non-doctors anyway.

 

[soeagerun2or]

My class lost 100%,the class below me lost 100%, and the class above me lost 97% (all but 1) committed long distance relationships (including engagements, not including marriages). Long distance defined as > 30 minutes apart.

 

[Dr. Dukes]

My girlfriend (who is currently an MSII) goes to med school ~2 hours away from me. I realized, especially when she was taking anatomy, that if I wanted to see her on the weekends (I wanted to see her on the weekends) I would have to do the driving. Once she was done with anatomy and could travel, we would basically alternate weekends. I will be starting med school in the fall, and this is where it gets tricky. Hopefully she'll be doing her 3rd year stuff about an hour away from me, but who knows how much time we're going to be able to spend together when I'm trying to learn anatomy and she's trying to learn whatever rotation she's currently doing.

Being away from your BF will be hard, but if he's a good guy he can deal. The hardest part for me was knowing she had to study and couldn't spend all her weekend time with me, but also wanting to do more than eat meals with her on the weekends. Luckily, I'm an EMT on the fire dept in her town, and she likes to study at home. I would basically sit around waiting for someone to hurt themselves while she studied, and whenever I got bored of TV or whatever I was doing I would go distract her for 10-15 minutes to get my "GF" time. You two will figure out how to make it work, but it can work.

 

[yalla22]

My class lost 100%,the class below me lost 100%, and the class above me lost 97% (all but 1) committed long distance relationships (including engagements, not including marriages). Long distance defined as > 30 minutes apart.

Whaaat? thats crazy! Actually...thats really sad. i hope i hear a little bit of the opposite.

 

[OB1🤙]

I went to school in New Orleans, SO lived in Oakland. We saw each other about once every 6 weeks probably on average, taking turns flying. 4th year brought a lot more free time and I actually lived with her in Cali for about 3 months during the late summer.

We just got married this past Saturday! The long-distance thing sucks, but if your relationship is meant to be, it can be done.

 

[Biscuit799]

For those that are med students and in committed relationships, and are long distance, how often do you see your SO? I will be in med school this fall and I my bf (hopefully soon to be fiance) will not be in the same city as me - this is the first time we have been in this situation and i am absolutely dreading it with every once of me...i dont know what to expect of my schedule, how often we will be able to see each other and i'm wondering what others do and how they cope. I also keep trying to tell myself that there are many others in this situation and that everyone else makes it through somehow and that this is just the sacrifice that we have to make for getting through grad school...

Any ideas/stories/advice?

My girlfriend and I have been together for 1 year and 6 months. We've been doing the long distance thing for 9 of those 18 months. It really sucks at first, but the best thing you can do is find a routine that works for you. My gf and I talk on the phone 2x per day at least. Once for sure when she gets off work, and once before we go to bed. We often will talk more than that, but it's part of our routine to talk at least that much. We also don't go more than two weeks without seeing each other. Sometimes we'll go 3 or 4 weeks, but there are also times where I'll see her every day for a month. It'll get tougher as I near Step 1, but it works for us.
You also have to make sure that you're BOTH busy. If one person is an undergrad, goes to class 2 hours/ day and has nothing to do but sit around and pine for the other, then it's going to be really rough on that person when you have to study for 8 hours a day. Also on your off weekends, go out with your friends, hang out, and have a good time.
Also there's the issue of cheating. I know nobody wants to talk about it, but it's real, and it's easy to do if either of you want to. I was actually just talking about this w/ my SO yesterday. Everybody says "oh you just have to trust each other." But we were talking about it, and for both of us, it goes beyond that. It's not just that I trust my gf, I do and I don't want to downplay that, but I feel that I know her so well, that I just know she wouldn't do that. I know she loves me, and I know she's a kind person, and I know her personality so well that I just couldn't see her doing it. And she told me how she feels the same way. It's much more personal than just "trust each other." (also, on a practical note, i personally think it's ridiculous to do so. there is absolutely no point to putting yourself through the stress of a long distance relationship if you're gonna cheat)

Basically, being in a long distance relationship will only work if you want it to. It sounds ridiculous, but it's very easy to either a) get caught up in your own daily routine and "forget" about the other, or b) get so desperate for the other person that you neglect your own life. I know we really hate being away from each other, but we've also grown so much closer, and our relationship has never been better.

ohh... and we live 4 hours away from each other.

 

[Biscuit799]

Whaaat? thats crazy! Actually...thats really sad. i hope i hear a little bit of the opposite.

actually that's about right for my class too. unless the couples were engaged, married, or very close to being engaged, then they broke up.

 

[yalla22]

My girlfriend and I have been together for 1 year and 6 months. We've been doing the long distance thing for 9 of those 18 months. It really sucks at first, but the best thing you can do is find a routine that works for you. My gf and I talk on the phone 2x per day at least. Once for sure when she gets off work, and once before we go to bed. We often will talk more than that, but it's part of our routine to talk at least that much. We also don't go more than two weeks without seeing each other. Sometimes we'll go 3 or 4 weeks, but there are also times where I'll see her every day for a month. It'll get tougher as I near Step 1, but it works for us.
You also have to make sure that you're BOTH busy. If one person is an undergrad, goes to class 2 hours/ day and has nothing to do but sit around and pine for the other, then it's going to be really rough on that person when you have to study for 8 hours a day. Also on your off weekends, go out with your friends, hang out, and have a good time.
Also there's the issue of cheating. I know nobody wants to talk about it, but it's real, and it's easy to do if either of you want to. I was actually just talking about this w/ my SO yesterday. Everybody says "oh you just have to trust each other." But we were talking about it, and for both of us, it goes beyond that. It's not just that I trust my gf, I do and I don't want to downplay that, but I feel that I know her so well, that I just know she wouldn't do that. I know she loves me, and I know she's a kind person, and I know her personality so well that I just couldn't see her doing it. And she told me how she feels the same way. It's much more personal than just "trust each other." (also, on a practical note, i personally think it's ridiculous to do so. there is absolutely no point to putting yourself through the stress of a long distance relationship if you're gonna cheat)

Basically, being in a long distance relationship will only work if you want it to. It sounds ridiculous, but it's very easy to either a) get caught up in your own daily routine and "forget" about the other, or b) get so desperate for the other person that you neglect your own life. I know we really hate being away from each other, but we've also grown so much closer, and our relationship has never been better.

ohh... and we live 4 hours away from each other.

Interesting - we definitely fall into the category of being so close/trustworthy that we know that there would be no issue of cheating..i totally trust my SO and jus tknow that he isnt the type to do that..and i'm not either. neither of us are interested in anyone else. I guess my fear is what you mentioned in (b) that i miss him so much that i stop functioning efficiently and that i let my emotions get in the way of my daily routine. for your 4 hours distance, is this plane or car? for us, the best case scenerio is he is 1.5 hours away and can easily come by car every weekend or worst case scared: ) he will be a $300 plane ride away....ugh.

 

[Biscuit799]

Interesting - we definitely fall into the category of being so close/trustworthy that we know that there would be no issue of cheating..i totally trust my SO and jus tknow that he isnt the type to do that..and i'm not either. neither of us are interested in anyone else. I guess my fear is what you mentioned in (b) that i miss him so much that i stop functioning efficiently and that i let my emotions get in the way of my daily routine. for your 4 hours distance, is this plane or car? for us, the best case scenerio is he is 1.5 hours away and can easily come by car every weekend or worst case scared: ) he will be a $300 plane ride away....ugh.

We're 4 hours away by car. As far as you missing him so much that you stop functioning, it's going to suck for a little while. But you'll probably get used to it before he does because you have to. You're going to be studying for anat or physio, or IM (depending on what year you are), and if you spend too much time missing him, that bad grade or two will bring you back to earth really quickly. So it'll be rough for a few weeks, but you'll be okay in the end.

 

[bubabugster]

Honestly, it depends on the guy. If you feel like you are the one that is more vested in the relationship, then you will get really hurt trying to make things work. Sounds like you want the relationship- but you're only as strong as your weakest link. I hope everything works out for you!

 

[Dr. Dukes]

One thing I forgot to mention is that you have to remember your BF is a person also. There were a couple of times when I would come up for a weekend and my GF would basically ignore me because she had to study or was stressed or whatever. I never expected her to do nothing all weekend, but when she would ignore me the entire time in favor of whatever book it got old fast. This sounds rude, and I think I'm gonna get yelled at for it, but you have to make time for your bf as much as he makes time for you. He is a person with emotional needs also, and if you forget that or let your studying rule your life to the point when you're yelling at him or something (never happened with my and my gf, but one of her friends gets in screaming fights with her fiance about wedding stuff all the time) the relationship could end quickly.
If he's a decent guy he will understand what you're going through school wise and try to stay out of the way, but you have to remember you have to pay attention to him when he's around, otherwise he'll stop being around.

Feel free to PM me if you want.

 

[psipsina]

One thing I forgot to mention is that you have to remember your BF is a person also. There were a couple of times when I would come up for a weekend and my GF would basically ignore me because she had to study or was stressed or whatever. I never expected her to do nothing all weekend, but when she would ignore me the entire time in favor of whatever book it got old fast. This sounds rude, and I think I'm gonna get yelled at for it, but you have to make time for your bf as much as he makes time for you. He is a person with emotional needs also, and if you forget that or let your studying rule your life to the point when you're yelling at him or something (never happened with my and my gf, but one of her friends gets in screaming fights with her fiance about wedding stuff all the time) the relationship could end quickly.
If he's a decent guy he will understand what you're going through school wise and try to stay out of the way, but you have to remember you have to pay attention to him when he's around, otherwise he'll stop being around.

Feel free to PM me if you want.

I'm not gonna yell at you because I think there is a grain of truth to what you said, the importance of remembering your non medstudent SO's feelings even when it feels like the world is revolving around the impending doom of your next exam. However the statement that you need to make as much time for you non med SO as they make for you is absurd because its alot easier for the non med SO to make time. My hubby works about 40-50 hours a week and would happilly spend all his free time with me, if I spent all that time with him I would fail out of medschool. When we get close to a test and he's having free time he just goes out with his buddies and comes home for one of my scheduled breaks to eat or at the end of the night to have a little time together. He knows that the time I'm investing now is going to make both of our lives better in the long run and that when I choose my books over time with him it doesn't mean I wouldn't love to spend time with him too. Of course you should never be abusive to your SO because your stressed but choosing your books over your SO is the name of the game for much of medschool.

 

[Dr. Dukes]

However the statement that you need to make as much time for you non med SO as they make for you is absurd because its alot easier for the non med SO to make time.

I didn't mean this at all, sorry if I implied it. I simply meant that it can be very easy to stress out about anatomy/biochem/path/whatever and forget that there is this nice SO who is bored on your couch because he drove two hours to see you and you're not doing anything with him. Don't do this! Take time to spend time with them (besides meals). If they had a hard day at work, talk to them about it. They are people also!

 

[Pinner Doc]

I'm an MS-III and I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years and 3 months now (if you want to be precise).... and 3 years and 3 months of that time has been long distance. (I'm in Manhattan, he's in Burlington, VT). We're planning on getting married next spring before graduation-- so it can be done!

 

[Critical Mass]

I'm an MS-III and I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years and 3 months now (if you want to be precise).... and 3 years and 3 months of that time has been long distance. (I'm in Manhattan, he's in Burlington, VT). We're planning on getting married next spring before graduation-- so it can be done!

Manhattan, Kansas or Manhattan, New York?

 

[StritchMD2011]

What do you guys think about this? It looks like my girlfriend and I will be attending the same school next year. I'm being honest when I say we were both looking to go to the school that fit us best (even if that meant being apart), but coincidentally, it ended up being the same school.

We've been dating for over 2 years now, and have a pretty strong relationship. We're both a bit worried about attending the same school, but at the same time we both acknowledge that there could be some definite benefits as well. Fortunately, the school has a class of ~140, so it should be large enough to stay out of one another's way during the day so that we don't get sick of one another.

Does anyone foresee this type of setup working??

 

[Critical Mass]

What do you guys think about this? It looks like my girlfriend and I will be attending the same school next year. I'm being honest when I say we were both looking to go to the school that fit us best (even if that meant being apart), but coincidentally, it ended up being the same school.

We've been dating for over 2 years now, and have a pretty strong relationship. We're both a bit worried about attending the same school, but at the same time we both acknowledge that there could be some definite benefits as well. Fortunately, the school has a class of ~140, so it should be large enough to stay out of one another's way during the day so that we don't get sick of one another.

Does anyone foresee this type of setup working??

Not sure why that is a coincidence after looking at your mdapps. If you are in-state and got in at UIC, that seems to be the obvious choice barring a significant scholarship elsewhere. Aren't the classes over 300 students there? I'd say that the odds were thus good that you'd wind up in the same place.

At any rate, I don't see why this would be a relationship red flag. Was one of you considering spending an extra $10-20K a year in tuition to avoid possibly hurting the relationship? That would seem silly.

With med school classes the size that they are, you can easily avoid each other during the day if you want to. Hell I don't go to class anyway, so I inadvertantly avoid everybody. As for the clinical years, the chances aren't great that you'd be paired together anyway.

Tell us what you are concerned about. I don't see why this is a big deal. Did you not meet at the same undergrad school?

 

[LJDHC05]

What do you guys think about this? It looks like my girlfriend and I will be attending the same school next year. I'm being honest when I say we were both looking to go to the school that fit us best (even if that meant being apart), but coincidentally, it ended up being the same school.

We've been dating for over 2 years now, and have a pretty strong relationship. We're both a bit worried about attending the same school, but at the same time we both acknowledge that there could be some definite benefits as well. Fortunately, the school has a class of ~140, so it should be large enough to stay out of one another's way during the day so that we don't get sick of one another.

Does anyone foresee this type of setup working??

If you make it through the first block without killing each other and make sure to keep as much of your relationship outside the context of med school as possible and you should be fine. FWIW, it's my personal policy not to date/screw anyone that is a co-worker/colleague. I need to have a complete separation between my relationship and my job to keep me sane on both fronts. But people do it all the time, and that's why the NRMP holds the Couple's Match every year.

I've been with my girlfriend for 5+ years now and 2 of those years have been long distance (~4 hours away...she's a 2nd year law student and I'm a first year). I look at med school as my chance to get my life aspirations squared away before I start my life with her. And while that threesome with twin Swedish lingerie models is out of the question now, (I seem to remember something about cutting my junk off and feeding it to piranhas) I can still spend an adequate amount of time studying away from her without feeling like I'm neglecting her. Fortunately she has a similar view of the situation. When we visit each other, we both put the books away and lose the weekend of studying. It works fairly well, for us because we're both very flexible and level-headed when it comes to relationships. There are definitely many times when it sucks royally, but the good outweighs the bad.

Best of luck

 

[StritchMD2011]

We're actually both considering Loyola. I've been fairly dead-set on it after interviewing, though I do have the financial concerns that you mentioned. I was offered in-state tuition to Nebraska, and I also have U of I as an option. Unfortunately, I was accepted fairly late and was put on the Champaign/Urbana - Rockford track. I really can't see myself living in those places for the next two years.

I'm being honest when I say I'm trying to exclude my girlfriend as a major factor for why I choose a school. She's definitely going to Loyola, as she didn't get in to her first choice (Colorado). As I mentioned before, neither of us were planning on going to the same school when we started this process.

Yes, we did meet in undergrad. We've actually been in tons of classes together (smaller undergrad) and have done fine. She says she's worried mainly because she thinks there will be competition between us. I personally don't find myself competing with her, so I'm not too worried...

I was mainly interested in hearing anecdotal evidence about couples attending medical school together and how they faired.

 

[Pinner Doc]

Manhattan, Kansas or Manhattan, New York?

LOL, New York. I wasn't aware there was a Manhattan, Kansas!

 

[yalla22]

We're actually both considering Loyola. I've been fairly dead-set on it after interviewing, though I do have the financial concerns that you mentioned. I was offered in-state tuition to Nebraska, and I also have U of I as an option. Unfortunately, I was accepted fairly late and was put on the Champaign/Urbana - Rockford track. I really can't see myself living in those places for the next two years.

I'm being honest when I say I'm trying to exclude my girlfriend as a major factor for why I choose a school. She's definitely going to Loyola, as she didn't get in to her first choice (Colorado). As I mentioned before, neither of us were planning on going to the same school when we started this process.

Yes, we did meet in undergrad. We've actually been in tons of classes together (smaller undergrad) and have done fine. She says she's worried mainly because she thinks there will be competition between us. I personally don't find myself competing with her, so I'm not too worried...

I was mainly interested in hearing anecdotal evidence about couples attending medical school together and how they faired.

Hopefully, i wont sound harsh in saying this...BUT...i think you are crazy to be worried about being together at the same school. I know my SO and I would kill to be in that position. If you are going to be spending the rest of your life with that person, wouldnt you want to be in the same city with them and spend as much time with them during the day? esp when you will be facing such a stressful place like med school? i would give me left arm to be in that position.

 

[StritchMD2011]

I'm really grateful to be in this position, actually. I think the only thing we were really worried about is getting in each other's way at school. I suppose it shouldn't be a big deal, though, because we've managed to keep the classroom and our personal lives separate in undergrad. I do think we could be an awesome support system for one another.

 

[Critical Mass]

LOL, New York. I wasn't aware there was a Manhattan, Kansas!

It's the Little Apple, home of the Kansas State University Wildcats! In case you didn't know, they were national champions in livestock judging and debate in the early 90's.

BKadow--Loyola's probably what I'd pick too if the pricetag hasn't exceeded $35K yet, though I'd be easily swayed by UNMC if I had some attachment there. Even if your gf was a Colorado resident, it's a tough place to get in. Their MCAT medians are straight 11's, considerably better than the other state schools in the region.

I have just two comments in response...

1. If you find yourselves competing against each other, you are not in love, at least not in a healthy sort of way. A little bit of spirited fun is okay (like "If I beat you on this test, I totally get to use the naughty place tonight"), but if you start putting business before pleasure, you need to decide if you want a relationship with your career or your woman.

2. It's good to hear you talk about becoming competative. Now that you've recognized the potential to turn to the dark side, don't do it. Nobody can stop you from excelling on the USMLE except you, nobody! Just do your best and ignore the others. If you are with your woman and either of you don't feel the compulsion to help the other with any deficiencies you're having, your relationship is not as solid as you think it is.

For the people doing the long distance thing, here is my .02. In the interest of full disclosure, I have participated in long distance relationships during grad school while my partner was in professional school in another city. Decide what is more important to you--your relationship or your career. Don't do either thing half-assed. If your relationship is more important, be together or get married. If your career trumps your relationship, focus on your career instead.

What I've realized in my wisdom is that a typical metro area that supports a med school has at least a million people in it. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you can never divorce your education. I have always picked the relationship over my educational goals. I have paid dearly for my inability to ignore my heart's desires.

 

[Biscuit799]

I have paid dearly for my inability to ignore my heart's desires.

You're such a romantic.

 

[Captain Fantastic]

I married my wife the summer after her M1 year. I had a great job offer 120 miles away; so the month after we were married I moved. We spent her M2 year apart and saw each other on weekends. She was on a block schedule so she'd come stay with me for the break after exam week. For her M3/M4 years I worked out a way to split my time between the two places more equally. I'll say it wasn't my ideal way to start the marriage but it worked out just fine.

 

[Critical Mass]

You're such a romantic.

Just to be clear, I have never said "If I beat you on this test, I totally get to use the naughty place tonight." I am a perfect gentleman. Now if she said it, I'd lose on purpose.

 

[IckeyShuffle]

For those that are med students and in committed relationships, and are long distance, how often do you see your SO? I will be in med school this fall and I my bf (hopefully soon to be fiance) will not be in the same city as me - this is the first time we have been in this situation and i am absolutely dreading it with every once of me...i dont know what to expect of my schedule, how often we will be able to see each other and i'm wondering what others do and how they cope. I also keep trying to tell myself that there are many others in this situation and that everyone else makes it through somehow and that this is just the sacrifice that we have to make for getting through grad school...

Any ideas/stories/advice?

there are 8 billion people in the world.... long distance isnt worth it unless you are 100% sure it is the person you want to marry. I am a firm believer in there being many people you could be happy with. just one man's opinion. i am sure some would disagree with this.

 

[Peter H]

I think it's a good test of whether the relationship was going to work out or not.

better find out now than once you're married.

 

[lilnoelle]

I think it's a good test of whether the relationship was going to work out or not.

better find out now than once you're married.

I agree. Its better to challenge your relationship any way possible while dating so that you either decide it is not worth it (in which case it was good that you didn't get married) or decide that it is worth it, you stay together, and are better prepared for marriage.
Perhaps I have a more bitter view of marriage than some of my SDN counterparts (psipsina, you seem so incredibly happy) but I think my views on separation are different than what they were when my hubby and I were dating. During dating, we were long distance nearly the whole time. I remember the longing, pining, etc. It seemed unbearable. Now I think I would enjoy a reprieve.

 

[Law2Doc]

there are 8 billion people in the world...

No there aren't. Not even 7 bill yet. (For a running "ticker" see http://www.ibiblio.org/lunarbin/worldpop). And the vast majority are going to be at least as long distance as any SO you might have. At best, you might live in a city where there are a couple million who are local. At worst, a couple thousand. And of those, you probably will only meet fewer than 100 with good potential.

 

[yellowcat322]

I've been doing the long distance thing with my bf for nearly two years now. I'm in LA and he's in NY so its nearly as long distance at is can get in the continental US. WE see each other about every 5 weeks (usually right after my exams). We have definitely went through rough times because of the long distance but making it through made us a stronger couple.

What you should be aware of is that the distance tends to bring out relationship demons that might've never come out or that you don't even suspect exist in your relationship. It might bring out jealousies that you never knew you had or challenges about the rank of relationship vs. career. I think the reason that there;s such a high break-up rate among long-distance couples is that the majority of dating couples never really get challenged by anything serious so they don't know what it's like to deal with major issues and once these issues come up due to the distance they just assume that it's not worth it. The reality is that the long-distance is just as much of a challenge as many other things you guys will face in your future marriage so if you can get through this you're way ahead of the curve for future success in your marital life.

In summary, i think it's definitely doable just as long as you realize that issues will most likely come up and that it doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is not worth it.

Besides, there are also some perks to the long-distance. I like the fact that I can just focus on my studying here without worrying about depriving him of my attention and when I go to see him I can spend all the time with him without worrying about studying. And nothing nothing nothing ever beats the feeling you get of seeing each other for the first time in weeks - once you're together all the time you never get to miss him like that so those highs go away. Good Luck!

 

[45408]

there are 8 billion people in the world.... long distance isnt worth it unless you are 100% sure it is the person you want to marry. I am a firm believer in there being many people you could be happy with. just one man's opinion. i am sure some would disagree with this.

It's a little trickier than that. You have to find someone that is attractive and likeable, and they have to think the same thing about you. I wouldn't throw away a relationship just because you think that there are plenty other relationships to be easily obtained. Good luck on the dating scene during med school and residency. You'll be busy.


Word of advice for those considering long-distance: when you're not near the one you love, you tend to love the one you're near. even if it doesn't happen to you, it could happen to him.

 

[da8s0859q]

YOUR MILEAGE MAY - AND WILL - VARY.

That is, I've come to see, the only accepted truth with this sort of thing.

I've seen/heard/been told of many a relationship going to **** through medical school, but then again, an MS2 friend of mine is getting married later this year.

So it goes both ways.

 

[alwaysaangel]

I will be doing the same thing. I will be somewhere on the east coast (not sure where exactly yet) and my bf of 3 years will be in Arizona.

Its gonna be tough but I know we can do it. Our whole relationship has be long-distance by some peoples standards (we live 1 hr apart). And we see each other weekends. So we're gonna have to keep busy with our own lives and deal with seeing each other once a month, and I will stay with him a good portion of my winter, spring and summer breaks. But beyond that I have faith that we can make it.

We're hoping that he'll be able to go for his MBA after 2 years, so then we can be together for my 3rd and 4th years. But we're not sure yet. We have to wait and see how everything pans out.

But I think its completely doable, you just have to work at it and not put it second to your studies. You have to be able to priortize and do a lot of different things. But I think if you work at it - everyone can make it.

 

[deleted77919]

No there aren't. Not even 7 bill yet. (For a running "ticker" see http://www.ibiblio.org/lunarbin/worldpop). And the vast majority are going to be at least as long distance as any SO you might have. At best, you might live in a city where there are a couple million who are local. At worst, a couple thousand. And of those, you probably will only meet fewer than 100 with good potential.

Yeah, even in a place with serious population density (read NYC) not everyone in the city is even that accessible.

Live in Queens, Jersey, or even the just upper West side (have you guys tried to get cross town? Ugh . . .)? Sorry . . . isn't gonna work out between us dear.

 

[yyd]

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